Class of August 2021 Support Thread Part 9
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Thanks, Free. Good tonic. This part in particular:
"We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in-between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not.
We’re standing at the in-between place. It’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we’re in-between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good."
Reminder that I need to drink my own Kool-Aid: think it was just a week ago I was posting about how the huge progress of 6 months' time and effort is built out of sometimes seemingly endless ennui and angst-filled "one day at a times." Those "what-for?" days.
Reminder that I can't change almost all of what's going on outside. But I can, and must, change how I respond to it.
"We may have many feelings going on when we’re in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.
Being in-between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not.
We’re standing at the in-between place. It’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.
We are moving forward, even when we’re in-between.
Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for the faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good."
Reminder that I need to drink my own Kool-Aid: think it was just a week ago I was posting about how the huge progress of 6 months' time and effort is built out of sometimes seemingly endless ennui and angst-filled "one day at a times." Those "what-for?" days.
Reminder that I can't change almost all of what's going on outside. But I can, and must, change how I respond to it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,430
Originally Posted by SouthernSober 
This is what I think of as "intermediate sobriety"--when you've put in enough time not drinking is now the default setting, the constant obsession has been lifted, you know the drill, you know the tools...so what's next...
That "what's next" is really tugging at me- you're right- one of the "holes" for me, anyway, is actually the compulsion to drink and the need to combat that at every turn- I don't miss it, but let's face it, it kept me busy. I don't feel that need to sit on SR for hours or ponder why I drank or what my motivation for this or that is. I have gotten good advice here, though- keep going, life will open up, be patient, have gratitude- and a very astute friend said to me today- "Feel it ALL- good and bad- it's not much of a ride without any ups and downs."
I know what I want, I'm just having some impatience while I wait for it- and doing what I can to be the best person I can so that I may embrace it when it comes my way. At least now, sober and so much more secure than I've ever been as a grown person, I can see opportunities when they knock.
Sorry that you are having a dark day, SS. Tomorrow will be better.
James- Of course you're right- thanks the supportive and kind words. I appreciate them. I'm enjoying Portuguese- it's a labor of amor. It took me sooooo long to get here- and I'm certainly a work in progress- I forget that part all the time.
Lynn- I hope things settle for you- use those detachment skills! "I love you, but maybe not your behavior right now" type of thing... Then do that breathing. And maybe a walk.
Anyone watch my movie rec? It's worth it, I promise!!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Ditto Vikings movies recommendation. Wonderful…..
Well, dork here got a metal splinter in her eye, stubborn Free argued, denied, avoided Dr Frees medical opinion that I needed MORE than urgent care yesterday. So, using the Dr card, he got me in at 4 pm to an eye surgeon, who dug the metal out of my eye.
James, I’m not at home, I’m in MN, frantically trying to get daughter condominium ready for carpet this Friday.
The show must go on…….sore eye or not. Lesson learned? S A F. E. T. Y. GLASSES, Free. Tout le temps!
Off to taping, spackling, pressing, measuring etc.
Well, dork here got a metal splinter in her eye, stubborn Free argued, denied, avoided Dr Frees medical opinion that I needed MORE than urgent care yesterday. So, using the Dr card, he got me in at 4 pm to an eye surgeon, who dug the metal out of my eye.
James, I’m not at home, I’m in MN, frantically trying to get daughter condominium ready for carpet this Friday.
The show must go on…….sore eye or not. Lesson learned? S A F. E. T. Y. GLASSES, Free. Tout le temps!
Off to taping, spackling, pressing, measuring etc.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,345
Metal sliver in my eye two days ago, I can taste the antibiotic ointment 🤢🤮
Pushing onward with the condo, carpet installation is scheduled for Friday
Grateful my body is sore and I remember why, it’s NOT because I can’t remember a drunken fall or stumble. Good feeling. No groaning, hobby’s elderly a parents still don’t moan and groan, therefore I WONT.
Grateful for all of you here, I know you are all here, , busy working on those sober muscles, working on yourselves as we navigate our new freedom and lives.
Ahh, to be responsible, aware, conscious, and to feel feelings. To getting stuff accomplished, to being honest with ourselves and others, to do good.
It’s fun, yes? Yes and no. Thankful we have the time and money to help daughter.
Pushing onward with the condo, carpet installation is scheduled for Friday
Grateful my body is sore and I remember why, it’s NOT because I can’t remember a drunken fall or stumble. Good feeling. No groaning, hobby’s elderly a parents still don’t moan and groan, therefore I WONT.
Grateful for all of you here, I know you are all here, , busy working on those sober muscles, working on yourselves as we navigate our new freedom and lives.
Ahh, to be responsible, aware, conscious, and to feel feelings. To getting stuff accomplished, to being honest with ourselves and others, to do good.
It’s fun, yes? Yes and no. Thankful we have the time and money to help daughter.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Hey everyone.
Just came from my final post op eye appointment. The vision is much better, not where it should be, but it is what it is. This is where it will stay. I can have lasic surgery on the eye in about 6 months, or just go with new glasses now or possibly contacts in 30 days or of course, both glasses and contacts. I opted to go with new glasses for now and went right to the optometry department and picked out frames. They will be ready in about 7-10 days. In 30 days, I will visit with the optometrist to see if contacts are an option. Mr. LHW thinks I should consider the lasic surgery but I will do that down the road. Glasses and contacts are not a big deal for me. I've always worn glasses, so there will be no adjustment period for me. Just looking forward to having my sight back to normal.
Very worried about my friends who live in Ft. Myers, Florida. They opted to stay put during the hurricane despite a mandatory evacuation order. Seems a lot of people in the area did the same, since it was supposed to go right up to the Panhandle. Well, it turned East instead and they were in the direct line of it. We have not heard a word from them since early yesterday morning but can see from watching the news that they are likely without power and cell service. There are apparently hundreds of fatalities. There was one aerial video clip of a neighborhood right near theirs and it was flattened beyond belief. I am cautiously optimistic they are safe, but they live in an old home which likely couldn't withstand 155 mph sustained winds. Well, new or old, likely not many homes could withstand 155 mph sustained winds without sustaining any damage. Hopefully I will hear from them soon.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Bye for now.
Just came from my final post op eye appointment. The vision is much better, not where it should be, but it is what it is. This is where it will stay. I can have lasic surgery on the eye in about 6 months, or just go with new glasses now or possibly contacts in 30 days or of course, both glasses and contacts. I opted to go with new glasses for now and went right to the optometry department and picked out frames. They will be ready in about 7-10 days. In 30 days, I will visit with the optometrist to see if contacts are an option. Mr. LHW thinks I should consider the lasic surgery but I will do that down the road. Glasses and contacts are not a big deal for me. I've always worn glasses, so there will be no adjustment period for me. Just looking forward to having my sight back to normal.
Very worried about my friends who live in Ft. Myers, Florida. They opted to stay put during the hurricane despite a mandatory evacuation order. Seems a lot of people in the area did the same, since it was supposed to go right up to the Panhandle. Well, it turned East instead and they were in the direct line of it. We have not heard a word from them since early yesterday morning but can see from watching the news that they are likely without power and cell service. There are apparently hundreds of fatalities. There was one aerial video clip of a neighborhood right near theirs and it was flattened beyond belief. I am cautiously optimistic they are safe, but they live in an old home which likely couldn't withstand 155 mph sustained winds. Well, new or old, likely not many homes could withstand 155 mph sustained winds without sustaining any damage. Hopefully I will hear from them soon.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Bye for now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
LHW, I’m happy to hear your vision has improved slightly, the glasses aren’t too much of an adjustment, and you have some options in the future. I hope your friends are ok. I will be thinking of them and praying for good news.
Free, I hope things work out for your daughter.
Free, I hope things work out for your daughter.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
Hey all, so I’m learning a lot of tough lessons lately. Lessons of I’m not the savior it’s not all on my shoulders to figure out. For instance at work I’m supposed to be off boarding functions to move into the researcher role I’ve been trying to get for a long time but I’m finding it hard to let go of my informal leader role that I took on by myself with my current team. I think a big ego problem I have is getting very frustrated by taking on too much work and then not getting credit for it or it’s work that’s not viewed as that impactful. It’s like I put a ton of pressure on myself and take on efforts and it’s overlooked by management. I wrote up my year end review with a separate spreadsheet that outlined 15 efforts (outside my regular responsibilities) and their impact and feedback I’ve received because it’s just so hard to get visibility in this group. I’ve been really advocating for myself but part of me is like I maybe the work I’ve done isn’t a big deal to this group. I’m really ready to move into the researcher role and put an end to my operational experience. I have a lot of operational experience and I’m just ready for the next chapter. I’m feeling very in between at work and in life with the baby on it’s way. It’ll all work out and I’ll get there eventually. I just have to be patient.
sorry if the above doesn’t make too much sense. I’m finding I’m struggling to articulate what I’m feeling. Maybe it’s the baby brain I’ve been hearing about.
sorry if the above doesn’t make too much sense. I’m finding I’m struggling to articulate what I’m feeling. Maybe it’s the baby brain I’ve been hearing about.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,535
You make perfect sense, dear Bodhi. 
s
And I want to say: I think it is a huge deal that you advocate for yourself in the way you do. That takes time, courage, and effort. And you are doing it all with baby hormones. I think you are pretty awesome, love. xx
sAnd I want to say: I think it is a huge deal that you advocate for yourself in the way you do. That takes time, courage, and effort. And you are doing it all with baby hormones. I think you are pretty awesome, love. xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Bodhi, thanks for your kind words...I am glad I can see a few posts above and below my last written one. Hopefully my glasses arrive sooner rather than later and I can spend time reading more than I can right now!
Anyway, your comments make total sense to me. My sense is you have to do a "360 review", which I used to have to do. Touting your own accomplishments and hoping management realizes the extent of your contributions all the while they get feedback from your team mates. Regardless, I have come to realize we have to "toot our own horn" because no one else will. I learned that the hard way. Keep up the good work! It will all pay off.
And PS - I never got to tell you how happy I am that "Baby Bodhi" is on the way. We all can't wait.
LHW
Anyway, your comments make total sense to me. My sense is you have to do a "360 review", which I used to have to do. Touting your own accomplishments and hoping management realizes the extent of your contributions all the while they get feedback from your team mates. Regardless, I have come to realize we have to "toot our own horn" because no one else will. I learned that the hard way. Keep up the good work! It will all pay off.
And PS - I never got to tell you how happy I am that "Baby Bodhi" is on the way. We all can't wait.
LHW
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,837
Thank you Venus!
It's good to be back here....even if part time for the next 10 days. It's been just awful, but I surived and I am still forever grateful I can still see...even if not up to my high standards. LOL. The "fanatic" that I am. LOL.
I just ordered new sunglasses online while I wait for my regular glasses from my doctor's office. The doc's office wanted over $500 for prescription sunglasses and I found them online for less than $75. Worth a try to see if they are up the same quality.
Anyway, Mr. LHW and I are heading out on vacation in a few weeks for our first wedding anniversary and I want to be sure I can help with the driving! We are heading to coastal South Carolina for 2 weeks in mid October. Will be about a 12-14 hour drive and if we don't do it all in one day, we will break it up.
Talk to you all later on!
LHW
It's good to be back here....even if part time for the next 10 days. It's been just awful, but I surived and I am still forever grateful I can still see...even if not up to my high standards. LOL. The "fanatic" that I am. LOL.
I just ordered new sunglasses online while I wait for my regular glasses from my doctor's office. The doc's office wanted over $500 for prescription sunglasses and I found them online for less than $75. Worth a try to see if they are up the same quality.
Anyway, Mr. LHW and I are heading out on vacation in a few weeks for our first wedding anniversary and I want to be sure I can help with the driving! We are heading to coastal South Carolina for 2 weeks in mid October. Will be about a 12-14 hour drive and if we don't do it all in one day, we will break it up.
Talk to you all later on!
LHW
Member
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Litchfield, SC
Posts: 585
Bodhi--I hear you, and I know I'm coming from a very different place and background...but sincere question: if, in ~6 months time you are sober and with a brand new baby...what else is really important in comparison?
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