tootsl1

Babs Sounds like the 'getting along' is all based around how hubby reacts, what about you and your feelings?

Saskia

Babs *hugs*! What Suze and Toots said speaks for me, too.

Babs1234

I know I do have to get firmer but, it's not physical it's just like we can't speak to each other before there's a blow up.
again, it's probably a rough time right now.
Thank you for listening...I appreciate your support sooo much..
Babs

tootsl1

I make a lot of allowances for the stress hubbys work puts him under he's dealing with a project in the millions. I do occasionally pull him up for the way he speaks to me and calmly tell him I don't deserve to be spoken to that way. I rarely blow up back at him, but as it's infrequent that sometimes shocks him into niceness!
As we have sold our house subject to contract, and as yet have nowhere to go, I'm getting pretty stressed myself. Even a regular house sale and move is stress, throw in the uncertainties of our next home and it pumps it up another notch.

Saskia

Lots of *hugs* to all!

Babs1234

yes, i have a hard time being quiet....but, when the voice goes up and it turns into yelling
I'm learning to just walk away.\
It's tough being me.
Babs

tootsl1

A quiet "I don't deserve this disrespect" as you walk away works wonders you are preventing a potential argument from escalating, taking the moral high ground and leaving them holding their bad behaviour. It works.

digdug

Just checking in. I'm almost 3 months nicotine free. I'm still getting cravings - way worse than alcohol. I keep reaching for a vaporizer that isn't there and then I'm like, "whoops; I don't do that anymore."

Had my first flight nicotine free in ages. I was bad and would vape in the bathroom and sometimes in my seat (no one cared in first class). But I had to be focused on my son (his first flight) so that made things easier. I also just finished a day trip to NYC for work. Only 4 more months of my current job and then I go back to my old job. I'm actually kind of excited - I was assured that I wouldn't have to travel much. That's really my only dealbreaker at this point. I just want to be there for my family. My son starts his new therapy sessions next week so happy about that.

Dee74

congrats on being nicotine free DD
Continued best wishes to you and your son!
D

Saskia

That’s great, DD! After I got through the first year nicotine-free, I’ve never wanted to go back. Our children can be great motivators.

(((Babs)))! Ultimately I believe that if we don’t stand up for ourselves, in many cases nobody else will. That doesn’t necessarily mean fighting - it takes two - but walking away is an option. Sending loads of hugs.

tootsl1

Sass I figured that out too! It would be so nice to have someone following us around through life just say 'hey you stop being mean to -' it's so easy to stand up for someone else when we see an injustice yet we never seek the same for ourselves.

DD good going on the nicotine free for 3 months that's flown by ( perhaps not so much for you!) the cravings will ease and become a distant memory just as the drinking/drugs cravings did.

Still waiting to know if we have a home to move to in 6 weeks. We are still looking while we wait a response to our offer, we hope to hear something tomorrow.

Saskia

Toots, I hope you’ve heard/will hear soon

PhoenixJ

prayers babs

tootsl1

Our offer was accepted! I guess we will be flat-dwellers soon!

PhoenixJ

Congrats toots

Duffster

Congratulations, Toots! That’s great news.

PhoenixJ

I shared with my 2 adult sons (who always message back/are friendly, but still a bit wary of f2f), I am over 2000 days sober...came reply from youngest 'I am proud of you Dad'. I replied 'thankyou that means more to me, coming from you, than anyone else, except your brother, I care for you both a great deal'.
Came the reply, 'I know'...from both sons...very grateful

I have posted this all over

too much?

nah.....

Saskia

Not too much, PJ! You’re doing the “shouting from the treetops” that we all like to do in one form or another when we feel understandably great about something very important to us!

tootsl1

Congratulations on attaining 2000+ days of sobriety Peej, I bet you couldn't have imagined back in your drinking days the place you are in and the person you have become. I'm so glad your sons can see the 'you' you were meant to be. Had you died back then, their only memories of you would have been of that father. Now they are starting to find their feet in a relationship with Peej 2.0 I'm so happy for you all.

As I don't have enough to do organising and packing for the move, I'm making a flying visit to Spain Saturday through Thursday so we can get the roof mended and a sofa delivered and I can check on and tidy the house. Then a few days after I get back I'm travelling south for a visit with mum as I don't know when else I would get time. Once I return, it will be all steam ahead for the move (less a week out for stewarding the 150th golf Open at St Andrews the week before our actual move!)

Dee74

awesome mate
D