23 and an alcoholic...i want to be sober.
 

Hi guys,

Ive never done this before but its time i admitted i really do have an alcohol problem and i know it needs to change while in still young enough. I change into a completely different person a person who i hate. I lie and manipulate just to get a ,'drink' and that's not me i know im strong and can beat it in doing loads of research on how to begin ive started a journal and bought loads of books. But the funny thing is not only am i suffering with this, well i say suffering i was the stupid one that got addicted i also had bulimia (but i have recently beat this and feel amazing and proud)which i got through being diagnosed with gastroparesis when i was 17 at first it was the gastroparesis then it led in to an eating disorder, i was young being thin was the in thing i suppose plus the anxiety of my food passing through drove me mad. So i suppose i drank at first to take away all these feelings but i couldn't just have one or two it would lead to complete binges or atleast two bottles of wine a night. I desperately want to change but i feel alone in this. Would be good to hear from someone, MJ x

Hi and welcome MJane :)

Not sure if you were looking for the chat room - you'll find the chat portal at the top right of every page :)

I moved your post here to Newcomers forum...you'll find a lot of response and help here :)

It's very important to remember you're not stupid - you're addicted. The two are not the same.

There is life after addiction, and you'll find a lot of encouragement here to put the bottle down and keep it down :)

D

Hi mj

Welcome! I'm 27 years old and it's never too early or late to get sober. I'm sorry that you've had health problems and congratulations on dealing with the bulimia :-)

I really recommend having a plan of how you're going to move forward. I go to AA meetings and community addiction centre. They both help me a lot.

Like you I have a lot of books on addiction and I write everyday, but I do like being part of a community too whether it's face to face or right here.

Welcome and read widely, there's amazing advice here!

Hi,

Thank you for your reply.
I know i have the will power to do it and i so want to achieve sobriety, its hard at the moment i still cant get my head around how i became an alcoholic, but i keep saying to myself its doesn't matter how you became addicted you are addicted and its time to fight.

Also my brain keeps telling me i want to drink when actually i really don't want to...?! Its mad.

And i kind of feel embarrassed that i wont be able to socially drink anymore but i no even one isant an option for me. Researching has helped me alot like cognitive behaviours etc and how your brain will re educate itself i suppose i just have to give it time....

MJ x

That's totally normal. That alcoholic voice is really annoying and will resort to any measures to get you back into those old habits.

Im realising that now, i thought it was just me going mad. Thank you, i think the best thing for me to do is block the thoughts and fight through.

I like to write about them. Yesterday I got my shoes on, cash in my pocket all ready to go to the shop for wine. I ended up writing a load of rubbish for 15 minutes and the urge passed. You'll find what works for you :-)

That makes alot of sense, its like an intense thought and usually i act on it drink it and don't think of the consequences and guilt until afterwards. Writing in a book should help to pass the craving, :) i find breathing and relaxing helps me to ��

That's exactly what it's like for me! I also get the "I don't have a problem" and "it'll be different tomorrow" voice.

For sure that's a good idea! I usually get on my yoga mat, put some music on and just get moving. Paying attention to my body makes me less likely to poison it :-)

Hi there
I'm just a year older than you, and relate to a lot of what you said
Glad you're here, you'll get lots of support :)

Ahh that voice is so annoying 'i don't have a problem' then im thinking about a glass of wine. Ive just read some really interesting stuff called misleading, deception and lying. Its the alcoholic in us telling us there isant a problem because actually all its doing is lying misleading us to go and drink, instead in learning to speak back the truth ��

that what i found to although i had bulimia im naturally quite slum and never had a weight problem if anything the tonns of alcohol and binges made things worse, now i eat really healthy and do zumba almost every day and the results im seeing make me motivated to carry on !

wow, it is weird for some reason i always assumed not alot of people my age would have the same problem but it makes me feel happy to no there is a great support network like this to help :) thank you sweet. Im glad your here to.

Slim*

I've been in AA for the last year, and must admit that I was initially surprised by how many ladies I've met who also had issues around food. Now I understand a bit more of the emotional stuff surrounding alcoholism I'm less surprised. (Funnily enough - I was actually listening to a lady speaker talking about her alcoholism and eating disorders last night - bet I won't be able to find it again.)

Anyway - welcome to SR. There is a wealth of support and information on this forum. Good luck. :) xx

Haha - just realised there's a 'history' thing on youtube so it was easy to find. It's a lady called Ella J - the sound quality is a bit bad though (although that could have something to do with my hearing aids?)
Anyway - just in case you fancy having a listen to get motivated...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yx3mL6BFkk

Well I did try and look online to see if there was a link between eating disorders and alcoholism but I didn't have much luck. But its nice to know there are a lot of other woman out there that can understand and support me. My story is abit weird though I didn't develop an eating disorder from the start I had a dodgy operation which caused gastroparesis and I lost lots of weight and couldn't keep food down however my brain twisted being 'sick' into being slim which now I know is mental!! Im a lot happier now I eat and keep fit. But then I suffered a lot with anxiety and OCD because of this which ultimately I turned to alcohol without realising it because I liked that relaxed feeling you get like you don't have a care in the world until the next day you wake up and regret it EVERY TIME !! lol But I now know staying sober is the key for my recovery in everything, sorry for the rant im just so happy there is this type of support and other people I can relate to :)

Thank you x.x.

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Welcome to the Forum MJane!! :wave:

Hello Everyone and thank you for the warm welcome its made me feel so happy and positive today :tyou

Hey, I'm also 23 and an alcoholic. Being sober at our age has its own set of difficulties. If you want to chat sometime feel free to msg me.