And so it goes.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: AK
Posts: 7
And so it goes.
I can't remember when exactly I became an alcoholic, but I'd guess about 15 years ago.
A dui (thank heavens it did not involve an accident) shortly thereafter, and I told myself that I was just a binge drinker, not an alcoholic...not one of "those" people.
Spent the years in various stages of drinking and not drinking, but ultimately always drunk when I did drink.
But still not one of "those" people, I told myself.
The years faded on by, still in various stages of drinking and not drinking and telling myself that I wasn't an alcoholic.
More years gone by. More of the same drinking and not drinking and more of the denial and the lies.
"Oh, but I'll stop drinking for 4 months and then I can just have a little..."
Over and over, still not claiming that I was an alcoholic...not one of "those" people.
I had a small realization of what I was a few months ago, and claimed that I would never drink to get drunk again!
Lead balloons, and all that.
In 15 years, I never once fessed up to the fact that I was an alcoholic, that I was just a binger and everything was fine.
Last Monday, I awoke with a shadow of a hangover, thanks to a very large meal the night before, without the large meal the hangover would have been much much worse.
I also awoke to the fact that I was an alcoholic and I had a serious problem with alcohol, and I was finally able to confront my lies and denial and the promises that I will quit for a while, then I can have just a little.
I never had a firm conviction of not drinking, just those pointless little promises to myself.
Monday, I awoke with that conviction. I can't say right now if I will be successful, but I can say with complete certainty that I now have the conviction to stop.
No denial of what I am. No lies that I am ok. No little promises that if I be a good boy for a while I can have a treat.
And with all that, I feel better as a human being than I have in a long, long time.
A dui (thank heavens it did not involve an accident) shortly thereafter, and I told myself that I was just a binge drinker, not an alcoholic...not one of "those" people.
Spent the years in various stages of drinking and not drinking, but ultimately always drunk when I did drink.
But still not one of "those" people, I told myself.
The years faded on by, still in various stages of drinking and not drinking and telling myself that I wasn't an alcoholic.
More years gone by. More of the same drinking and not drinking and more of the denial and the lies.
"Oh, but I'll stop drinking for 4 months and then I can just have a little..."
Over and over, still not claiming that I was an alcoholic...not one of "those" people.
I had a small realization of what I was a few months ago, and claimed that I would never drink to get drunk again!
Lead balloons, and all that.
In 15 years, I never once fessed up to the fact that I was an alcoholic, that I was just a binger and everything was fine.
Last Monday, I awoke with a shadow of a hangover, thanks to a very large meal the night before, without the large meal the hangover would have been much much worse.
I also awoke to the fact that I was an alcoholic and I had a serious problem with alcohol, and I was finally able to confront my lies and denial and the promises that I will quit for a while, then I can have just a little.
I never had a firm conviction of not drinking, just those pointless little promises to myself.
Monday, I awoke with that conviction. I can't say right now if I will be successful, but I can say with complete certainty that I now have the conviction to stop.
No denial of what I am. No lies that I am ok. No little promises that if I be a good boy for a while I can have a treat.
And with all that, I feel better as a human being than I have in a long, long time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: AK
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Welcome to SR Better, lot of good folks here. So what are you doing to stop drinking?
The problem is SLEEP! I haven't had a regular sleep schedule in days...no "Nytol" if you know what I mean.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: AK
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Lollipop
Hiyas Better!
Welcome to SR!!!! So how are things going? Keep us posted!
~HUGS!~ Liss
Welcome to SR!!!! So how are things going? Keep us posted!
~HUGS!~ Liss
Also next January-March is something that I'm not looking forward to, as the long dark winter nights can be hard to deal with. I'll work out a plan before then.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
The sleep was not an issue for me, why I do not know, but a lot of folks have that problem, but from what I have heard it gets better with time.
I am an alcoholic and have found that drinking is but a symptom of my disease.
I am an alcoholic and have found that drinking is but a symptom of my disease.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Backwoods America
Posts: 77
They all ways told me you want die from lack of sleep...But I know for me I can and do go for days--weeks with out drinking..But in a moments I will be drunk..And after 30 years I've gone from a daily drinker to a binge drinker..So BEWARE...The whiskeyMAN is there.....Glad you are here.......GOOD LUCK
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 859
Hey Better,
Glad your standing strong!!! I went through the insomnia.....it was aweful, I did make some changes that helped though, dunno if they would work for you, but they (along with time) helped me.
I cut any type of food or caffine in the evening, took hot baths, read, and mainly got myself into a routine, tried to go to bed around the same time and get up at the same time no matter what, didnt get too much sleep, forced myself NOT to doze off in front of the TV in the evening, that sorda thing.
I cannot imagine going for several months of the long dark nites, Heck, I get major depressed by the end of winter here. How do you do that? LOL
Anyhoo, Keep on Keepin on!
~HUGS!~
Liss
Glad your standing strong!!! I went through the insomnia.....it was aweful, I did make some changes that helped though, dunno if they would work for you, but they (along with time) helped me.
I cut any type of food or caffine in the evening, took hot baths, read, and mainly got myself into a routine, tried to go to bed around the same time and get up at the same time no matter what, didnt get too much sleep, forced myself NOT to doze off in front of the TV in the evening, that sorda thing.
I cannot imagine going for several months of the long dark nites, Heck, I get major depressed by the end of winter here. How do you do that? LOL
Anyhoo, Keep on Keepin on!
~HUGS!~
Liss
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Hi Better,
yeah...dunno about the sleeping thing either (he says having been up a couple hours already at 1/4 to 6!!)...Liss had some great suggestions though...might try them myself...!!
peace
D
yeah...dunno about the sleeping thing either (he says having been up a couple hours already at 1/4 to 6!!)...Liss had some great suggestions though...might try them myself...!!
peace
D
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