last chance
love is the answer
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,352
Originally Posted by MarathonMan 
Day 12 - feeling pretty positive today, had a pretty constructive coversation with my wife earlier. I asked her to hold off for a month with divorce papers and give me a chance to prove that this could be our beginning and not our ending. She didnt commit to that but she also didnt tell me to sod off. Maybe ive got a chance to allow my actions to speak. I also told her to move back into the house and I'll go and stay elsewhere which I think she appreciates. Shes bringing the baby round later and then im officially of no fixed abode for the time being at least.
Went and did my first run of my new sober career about an hour ago. Managed 8 miles in a 7.35 pace with two brief stops. Used to do my normal runs about 45 seconds a mile faster with no breaks. Instead of that making me feel down it kind of felt good to know I can now get stuck in and start improving again.
Nothing is fixed so far but things are feeling a bit better,mor maybe the initial despair is starting to lift, either way I don't care things are better than they were yesterday.
Went and did my first run of my new sober career about an hour ago. Managed 8 miles in a 7.35 pace with two brief stops. Used to do my normal runs about 45 seconds a mile faster with no breaks. Instead of that making me feel down it kind of felt good to know I can now get stuck in and start improving again.
Nothing is fixed so far but things are feeling a bit better,mor maybe the initial despair is starting to lift, either way I don't care things are better than they were yesterday.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Originally Posted by mystified
You sound so much more positive and that's good to hear.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by MarathonMan
Nothing has really changed but the few days sober has allowed me to get out of my own head a bit.....also im a true runner so when i've been out and done an hour my whole perspective on life is much better...maybe its the endorphins or just the high from feeling im re claiming an old friend ive really missed.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
I know that feeling MM. Maybe you should come out here to SA and try our comrades marathon one year. 92km of murderous ups and downs. It is the most grueling road race in the world by far.
I always wanted to do marathon de sables in the sahara, 6 marathons in 6 days through the desert. London marathon will be sad for me sunday after next as I had a place but gave up training as couldnt run on the hangover......had to get my priorities rignt
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by MarathonMan
Yeah ive heard of comrades, its the one where they run it one way one year and then ba the next year. Probably a bit far for me currently though I always wanted to do marathon de sables in the sahara, 6 marathons in 6 days through the desert. London marathon will be sad for me sunday after next as I had a place but gave up training as couldnt run on the hangover......had to get my priorities rignt 
I always wanted to do marathon de sables in the sahara, 6 marathons in 6 days through the desert. London marathon will be sad for me sunday after next as I had a place but gave up training as couldnt run on the hangover......had to get my priorities rignt Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 452
MarathonMan, I was in your (running) shoes 469 days ago. I made three commitments to myself: (1) never drink again, (2) see an addiction counselor, and (3) run. I committed to do this one day at a time (to be honest, in the beginning it was more like one heartbeat at a time). I haven't had a drink in 469 days. I still see my counselor weekly. I run 5-6 days a week.
Running has been my lifeline and foundation for my recovery. It has also been a perfect metaphor for my recovery. In the beginning when my recovery was rocky, running was hard and I felt uneasy. As I gained my footing in my recovery, my running endurance got much better. You're a runner. You know the benefits of running. Something that seems all-consuming can be easily handled after a run.
Send me a Private Message if you feel the need. My door's always open.
This book was a big help for me too:
Out There: A Story of Ultra Recovery: David Clark, Marshall Ulrich: 9781499721195: Amazon.com: Books
Running has been my lifeline and foundation for my recovery. It has also been a perfect metaphor for my recovery. In the beginning when my recovery was rocky, running was hard and I felt uneasy. As I gained my footing in my recovery, my running endurance got much better. You're a runner. You know the benefits of running. Something that seems all-consuming can be easily handled after a run.
Send me a Private Message if you feel the need. My door's always open.
This book was a big help for me too:
Out There: A Story of Ultra Recovery: David Clark, Marshall Ulrich: 9781499721195: Amazon.com: Books
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Originally Posted by Ethos23
MarathonMan, I was in your (running) shoes 469 days ago. I made three commitments to myself: (1) never drink again, (2) see an addiction counselor, and (3) run. I committed to do this one day at a time (to be honest, in the beginning it was more like one heartbeat at a time). I haven't had a drink in 469 days. I still see my counselor weekly. I run 5-6 days a week. Running has been my lifeline and foundation for my recovery. It has also been a perfect metaphor for my recovery. In the beginning when my recovery was rocky, running was hard and I felt uneasy. As I gained my footing in my recovery, my running endurance got much better. You're a runner. You know the benefits of running. Something that seems all-consuming can be easily handled after a run. Send me a Private Message if you feel the need. My door's always open. This book was a big help for me too: Out There: A Story of Ultra Recovery: David Clark, Marshall Ulrich: 9781499721195: Amazon.com: Books
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 452
You chaps should have a look at Tim Noaks' Lore of running. It is the running bible here in SA. From the lowly 10k to the mighty comrades. He covers it all. Too much to mention, but it covers everything and more that you will ever want to know about running.[/QUOTE]
I will check out that book. Thanks for the heads up. Running and endurance sports are such a gift. I've ran two ultra marathons since getting sober. The worst day out there running is 100 times better than my best day drinking. Thats for sure.
I will check out that book. Thanks for the heads up. Running and endurance sports are such a gift. I've ran two ultra marathons since getting sober. The worst day out there running is 100 times better than my best day drinking. Thats for sure.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Ethos- thanks for the link ive also just bought the book and will hopefully give it a read tomorrow. Inspirational stuff with the 469 days. I remember when running was my life and I didnt need booze, had 2.5 years sober a few years ago when I first started running. Hopefully I can get back to it now. You never know I could even be in good enough shape for an autumn marathon.
Dab -i'll check out the Tim Noaks book too, anything currently that can get my inspirational juices flowing has got to be a good thing.
Dab -i'll check out the Tim Noaks book too, anything currently that can get my inspirational juices flowing has got to be a good thing.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Originally Posted by Ethos23
You chaps should have a look at Tim Noaks' Lore of running. It is the running bible here in SA. From the lowly 10k to the mighty comrades. He covers it all. Too much to mention, but it covers everything and more that you will ever want to know about running.
Amen to that!!
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Day 15 today so made it a full two weeks. I've stopped breaking out into sweats now which is good as that was the last of my real physical symptoms. Still feel a bit foggy at times but don't really count that. Im currently craving sugar a lot but am totally abstaining as ive read to give into the sugar cravings prolongs the over all process. Instead im eating loads of veg....not much of a trade off but who cares. Im drinking a ton of water and have been running some. Just got in from 12 miles and havent felt so tired but content in a long time. The aching, tired satisfaction of hard running is one of my favourite feelings in the world.
In other news I went for breakfast with my wife yesterday morning to talk and see my son for an hour. We talked for a while and she said she had read that through private companies you can be tested for alcohol through a urine test. Shev said she'd be willing to come back if id agree to do one every week. To this I said no, not sure if I was right or wrong to do that but I dont want to live like that. I never hid my drinking from her which I told her, I also said I wanted her home but couldnt feel like a prisoner on probation in my own home. She said I couldnt be trusted so I suggested we go on Jeremy Kyle (was joking). The conversation went a bit cold then and we parted ways without talking much more. Maybe my humour was poorly timed.
In other news I went for breakfast with my wife yesterday morning to talk and see my son for an hour. We talked for a while and she said she had read that through private companies you can be tested for alcohol through a urine test. Shev said she'd be willing to come back if id agree to do one every week. To this I said no, not sure if I was right or wrong to do that but I dont want to live like that. I never hid my drinking from her which I told her, I also said I wanted her home but couldnt feel like a prisoner on probation in my own home. She said I couldnt be trusted so I suggested we go on Jeremy Kyle (was joking). The conversation went a bit cold then and we parted ways without talking much more. Maybe my humour was poorly timed.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
If it were me, the weekly urine tests would probably trigger a relapse - the constant reminders of alcohol. Also, I bet I would find a way to get around those tests if I really wanted to. Alcoholics will figure out a way to get drunk if that's what they want to do.
I just popped in to say congratulations. You are in your third week of sobriety. Great job, MM. You sound so much happier.
I just popped in to say congratulations. You are in your third week of sobriety. Great job, MM. You sound so much happier.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,707
I've been sober long enough now to understand what might drive your wife to ask for urine tests...but I wouldn't do it either.
It may take a little while to rebuild trust but people will MM. If you be the man you want to be, people will respond to that.
D
It may take a little while to rebuild trust but people will MM. If you be the man you want to be, people will respond to that.
D
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Hi all,
Thanks for the responses, was worried i was being unreasonable but not seeing it. I said pretty much was you guys said. We have to have trust, i know we've not got it yet but i'm happy to work on that and prove that i have changed/am changing.
I've spoken to her this morning and she was happy to chat for 10 minutes so dont think my refusal has caused too much damage.
Thanks for the responses, was worried i was being unreasonable but not seeing it. I said pretty much was you guys said. We have to have trust, i know we've not got it yet but i'm happy to work on that and prove that i have changed/am changing.
I've spoken to her this morning and she was happy to chat for 10 minutes so dont think my refusal has caused too much damage.
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