MarathonMan

Been on an 8 week bender. My wife told me this morning ive got to quit. I told her i need ro taper as was getting physical withdrawl last time. She said i can do my taper but the next drink past my lips after that and she is divorcing me and taking our baby with her.

I'm so sad and broken and still not sure i can do it, inhonestly think im going to end up loosing my family over this yet im still desperate to get home and drink even as part of a taper.

I would give the world for a do over, if i could have my time again things would be so different.

Booked in to see an addiction councilor but not sure i have the heart for it any more. Maybe will be best if she gets the baby away from me, the least i could do is save him from a life of having me as a dad.

I cant believe that once upon a time i had hopes and dreams and it ended up like this.

MarathonMan

Just read my post, ive not been drinking just typed this on my phone and the keyboard is horrible, thats the reason for all the typo's.

nymets86

MM, sorry to hear you are in this situation. You need to ha g on to that hope though. You can improve your life. Meet with that addiction counsellor and meet with a doctor and make a plan to get and stay sober.

Your son's life will undoubtedly be better by having you as a sober father in it

Nonsensical

1. Your son doesn't deserve your least, he deserves your most.

2. It ain't ended yet. Stop believing the bull **** lies your addicted mind is telling you and get better.

Change is possible. Hope is reasonable.

You can do this.

Marcher13

You married a good woman MM, she is giving you an option to remain as her husband but she's also made it clear that the baby is going to get the best chance at life.

I'd suggest you and your wife both meet with the addiction cousellor -- tomorrow if possible.

IOAA2

Hi.
Unfortunately being addicted to alcohol and facing the losses we face we still listen to our AV.

I was faced with what you are +.

I immersed my self into many AA meetings and followed the program even when I didn’t want to. Many years later I’m still at point of being comfortable in my own skin.

It’s been proven to me over the years that continued drinking WILL bring me to an institution, imprisonment, dead or living as miserable alcoholic instead of a content one.

Alcoholism is progressive and will never get better while we continue to drink.

BE WELL

SoberJohn

Sounds like the AV is bargaining with you and it sounds like you are contemplating giving up your loved ones for a destructive short life of drinking. Sounds like you are getting screwed in that deal Marathon Man.

Serenidad

Glad to see you back MM. Sorry you are struggling. What about checking into treatment for a while? I've never known an alcoholic to be successful by "tapering". Maybe there are a "few" out there...I've just never heard of that because alcoholics don't have an "off switch". Once we have alcohol in our bodies we develop the phenomenon of craving and can't stop. Obviously you wouldn't want to quit cold turkey because of DT's but what about a detox in a hospital or treatment center?

Praying for you! (((Hug)))

Dee74

I remember beating myself up pretty bad after a bender too.

Fact is your wife is betting on you - she's giving you the chance to show her (and yourself) that you're the man she knows you are.

This is not a time for retreat or defeatism or self-pity.

It's time for action MM - you can do this

D

Serenidad

I just prayed for you MM & will continue to...

MarathonMan

Thanks serindad, i'm not a big prayer, it would be nice to have faith though. When i said tapering i didnt mean long term just over the next 4-5 days so its less of a body shock once i stop completely. With the volume ive been drinking stopping dead worries me.

Hawkeye13

Yes--you are being given a chance, not denied one MM.

You want a life, or to be a drunk?
You created a life, and you were wise in choice of whom you created it with.
She is right to put the baby first.

I remember facing the same choice about quit or bust, and finally saying
whatever it takes, I'll do. I'm done with booze.

doggonecarl

You wife has given you an ultimatum. You need to take action. I am with Serenidad. Seek detox and rehab and get sober. If this taper fails, you could lose her, and your child.

Foolsgold186

You can do it MarathonMan!

Thinking of you.

L x

heartcore

Don't give up! Please don't give up!

All your do-overs are done. This is that pivotal fork in the path.

Take a deep breath and turn with your whole being down the road of power.

There is so much at stake, and some things once lost cannot be recovered.

MarathonMan

Hi heart, hope you're well.

I know what you mean about not giving up etc but i've had so many day ones they hold no meaning any more. I think my wife is going to leave and I can hardly even feel any emotion over it. I told her i'll quit but it was so half hearted I'm not sure either of us believed it.

MarathonMan

Hi heart, hope you're well.

I know what you mean about not giving up etc but i've had so many day ones they hold no meaning any more. I think my wife is going to leave and I can hardly even feel any emotion over it. I told her i'll quit but it was so half hearted I'm not sure either of us believed it.

Gonnachange

The fact is you've been given an opportunity. Take advantage of it.

What I'm going to suggest isn't the total answer, but hopefully will be a little helpful. How about signing up for another marathon or even a half? Knowing you have a training run tomorrow may help at the margin with putting your AV in its place today.

biminiblue

1. Pray anyway.

2. As a child of divorce, let me say that it took until I was 40 and my father had been dead for 24 years before I forgave him. I am very sad for your child - you could be dooming him to the same fate. Very very sad.

Pick your self up. You had a lot of sober time and chose to throw it away.

Man up. This isn't a game.

We don't get do-overs. Make it right.

GracieLou

This is BS. That is your alcoholism talking. It does not want you to try and save your marriage or remain with your child. It wants you in a dark room with the curtains drawn, bottle in hand.

You can’t do it over. You can’t go back, you can only go forward and you my friend are the only person that can decide to do that and to see things through.

You can’t get sober for your wife. You can’t get sober for your kid. If you want to keep those people you have to get sober because you want to get sober. Are you desperate enough yet?

Do you want help? If so then get your butt to an AA meeting and get to that appointment with an addiction counselor.

Or you can lose everything and fall further down the hole. You have a choice.