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told by MD I couldn't just stop cold turkey

Old 03-30-2010, 05:14 AM
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told by MD I couldn't just stop cold turkey

Hello again, Ya'll!!

I went to see my GP yesterday to get my liver checked, (plus he ran a couple of other tests when I told him I had relapsed and was just off a week long binge), and he told me it would not be safe for me to just stop cold turkey, especially with my new seizure history. Unfortunately, I drank a six-pack of beer and started to puke after the last beer. I felt like $hiiiite and still do, (the ol' stomach lets me know she's there almost very day now....). I had such BIG hopes for stoppping cold turkey....but now I am unsure how to "cut back" without causing a seizure, (sometimes I think GP's are useless except to say, "Hmmmmm....I'm not sure what's causing that (insert symptom)!!). I know I MUST stop, even if my tests all come back normal. The doctor almost even smirked at me when I told him how much and what I drank, (beer and between 4 to 6 on NON-binge weeks....only on the days I have off...Monday and Wednesdays...and then 2 to 3 on days I work.....and not on weekends....(I used to drink until I blacked out on weekends and drank 8 beers every single day...before I went to rehab last year...)
Anyhow...anyone ever done the slowly stopping drinking route? How does one "cut back" until one is out of the "danger zone" of getting seizures? I CANNOT afford to miss work and go into detox and I WILL NOT return to a rehab facility. I found a meeting, (non-AA) on Thursdays....but I have yet to attend one....
I work today, so I won't be able to read anything until I get back tonight....
I am SO nervous about this whole ordeal....I have been 3 months without a seizure but I have a sinking suspicion that this is because I have been drinking a LOT more since January....and this may be why I stopped having the monthly seizure around the full moon......waking up with ones tongue half bitten off with your husband looking at you like you grew an extra head....THAT'S not fun AT ALL....

Peace ya'll d(-_-)b
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Old 03-30-2010, 05:40 AM
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I CANNOT afford to miss work and go into detox and I WILL NOT return to a rehab facility. I found a meeting, (non-AA) on Thursdays....but I have yet to attend one....

When you truly want to stop drinking, you will be willing to do whatever it takes. Until then, you'll continue to put conditions on quitting.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:02 AM
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you don't know me NOR my motives, actually.....FORTUNATE for me, last year when I DID go to rehab....my employer held my job for me...THIS time he will not.....and I am NOT making excuses to continue drinking, regardless of what YOU did (or anyone else, for that matter)....I am different and I CANNOT lose my job......I have worked in the same line of work for over 22 years.....I job hopped a LOT in my heavy "using" days......I have been where I am at for 3 years....anyway.....
I AM going to quit......and not EVERYONE is the same......(that includes motives, as well as method....)

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Old 03-30-2010, 06:10 AM
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Cornczech, I am not trying to argue with you. Everyone thinks they are different, but when it comes down to it, alcoholism can kill you. You are in a fight for your life. If you are negotiating your recovery, you haven't yet realized that fact. When you get serious, you will be willing to do whatever it takes. Good luck to you.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:14 AM
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Considering that he told you it wouldn't be safe for you to quit cold turkey, why don't you ask your GP for instructions on how to stop safely?
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:14 AM
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Hi cornczech

I think maybe you need to get a second opinion from a doctor who has a background with alcoholism. Weaning was not possible for me - it was like giving a pyromaniac a box of matches.

I actually agree with Suki too - I had to look really hard at my priorities.

It was my experience I kept saying how impossible it was for me to do this, or try that, to get better - as a result I kept falling back to the default position and drinking...

eventually, I nearly died...suddenly, believe me, all those obstacles vanished.

I know about jobs and relationships and all of that - but if other things are consistently more important than your recovery, how will you get better?

D
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:25 AM
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Your doctor told you not to quit cold turkey yet didn't suggest meds or anything to get you thru withdrawal?? Maybe time to see a different doctor... one more learned in addiction problems. Given your history of seizures, withdrawal meds would seem to be a no-brainer here. I hope you can get safely thru withdrawals and start a recovery program soon.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:26 AM
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I agree with the reason behind what you are saying....but one cannot create money out of thin air.....I cannot GO to rehab when I don't have the money. I agree....all about priorities....but you wanna see someone destroy themselves? Just stick around and see what would happen if I lost my job...had NO money and saw no ending to that long, nasty road......drinking would be only ONE of the problems, at that point.
I DID go to rehab last year...and I DID cut WAY back and took a GOOD look at who I had become....who I had LET myself become.....
but my bi-polar disorder will NOT go away just because I stop drinking...and I have glued a LOT of my self esteem to my accomplishments at work....my job...I was lucky last year with him holding my job for me.....then I started to get seizures and missed MORE work.....a nasty pattern...anyhow...i am going to be LATE for work if I don't get moving.....
I DO appreciate everyone's help here....and I DO see what is being told to me here...I just am in a tight bind with work......I have the names and numbers of a few psychiatrists......and I have the Thursday night meeting....I am taking the steps and WILL get there.....today is a work day and I will not drink after work.....

gotta run.....talk to ya'll this evening...

ciao for now d(-_-)b
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Old 03-30-2010, 04:55 PM
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called ALL day for a psychiatrist.....either the wouldn't see me, (we don't handle addictions)....or I was told I would have to go into their "facility" (rehab, revolving door, money suck....) or I would have to pay out-of-pocket, (even though I have insurance......I was told more and more psychiatrists no longer accept assignments as they don't get paid enough.....(I was told THAT by two psychiatrists offices...)
So.....I am on my own, it looks like......
ALL the way around, apparently.......
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Old 03-30-2010, 05:15 PM
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Corn,

I am wondering if you could do a detox program rather than rehab? It would take less time, usually 4-7 days instead of a 30-plus days of rehab. Can you check out Salvation Army or maybe another local detox? We have several here.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 03-30-2010, 05:17 PM
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Hi Cornczech. I can only share with you my experience, and am in no way saying that this will be yours. It is mine and mine only. I was diagnosed BP long before I ever drank. Not just the run of the mill BP, but a very rapid cycler. I was on several different meds, highest possible doses just to try to keep the symptoms at bay. Then I discovered alcohol. My cycles went even more rapid and life, as I knew it, became far from manageable.

Anyhoo....long story short, I quit drinking and used the AA program to solve my living problem. I still have difficult days. But I can manage without medication today. Again, this is my experience only. I do know that if I convince myself that it is impossible and can't be done, well then that's my answer. I had very close contact with my psychiatrist the whole time, and did this under his care and direction. I have been off of medications for over a year now.

If this post is outside of forum guidelines, please delete it. Again, I can't stress enough, this is only my experience. I just had to be willing to let go of my alcohol and take a look at the real problem.

Good luck to you. I hope for only the best for you.
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Old 03-30-2010, 05:35 PM
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Sev-

I am 43 and only now do I recognize that something is REALLY wrong with my mind AND brain. Like you, i won't go into too many details....but I HATE to be told what to do...and unless I have "fun", i don't want to take mind altering drugs...(like I said....only if I wanted to have "fun" with it...)
before i found "things" that would "calm" me...I was a complete and utter "weirdo".....I would cry for no reason.....insult people like no other human on the planet....fight...think the world hated me....act COMPLETELY normal for a few months...then right back at it.....all this before I turned 20. SO....first I was a pain pill popper, (I had a pretty nasty disease called endometriosis....have since had a hysterectomy...but that disease is what introduced me to pain pills and I learned quickly that they numbed more than physical pain....) in my late 20's and early 30's....thank the sky fairies that narcotics started to make me DEATHLY ill....and so i went from those to alcohol...then alcohol and pot. (I was 115 pounds at age 32...I started to drink and smoke....I am now 160 pounds....alcohol and pot....).
And so here I sit....wondering what the hell to do....my alcoholic brother is dead at age 38...my own mother is STILL a raging alcoholic, (you should hear the lovely drunken messages she leaves me...even though I have not spoken to her since around 2004)....
I regulate the pot by stopping for months at a time....after all..smoking makes one a little chunky.....but the alcohol is the hardest...and I don't start in the am and drink until I pass out....and after rehab...I even stopped the 8 beers a day and no longer drink on weekends.....but...on the days I have off....4 to 6 beers....alone....then I may smoke all day too....
Anyhow...my story is on this forum...and I have spoken out my heart enough today....
when I TRY to get help and all I see are walls....nobody wants to see me because I am addicted, (I see: hopeless)...or come and spend $10,000 a week so we can teach you about the 12 steps, (something that is free) and not really help you with WHY you started to drink like this in the first place.....or I get the, "insurance doesn't pay enough...so if ya AIN'T gots 'da cash...we don't wanna see you" kind of attitude.....
makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside right now.....
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Cornczech View Post
called ALL day for a psychiatrist.....either the wouldn't see me, (we don't handle addictions)....or I was told I would have to go into their "facility" (rehab, revolving door, money suck....) or I would have to pay out-of-pocket, (even though I have insurance......I was told more and more psychiatrists no longer accept assignments as they don't get paid enough.....(I was told THAT by two psychiatrists offices...)
So.....I am on my own, it looks like......
ALL the way around, apparently.......
There is always AA, which is free. Many, many people here have quit for good using AA and working the steps. There is always a way if you are willing to do whatever it takes.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:25 PM
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I hear a :LOT about "doing whatever it takes"....but a LOT of it involves becoming something I am not: spiritual. I started having seizures last year about 2 months after rehab...and after a couple of those.....I began to become a complete atheist.....and when one DOESN'T believe in anything other then what I can see, hear, feel, smell....then if it doesn't fit into the senses.....then it was all a mind trick and wishful thinking....so how does one like me gain from AA when everything hinges on "a higher power"? I am NOT knocking what works for others....but here I sit...right now...wanting help, but being stuck in this patten..."you cannot stop alone", "we cannot see you because we don't see addicts", "We don't take insurance", "you MUST go into our rehab to see our psychiatrist"......and I read on this website...and I read, AA this....or AA that...and get told "when you're ready to stop making excuses...." COME ON....I need HELP...in MY world....and if I am doomed with this drug, (alcohol)...with no outside help because I don't fit into some nice, neat package...then I HAVE been right this entire time and nobody cares unless there's a "catch".......nice, hmmmmm?
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:29 PM
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When I quit all I wanted to do was not die - and I was willing to go to any lengths to make that happen. It needn't be any more complicated than that

D
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:33 PM
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perhaps my will to live is not the same as yours...

thanks.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:33 PM
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There are a lot of people who don't believe in "God" who got and stayed sober through AA. You are making excuses. When you are truly ready to stop drinking, you will be willing to do whatever is necessary.
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Old 03-30-2010, 06:33 PM
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The Salvation Army offers free rehab everywhere in the U.S and Canada for anyone who wants it. Just check with your local office.

Rehabilitation Services
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Old 03-30-2010, 07:09 PM
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Hi Corn. I'm glad to see you responded. I have to tell you, your story really isn't too far off from mine. I can really relate to what you are feeling RIGHT NOW. Hopeless, alone, weight of the world on your shoulders...yeah, I get it. I lived that life for many years. I was raised in a strict Christian home and I wanted NO PART of that! AA was my absolute last option. Like you, I was different. I couldn't afford to lose my job, I had outside issues (Bi Polar) and I was completely against this higher power nonsense. But, in the end, I had to give AA a try. It has worked for millions of other alcoholics. Surely, there must be something to it. Once I could open my mind just a tiny bit to the idea that maybe a group of sober alcoholics could find strength in each other and be a little more powerful than just me, well then...I had a higher power. Surely I could admit that a group of people is more powerful than just one person alone. That was my in. From there I changed and evolved and continue to do so. As long as I can keep my mind open just a fraction and be willing and honest. That's it. It has really changed my life. it is free. and I have never been turned away due to a lack of insurance. In fact, I've never even missed a day of work due to AA. I never went to rehab for the same reasons you don't go. Instead, I tried AA. And wouldn't ya know it....I can confidently say that it's worked for millions PLUS one more. I know it seems like everyone is picking on you, AA this and AA that....try to open up to the possibility. Give it a shot. What have you got to lose at this point?

Let me know what you think.....
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Old 03-30-2010, 07:10 PM
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truly ready to stop drinking, you will be willing to do whatever is necessary. (quote)

and now is when I get thrown off this board...then if that statement you said is true...then I would kill myself...because that JUST might be what it takes....

I thank everyone here for your kind responses, opinions and sharing of stories.....

Peace
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