Laura_P

Liss-You want brutal, here it is: Read your post and give yourself the advice that you would give any of us if we had written it-- I think you would say to be strong, stand up for yourself, have some self respect, and leave that LOSER! Don't let him come over unless he starts paying child support/alimony. I don't care that he doesn't have a job. He's got enough to go bowling and go to bars, and if he's drinking enough to pass out at "so and so's" house, then who the he** is he to condemn you for your drinking? And you're the one trying to stay sober! What is he doing to improve his life? Or your relationship? It sounds like all he's doing is sabbotaging it.

scootinbabe

i kinda agree with nyc, it's good to get legal help. he should be helping to pay even if this is temporary. knowing your rights also helps to give you confidence--you know where you stand and what is yours.


beezy! i have a blue vespa!

pookielolo

Liss----I totally agree with what Beezy said, EVERY word of it

I live in Ohio also, PLEASE let me know if I can help

Laura_P

I've been on for 2 hours... must get on with what needs to be done today. The crisis at the school is over... My nephew's crisis has happenned, nothing I can do about it but give him love and support. I must deal. I'm going to clean the house, which I HATE to do, but I can't stand it anymore, and then do something good for ME, maybe a pedicure or go to the gym.

Anyone heard from misty yet????????????

Smyle

do you ??? a blue one.... how cool...It was a guy driving it..he lives in town and rides is around when it gets nice..

so your always gonna be around now...(smiling)

scootinbabe

my other ride is a peachy pink with mint green--very retro and very "girly"
also vespa!


laura, glad crisis is over! that is really scary. i remember when i was working and the building (a high rise in a city) had to be completely evacuated. i was nearly in tears. this world we live in is crazy.



oh, and my main ride is a groovy minivan, complete with dents and interior by mcdonalds. lol

Lollipop

Thanks you all....

(((((Beezy))))))) thank you so much for the offer!You have no idea how wonderful you are!!!

You are all SOOOOO right, I went back and reread my post, it made me start thinking back to everything and I am trying to see things for what they truely are instead of what I want or wish for them to be!

I have taken care of him since we were best friends when I was in the 8th grade....making sure he had gas money, doing his laundry with ours, lunch money, buying him beer etc.(I went to work at 13 so I always had cash) I could NEVER stand for him to be mad at me, I never could bare to dissapoint him, and in reality, when I look back, it seems that (if nothing else, in my mind) I was always dissapointing him in some way or another......dinner was bland, we couldnt make bills, I didnt figure in enough cash for him to bowl on (at which point, the kids and I would go without and I would call my Dad with some lame ass excuse and borrow more money, at which point, Ex would leave me with the kids and go bowling, sometimes to not come home until the next day) and I was never allowed to show emotion, if I got upset or angry, or if GOD FORBID! I cried, I was told that I was either, "bringing him down, stepping on his buzz, or that I needed to suck it up cuz crying gets you nowhere"

It was one of those relationships where as long as he was happy and we had money, it was great but I know I held in a ton of frustration and anger for a very long time. Hell, I remember when he got his trust fund of over 46k$ he would not let me go with him to the attorneys office, he put it soley in HIS name and would not tell me exactly how much he got, his sister told me and he BLEW it! Granted I did get a van out of it (which he later wrecked) and he did take me out but I was not allowed access to any of it without his permission....we had been together at this point and Married for over 10 years!!!!

EEESH! I have a TON of work to do dont I?????

I talked to child support yesterday, I told them where in general that he is living because I do not know his exact address, and I told them where he works, but she said that they cant do ANYTHING until he is served and they cant serve him unless they can find him, with me not getting any type of assistance from the state, they will not be as aggressive about it.....so all I can do there is wait.
I called legal aid to try to get in to speak to them about divorce, but they are so overwhelmed that the wait is like 2 months, it costs 300$ to file on my own. Again, I wait....

Meanwhile I know I need to not allow him to push my buttons, I have to be strong and ignore the little smiles and attention that I want to believe is fake but seems so damn sincere, and cut ties.....I just cant for the life of me figure out why I am like this with him, I am usually a very strong person who can bounce back quickly.....

Maybe I should start dating LOL! Maybe attention from someone else would help?! Of course my luck he would nail me for adultry or something! ACK!!! And tonite is this thing for Carla, and once again, he KNOWS I need to depend on him to see it through because there is literally nobody else to take me.......WTF am I gonna do?!?!?!
Sorry for being so long winded today, but typing this all out is helping and I really REALLY appreciate you all and your advice.......keep it coming!
~Hugs!~
Love Liss

jackie

OMG laura--it can't get much worse--sounds like--i am glad everything is ok at the girls school--big relief!!!!

i am sorry about your nephew--i hope he is ok!!!! my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!!!

mikiglen

alive,just sleeping
i'll catch up later

brynn38

Hi guys..don't have much time, I've been trying to read back since I last posted and got through page 20 and realized the time and will have to finish later. Thanks for all the support. It does make me feel better to know that I'm not crazy for thinking that this woman doesn't have a right to do this. I have found the number to reach her supervisor...they have several apartment complexes in several different states. Anyway, I have just been feeling like crap. I went in yesterday and told her point blank that I do not have the money to move in 3 days. She called a lady that manages some apartments here in town..not as nice as where I live, but okay..told her that I needed something quick...great tenant..appreciate any help she could give her. I went there and got an application...and the lady told me that it would take atleast 7-10 days before I would be able to have an apartment. No pets allowed. not close to anything. no dishwasher, no washer /dryer hook-up...I know these are not the most important things and if it comes down to it, I will do this..I've lived in much worse places. I've paid 505. in rent here and never been late or missed a month. I have a major headach, feel listless, nauseaus, can't eat a bite...blablabla. Sorry to be so down, but I just don't have it in me right now to be anything else. Spoke with Alex yesterday and started crying and luckily Jonathan was with me and took the phone from me when I couldn't talk. I told Alex that I was losing the apartment as a result of his actions and he really felt bad...got very quiet. I asked him if he would be willing to tell the landlady that he done this out of anger, etc. he said yes. i asked him if he was gonna discuss it with his dad first and he said "yeah". So,there goes that. That A$$ will not do anything that is favorable for me. I'v ehelped him out numerous times, kept him from going to jail 3 times, and even helped him out when he did have to spend time over d.u.i. by sharing my medicine(prescribed to me..know it was illegal to do this) but I "felt sorry" for him and knew that he needed something to help him relax. STUPID!!!! I could have easily called the jail and told them that he needed to have a drug test and he would have been in even more trouble..but I don't play games like that. Even though he could not have proven that I gave it to him, with my luck and past experiences with him...it would have come back to bite me in the a$$. Oh well, I haven't even begun to pack...house is a wreck..just don't have any energy. I did go to the police dept. yesterday and tried to get some advice about the report and see if they could talk to the landlady and even asked them if they knew if she could put me out in 3 days. They said that it was up to her..I know they are not the ones to answer this question...just thought it might be worth a try while I was there. They said the only thing I could do was to get my son to come and talk tot them and change his story...then if he changed it again, it would be to my advantage because it would make him look less credible. I know that I have every right to be angry with him and I am more hurt than anything. That's when I called him after school and asked him if he would tell the truth. i told him to call me backl..never did. So..I'm gonna take the advice that you all have given me and check into everything that i can to see what I can do. I asked her yesterday when the 3 days was up and she said Monday. My stomach is in a thousand knots and i have to do something..just don't know where to begin. It's supposed to rain all weekend..great!
I know...all about me. I am not meaning to be selfish..really. I have tried to think of other things and it just don't work. I almost went to the emergency room yesterday because my left arm and neck on the left side was aching..just a little..but i also felt nausous..sp?..I don't know if it's just anxiety or what..but I know that I don;t need to take any chances...I just feel like giving up sometimes. I'm really really tired of fighting everything. wish I could get a new identity completely and just dissapear into thin air...after winning the lottery..right!! But one good thing..while I was on the route the other day after being told that I had 3 days to get out, I was in this little bitty town about 20 miles from home and just had a feeling to stop at this convenience store and buy some scratch-offs. I know this sounds stupid as I need to save every penny I have right now...but I was in one of those..wtf moods...anyway..bought a cappucino and 4, 2$ scratch offs....won 100 dollars off one of them and 27 dollars off another. so minus the 8 bucks I spent on them, not bad. started to go back and get some more...but knew I would probably regret it..so I took my measly 127 and left...still didn;t make me smile, but didn't make me feel any worse either!
sorry for rambling again and I have got to go do something...just don't knw what yet. I have kept all of you in my prayers each day and night...hope everythng is well with everybody. I'll check back in when I can..hope the next time will be with some good news....hope. I love you all. Have a great day. Brenda
p.s. Yep, it's Friday the 13th...woo hoo...and I am a bit superstitious! I am one of those people that can just look at the ground and find four leaf clovers all day and have found at least 8 or ten in the past few days while walking Lucy...I always heard to give them to someone else..so I have been...maybe I need to keep one for myself..haha! sorry...sad attempt at humor.

Laura_P

Misty- so glad to hear you're okay.
Liss- Stick to your guns and get rid of that worthless piece of &*$%. You are so much stronger than that. Stand up for yourself. I know you say you love him, but what you are describing is not love. Since that's what you've known since 8th grade, it's probably what you have associated with love. But you being the provider and caretaker, and him being the emotional abuser who will occasionally give you a little something to keep stringing you along is not love. If you can beat booze, which is addictive, you can beat this, which is common sense. Sorry to be so blunt and brutal about it, but you asked.

Peterson

Love you guys!!!!!

Laura_P

Brenda- I wouldn't move out until they can show you that they can legally evict you. You have not been served with any papers or anything. Most people would LOVE to have a tennant like you who pays everything on time! She has no legal ground to evict you.

janeeyre

I just think Jack is being DUMB. He thinks too highly of himself to be objective.

With you on Desmond....I'm a sucker for an accent And they could do so much more with his premonition thing....

Candy Scratch

((((Misti)))) Keep checking in OK? We're all so worried about you!

((((Liss))))) Everyone else said it so well. It doesn't sound like he is a very good man, and especially not to you. I'd go so far as to say he is an emotional abuser. Yet, I completely understand your attachment. All of my life I have been attracted to men who are not very good for me and hang on to them for ages after realizing that. WTF? We're not stupid women. Just goes to show you how powerful those tides within are.

Also thank you for offering your help with my daughter. She has so many things going on that I am right now trying to get her into the kid's mental health centre at the hospital for an assessment. I'll keep you posted.

As for finances -- do you have a paypal account? Maybe whoever is able can chip in a little to help you out, Liss. If you do have one, just PM the account #.

(((Brynn))) I'm so sorry you have to go through this at all.

I'm feeling down myself today. No one particular reason.

Hugs to all the mamas (and non-mama friends!)

janeeyre

((Misti)) I wish could offer something helpful, but please know I'm thinking of/praying for you.

((Brynn)) I'm glad you posted--I was wondering if anything had changed. I wish I could offer help to you, too. All I have is my thoughts & prayers.

scootinbabe

I just think Jack is being DUMB. He thinks too highly of himself to be objective.

bwwwwwhhhhaaahahaha!!!

typical surgeon.

scootinbabe

**{lolli}}
you are doing the right things.

don't by any means get involved with someone else. you can't afford that complication right now until you get your current bozo out of your life.

hm....perhaps you just need a quick visit from our ranch cow-pokes. tee-hee.

pookielolo

Hi ladies
not freaking or anything, but with all these mommas, maybe someone has experienced this.

Becca was feeling much better, then yesterday, she lost her"voice", her babble and cry is extremely hoarse and she will not drink her bottle , only eat?? any ideas??
I am going to call the Dr, but they are not in until 1:30
Thanks all

scootinbabe

pookie--is her tongue whitish colored? does her breath smell odd? does she have a fever?

see if you can pick up any other symptoms or unusual things to explain it to the doctor. it could be any number of things--strep perhaps or just a cold.

the only other thing i'd suggest is to feed her crushed ice or berries just to make sure she's hydrated.

it doesn't sound too serious if that give you consolation; however, get your pediatrician's opinion.

hang in there