KeepingOn

Happy Friday, folks!

This was a tough afternoon -- Friday afternoons often are. The week's stuff is over, and a relaxing evening watching the Tour de France lay ahead. BUT, unfortunately, I had to stop at the store to get some stuff for early in the morning. The liquor store next door beckoned. . . AND I ignored it! A cork in AV's hole! A handful of honey-coated peanuts once I was home, and the desire for a drink was gone.

All I could think, as I was walking through the grocery, was about a lot of the conversation I've read here over the last few days. That made the difference.

This group ROCKS!

KO

Tooshabby

That's so awesome KO!

toadie54

Good job KO, keep moving forward!

I'm finishing up day 22 here today, another strong day. Day 6 of IOP was a continuation of my frustration of not finding much of use for me at these sessions, may go one more week and move on.

Tooshabby

Boy, you seem to be firing on all cylinders, Toadie! That's a bummer that those IOP sessions haven't been much chop. Did you say you might get some one on one counselling?

Eliasson

I stopped at 1. And I have an appointment with the counselor tomorrow morning. Thank you for all the love and encouragement.

Olivia2011

Yay KO AND E! Glad you stopped E. I finished the day with a small scoop of sugar free vanilla ice cream with a drizzle of SF caramel topping. Very good indeed. Smucker's SF topping yum! Had a tomato sandwich for dinner. You can't beat it. A really ripe tomato and mayo. So so good. Even better than putting turkey on it. Just tomato.

KeepingOn

Olivia,

I had fat-free yogurt, with fresh blackberries and a drizzle of honey last night. Fab! And dear spouse made a salad nicoise with heirloom tomatoes -- some sliced and wrapped around fresh basil. Yummmmmmmmm.

Good for you Eliasson! All the best tomorrow!

KO

2WheelsGood

Day 45 here. This week has been easy so far, with lots of things to keep me busy and decent weather. My AV has engaged a cloaking device. Not a peep in days.

I've got an aluminum bat ready for that bugger the next time he comes out. I expect he's waiting, saying ...."soon". Ha! I expect it.

CuteNGayYay

Ughhh this awful depression feeling of Day 2/3 is so much worse when I'm not at home. I'm sure parts of it in my body is cuz I have barely slept. I'm so over these 'detox' feelings. Parts of me really thinks it will be my last. I just can't wait to be back in Cali.

kittycat3

Hang in there CAGY. You can get through this. Make it your last day 2/3, and you'll never feel this way again. XO. Day 2 for me coming to a close, so I know just what it feels like.

CuteNGayYay

Thanks Kitty! I miss my cat . It's been a month <3

CaseyW

Yep. I was getting ready to leave the house when I saw Eliasson's message and just had to post something quickly as I headed out the door.

Glad to come home and see this:

Great job stopping at one drink! That's a big step forward. Let us know how the appointment goes please. We're here for you.

Twas a boring night at work. Too many people on the schedule. Ho hum. I was just telling my May classmates that I accidentally got a good whiff of a glass of cabarnet this evening and it smelled too darn good. While I work with alcohol on a daily basis, that's one of the only times I've really smelt it up close since quitting. It didn't make me want to drink or anything, but I also kinda was hoping it would smell just awful to me. Doesn't matter. I've had more than my fair share of wine already in my life. It's not for me anymore. No matter what.

Grateful to have a job. But also grateful to be home. Grateful for the nice tall glass of sparkling water I just poured over a splash of 100% cranberry juice. That's my new favorite drink. So refreshing and it's healthy for me too.

Especially grateful to be sober for 78 days in a row now. (Make that 79 days in only 24 minutes.) That includes nights and weekends, Julyers. If I can do it, you can too!

angd1978

Wow! So much has happened on this thread since I went to work this morning and just got home for the evening. I just tried to catch up with everyone. Keep up the great work class.

Welcome to all new classmates and returning classmates! Those of you that are struggling or going through a difficult time are in my thoughts and prayers.

I spent the day working in my classroom, took a break to see South paw (great movie btw), helped my friend pack up her classroom, and then her son and his friends helped me with things in my classroom. We finished of the night by treating the boys to frozen yogurt for all of their hard work. I actually walked into the bar area with my friend at the movie theater so that she could order some food, and actually the display of liquor bottles disgusted me. I was not tempted what so ever. I must say that this has been the best start to my 4th weekend in a row SOBER! I left the house for a whole 13 hours today and enjoyed being around people. I never thought I could have fun or make people laugh without having a drink in me, but it turns out that I am still fun?!?

angd1978

Congrats, Casey! I never had the strength to quit or even recognize that I had a problem in the 15+ years that I bartended and waited tables. I think I would have a very hard time now if I was working in the biz, even though I miss it at times. Whoop! 79 days!!!!

CaseyW

Yeah, working in a restaurant and thus being around alcohol in recovery is not something I'd recommend to anyone else trying to sober up, but it's all I really know how to do to make money at present so I've just learned to deal with it for now. I've got some ideas of things I might do to change this situation in the future but for now the restaurant biz keeps me financially stable and that's that. It's just my job, not my life.

It helps that I started a new job in my second week sober this time, so there is not a single person that I work with now who has ever seen me with as much as a drop of alcohol in my system. I honestly don't really focus on the alcohol at work and it really hasn't been an issue at all. I can't say that it's caused even the slightest twinge of a craving or thought of drinking so far this time.

This situation wasn't even a problem tonight--I just thought it was strange and noteworthy that this was the first time I'd really gotten a good whiff of an alcoholic drink when I'm serving dozens of them a day. And also I think it's good for me to remind myself and others here sometimes that I do work with alcohol--it keeps me accountable in some ways just in case it ever does become an issue.

I did turn down an actual bartending position as that would probably be cutting it a little too close for comfort. I don't work in the kind of place where the bartenders are taking shots behind the bar or anything like that, but I still don't think that would be an appropriate decision for me to make in recovery.

And now I'll quit being all blabbermouthy in here and let you Julyers get back to your business. There's some great recovery happening in this class, happy to see you all come together like you have. Keep it up!

sourgrapes

Friday night... at the coffee shop that's open till midnight! Working on a pet project, drinking iced somesuch, reminds me of being in college in a weird, nostalgic way. I could probably still barely count sober Fridays in the last 11 years on 2 hands, but that will change in a week or two.

To be honest, I'm having my first real confrontation with el AV tonight. GF is out of town visiting friends this weekend, this evening as I was waiting for her to leave AV kept reminding me what a 'perfect opportunity' it was to drink all weekend with no one the wiser. Passed several people on the way here carrying their Friday 6 pack, or bottle of wine, or hard stuff, whatever, home, looking like they were in for a good time. Couldn't help but feel jealous that they're able to do that.

There was some talk a while back on this thread about 'talking with your AV'. That idea has been sticking with me, and I'm actually doing it now.

- You feel so much better after just over a week. If you let that good feeling circle back to drinking again, where will you be? Remember where you were just 9 days ago?
- Do you remember how much booze you were drinking just to keep your "buzz" rolling? Days you spent twice as much on booze as on food?
- Remember being so anxious you'd drink before various things, only to deal with paranoia that someone could tell you'd been drinking at an 'inappropriate' time/place?

Debate over, not tonight. I'll go home and space out to Diablo 3 and guzzle sparkling water until I finally get tired, if that's what it takes.

Really, it's this thread and my ability to rant on it that are keeping me accountable tonight, so thanks everyone and have a good one!

charliesworld

I haven't got much time atm to write much or look back through the thread but I just wanted to say hello. I'll come back later to properly introduce myself.

whiteturtle

Hi everyone. I am dead tired, and heading to bed soon, but needed to post.

I drank today. It was on that party bus for work. One of my coworkers handed me her drink that she and another made together the night before, and I didn't really even want it, but I inexplicably felt like it would be rude to not try it after they went to the trouble... So I took a sip.

The sip itself wasn't really a big deal to me. The rest of the day at the amusement park I drank all waters and did not at all have any craving for alcohol. We got on the bus at the end, and everyone was just in party mode, with lights down and the colored lights going, and fun songs with bass playing. Everyone was letting loose and having a great time, and stupidly I figured that I already had that sip and "ruined" my sobriety, so I just had a whole drink of my own. I ended up having two, and it was a really fun time with everyone. I really don't think I needed the alcohol for it to have been that way, though.

I feel a bit of sinking disappointment knowing I should have and could have been stronger. I had a great day, and I didn't let having a drink take away from that, but in the same vein, I don't think the drinks really added to it, either.

I am happy with myself that I didn't go overboard, or even want to, and it felt like "social drinking" used to, just having a drink or two and enjoying the company of everyone. I did not feel the need to binge whatsoever, and I tried very hard to not mentally let the regret of lost sobriety hinder what was otherwise a great time.

Moving forward is the thing I am thinking about now. Today went fine, and the alcohol didn't negatively impact anything, but as so many can attest to, the slope can be either gradual or quick, but always slippery. I suppose the best course of action is to get back to sobriety and keep it, rather than carrying on in the hopes of continuing to drink socially/moderately.

I am just disappointed because I was at 25 days, nearly a month; things hadn't been great, but at least I had something consistent to be proud of. I don't know what I should be feeling now.

I am sorry that I let you all down. I am happy I'm not alone in fhis, but I feel like I must be weak for failing. Sigh.

CuteNGayYay

It's ok, white turtle. It's amazing u came here straight after before u even went to bed. Those 25 days aren't lost. Just get back on the horse. No thinking well it's the weekend I'll just start again Monday stuff. I only say that cuz I know how that's how my mind would think in the morning. Have a good sleep.

Scram

I'm sorry you had the little slip, whiteturtle. I mean it totally sucks, but I hope you don't discount the fact that you had put together 25 days before then. That's a significant amount of time - you know you have the ability to get down at least a month, and likely much, much more beyond that.

It sounds like you checked yourself pretty well and stopped at 2. It can either end here as a very minor slip up, or you can make the common mistake of saying "I think I can drink like the other people.." and that 's when things start to trainwreck.