hadmyshare

What should I say except that I relapsed.
Drank.
Day 1 check in.

I feel devastated.

Dee74

Did the work function get you, or was it something else?

I understand the feeling hadmyshare but you can turn this into a positive. Look at what went wrong - what could you have done better?

D

Delilah1

You relapsed, and came right back here, you can start fresh, and learn from what didn't work. I think we have all learned a great deal from our mistakes.

Berrybean

Yep.

Today you have a choice. You can sit and dwell on the fact that you drank. Or you can think about your recovery plan and what you can change in the future so that it won't happen again.

I know it was after about a month going it alone that for me, things started feeling really crazy emotionally. I felt really raw and numb at the same time (I know that doesn't sound like it makes sense - like I said - it was a crazy time) and I had the worst washing machine head ever. That's when I finally needed to get some support (face to face) as well as online, and went along to my first AA meetings.

For other people I know, they've got past a month and that little AV has whispered to them "See! You're not an alcoholic. You can have a drink now!" and they fell for those lies.

If you tell us what you think tripped you up, I'm sure they'll be someone on here who's done / felt the same and can offer some suggestions.

hadmyshare

It was the (a) work function that got me.

The good thing is that usually I start drinking right away after. I still have resolve to stop drinking.

So this will be a day 2 check in.

I need to come up with a strategy for this type of situation. I realize now I'm wholly unprepared.

Tang

Work functions are my biggest trip/trigger. I feel such immense pressure to drink at those. I've had people force drinks into my hand. Now I really on medical excuses.

Berrybean

Realising that you need a strategy is such a learning curve - and can stand you in good stead for other potential challenges.

Do you HAVE to go to them (for now)? Even 15 months into sobriety, unless it's something completely unavoidable, I go by my 'If in doubt, leave it out' rule.

Sometimes I'm happy and comfortable there for the first few hours (when everyone else is sober / sane / capable of a reasonable conversation) then I know I'll want to go. At first I used to make up excuses for leaving early, but now I just go. Nobody tends to notice (or care). I just make sure my coat is in the car so I can 'pop out' and just not come back.

I've also started to notice that not everyone is drinking - those people were off my radar before.

What is it about the work do's that make it tough for you? Maybe someone can help devise some strategies.

hadmyshare

This one was tough because it is a new job and it was hard to avoid. I'm sure I can make excuses to miss the next one or at least leave early. I like the pop out technique.

This essentially doubles as a day 3 check in.
I'm not stupid enough this time to fall into the 'its okay to drink again trap"

Dee74

Looks to me like you didn't really have a plan - would that be fair to say hadmyshare?

D

hadmyshare

Dee: I had/have a plan for most basic situations. But I did not foresee the work situations for how dangerous they could be (in terms of pressure). I am working towards a new strategy for this.

Day 3 still checked in.

Dee74

This really is a one stop shop for plans, had - especially check out the SAMHSA link near the bottom of the thread.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

hadmyshare

Forgot to check in yesterday so this is day 4, day 5.
Will check out link.

hadmyshare

Day 6

hadmyshare

Day 7

hadmyshare

I forgot to update because I went up north for this weekend. Still doing well. Been tempted by the drink demons... Crafting a dynamic plan. I have a business trip coming up and I am a bit worried about that, to be honest.

biminiblue

There have been a lot of discussions about work trips and how to stay sober.

What are your concerns, and how can you plan ahead for sidestepping triggers?

Saying, "No thanks." should be all that is necessary if people offer you a drink. No reasons are needed. If they press, "I'm not drinking anymore," or, "I don't drink." or "Not tonight."

If the hotel room is a trigger, have the hotel empty the mini-bar before you check in.

If there are cocktail parties, you don't have to go or you could go and have a few bites of appetizers and slip out.

Berrybean

I'm unlikely to have to go away for a work weekend like that (thankfully), but this is what I did when I went away for a hen weekend to Berlin:


I took my laptop with me so I could e-mail my AA sponsor; check in on here frequently; and listen to AA speaks on You Tube

I also to my little mp3 player with some AA speakers on it in case I had problems with the internet connection.

I took my Kindle with my favourite authors n there, as well as some good non-fiction books about staying sober (Monkey on My Shoulder, and Living Sober as well as the AA Big Book and 12&12).

I did take the list of AA meetings, but as I was a bit scared of getting lost in the city and not able to speak German to try to find them I didn't attend any, but would have done so if I'd been there any longer than the weekend. If it was in the UK I'd def have gone to one.

I spoke to the closer friends about it before I went so they understood why I might need to come back early - may not be possible in your situation though

I only stayed to the end of the evening if I felt happy and comfortable - strangely enough, as soon as I said I was thinking of heading back then each time at least two others asked if I minded them coming with me as they'd also had enough (lightweights eh!! Haha)

I had short 'breaks' throughout the evening - popping to the shop or going to make a call home etc. to get away briefly and refocus. Maybe check out what is in the area before you go - hopefully there will be a coffee shop or somewhere you can abscond to for a break if needs be.

Good luck on your work weekend. Please protect your sobriety.

hadmyshare

One.

Coldfusion

Well, welcome back! Being here is a good sign. What else are you doing for your sobriety?

hadmyshare

Hard to stay sober. Although I've not been dry, this time around I seem to have been able to avoid the heavy binge drinking.

But for how long? So I think I'm best if I don't drink. I keep going about 3 days - 2 weeks then falling down.

I'm going to try again this week as I have a unique opportunity.