Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 9
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,856
Originally Posted by SouthernSober 
Bodhi--I hear you, and I know I'm coming from a very different place and background...but sincere question: if, in ~6 months time you are sober and with a brand new baby...what else is really important in comparison?
Right?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
SS, in the grand scheme of things having a healthy baby and being sober is paramount. Especially with having experienced multiple pregnancy losses I know that my life is in a really wonderful spot and hopefully continues to be. I for sure don’t take that for granted. I will say though that 10 months and the 2 years of infertility leading up to it is a long time with the majority of my energy on babies. My career is one aspect of my life and it’s a balance that right now has been weighing on me a lot more as I’m trying to secure a new role before going out on maternity leave. Grad school is also something I’m pushing myself to get through as much as I can before hopefully a healthy newborn comes and takes priority. I also want to let go of negative behaviors and patterns I’m just very much in preparation mode right now. All the things I’m doing are to get me in a good place for the baby. A healthy baby is priority but I think being a healthy mom who’s in a better place to foster the baby’s healthy development is important too. Although, I don’t need to put a ton of pressure on myself, no one’s perfect and it’ll all work out as it’s supposed to.
Thanks SS for the reminder of what at the end of the day is ultimately the most important things.
Thanks SS for the reminder of what at the end of the day is ultimately the most important things.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Thanks, LHW...I'm right on top of it (the coast). But not concerned. Pretty mild so far and due to pass overnight. Nobody really prepped, no closings or cancellations. Our community was designed to be as storm proof as possible. The issue really is post-storm as we can get thunderstorms with heavy rains, then being between the various rivers and the coast, flooding is a concern. So far so good.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Kansas City, MO
Posts: 1,121
Good Friday morning all.
LHW, best of luck as you adjust to the new reality with your vision. Hopefully you get comfortable with the new glasses and contacts. I'm sure that takes some time. I'm overdue for an eye appointment and will get that on the calendar when I get back home. Hopefully you hear from your Florida friends in the next couple of days. I have a friend in Jacksonville who was fortunate to miss the worst of it. The number of senior citizens in that state has to make the relief efforts even more complex.
Bodhi, I can totally relate to your overachieving tendencies. Trying to be all things to all people. That was me for so many years until I finally burned out. I was lucky (I guess) to have management recognize my efforts, but it really just made me the 'go to' person for all of the tasks that no one else was equipped to do. Or cared to figure out. And of course I carried the resulting stress home with me, which impacted all of my relationships. Your sobriety will allow you to figure out the work/life balance much better than I did. But don't hesitate to come here and air out your frustrations because this group will be more than happy to weigh in!
SS, I'm glad to hear that you're not in the direct path of the storm. What's the worst one you've ever experienced? I imagine that there have been a few bad ones in your neck of the woods.
Lynn, so sorry for all of the challenges that you are facing getting your daughter squared away. I hope that things have settled down some and that you are able to get some rest.
Lisa, Happy Friday! I hope that your work week has been okay, and that you have fun plans this weekend.
The kids get back in town from their trip on Saturday and I'm flying back to KC on Sunday. Have really enjoyed my stay in NYC but am ready to get back home. Saturday is supposed to be a washout, as we will be dealing with remnants of Ian as he moves up the coast. The weather has been beautiful for most of my stay, so I can't complain.
Wishing you all a good day and I'll catch up with you later.
LHW, best of luck as you adjust to the new reality with your vision. Hopefully you get comfortable with the new glasses and contacts. I'm sure that takes some time. I'm overdue for an eye appointment and will get that on the calendar when I get back home. Hopefully you hear from your Florida friends in the next couple of days. I have a friend in Jacksonville who was fortunate to miss the worst of it. The number of senior citizens in that state has to make the relief efforts even more complex.
Bodhi, I can totally relate to your overachieving tendencies. Trying to be all things to all people. That was me for so many years until I finally burned out. I was lucky (I guess) to have management recognize my efforts, but it really just made me the 'go to' person for all of the tasks that no one else was equipped to do. Or cared to figure out. And of course I carried the resulting stress home with me, which impacted all of my relationships. Your sobriety will allow you to figure out the work/life balance much better than I did. But don't hesitate to come here and air out your frustrations because this group will be more than happy to weigh in!
SS, I'm glad to hear that you're not in the direct path of the storm. What's the worst one you've ever experienced? I imagine that there have been a few bad ones in your neck of the woods.
Lynn, so sorry for all of the challenges that you are facing getting your daughter squared away. I hope that things have settled down some and that you are able to get some rest.
Lisa, Happy Friday! I hope that your work week has been okay, and that you have fun plans this weekend.
The kids get back in town from their trip on Saturday and I'm flying back to KC on Sunday. Have really enjoyed my stay in NYC but am ready to get back home. Saturday is supposed to be a washout, as we will be dealing with remnants of Ian as he moves up the coast. The weather has been beautiful for most of my stay, so I can't complain.
Wishing you all a good day and I'll catch up with you later.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Exactly CP! It’s such a vicious cycle taking responsibilities thinking that it won’t get done if I don’t do it or it wont get done properly/effectively. Then I get self righteous/resentful towards management and the team for not seeing how valuable I am. Like where’s my parade/cookie/promotion?! Mind you the fact that no one asked me or expects me to do these things. Also, I think the work itself is just not very impactful so it’s demoralizing and further propels my desire to get to the next role. I’m trying very hard these days to back off, let go of the need to control, and not put this pressure on myself, but like with anything it’s a process and easier said than done.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Bodhi, glad you feel that way. It took me a while to say what I said, because the older I get, the more hesitant I am to have anything construed as advice. Sharing my mistakes is more like it.
As concisely as I can put this: I worked (active duty, plus grad school) the equivalent of two lifetimes for most people by the time I was in my early 40s. It wrecked my life, accelerated my alcoholism, and at the end there was nothing but work, and then there wasn't. It took me 15 years to put my life back together, and then I was shocked to meet someone with whom I wanted a family more than anything in the world, a stunning reversal of a lifetime disinclination to have children. How complicated that is, and painful, is too much for this forum. But there it is.
Then I had to deal with Duchess' sudden illness and passing. All of this--well, real perspective.
I have this folder of lists/aphorisms on my PC desktop to remind me of such things. This here is attributed to Buddha, but who knows:
"In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
My SIL was a SVP for a major insurance corporation by the time she was 30, then did an MBA at NYU at night. Around the time of 9/11, BTW. Talk about stressful. What did she do afterwards? Spent the last ~18 years raising the best kids you could ever ask for.
I hope the class as a whole will continue to discuss such things. I really do. best, SS
As concisely as I can put this: I worked (active duty, plus grad school) the equivalent of two lifetimes for most people by the time I was in my early 40s. It wrecked my life, accelerated my alcoholism, and at the end there was nothing but work, and then there wasn't. It took me 15 years to put my life back together, and then I was shocked to meet someone with whom I wanted a family more than anything in the world, a stunning reversal of a lifetime disinclination to have children. How complicated that is, and painful, is too much for this forum. But there it is.
Then I had to deal with Duchess' sudden illness and passing. All of this--well, real perspective.
I have this folder of lists/aphorisms on my PC desktop to remind me of such things. This here is attributed to Buddha, but who knows:
"In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
My SIL was a SVP for a major insurance corporation by the time she was 30, then did an MBA at NYU at night. Around the time of 9/11, BTW. Talk about stressful. What did she do afterwards? Spent the last ~18 years raising the best kids you could ever ask for.
I hope the class as a whole will continue to discuss such things. I really do. best, SS
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
CP, after 10 years in SouthFla and coastal Carolina...I don't remember. Had some very, very close calls. A couple of years ago, I swear my neighborhood was the only one left that had power (and I still had internet, which is my oxygen).
Currently it's more about how long the rain will last, follow-up thunderstorms, and the rising threat of flooding. But my windows are still open and the flag is still flying gamely.
Currently it's more about how long the rain will last, follow-up thunderstorms, and the rising threat of flooding. But my windows are still open and the flag is still flying gamely.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,358
SS, glad the storms are t negatively affecting you.
Bodhi, sounds like you’ve got a wonderful plan for balance
James, safe travels home. I understand what it’s like to like to be home and at the same time be of service and be someplace neato/cool.
Lisa, how is the glass class going, how’s the pooch, and of course, you?
LHW, glad you are making the decision to see with glasses/contacts, I totally understand not wanting eye surgery again so soon after this unusual outcome, but lasik is GREAT when you do decide.
NL, would love you to drop in
We got EVERY INCH of the condo painted in the near nick of time before carpet people came to condo. Grateful to receive a sincere apology from daughter for reprehensible behavior, I need to remember that alcoholic and meth brain coupled with traumatic brain injury makes for a wicked combo perfect for rage, mental illness, and a short fuse. She’s trying.
Today, more fun stuff. Electrical, furniture, caulking, sink garbage disposal, running a water line to an ordered new refrigerator, sconces, etc.
Lots of love to my class.
Bodhi, can I make baby a blanket? What colors?
Bodhi, sounds like you’ve got a wonderful plan for balance
James, safe travels home. I understand what it’s like to like to be home and at the same time be of service and be someplace neato/cool.
Lisa, how is the glass class going, how’s the pooch, and of course, you?
LHW, glad you are making the decision to see with glasses/contacts, I totally understand not wanting eye surgery again so soon after this unusual outcome, but lasik is GREAT when you do decide.
NL, would love you to drop in
We got EVERY INCH of the condo painted in the near nick of time before carpet people came to condo. Grateful to receive a sincere apology from daughter for reprehensible behavior, I need to remember that alcoholic and meth brain coupled with traumatic brain injury makes for a wicked combo perfect for rage, mental illness, and a short fuse. She’s trying.
Today, more fun stuff. Electrical, furniture, caulking, sink garbage disposal, running a water line to an ordered new refrigerator, sconces, etc.
Lots of love to my class.
Bodhi, can I make baby a blanket? What colors?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,465
I have been keeping up with the class- it's good to see how busy it is. Hope you are all doing well, more later- I spent a WHOLE day watching movies yesterday and now need to do a little "real life" stuff. Feels good to be able to actually do what I want with my time rather than be dictated to by poison in a bottle.
Have a good day!
Have a good day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,465
It is quiet. I echo Free, hope all are well.
It’s been cold and windy here, not complaining, just not really ready for summer to be gone! I actually wore boots today. Can’t get my head around what the folks in Ft Meyers are contending with. Boots aren’t much of a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Grateful as always for my sobriety, this place and all of you. Doing fine and plowing ahead.
It’s been cold and windy here, not complaining, just not really ready for summer to be gone! I actually wore boots today. Can’t get my head around what the folks in Ft Meyers are contending with. Boots aren’t much of a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Grateful as always for my sobriety, this place and all of you. Doing fine and plowing ahead.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,358
Fellow SR member Alpine has been keeping an accountability thread, and posting some great inspirational/spiritual quotes and pics.
im going to post some here. Dabbled out, you know. Like a carrot trying to reel you all back in.🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇
im going to post some here. Dabbled out, you know. Like a carrot trying to reel you all back in.🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇🐇
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,358
Getting back into walking, it’s good for my soul.
Daughter is very challenging. Husband is becoming a little yucky in his words. We talked. All good.
Its very stressful for us all. Hopefully can get her moved in by Friday. Seems she’s a bit of a hoarder, and I can’t save her from that. 😫
Daughter is very challenging. Husband is becoming a little yucky in his words. We talked. All good.
Its very stressful for us all. Hopefully can get her moved in by Friday. Seems she’s a bit of a hoarder, and I can’t save her from that. 😫
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,856
Good Morning everyone...just checking in.
Yes, it's quiet on here but I'm guessing everyone is just busy busy.
Our friends in Fort Myers rode out the hurricane and emerged relatiavely unscathed with minimal property damage but a friend of theirs died while trying to escape the high waters. It was actually reported in the New York Times. They are traumatized in many ways. Still don't have power and expect it will be off another week or so. They waited in line over 4 hours to get a few gallons of gas for their generator. It's all very sad. Things can be replaced, but life cannot.
Mr. LHW and I are super busy. I have written about his large family in the past. We have more surprise birthday parties, anniversary parties, retirement parties, etc. than I can count. I thought we were done with all that when the wedding season was over. We are looking forward to our upcoming vacation in a few weeks just so we can relax with nothing to do except decide where to eat dinner that night. This coming weekend, we are going down to Atlantic City to the Wanda Sykes show. She is one of my all time favorite comedians and I had the surprised pleasure of sitting next to her on a plane a few years ago. What an amazing flight that was. I think we expect comedians to be funny all the time...she was just a normal person. Being funny is her job as she told me. Anyway....
Still waiting on my new glasses. Hopefully they will be here before the end of the week.
That's all for now. Everyone have a great week.
Yes, it's quiet on here but I'm guessing everyone is just busy busy.
Our friends in Fort Myers rode out the hurricane and emerged relatiavely unscathed with minimal property damage but a friend of theirs died while trying to escape the high waters. It was actually reported in the New York Times. They are traumatized in many ways. Still don't have power and expect it will be off another week or so. They waited in line over 4 hours to get a few gallons of gas for their generator. It's all very sad. Things can be replaced, but life cannot.
Mr. LHW and I are super busy. I have written about his large family in the past. We have more surprise birthday parties, anniversary parties, retirement parties, etc. than I can count. I thought we were done with all that when the wedding season was over. We are looking forward to our upcoming vacation in a few weeks just so we can relax with nothing to do except decide where to eat dinner that night. This coming weekend, we are going down to Atlantic City to the Wanda Sykes show. She is one of my all time favorite comedians and I had the surprised pleasure of sitting next to her on a plane a few years ago. What an amazing flight that was. I think we expect comedians to be funny all the time...she was just a normal person. Being funny is her job as she told me. Anyway....
Still waiting on my new glasses. Hopefully they will be here before the end of the week.
That's all for now. Everyone have a great week.
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