Hi and welcome MJane
Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page
I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here
It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.
There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down
D