toadie54

Welcome to our July 2015 class, Mary and Christimac!

HFA

As we wind out the month it's good to see it so active. I'm still here at day 27. To those of you still here, either stringing together days or having a day 1, stay strong and carry on. Hope to see you still in the July thread when we hit August. Not having to move to yet another month class is one of the things keeping me going.
....... Stay strong and sober on

Tooshabby

Sadie - I know you know this already but I will say it anyway. We care. Big time. Don't let setbacks bring you down anyone, and thanks so much for your honesty about it. It is a very generous thing to do. As has been said, we've all (probably) visited day one many times. It's normal behaviour for addicts - we're not crazy. Sending out positive, 'you can stay sober' vibes to you all.

Live2FAD

Good evening all... just putting in my daily 2 cents. Another 24 hours without poisoning my body. I'll take it and be grateful

Also, to the nice person that sent me a PM -- I will gladly reply to you directly in more detail once I have 5 posts. But, to briefly reply here: how I didn't drink for 6 months (and actually for a period of 6 years before that) is that I tried to find tools and adjust myself so that the pain of drinking was always greater than the pain of not drinking. The problem with that plan (or the simply beauty of it) is, when you stop working on it -- it stops working on you. No matter what route you choose for your sobriety, I have found in mine that it is only a daily reprieve.

The bottom line is, I'm here to make a better life for me and my loved ones. And a relapse isn't enough to make me quit on them or quit on me.

Thanks everyone for being here

tokidoki

Checking in.

Welcome new Julyers! We're happy to have you.

Just read through the last 24-hours of posts and,.. there seems to be some disturbance in the force. So many Julyers facing major struggles and/or relapses. I'm sorry for anyone who is in this position. Some very good comments and suggestions have been made already. I can only repeat what others have said. That is, we really do feel your pain (and in the case of relapse, it can soul-crushing indeed). We appreciate your honesty, are grateful you came right back and want to continue to cheer you on.

Can't believe only a few more days of July. I hope this class keeps going strong.

Please give that AV a hard time.

CuteNGayYay

Right now I feel so stick to my stomach. My cousin got home from work aNd we were supposed to go out on errands. (I take a shower and get ready and she is SLOSHED) she put her work outfit back on saying she has to go to work. I tell her it's 6pm not am. And she didn't believe me. Thankfully I found her keys and hid me and it took forever to convince her it's pm. My Uncle (her Dad) knows she has a problem lives next door and come thru the back (I saw him coming in through the window) and told her to hurry up and lie down to pretend she was sleeping. (Maybe I shouldn't have) she gets back up and still insists she has to go to work . She gets out a new bottle of vodka and starts guzzling. I told her to give it to me but she wouldn't. She put it down beside her on the bed and so I try to engaGe her in conversaTion etc to get her to pass out before she thinks about it again. It worked. I took it away..and now every so often she keeps calling for me but I'm ignoring her. I've never seen the other side to this degree and believe I was brought here to visit for this moment . I saved here from driving..she JUST had a dui. And I have this scared, sick feeling about it all. This disease it's so real to me now. I Just had to vent I've been sitting here in like silence. She is much older than me I don't feel it's my business to go over to my aunts to tell. How do I handle this when she sobers up? Do I say anything? The bottle wasn't empty but I emptied it and put it on top of the trash to make a statement of some sort. Maybe she'll think she drank all of that too. She obviously drank before that bottle. And she was this bad in pretty much an hour. Ugh. End rant.

CuteNGayYay

I saw him through the window. He didn't come through it. Lol sorry.

iPads are a joke to type on too

tokidoki

Wow CMGY,

Sorry you're having to deal with this. Your cousin sounds really bad off. I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you, (my family and friends don't have addictions, I'm the outlier) So for now, just hugs. I'm sure someone will come along soon with suggestions.

Tooshabby

Cripes. That sounds like one very serious accident waiting to happen. I would say something, personally, because it may be that she kills herself and/or someone else, which is not worth anyone's privacy or feigned dignity.

You're up for it CuteNGay xx

Dee74

I don't think that's something you can or should ignore CAGY.
Express your concerns.

She may be too deep in denial for it to do any good, but you have to try.

toadie54

In my IOP therapy session today in the process segment, there was a new to me woman who spoke of a recent relapse, some time in the hospital and now back to IOP...she spoke of anxiety, depression, regret, shame all playing on her mind.

The counselor knew she had attended AA meetings before, and suggested she find a meeting tonight if possible. She replied there was no way she could go tonight, the season finale of 'The Bachelorette' was on and she couldn't miss that.

It struck me odd that the TV show was her priority tonight...anyway...

I'm closing the door on day 25 tonight, still very determined that my alcohol addiction is history...no prisoners. no surrender (to my AV)!

to all here on SR!

BobBFree33

Welcome Bluebird, Mary2788, and christimac!

Amandaw I can empathize about inlaws, whew-wee! Like a tooth-ache that won’t go away. Seems like you ran into a storm of crappy things on lucky day 13. But tomorrow is day 14 and you won’t drink and things really will be better.

Congrats on day 6 fabl. Maybe try something different this week. Something out of the box. Take a little day trip. Change it up! Give yourself something to look forward to.

WT: No judge here, if anything, what you’ve described is so close to what I’ve been through I’d think you were family! AH the old wine bottle-hide-and-seek. What sucks is when you forget where you hid the empties. Maddening. You are in a pattern. Maybe avoidance of bars will work best now…I don’t know. Maybe work inside your pattern to change it up. Go the bar and NOT drink alcohol. I really don’t know, just an idea.

CuteNGay all you can do is tell her the truth as you see it. After that, you can’t FIX it. Only she can. This sounds cold but be careful not to fall too deep into her problems.

Whew, as tokidoki says, there is a disturbance in the force!

I had a stressful sober day 24 at work but kept the AV and cravings at bay. Actually got a stress headache which is very rare. It actually could be water in my ear too! That happens almost every year I go to the beach.

I sure can identify with the building pressure that seems like its just gonna blow if something does not change. For us, too often, we drink. But for those of us that have had some longer sobriety in the past try to remember that the pressure inevitably goes down all on its own and you reach a new equilibrium.

Actually, oddly enough, the simple passage of time brings the pressure down without having to do mental gymnastics to wrestle it into submission.

I, for one, am going to wait it out. I know it gets better.

KaleGrrl

Checking in, day 22. Trying to keep up by reading the last several posts. Lots of struggles here. It's difficult in the first month (and I've had many first months), but if we can push through, it does get easier.
In the early days, one thing I'd say to myself is: I will never have a day 1 again (I've had a ton of them), I'm done with day 1's and am so glad tomorrow will be day 2. And so on. I was so done with my infinite number of day 1's through day 10's (it was rare for me to go beyond day 10), and it felt great to say that as an affirmation.
CAGY, I've confronted family members with drinking problems in the past (when they sobered up), and I either tried to reason with them if they were older than me or got stern if they were younger. It didn't seem to help. But I told one of my friend's father that she was getting dangerously drunk every night in college. We were new freshmen; she would become a dare devil when drunk, and once nearly fell over railing of a high place that would've killed her. I told her I was going to call her dad if she kept doing it. I knew her parents well. He was a wonderful dad (mom, too), had her come home for the weekend and spoke with her. That made a big difference and amazingly she stopped (for good--she knew I would tell on her) but our friendship pretty much ended after that. She made other friends and stayed sober. It's a really tough situation. Your cousin has to want it herself, but sometimes what someone says can be a defining moment for another person.

CuteNGayYay

Thank u all! Have a great night!

SilentCinemaFan

I wanted to briefly check in here today. I'm too tired to post much of anything but I had a pretty productive today. I'm looking to rearrange my bedroom and buy a new desk. I should have the new desk sometime this weekend. Something nice to look forward to and I love redecorating and organizing my space. Keeps me focused and I'm happy for it.

I am too tired to comment on others but I'm glad we have newcomers and very supportive people on here.

CaseyW

So what's the plan? Are you already planning on drinking once the Antabuse is out of your system? Are you still going to therapy starting next month? What are you going to do when your husband does finally notice the pills are missing?

I hope you change your mind and put the pills back where your husband left them. Hiding the pills is the kind of decision your addiction would make. Embrace your recovery. It's a better way of life. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight, Amanda.

KeepingOn

KO checking in.

Some tough stuff going on out there! Keep your thumbs on the pulse of this group, and it'll help when your own gets weak....or so I've found.

'Nuther good, sober, day here. Haven't heard much from my AV for a couple of days. I know I hung up on it, but I doubt it'll pout very long, and will come back seeking attention. In the meantime, I'm enjoying the quiet.

G'night all!

KO

Time2Rise

Hello everyone.

I'd like to join the Class of July 2015. Today (7/27/15) is my 2nd day sober. However, because I'm a binge drinker, two days of sobriety is not a big accomplishment (I just drank after 74 days sober). Once, I have a three or four weeks under my belt, I'll feel a little more confident.

For now, I'd like to use this thread to keep me on the right track. I'm a person who is more comfortable and stress free when I have some structure in my life, and checking in here every day--if only to say hello--will help me greatly.

Thank you.

SandyO

Good afternoon,
I haven't been on here for a while for the obvious reason. I'm on day 3 again. I can't seem to stretch more than a few days together this month. It is remarkable how familiar our stories are. EVERYONE warned when you relapse you can get worse than before. If that was possible! Anyhow, I did.
I made it to 31 days a few weeks back. I was going great. Had a sober birthday party, resisted drinks in difficult situations, looked better, felt better, was proud of myself, my husband was proud, house was tidier, work was better etc etc. Then I just gave up. I don't know why but must work it out.
Then Saturday night came. I just completely lost control of myself. I was absolutely wasted. Embarrassingly so. I remember being at a bar, then waking up in bed the next day to concerned emails of whether I got home ok and THE message from hubby that we need to talk!
It turns out that I started crying at the bar, said I was going home and was taken to a taxi. then when i got home I went psycho for an hour throwing **** and calling my mother-in-law a bitch and i wished she would F@#K off out of our house. she was upstairs. Luckily, she can't understand English and I hope I was speaking English not Japanese. (although secretly i wish she would get the hint and move out!!)
I just feel that all my time on here, reading and really feeling that I must be sober went completely out of the window. How can I go from one extreme to the other in less than a month.
Ok, so that is now out of my system and I am on day 3 again and will be on day 4 tomorrow.
Sorry, but I have only skimmed over the recent posts. I'll do some more reading later. I just wanted to post while I had the time.
Sober living is hard, but drunken life is far worse. It is only a matter of time before something worse happens.
Take care everyone.

Dee74

Welcome & welcome back to both you guys

D