Class of April 2018 Part 17
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hey Kids!! 🐍
Over 3 years and 6 months sober for me. I’m struggling with the winter here. It’s awful. I’m trying a new antidepressant. I need this unrelenting back and forth indecision gone. Ruminating. But the apartment is ok and everything is basically good.
I’m 51 and going on 52 in March and I still want to start my life up. I’m so turned off being on public money which limits me in every way. I don’t want to give up. Hopefully the new Zoloft will help me get things done.
its interesting… I reached out to my Ex of 25 years ago and she’s single (divorced) and just 25 minutes away. We started talking on Facebook and then I went to her house. Now we are texting a lot and talking on the phone for long periods. I’ve been to her place about 5 times. It’s nice to have this wonderful caring person back in my life. I needed a good friend. We lived together for 4 years so there’s no awkwardness. We know each other so well. Even though it was so long ago, it’s very familiar. I love her very much, but most likely this will be a friendship and that’s totally fine by me. We already have a good little friendship back. And it’s still cute, we’re still cute together (I think). It’s all play.
Erratic, keep coming back. It will work.
Suze you know I got your back!! 💜
I’ll get back sooner.
VIPER
Over 3 years and 6 months sober for me. I’m struggling with the winter here. It’s awful. I’m trying a new antidepressant. I need this unrelenting back and forth indecision gone. Ruminating. But the apartment is ok and everything is basically good.
I’m 51 and going on 52 in March and I still want to start my life up. I’m so turned off being on public money which limits me in every way. I don’t want to give up. Hopefully the new Zoloft will help me get things done.
its interesting… I reached out to my Ex of 25 years ago and she’s single (divorced) and just 25 minutes away. We started talking on Facebook and then I went to her house. Now we are texting a lot and talking on the phone for long periods. I’ve been to her place about 5 times. It’s nice to have this wonderful caring person back in my life. I needed a good friend. We lived together for 4 years so there’s no awkwardness. We know each other so well. Even though it was so long ago, it’s very familiar. I love her very much, but most likely this will be a friendship and that’s totally fine by me. We already have a good little friendship back. And it’s still cute, we’re still cute together (I think). It’s all play.
Erratic, keep coming back. It will work.
Suze you know I got your back!! 💜
I’ll get back sooner.
VIPER
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
great to hear from u viper xx glad things are working out with new ladyfriend x and wow congrats on ur time also x
nothing much to write about, did work yesterday and came home and had dinner. still not feeling to great today, guess from being unwell anyway on friday and then stupid drinking sat, my body is trying to fight for itself. day 2 here, caught up with my journal and having a latte, see how that sits with my guts.plan on actually making dinner today which i havent cooked properly for a while unless it was a roast. so little changes build big changes i guess? on my 100 days thing is today its about trade off. for the little so called pleasure of drinking to the trade off being way bigger which is hangover, relationships, life basicaly so its not really a fair swap is it? so was interesting to read. anyway will leave it there.oh one more thing i guess i may make effort in going to the meeting on tuesday. need to get back into that kind of thing.
have good day and thanks for listening u lovely people xx
nothing much to write about, did work yesterday and came home and had dinner. still not feeling to great today, guess from being unwell anyway on friday and then stupid drinking sat, my body is trying to fight for itself. day 2 here, caught up with my journal and having a latte, see how that sits with my guts.plan on actually making dinner today which i havent cooked properly for a while unless it was a roast. so little changes build big changes i guess? on my 100 days thing is today its about trade off. for the little so called pleasure of drinking to the trade off being way bigger which is hangover, relationships, life basicaly so its not really a fair swap is it? so was interesting to read. anyway will leave it there.oh one more thing i guess i may make effort in going to the meeting on tuesday. need to get back into that kind of thing.
have good day and thanks for listening u lovely people xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey guys
so good to see you Viper and congrats on your sober time that is awesome!
hey erratic, I hope you are ok?
ok so where am I?
I’ve been listening to DR Gabor Mate on you tube and it’s really helping me. He talks about the connection between pain and addiction. I’ve been sitting here today reflecting on this. When I was in my teens I didn’t drink. Well actually I did drink now and then but never alcoholicly , maybe just one or 2 drinks when I went out. It was only after I had a painful experience at the age of 18 that I started drinking more and I believe it was because I was using alcohol to self medicate. And of course drinking the way I was starts playing havoc with your life so there were more painful experiences that I buried deep down on top of my first one.
now my mum has passed and I am so full of pain. The steps of AA helped me a lot in terms of seeing where I had been wrong and I got a chance to make some amends which was brilliant but I am realising now it never treated the underlying cause. Which is emotional pain.
so I believe that some therapy with a trained counsellor is in order. I have to face my pain and deal with it. Only then will (I feel) be able to completely break the chains of addiction. Because when I drink I drink because I want oblivion. I don’t want to be in my own head.
I thought alcohol for me was a way to socialise and have fun but that could not be further from the truth. It was a way to escape myself.
i am feeling quite positive and hopeful today. At this time I have no desire to drink. I am done with escaping. I need to really start healing properly.
So that’s me. Start healing and start living
lots of love
so good to see you Viper and congrats on your sober time that is awesome!
hey erratic, I hope you are ok?
ok so where am I?
I’ve been listening to DR Gabor Mate on you tube and it’s really helping me. He talks about the connection between pain and addiction. I’ve been sitting here today reflecting on this. When I was in my teens I didn’t drink. Well actually I did drink now and then but never alcoholicly , maybe just one or 2 drinks when I went out. It was only after I had a painful experience at the age of 18 that I started drinking more and I believe it was because I was using alcohol to self medicate. And of course drinking the way I was starts playing havoc with your life so there were more painful experiences that I buried deep down on top of my first one.
now my mum has passed and I am so full of pain. The steps of AA helped me a lot in terms of seeing where I had been wrong and I got a chance to make some amends which was brilliant but I am realising now it never treated the underlying cause. Which is emotional pain.
so I believe that some therapy with a trained counsellor is in order. I have to face my pain and deal with it. Only then will (I feel) be able to completely break the chains of addiction. Because when I drink I drink because I want oblivion. I don’t want to be in my own head.
I thought alcohol for me was a way to socialise and have fun but that could not be further from the truth. It was a way to escape myself.
i am feeling quite positive and hopeful today. At this time I have no desire to drink. I am done with escaping. I need to really start healing properly.
So that’s me. Start healing and start living
lots of love
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
evening x
wow snitch u do sound so good its lovely to hear.
day 3 and i can actually join u in saying some positive things i did today aswell. I went to that meeting i did last year and was really good to see the people there, we are going to meet up on sunday to do a NA meeting as was told its not just about drugs its also about alcohol as they see that as a drug so its not like AA only alcohol. however i did ask if we could start up a meeting over the weekend where we do the tue meeting, so lady said she will look into what can be done. so thats 1 positive step, second one is i left with that lady and we sore that there was a local walk in for vaccine and booster so we both went in and got our boosters. 3rd positive is i took my tablet again. so im happy ive been more productive in doing things.
so wanted to share that and hope ur day went well snitch xx
catch u all later x
wow snitch u do sound so good its lovely to hear.
day 3 and i can actually join u in saying some positive things i did today aswell. I went to that meeting i did last year and was really good to see the people there, we are going to meet up on sunday to do a NA meeting as was told its not just about drugs its also about alcohol as they see that as a drug so its not like AA only alcohol. however i did ask if we could start up a meeting over the weekend where we do the tue meeting, so lady said she will look into what can be done. so thats 1 positive step, second one is i left with that lady and we sore that there was a local walk in for vaccine and booster so we both went in and got our boosters. 3rd positive is i took my tablet again. so im happy ive been more productive in doing things.
so wanted to share that and hope ur day went well snitch xx
catch u all later x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Good afternoon lovelies, I didn't mean to leave it this long, I hope you're all okay. I'm fine, just the usual goings on keeping me busy. I went to Liverpool dental hospital last Monday to recommence the restorative work on my teeth that should have been done 2 years ago, but Covid put it all on hold. My teeth have deteriorated a bit over that time, but thankfully they can still use the same moulds. I've got 3, maybe 4, 3 hour long appointments in March and then hopefully it'll mostly be over. It's been a long wait.
I had my booster jab on Wednesday and that was all fine, just a sore arm for a couple of day and that's it. I'm all done for now.
Good to see you Viper and well done on your sober time. You've done so well. It's very cold and damp here too, roll on spring, I don't cope with being cold very well either. It's nice that you've reconnected with an old girlfriend and it sounds like its all going well. Lets watch this space
Suze, I'm glad you've been listening to Dr Gabor Mate, it all sounds very interesting and makes perfect sense. I can understand perfectly the connection between pain and addiction, it makes sense. I think some therapy with a trained counsellor could be just what you need, go for it. Do whatever you need to do.
I hope you're okay Erratic and I hope you' ve had a few more sober days since your last post. Well done on doing something positive for yourself and going to that meeting, that's a step in the right direction. Did you manage to get to one today? I hope you were okay after your booster jab, it's another thing done and dusted. I find that being productive does make me feel better in myself.
I hope everything is going well for you Dee, are you heading into Autumn now? Cooler days must be a relief.
I'm off for a peruse now, back soon. Enjoy the rest of the day.
Lots of love xx
I had my booster jab on Wednesday and that was all fine, just a sore arm for a couple of day and that's it. I'm all done for now.
Good to see you Viper and well done on your sober time. You've done so well. It's very cold and damp here too, roll on spring, I don't cope with being cold very well either. It's nice that you've reconnected with an old girlfriend and it sounds like its all going well. Lets watch this space
Suze, I'm glad you've been listening to Dr Gabor Mate, it all sounds very interesting and makes perfect sense. I can understand perfectly the connection between pain and addiction, it makes sense. I think some therapy with a trained counsellor could be just what you need, go for it. Do whatever you need to do.
I hope you're okay Erratic and I hope you' ve had a few more sober days since your last post. Well done on doing something positive for yourself and going to that meeting, that's a step in the right direction. Did you manage to get to one today? I hope you were okay after your booster jab, it's another thing done and dusted. I find that being productive does make me feel better in myself.
I hope everything is going well for you Dee, are you heading into Autumn now? Cooler days must be a relief.
I'm off for a peruse now, back soon. Enjoy the rest of the day.
Lots of love xx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x
good to see u daisy and yeah i went to NA meeting yesterday it was actually really good as they didnt go into the higher power kind of thing or god wasnt even mentioned which again was relief.
I am back to day 1 today, i didnt make it again on friday and i drank which arrghh its driving me mental as im trying my best to break that day cycle and trigger.I just looked up that there is a NA meeting on friday at 8pm which at that time my trigger time at 4 is well before then. My daughter has been phoning me and is going to push me to take tablet which regardless i had drink last night is i will take tablet today even if i get sick.it will serve me right if i get sick. but daughter says that i shouldnt punish myself further but i have to do something or the drink is going to right me off. sry im rambling now. again sry for not getting this and sticking to it. i really thought jan was going to be my month. which i know its not done but its only a week to go and its feb!!
anyway will leave it there is im just feeling sry for myself and i need some tough love i think
good to see u daisy and yeah i went to NA meeting yesterday it was actually really good as they didnt go into the higher power kind of thing or god wasnt even mentioned which again was relief.
I am back to day 1 today, i didnt make it again on friday and i drank which arrghh its driving me mental as im trying my best to break that day cycle and trigger.I just looked up that there is a NA meeting on friday at 8pm which at that time my trigger time at 4 is well before then. My daughter has been phoning me and is going to push me to take tablet which regardless i had drink last night is i will take tablet today even if i get sick.it will serve me right if i get sick. but daughter says that i shouldnt punish myself further but i have to do something or the drink is going to right me off. sry im rambling now. again sry for not getting this and sticking to it. i really thought jan was going to be my month. which i know its not done but its only a week to go and its feb!!
anyway will leave it there is im just feeling sry for myself and i need some tough love i think
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Your right dee i need to be more willing x thanks for taking time to reply. you must get sick of hearing same old crap dee? but saying that your a nice guy and you stick with us x we are really lucky to have you.and everyone else who helps us x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hello people !
So nice to see you posts from you all!
Daisy yes so glad you can finally get your teeth sorted! It has been a long wait for sure but at the same time , time flies right!
Errqtic, never give up. I am not tired of you at all , I’m glad you are here and still trying. I got it when I got it.!
HI Dee, luckily you in your summer time. It’s grey and but bleak here but it’s actually been a really mild winter to be honest. May turn colder in feb who knows,
Guys I am doing really well!
i have completely knocked AA on the head. I was doing some meetings but oh my God the negativity. Look, it was great for a time, I had support and I worked through the steps and know myself better for it and have made my amends. I am so thankful for that. But that’s it/ I don’t want to continue going on meetings. I do not want to go through the steps again.
my friend recommended watching The Secret. I did and it has changed my life! I have got the book and never read it. I have been practicing positive affirmations everyday. Putting it out there to the universe. We are what we think right? I don’t pray for a sober day any more. I wake up and I say “I am so happy I am sober and present and can feel ALL my feelings today, good and bad”. I feel so much more positive and I am just going to keep practising this stuff and learn more and and and and!!!!I just feel like I’ve had new life breathes into me! I am eating well and exercising. I am starting an online counselling course tomorrow. I am getting my flat sorted so I can either put on the market or rent out. Either way we will be moving this year!
i have no desire to drink at all. I don’t feel I need or want it.
I know my mum is looking down on me and smiling and I owe it to her , to Seren and to myself to live my best life.
ok guys that’s me, I’ll check in again soon!
we are all on this journey called life aren’t we, and I do believe it is about the journey and not the destination.
have a lovely day all xxx
So nice to see you posts from you all!
Daisy yes so glad you can finally get your teeth sorted! It has been a long wait for sure but at the same time , time flies right!
Errqtic, never give up. I am not tired of you at all , I’m glad you are here and still trying. I got it when I got it.!
HI Dee, luckily you in your summer time. It’s grey and but bleak here but it’s actually been a really mild winter to be honest. May turn colder in feb who knows,
Guys I am doing really well!
i have completely knocked AA on the head. I was doing some meetings but oh my God the negativity. Look, it was great for a time, I had support and I worked through the steps and know myself better for it and have made my amends. I am so thankful for that. But that’s it/ I don’t want to continue going on meetings. I do not want to go through the steps again.
my friend recommended watching The Secret. I did and it has changed my life! I have got the book and never read it. I have been practicing positive affirmations everyday. Putting it out there to the universe. We are what we think right? I don’t pray for a sober day any more. I wake up and I say “I am so happy I am sober and present and can feel ALL my feelings today, good and bad”. I feel so much more positive and I am just going to keep practising this stuff and learn more and and and and!!!!I just feel like I’ve had new life breathes into me! I am eating well and exercising. I am starting an online counselling course tomorrow. I am getting my flat sorted so I can either put on the market or rent out. Either way we will be moving this year!
i have no desire to drink at all. I don’t feel I need or want it.
I know my mum is looking down on me and smiling and I owe it to her , to Seren and to myself to live my best life.
ok guys that’s me, I’ll check in again soon!
we are all on this journey called life aren’t we, and I do believe it is about the journey and not the destination.
have a lovely day all xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
wow snitch what a lovely post you made i am really happy for you x will have a sneak look at the secret myself xx
i thought i would reply about the weather topic, we have had a number of blue skies here which is unusual but in a nice way and miild also. saw the weather forcast though for wed and its rain, so im lucky to be getting blue skies.
hope u have nice day also snitch xx
i thought i would reply about the weather topic, we have had a number of blue skies here which is unusual but in a nice way and miild also. saw the weather forcast though for wed and its rain, so im lucky to be getting blue skies.
hope u have nice day also snitch xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
I'm not jealous Dee that you've still got some weeks of summer to go, really I'm not, honestly 
, well only a little bit then. It's just sooooo cold here today.
Thanks Erratic and it's good to see you too. I'm glad you made it to the NA meeting yesterday and it sounds like you quite enjoyed it too. I agree with Dee, you need more support, all the support you can get really, you can never have too much. Posting here more often is a good way of getting extra support too. I would just love for you to stay sober, we all would, we care very much about you.
Sue, it's lovely to read such a positive post, I'm happy for you. I can't remember if I've read The Secret, if I have it must have been a good while ago. I'll check it out just in case. It's wonderful too that you are making plans for the future, it sounds like you're making your way out of that dark tunnel. I'm sure everything will work out for you.
Got to go, it's almost time to leave for the school run.
Lots of love to you all xxx
Stay safe xxx
, well only a little bit then. It's just sooooo cold here today.Thanks Erratic and it's good to see you too. I'm glad you made it to the NA meeting yesterday and it sounds like you quite enjoyed it too. I agree with Dee, you need more support, all the support you can get really, you can never have too much. Posting here more often is a good way of getting extra support too. I would just love for you to stay sober, we all would, we care very much about you.
Sue, it's lovely to read such a positive post, I'm happy for you. I can't remember if I've read The Secret, if I have it must have been a good while ago. I'll check it out just in case. It's wonderful too that you are making plans for the future, it sounds like you're making your way out of that dark tunnel. I'm sure everything will work out for you.
Got to go, it's almost time to leave for the school run.
Lots of love to you all xxx
Stay safe xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Morning guys thank you for your lovely replies.
yes I am so glad that I am making my way out, it has been bleak.
i forgot to say I have also been listening to a woman called Marissa Peer. Check her out she is on you tube and is amazing.
Erratic when those urges come they feel very powerful and it is easy to act on them. Brain telling you have a drink and you have a drink. I lived that way for years. The urges are uncomfortable but they won’t kill you and they won’t last. I read somewhere recently that instead of trying to ignore them, actually recognise what you are feeling. Tell yourself ok this is an urge for a drink but I am not going to give in to it and it will pass. You could even break it down more and say I’m not going to give in I will wait 10 mins and see how I feel then. Alcohol will always be there. Then distract yourself. Come and post here. Pick up the phone to your daughter. Go on the AA or NA 24 hour zoom. Listen to something positive on you tube or a podcast. Read a book. Clean your oven. Do a crossword. The urge WILL pass. I felt like I wanted to rip my face off sometimes with those urges but the only way to come out the other side is to get THROUGH them and it is possible and it does get easier I absolutely promise you that . You can always message me or call me!! that is the way I did it. Anything but drink!! Have you read alcohol explained by William Porter? That’s a great book I definitely recommend it.
Daisy how is your mum and how are your grandkids? Also, dare I ask, are things all going smoothly with your son? I hope you are looking after yourself too Lovey!
Seren has woken up full of cold and a hacking cough. She doesn’t want to go in and I am going to keep her off but I do worry a bit as she has missed so much school. I always think I can get her a tutor if she needs any extra help. Things work out don’t they? I’m glad I am not a hungover mum trying to look after her today.
ive also met someone! Well, someone has come into my life and it’s early days but he is definitely putting a smile on my face 😊 and I am enrolling on a level 2 counselling course tomorrow. It’s more for my benefit than for any future job but I am looking forward to it.
I miss my mum so much but I know with my heart and soul she would want me to be happy and I speak to her a lot. Some days the tears come. It’s something you have to learn to live with. I do believe that she is now with her own mum and dad and family that have passed along the years and that I will see her again and that brings me comfort.
anyway everything feels pretty good at the moment. Plus I’m actually getting on much better with Seren’s dad. Boundaries still up but definitely by changing my outlook and my thoughts everything around me feels so much better .
ok need to get up have so much to do today!
have a great day.
Erratic, take your tablet and reach out! We got you!!
xxx
yes I am so glad that I am making my way out, it has been bleak.
i forgot to say I have also been listening to a woman called Marissa Peer. Check her out she is on you tube and is amazing.
Erratic when those urges come they feel very powerful and it is easy to act on them. Brain telling you have a drink and you have a drink. I lived that way for years. The urges are uncomfortable but they won’t kill you and they won’t last. I read somewhere recently that instead of trying to ignore them, actually recognise what you are feeling. Tell yourself ok this is an urge for a drink but I am not going to give in to it and it will pass. You could even break it down more and say I’m not going to give in I will wait 10 mins and see how I feel then. Alcohol will always be there. Then distract yourself. Come and post here. Pick up the phone to your daughter. Go on the AA or NA 24 hour zoom. Listen to something positive on you tube or a podcast. Read a book. Clean your oven. Do a crossword. The urge WILL pass. I felt like I wanted to rip my face off sometimes with those urges but the only way to come out the other side is to get THROUGH them and it is possible and it does get easier I absolutely promise you that . You can always message me or call me!! that is the way I did it. Anything but drink!! Have you read alcohol explained by William Porter? That’s a great book I definitely recommend it.
Daisy how is your mum and how are your grandkids? Also, dare I ask, are things all going smoothly with your son? I hope you are looking after yourself too Lovey!
Seren has woken up full of cold and a hacking cough. She doesn’t want to go in and I am going to keep her off but I do worry a bit as she has missed so much school. I always think I can get her a tutor if she needs any extra help. Things work out don’t they? I’m glad I am not a hungover mum trying to look after her today.
ive also met someone! Well, someone has come into my life and it’s early days but he is definitely putting a smile on my face 😊 and I am enrolling on a level 2 counselling course tomorrow. It’s more for my benefit than for any future job but I am looking forward to it.
I miss my mum so much but I know with my heart and soul she would want me to be happy and I speak to her a lot. Some days the tears come. It’s something you have to learn to live with. I do believe that she is now with her own mum and dad and family that have passed along the years and that I will see her again and that brings me comfort.
anyway everything feels pretty good at the moment. Plus I’m actually getting on much better with Seren’s dad. Boundaries still up but definitely by changing my outlook and my thoughts everything around me feels so much better .
ok need to get up have so much to do today!
have a great day.
Erratic, take your tablet and reach out! We got you!!
xxx
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