23 and an alcoholic...i want to be sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
23 and an alcoholic...i want to be sober.
Hi guys,
Ive never done this before but its time i admitted i really do have an alcohol problem and i know it needs to change while in still young enough. I change into a completely different person a person who i hate. I lie and manipulate just to get a ,'drink' and that's not me i know im strong and can beat it in doing loads of research on how to begin ive started a journal and bought loads of books. But the funny thing is not only am i suffering with this, well i say suffering i was the stupid one that got addicted i also had bulimia (but i have recently beat this and feel amazing and proud)which i got through being diagnosed with gastroparesis when i was 17 at first it was the gastroparesis then it led in to an eating disorder, i was young being thin was the in thing i suppose plus the anxiety of my food passing through drove me mad. So i suppose i drank at first to take away all these feelings but i couldn't just have one or two it would lead to complete binges or atleast two bottles of wine a night. I desperately want to change but i feel alone in this. Would be good to hear from someone, MJ x
Ive never done this before but its time i admitted i really do have an alcohol problem and i know it needs to change while in still young enough. I change into a completely different person a person who i hate. I lie and manipulate just to get a ,'drink' and that's not me i know im strong and can beat it in doing loads of research on how to begin ive started a journal and bought loads of books. But the funny thing is not only am i suffering with this, well i say suffering i was the stupid one that got addicted i also had bulimia (but i have recently beat this and feel amazing and proud)which i got through being diagnosed with gastroparesis when i was 17 at first it was the gastroparesis then it led in to an eating disorder, i was young being thin was the in thing i suppose plus the anxiety of my food passing through drove me mad. So i suppose i drank at first to take away all these feelings but i couldn't just have one or two it would lead to complete binges or atleast two bottles of wine a night. I desperately want to change but i feel alone in this. Would be good to hear from someone, MJ x
Last edited by MJane91; 04-19-2015 at 12:52 AM. Reason: spelt wrong
Hi and welcome MJane
Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page
I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here
It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.
There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down
D
Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page
I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here
It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.
There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down
D
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Hi mj
Welcome! I'm 27 years old and it's never too early or late to get sober. I'm sorry that you've had health problems and congratulations on dealing with the bulimia :-)
I really recommend having a plan of how you're going to move forward. I go to AA meetings and community addiction centre. They both help me a lot.
Like you I have a lot of books on addiction and I write everyday, but I do like being part of a community too whether it's face to face or right here.
Welcome and read widely, there's amazing advice here!
Welcome! I'm 27 years old and it's never too early or late to get sober. I'm sorry that you've had health problems and congratulations on dealing with the bulimia :-)
I really recommend having a plan of how you're going to move forward. I go to AA meetings and community addiction centre. They both help me a lot.
Like you I have a lot of books on addiction and I write everyday, but I do like being part of a community too whether it's face to face or right here.
Welcome and read widely, there's amazing advice here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
Hi,
Thank you for your reply.
I know i have the will power to do it and i so want to achieve sobriety, its hard at the moment i still cant get my head around how i became an alcoholic, but i keep saying to myself its doesn't matter how you became addicted you are addicted and its time to fight.
Also my brain keeps telling me i want to drink when actually i really don't want to...?! Its mad.
And i kind of feel embarrassed that i wont be able to socially drink anymore but i no even one isant an option for me. Researching has helped me alot like cognitive behaviours etc and how your brain will re educate itself i suppose i just have to give it time....
MJ x
Thank you for your reply.
I know i have the will power to do it and i so want to achieve sobriety, its hard at the moment i still cant get my head around how i became an alcoholic, but i keep saying to myself its doesn't matter how you became addicted you are addicted and its time to fight.
Also my brain keeps telling me i want to drink when actually i really don't want to...?! Its mad.
And i kind of feel embarrassed that i wont be able to socially drink anymore but i no even one isant an option for me. Researching has helped me alot like cognitive behaviours etc and how your brain will re educate itself i suppose i just have to give it time....
MJ x
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
Hi, Thank you for your reply. I know i have the will power to do it and i so want to achieve sobriety, its hard at the moment i still cant get my head around how i became an alcoholic, but i keep saying to myself its doesn't matter how you became addicted you are addicted and its time to fight. Also my brain keeps telling me i want to drink when actually i really don't want to...?! Its mad. And i kind of feel embarrassed that i wont be able to socially drink anymore but i no even one isant an option for me. Researching has helped me alot like cognitive behaviours etc and how your brain will re educate itself i suppose i just have to give it time.... MJ x
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
I like to write about them. Yesterday I got my shoes on, cash in my pocket all ready to go to the shop for wine. I ended up writing a load of rubbish for 15 minutes and the urge passed. You'll find what works for you :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
That makes alot of sense, its like an intense thought and usually i act on it drink it and don't think of the consequences and guilt until afterwards. Writing in a book should help to pass the craving, i find breathing and relaxing helps me to
Guest
Join Date: May 2014
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,086
For sure that's a good idea! I usually get on my yoga mat, put some music on and just get moving. Paying attention to my body makes me less likely to poison it :-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
That's exactly what it's like for me! I also get the "I don't have a problem" and "it'll be different tomorrow" voice.
For sure that's a good idea! I usually get on my yoga mat, put some music on and just get moving. Paying attention to my body makes me less likely to poison it :-)
For sure that's a good idea! I usually get on my yoga mat, put some music on and just get moving. Paying attention to my body makes me less likely to poison it :-)
that what i found to although i had bulimia im naturally quite slum and never had a weight problem if anything the tonns of alcohol and binges made things worse, now i eat really healthy and do zumba almost every day and the results im seeing make me motivated to carry on !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
wow, it is weird for some reason i always assumed not alot of people my age would have the same problem but it makes me feel happy to no there is a great support network like this to help thank you sweet. Im glad your here to.
I've been in AA for the last year, and must admit that I was initially surprised by how many ladies I've met who also had issues around food. Now I understand a bit more of the emotional stuff surrounding alcoholism I'm less surprised. (Funnily enough - I was actually listening to a lady speaker talking about her alcoholism and eating disorders last night - bet I won't be able to find it again.)
Anyway - welcome to SR. There is a wealth of support and information on this forum. Good luck. xx
Anyway - welcome to SR. There is a wealth of support and information on this forum. Good luck. xx
Haha - just realised there's a 'history' thing on youtube so it was easy to find. It's a lady called Ella J - the sound quality is a bit bad though (although that could have something to do with my hearing aids?)
Anyway - just in case you fancy having a listen to get motivated...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yx3mL6BFkk
Anyway - just in case you fancy having a listen to get motivated...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yx3mL6BFkk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
I've been in AA for the last year, and must admit that I was initially surprised by how many ladies I've met who also had issues around food. Now I understand a bit more of the emotional stuff surrounding alcoholism I'm less surprised. (Funnily enough - I was actually listening to a lady speaker talking about her alcoholism and eating disorders last night - bet I won't be able to find it again.)
Anyway - welcome to SR. There is a wealth of support and information on this forum. Good luck. xx
Anyway - welcome to SR. There is a wealth of support and information on this forum. Good luck. xx
Thank you x.x.
Hi and welcome MJane
Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page
I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here
It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.
There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down
D
Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page
I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here
It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.
There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down
D
Hi guys, Ive never done this before but its time i admitted i really do have an alcohol problem and i know it needs to change while in still young enough. I change into a completely different person a person who i hate. I lie and manipulate just to get a ,'drink' and that's not me i know im strong and can beat it in doing loads of research on how to begin ive started a journal and bought loads of books. But the funny thing is not only am i suffering with this, well i say suffering i was the stupid one that got addicted i also had bulimia (but i have recently beat this and feel amazing and proud)which i got through being diagnosed with gastroparesis when i was 17 at first it was the gastroparesis then it led in to an eating disorder, i was young being thin was the in thing i suppose plus the anxiety of my food passing through drove me mad. So i suppose i drank at first to take away all these feelings but i couldn't just have one or two it would lead to complete binges or atleast two bottles of wine a night. I desperately want to change but i feel alone in this. Would be good to hear from someone, MJ x
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