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Complexity of self trickery

Old 04-26-2015, 09:56 AM
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Complexity of self trickery

Hey SR. I had been doing so well for quite sometime. Circumstances were ideal for the perfect storm. Looking back I knew what I was going to do but I chose to ignore the severity of the signs. I was going to be without family this weekend and was scheduled to help a friend (a drinker) with a weekend construction project. I thought I was strong enough but looking back I knew what I was getting myself into. I won't go into details but you already know the outcome.

How easily one forgets why they hate drinking. I wasn't even going to post this and just pretend it didn't happen but it did and this is the one place where I need to be held accountable.

Just when I felt worthy of giving advice and helping others on here I went and blew it for myself. I had a way out of the situation but chose to put myself right in the middle of it. I'm not on the solid footing I thought I was on. I am resolved to move forward on the right path

Sorry or letting you all down. Thanks or listening and let me have it you feel the need.
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Old 04-26-2015, 10:10 AM
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You are worthy. You just shared your experience which others can relate to, and you are taking accountability and yout seem to notice the signs leading up to the drink. These are all good signs
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Old 04-26-2015, 10:31 AM
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I have been sober over 2 years and I almost bought into some trickery myself. Going back over it is the way to go.
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Old 04-26-2015, 01:13 PM
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People always apologize for 'letting us all down'.

We aren't let down.

You've let yourself down in one way - but in another you've simply taken a step that can be used as reinforcement that sobriety is the better way.

As for me - I'm grateful. Your story is helpings stay sober by reminding me why I choose sobriety and confirming that it doesn't get better.
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Old 04-26-2015, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie117926 View Post
Sorry or letting you all down. Thanks or listening and let me have it you feel the need.
You only let yourself down, and my guess is you're already beating yourself up plenty. Learn from the experience. The phrase "construction project" alone is enough for me to know. You set yourself up because you hadn't quite cut off the alcoholic attachment. Are you ready now to completely break the bond on your side -- knowing that all those chances and desires to reattach can prey on you at any time?

Oh &, you have been & still are completely worthy of sharing your experience (& strength and hope) with others here and outside the forums. As are we all.
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Old 04-26-2015, 02:18 PM
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Believe it or not Charlie you're still worthy of giving advice.

You just forgot you know what you know, or let yourself be persuaded/seduced you didn't.

pick yourself up dust yourself off and start all over again.
Tweak your plan - how can you help yourself remember what you know next time?.

D
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Old 04-26-2015, 02:21 PM
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Charlie, it's not hard to get caught by the AV. This disease can seem relentless at times. I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery again.
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Old 04-26-2015, 02:47 PM
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Recognising the AV is a very effective tool the second these thoughts happens counter them with sober positivity reach out get it off your chest & on the page

What is your current plan have you read this http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Heres a dicussion on AVRT

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-6-a.html
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Old 04-26-2015, 05:36 PM
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You've already received some fabulous feedback. I hope you take it to heart, dear friend. I do want to echo that you haven't let anyone down but you. Because you're human & honest you're the perfect person to give advice.

I tell you this all the time & believe it with all my heart: You're gonna beat this, Charlie. This was simply another battle - not the entire war. You know now the gear you were carrying wasn't enough. What will you use next time?

Hugs to you.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:45 PM
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Thanks everyone. Your words mean a lot. To "courage2" you hit the nail on the head (no pun intended). And yes I've been beating myself up (as I should).

I have been really good at avoiding situations which is a common theme of advice (very good advice) that i learned from you all, here. The easy thing to do would be to blame others or the situation (something I did for years) but I only have myself to blame.

But that was yesterday and after I get through the sickness and fog of today, I will press on. I want it too bad (sobriety) to give up.
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Old 04-26-2015, 07:03 PM
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Everyone makes mistakes. All that matters is we learn from them, which it sounds like you've done. Good job!
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Old 04-26-2015, 07:15 PM
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I'm not on the solid footing I thought I was on.

might be shocking to find that out, but what a great thing to know!
you can now find ways to solidify the footing/foundation.

great to hear you're resolved to figure out the right path for you and move forward on that one.
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Old 04-26-2015, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie117926 View Post
And yes I've been beating myself up (as I should).
Charlie - how would you treat someone else who had a slip up and drank? Would you beat them up? I'm pretty confident you'd treat them with kindness, compassion, respect and understanding for what they were going through while giving them encouragement to pick up and keep going. It's unhealthy to believe that you should beat yourself up. Approach yourself the same way you would someone else in the same situation. Treating yourself with dignity and respect doesn't need to minimize the seriousness of sobriety.
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