SilentCinemaFan

It also helps that she told me she did a similar thing a long time ago when she was younger. She drank too much and completely went off on her mom and the next day was so embarrassed and apologized to her mom for her behavior. So she understood that it was a mistake. I told her she is very kind to be there for me when she could have easily not even bothered.

BadSneakers

Relapsed, so working on getting myself back on track. This time I am going to give NA a try. Hoping to hit a meeting tomorrow.

Eliasson

I guess today isn't Day 1 after all. I was emailing with someone from Smart Recovery and got the name of a substance abuse counselor. I made it an hour and a half past when I usually pour my first glass of wine. But I'm worried that my husband is mad at me and I opened a bottle and poured a glass. I'm halfway through it. Maybe tomorrow can be Day 1

CaseyW

Hope you'll pour the rest of that glass and bottle out, Eliasson. Drink some water, take a walk, take a long bath, go to a recovery meeting, watch a movie, do anything else but bury yourself in that bottle. There's a better way of life waiting for you and there's no better time than right now to start it. Wishing you the best, you're in my thoughts...

Tooshabby

Great you are back on track badsneakers :-)

Eliasson - I don't know about you, but I can't have alcohol in the house. We have had a friend staying with us for the last 3 months or so. She can moderate her drinking and has been buying wine all the time. It's been hopeless for me. We had to say sorry, it just can't be in the house at all. Obviously, it is your decision. But I know for me, it can't be around - too tempting. A strong indicator of a serious problem is the inability to resist, me thinketh.
Anyway, it's fantastic you are with us and don't beat yourself up for it. It's a learning curve. Onwards and upwards :-D

Olivia2011

Oh bummer Eliasson. Well you don't have to finish it. I try so hard not to let my husband, kids, aunts and such trigger me. It's hard! I'm stuffing my face with cheese popcorn, soda and a good book. Get back on that horse and ride! I hope your husband is supportive. Mine drinks yet he's supportive if I want to stop. He thinks I should moderate which is almost impossible for me. He needs to really cut back too (better yet... Quit). He drinks while working in the barn or garage and I hang in the house with no booze at the end of the day. It doesn't really even bother me that he drinks (most of the time). We are both concerned that if we retire we might drink ourselves to death. Seriously, this is keeping us working. We will have to find something much less stressful after we retire. How can you work so hard and still drink so much! I just don't know. Good luck E. Stop for the day and start tomorrow fresh.

forabetterlife

Eliasson , in my opinion, getting through day one is even harder with a hangover. It's still in your system, you body wants more , hair of the dog... Whatever the reason may be. I know my day one a few days ago wasn't as much of torture because I didn't go to bed drunk the night before. Just a thought to keep you from continuing to drink tonight ... We are here for you

Olivia2011

I agree with that. Stop so you don't have that hair if the dog feeling.

The main character in my book (mystery/suspense) is a prosecuting attorney and jn a serious mess. She just closed herself in her apt and is drinking wine! Yikes, her husband (cop) also wants to go get blasted with JB ! It's really a good book all of this aside. Allen Carr is correct tho. We've all been so brainwashed to think alcohol is ok. It's dam deadly. I'm feeling no urges as I've just got to give it up. Physical stuff starting. I want to see my grandchild grow up and stuff. I am going to take a walk tho. I've been reading for hours. Husband went to neighbors down the road. Turns out he's a heavy drinker. I really couldn't tell. He drinks out of a stainless cup with a lid. Never smelled anything. When my husband comes home I won't be able to tell he's had a few either. He doesn't get trashed like I do.

Casey, no work tonight?

Hang in there Eliasson. Don't feed the monster tonight.

Olivia

Tooshabby

Just caught up on posts :-)
I used to 'reward' myself after a day in the garden with a few bevvies too, or go mental cleaning, mowing, gardening, getting all sorts of stuff done that had got on top of us while I was half cut. Pretty dangerous, and have a few scars to prove it.
Bob - I called you 'sourgrapes' by mistake yesterday. What a doofus! Laughed at your 'searching for crazy drunken posts' anecdote. Don't know how often I've frantically tried to piece together conversations I apparently had while drunk from snippets I've got later.
Toki - those random "I can have a drink" thoughts scare me too. It's weird feeling at war with yourself. I hadn't heard people talk about the 'AV" (alcohol voice?) before coming on SR. It's handy to externalise that voice as 'something other' than me. Maybe that increases our sense of power and helps us dissociate from it. Here's hoping.
Hugs to everyone

BobBFree33

We'll be here tomorrow no matter what you do.

Finishing up week three tonight! I've been coming to the same timeshare for 21 years and in the last 15 I've never made it a week without drinking......until now. It was my super danger zone. Actually, i never made it a DAY before. Years ago they had blue laws, no alcohol sales on Sun. I brought my wine with me!

I'm 70 percent through the Allen Carr book. Some good stuff there. Actually, I have less self-hate reading this when I realize I bought the brainwashing hook line and sinker.

Dee74

Welcome JSBodhi and ckoures
welcome back Badsneakers!

some great advice here elliasson - just because you've started to dig a hole doesn't mean you have to make it 6 foot deep. Stop now, pour out the wine, and contact that counsellor, ok?

Have a great sober weekend everyone

D

DariaM

I used to totally bribe myself with booze... "Self, if you clean the house you can drink while you clean!" Me: "Deal!"

Tooshabby

lol Daria :-D

KaleGrrl

Hey, Eliasson, one of our Mayflowers, you can do this!

Olivia2011

Bob - wow that's great! Sober on vacation when you spent so many years at the same place in a different frame of mind. We've owned a lake house for eight years. I'm sitting here sober! Never dun that before!!! Quick weekend visit and back home again. Someday hope to spend more time here....and sober. Getting nearer to retirement and look around thinking I want to enjoy these years ....sober! Just took a walk to the pool. Really hot and humid ! Back home to read my book. Husband home and wants me to walk down to lake (right out back) and swim. Not a fan of water that I can't see bottom. Super clear lake but super high due to rain here earlier in the year. No idea why they are not letting out water. Some of our trees are sitting 6' under out there. Just grateful. Just grateful. Just grateful is all I want to say. Grateful to be sober today.

Tooshabby -scars from alcohol! I have some too. Earlier I was talking about Saran Wrap and Glad Wrap. I don't know if I clarified but these scars are self-inflicted booze scars. Pull off the Glad wrap and accidentally cut my thumb/hand area!

Back to my book!

Good evening (said like Dracula!). What show was that, The Adams Family? Loved that show!

Olivia

CuteNGayYay

Hello everyone! Wanted to join a class as it has helped me in the past. I also plan on really giving AA my all when I get back home. I've been in Florida visiting ppl for the past month (thinking I was gonna move) but addiction moves with u..and I need my immediate family and the last few good friends left in Cali's support. Plus some ppl I know in AA. Hopefully I'll be going back in the next few weeks and can stay sober until then. Day 2.

Dee74

Welcome back CAGY

D

Tooshabby

Nice to meet you CAGY :-)

CuteNGayYay

Dee!!!

hi Too Shabby!

forabetterlife

Welcome back cagy

The concept of the AV is extremely helpful to me as well. Now that I recognize it, there is such a clear distinction from the sober/focused/optimistic me from the addicted/I want this now/pessimistic me.
My av tells me I work too hard at things, that I'm an over achiever, that everyone drinks, that I deserve it, why be such a martyr? But guess what? My av is an idiot because the price I pay for listening to it is huge and it never delivers on what it promises.