Class of April 2018 Part 17
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x
thanks snitch again i wil do what u have suggesteed xx hey check u with a new man in ur life x im sure he will keep you smiling or if he dont he will have us to answer to xx jk lol
i am just having an easy day again, i actually did my cards and journal this morn. said i have to be mindfulll and keep in the present moment which i did but in my bed lol as i went and had extra hr in bed this morn. now im sitting here with a caramel latte.will see what old films are on i think aswell.
forgot to say good job on ur starting a course aswell hun x
right going to leave it there and check out more of the forum xx thanks again daisy and snictch and dee for being there for me xx
thanks snitch again i wil do what u have suggesteed xx hey check u with a new man in ur life x im sure he will keep you smiling or if he dont he will have us to answer to xx jk lol
i am just having an easy day again, i actually did my cards and journal this morn. said i have to be mindfulll and keep in the present moment which i did but in my bed lol as i went and had extra hr in bed this morn. now im sitting here with a caramel latte.will see what old films are on i think aswell.
forgot to say good job on ur starting a course aswell hun x
right going to leave it there and check out more of the forum xx thanks again daisy and snictch and dee for being there for me xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi kids,
Erratic, I’m glad you’re drawing. My therapist really wants me drawing, but I can’t make myself do it. I was an artist. I really would love one of the iPad Pros because I can use it for everything and draw and make music on it, but I need a laptop and can’t have both.
I’ll be a bummer on you today.
I got my booster shot today. I feel like crap. I got Moderna even though my other 2 shots are Pfizer as per the instructions of my Ex, who I may have mentioned is a Nurse Vaccinator for the State. I wish I’d become a nurse while I still had my dad here. She makes excellent money.
im on like my 3rd med in the last 2 months to try to get on a new med for my ruminating and such. All these meds suck. My palms are sweaty and I keep waking up all night long. Every one just makes me feel like poop. I never make it to the point where they are therapeutic because I won’t tolerate the side effects.
it’s just the middle of winter and it’s awful on me. It’s been freezing cold and dark. Luckily not much snow this year so far, but it’s generally very cold. My body can’t take it. Today was actually 40 F and sunny and that’s a big difference over 15 or 20. Put me in California or Florida and this stuff everything gets better fast. It’s just not an option at this point.
Things aren’t moving at all. My therapist tells me to just have gratitude right now and not beat myself up, but I have zero time to only lie in bed and sleep and that’s all I can do. At least I get out every day and supposedly that’s commendable, but I’m not feeling it.
Erratic, I’m glad you’re drawing. My therapist really wants me drawing, but I can’t make myself do it. I was an artist. I really would love one of the iPad Pros because I can use it for everything and draw and make music on it, but I need a laptop and can’t have both.
I’ll be a bummer on you today.
I got my booster shot today. I feel like crap. I got Moderna even though my other 2 shots are Pfizer as per the instructions of my Ex, who I may have mentioned is a Nurse Vaccinator for the State. I wish I’d become a nurse while I still had my dad here. She makes excellent money.
im on like my 3rd med in the last 2 months to try to get on a new med for my ruminating and such. All these meds suck. My palms are sweaty and I keep waking up all night long. Every one just makes me feel like poop. I never make it to the point where they are therapeutic because I won’t tolerate the side effects.
it’s just the middle of winter and it’s awful on me. It’s been freezing cold and dark. Luckily not much snow this year so far, but it’s generally very cold. My body can’t take it. Today was actually 40 F and sunny and that’s a big difference over 15 or 20. Put me in California or Florida and this stuff everything gets better fast. It’s just not an option at this point.
Things aren’t moving at all. My therapist tells me to just have gratitude right now and not beat myself up, but I have zero time to only lie in bed and sleep and that’s all I can do. At least I get out every day and supposedly that’s commendable, but I’m not feeling it.
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x
good to see u again viper x i think i may have confused you, when i mean drawing mean coming to the end of the day lol, prob spelt the drawing or wrong word for what i meant. have u ever thought about seeing an art therapist, i used to see one many moons ago. they are rather good and if u like drawing and painting is they work with u on it. I hear u also about being in bed, but hey u got a lovely lady to go and see xxx
day 3 and did my morning journal and cards. will take my tablet again this afternoon. also have to pick up keys for work. so the 2 trigger days is getting near, but i aim to work and go home and stay sober and will post here on those days in the evening.
anyway will pop in later x have great day xx
good to see u again viper x i think i may have confused you, when i mean drawing mean coming to the end of the day lol, prob spelt the drawing or wrong word for what i meant. have u ever thought about seeing an art therapist, i used to see one many moons ago. they are rather good and if u like drawing and painting is they work with u on it. I hear u also about being in bed, but hey u got a lovely lady to go and see xxx
day 3 and did my morning journal and cards. will take my tablet again this afternoon. also have to pick up keys for work. so the 2 trigger days is getting near, but i aim to work and go home and stay sober and will post here on those days in the evening.
anyway will pop in later x have great day xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Ugh guys am sorry to report I have a new sobriety date. The 31st jan. Yesterday.
Ok , so I was in a really good place and the old head said go on you can enjoy some drinks. Ahhhhhh. No. So I ended up drinking Friday night, Saturday night and finished the remainder on sunday.
yeaterday was awful. I had such horrible booze blues and ate crap all day. Feeling better today and had healthy breakfast but the anxiety is still slightly there.
ok, I am not going to beat myself up over this because that will just make me feel even worse. I have to learn from this. That it doesn’t matter if I am on a good place or not, outside factors do not come into it, I cannot drink safely or moderately period. When I drink I drink to get drunk.
I am sooooo thankful that nothing really bad has happened although Seren did see me drunk and I am ashamed of that but I have assured her that it won’t happen again. She said it scared her. Which upsets me. But I needed to hear that.
I think as well alcohol has always been and still is a huge escape mechanism for me. Even though I was in a better place , I still have fears and worries and things going on I need to take care of and so when I drink I just want to forget all about that stuff although as we all know it is still there when we sober up and everything is magnified.
in not going to alone, I am slightly fearful that I feel like this today and then I a week or say 2 weeks, my head will tell me to go on have a drink, so I will be posting here before . I do know how to get through the Cravings and addictive voice. But i do need to remember that although it doesn’t define me, I am alcoholic, and although I don’t agree with a lot in the Big Book I do like the theory that I have an allergy (in the phenomenon of craving) and the obsession of the mind. It’s simple but effective really.
so what is my plan I hear you ask?
Well I am going to continue to read Annie Grace (I stopped) a lot of my drinking is psychological as it probably is for most people, my head tells me it is fun and I am missing out. I think this book will help dispel that myth, even though I know that is not the truth. At least it’s not fun for me. I’m going to journal, make a gratitude list, stay close to SR, attend some smart meetings, and check out a guy I knows recovery programme called sun lotus recovery.
I am definitely not going back to AA however there are many f2f meetings where I live I will pop into one rather than drink anytime even if it is to be around people who want to be sober.
so there we go.
I am going to make my own routine and practice it daily because when I take my foot off the gas I am in trouble.
not sure about the guy I met, he is lovely but he has got a Lm ex wife and child and it’s all a bit complicated and not sure I need that at the moment.
so here is to day 2
Ok , so I was in a really good place and the old head said go on you can enjoy some drinks. Ahhhhhh. No. So I ended up drinking Friday night, Saturday night and finished the remainder on sunday.
yeaterday was awful. I had such horrible booze blues and ate crap all day. Feeling better today and had healthy breakfast but the anxiety is still slightly there.
ok, I am not going to beat myself up over this because that will just make me feel even worse. I have to learn from this. That it doesn’t matter if I am on a good place or not, outside factors do not come into it, I cannot drink safely or moderately period. When I drink I drink to get drunk.
I am sooooo thankful that nothing really bad has happened although Seren did see me drunk and I am ashamed of that but I have assured her that it won’t happen again. She said it scared her. Which upsets me. But I needed to hear that.
I think as well alcohol has always been and still is a huge escape mechanism for me. Even though I was in a better place , I still have fears and worries and things going on I need to take care of and so when I drink I just want to forget all about that stuff although as we all know it is still there when we sober up and everything is magnified.
in not going to alone, I am slightly fearful that I feel like this today and then I a week or say 2 weeks, my head will tell me to go on have a drink, so I will be posting here before . I do know how to get through the Cravings and addictive voice. But i do need to remember that although it doesn’t define me, I am alcoholic, and although I don’t agree with a lot in the Big Book I do like the theory that I have an allergy (in the phenomenon of craving) and the obsession of the mind. It’s simple but effective really.
so what is my plan I hear you ask?
Well I am going to continue to read Annie Grace (I stopped) a lot of my drinking is psychological as it probably is for most people, my head tells me it is fun and I am missing out. I think this book will help dispel that myth, even though I know that is not the truth. At least it’s not fun for me. I’m going to journal, make a gratitude list, stay close to SR, attend some smart meetings, and check out a guy I knows recovery programme called sun lotus recovery.
I am definitely not going back to AA however there are many f2f meetings where I live I will pop into one rather than drink anytime even if it is to be around people who want to be sober.
so there we go.
I am going to make my own routine and practice it daily because when I take my foot off the gas I am in trouble.
not sure about the guy I met, he is lovely but he has got a Lm ex wife and child and it’s all a bit complicated and not sure I need that at the moment.
so here is to day 2
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
afteernoon x
good to see u back suz sry that you came back because u drank if you know what i mean xxx i am doing the 100 days of lasting change by annie grace and as u know ive done a few things of hers. what ever work for you hun xx what is this sun lotus recovery.? never heard of it, i will have a look x sry also ur daughter saw u drunk, my daughter was the same when seeing me drunk and i now understand what it felt like for her which even how hard i try i find it hard to get a dam long stretch x sry x im sure she will feel better once u find ur feet again x you know u can do this and yup that dreaded oh but its fun, its not! at frist it is but then things fall apart. you know urself hun and im sure you can find a routine that will work for you xx great job on day 2 xx im on day 9 x
will keep checking to see if you posted xxx
good to see u back suz sry that you came back because u drank if you know what i mean xxx i am doing the 100 days of lasting change by annie grace and as u know ive done a few things of hers. what ever work for you hun xx what is this sun lotus recovery.? never heard of it, i will have a look x sry also ur daughter saw u drunk, my daughter was the same when seeing me drunk and i now understand what it felt like for her which even how hard i try i find it hard to get a dam long stretch x sry x im sure she will feel better once u find ur feet again x you know u can do this and yup that dreaded oh but its fun, its not! at frist it is but then things fall apart. you know urself hun and im sure you can find a routine that will work for you xx great job on day 2 xx im on day 9 x
will keep checking to see if you posted xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Thanks Erratic I appreciate it and you are right there is no fun! Yes maybe the 1st couple off drinks but then it’s not the alcohol that’s fun is it, it’s fun cos I’m with my friends enjoying their company nothing to do with the alcohol that’s just a perception!! It falls apart really quickly. Talking that first drink for me set off a binge that left me depressed in bed eating **** food and hating myself. Where is the fun in that???
Venus suggested I wrote down all the reason la I think alcohol is fun and put the truth next to them and that’s what I am going to do!
day 3 today and I am buzzing!! Everything is so good in my life at the moment and I genuinely feel happy and positive and that’s because I am sober. I love being sober!! For me the danger is when I am feeling good. When I am upset or angry the last thing I want to do is drink but when I am feeling good my brain tells me a drink will enhance that. BUT IT WONT!!
So the guy I met when I did my alcohol and drug training practices Buddhism and has formed his own recovery group based on that. I keep meaning to take a look but you know what it’s like but no more excuses! I just want to be free of alcohol and loving my best life possible.! I can take the downs with the ups I know it’s not all going to be rosy and that’s ok but want to enjoy the rest of the time I have on this planet.
am on the bus at the moment off to see a friend for a bit. Then pick up a seren and seeing other friends later. I have a lot to be grateful for.
well done Erratic I am proud of you!! Keep going
Venus suggested I wrote down all the reason la I think alcohol is fun and put the truth next to them and that’s what I am going to do!
day 3 today and I am buzzing!! Everything is so good in my life at the moment and I genuinely feel happy and positive and that’s because I am sober. I love being sober!! For me the danger is when I am feeling good. When I am upset or angry the last thing I want to do is drink but when I am feeling good my brain tells me a drink will enhance that. BUT IT WONT!!
So the guy I met when I did my alcohol and drug training practices Buddhism and has formed his own recovery group based on that. I keep meaning to take a look but you know what it’s like but no more excuses! I just want to be free of alcohol and loving my best life possible.! I can take the downs with the ups I know it’s not all going to be rosy and that’s ok but want to enjoy the rest of the time I have on this planet.
am on the bus at the moment off to see a friend for a bit. Then pick up a seren and seeing other friends later. I have a lot to be grateful for.
well done Erratic I am proud of you!! Keep going
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
afternoon x
you do sound upbeat when ur sober and i do hear u when feeling good is that the little devil stricks and says oh what about a drink. im the same for up and down my AV comes at me. i do hope u do what venus suggested, it be interesting to see what u put down. also do what u think is best for your sober journey, if it is the Buddhism practices hey try it i did have a look about what they think of addcition, iits intresting. I was thinking of taking a walk today and pick up keys, but havent done anything about it, weird thing was when taking nap i imagined my walk through the trees and old way i used to take my furbabies, which i still miss very much. hey ho though nothing can do about it. i myself need to push myself and feel nature and ground myself more. anyway just rambling away here. really good to hear from u again, and good job on day 3 im on day 10 now and near my time to take tablet. x have a good time with ur friend xx we both have alot to be grateful about xx
you do sound upbeat when ur sober and i do hear u when feeling good is that the little devil stricks and says oh what about a drink. im the same for up and down my AV comes at me. i do hope u do what venus suggested, it be interesting to see what u put down. also do what u think is best for your sober journey, if it is the Buddhism practices hey try it i did have a look about what they think of addcition, iits intresting. I was thinking of taking a walk today and pick up keys, but havent done anything about it, weird thing was when taking nap i imagined my walk through the trees and old way i used to take my furbabies, which i still miss very much. hey ho though nothing can do about it. i myself need to push myself and feel nature and ground myself more. anyway just rambling away here. really good to hear from u again, and good job on day 3 im on day 10 now and near my time to take tablet. x have a good time with ur friend xx we both have alot to be grateful about xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Hi lovelies, thought it was time I showed my face again. I hope you're all well. All's as okay as it can be with me, I've nothing exciting to report. Oh, actually, I have, but it's not exactly exciting. Mr DB is having to use a Cpap machine at night for his sleep apnoea, it's all to do with long Covid. Anyway he's been wearing it since last Monday and the readings go straight to the hospital. He got a phone call on Thursday informing him that he stops breathing twice per night and he's to carry on wearing it until told otherwise. They said stopping breathing twice per night is good compared to some. It doesn't sound that good to me!
Good to see you Viper and I hope you're feeling better now after your booster. It would be good thing if you could motivate yourself into drawing, I'm sure you'd find it therapeutic and a mood enhancer. I really do hope that you find some meds that work for you and soon.
Take care of yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that you drank again Suze, I feel your pain. It's so hard getting back into it when you relapse after being sober for a good while. I remember when I relapsed that I became somewhat complacent, telling myself after every slip that it wasn't a big deal, I'd start again tomorrow or Monday because I knew what to do. Actually doing it was a different story, it was hard and I struggled a lot at the beginning but it's been worth it, I'm glad I'm doing it.
I think what Venus suggested is a really good idea, I hope you do it.
I'm glad you met some one...... but I agree, I don't think you need complications in your life right now. I think you need to concentrate on you and getting yourself right first and foremost. I hope it's okay for me to say that
.
Hi Erratic, you've been doing really well, you were on day 10 the last time you posted. Have you managed to keep it up? I hope so.
Would you not consider getting another fur baby? I know you love nature and I love the way you talk about walking through the trees in your post above, I'm just thinking that a new pet might give you something more to focus on. I do understand though if you don't want to go through the pain of losing one again though, it's hard.
Hi Dee, though I have nowhere near the sober time that you have, I know that it's the best thing I can do for myself. Absolutely no regrets.
Sleep well all of you
Lots of love xxx
Good to see you Viper and I hope you're feeling better now after your booster. It would be good thing if you could motivate yourself into drawing, I'm sure you'd find it therapeutic and a mood enhancer. I really do hope that you find some meds that work for you and soon.
Take care of yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that you drank again Suze, I feel your pain. It's so hard getting back into it when you relapse after being sober for a good while. I remember when I relapsed that I became somewhat complacent, telling myself after every slip that it wasn't a big deal, I'd start again tomorrow or Monday because I knew what to do. Actually doing it was a different story, it was hard and I struggled a lot at the beginning but it's been worth it, I'm glad I'm doing it.
I think what Venus suggested is a really good idea, I hope you do it.
I'm glad you met some one...... but I agree, I don't think you need complications in your life right now. I think you need to concentrate on you and getting yourself right first and foremost. I hope it's okay for me to say that
. Hi Erratic, you've been doing really well, you were on day 10 the last time you posted. Have you managed to keep it up? I hope so.
Would you not consider getting another fur baby? I know you love nature and I love the way you talk about walking through the trees in your post above, I'm just thinking that a new pet might give you something more to focus on. I do understand though if you don't want to go through the pain of losing one again though, it's hard.
Hi Dee, though I have nowhere near the sober time that you have, I know that it's the best thing I can do for myself. Absolutely no regrets.
Sleep well all of you
Lots of love xxx
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
morning x
good to see u daisy, sry to hear about mr D xx
Im on day 14 now thanks for asking. not much to report, havent been feeling to well past number of days, but hanging in there. watched a couple of films with hub yesterday. going to NA meeting today. so not sure what else i will be doing.
hope u have good sunday xx
good to see u daisy, sry to hear about mr D xx
Im on day 14 now thanks for asking. not much to report, havent been feeling to well past number of days, but hanging in there. watched a couple of films with hub yesterday. going to NA meeting today. so not sure what else i will be doing.
hope u have good sunday xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi guys
good to see you DB, sorry to read that and DB has this from covid. It really affects people differently doesn’t it. I’m glad all is good with you though and yes, you’re right, now I’ve been drinking it is harder to put the plug in the jug!
but I have to keep going. I know how amazing sobriety is and I have made a list of what my head tells me versus the reality. I think the good thing is I know how amazing sobriety is at least now so that’s a plus. Just got to keep putting in the action.
well done Erratic.!
and thanks Dee, you are right , quitting alcohol is the best gift we can give ourselves.
I’ll check in again later
good to see you DB, sorry to read that and DB has this from covid. It really affects people differently doesn’t it. I’m glad all is good with you though and yes, you’re right, now I’ve been drinking it is harder to put the plug in the jug!
but I have to keep going. I know how amazing sobriety is and I have made a list of what my head tells me versus the reality. I think the good thing is I know how amazing sobriety is at least now so that’s a plus. Just got to keep putting in the action.
well done Erratic.!
and thanks Dee, you are right , quitting alcohol is the best gift we can give ourselves.
I’ll check in again later
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