Class of April 2018 Part 17
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi kids.
Snitch I love the Buddhism idea. I know a couple guys that have tiny shrines set in in their house and it’s not all crazy religion stuff, it’s more about burning your incense and saying your mantras and such. I think it’s lovely. That might be Chrishna but it’s very close.
I am struggling. I cannot tolerate any of the psych meds so far. I also have ‘Prostatitis’ which absolutely sucks and they don’t know the cause. It’s trial and error. They are now thinking this is the muscles of the pelvic floor tightening like a fist and causing havoc. They can relieve that sometimes. Or it’s an infection.
I have all these doctors appointments like an old person.
still freezing cold here but this should be winters last blast. At this point nothing can last long. Match should be 50F and sunny as opposed to the 15F and down to Zero, it is at times.
ok hopefully I’ll have a better report soon.
luv you guys
The Viper
Snitch I love the Buddhism idea. I know a couple guys that have tiny shrines set in in their house and it’s not all crazy religion stuff, it’s more about burning your incense and saying your mantras and such. I think it’s lovely. That might be Chrishna but it’s very close.
I am struggling. I cannot tolerate any of the psych meds so far. I also have ‘Prostatitis’ which absolutely sucks and they don’t know the cause. It’s trial and error. They are now thinking this is the muscles of the pelvic floor tightening like a fist and causing havoc. They can relieve that sometimes. Or it’s an infection.
I have all these doctors appointments like an old person.
still freezing cold here but this should be winters last blast. At this point nothing can last long. Match should be 50F and sunny as opposed to the 15F and down to Zero, it is at times.
ok hopefully I’ll have a better report soon.
luv you guys
The Viper
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi guys
long time no post!
How is everyone?
I keep meaning to post and then something comes up
After a bit of a rocky start I am actually doing ok,
I have gone back into the fellowship however I am in CA and slaa
ca is cocaine anonymous although it is not just for cocaine but rather for multi addictions. And slaa is sex and love addicts. Because since I’ve started a relationship with someone I am realising just how messed up I am where it comes to men. I don’t know what it is like to have a proper healthy relationship. I crave affection but then when I get it I’m terrified and push it away.
I net a girl I recognised from AA zoom on a training course I was on and she told me she had entered slaa and it had changed her life. The programme is all about empowering oneself so that you feel while enough by yourself. Hi learn to love yourself and increase your self esteem so you do not need to rely on another person for this. I don’t have a sponsor yet but I have been reading the literature and going to meetings and so far I think it’s brilliant and I am so excited. AA helped me to feel more whole and worthy as a person but since dating I have realise there is a lot more work to be done in that area!
the drink is down. And it is down for good. I have no interest at all in drinking. It is vile and brings nothing to my life except misery. I am still vigilant though. I recognise that I was using the alcohol to mask the pain from losing my mum. It’s time to start the healing process.
seren is good, the piggies are good, the bun buns are good. My family is not too bad despite what we are going through. My little sister is having a baby girl! So my other sister and I will be planning her baby shower soon.
life is about family, friends and love . I feel blessed today to have amazing family and amazing friends. I’m really looking forward to doing more work on myself so I can be fully comfortable in my own skin and enjoy life today.
stil waking in the middle of the night obviously !! But I’m in a good place and I hope everyone else is too.
Check in soon x
long time no post!
How is everyone?
I keep meaning to post and then something comes up
After a bit of a rocky start I am actually doing ok,
I have gone back into the fellowship however I am in CA and slaa
ca is cocaine anonymous although it is not just for cocaine but rather for multi addictions. And slaa is sex and love addicts. Because since I’ve started a relationship with someone I am realising just how messed up I am where it comes to men. I don’t know what it is like to have a proper healthy relationship. I crave affection but then when I get it I’m terrified and push it away.
I net a girl I recognised from AA zoom on a training course I was on and she told me she had entered slaa and it had changed her life. The programme is all about empowering oneself so that you feel while enough by yourself. Hi learn to love yourself and increase your self esteem so you do not need to rely on another person for this. I don’t have a sponsor yet but I have been reading the literature and going to meetings and so far I think it’s brilliant and I am so excited. AA helped me to feel more whole and worthy as a person but since dating I have realise there is a lot more work to be done in that area!
the drink is down. And it is down for good. I have no interest at all in drinking. It is vile and brings nothing to my life except misery. I am still vigilant though. I recognise that I was using the alcohol to mask the pain from losing my mum. It’s time to start the healing process.
seren is good, the piggies are good, the bun buns are good. My family is not too bad despite what we are going through. My little sister is having a baby girl! So my other sister and I will be planning her baby shower soon.
life is about family, friends and love . I feel blessed today to have amazing family and amazing friends. I’m really looking forward to doing more work on myself so I can be fully comfortable in my own skin and enjoy life today.
stil waking in the middle of the night obviously !! But I’m in a good place and I hope everyone else is too.
Check in soon x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Snitch It must be hard to re-engage romantically after the booze. I never did.
I’m not sure what to do. It’s obvious I’m on the wrong path. The universe keeps smacking me in the face. This last smack is brutal. I have been driving what was my dads old car which is expensive. We were to sell it and buy something else. But COVID has sent car prices at least double here, and I’ve been out of action for the winter with my condition. So my brother put the car in his name and on his insurance. I had a one person accident with the thing the other day. The circumstances are ridiculous. There was no avoiding it. The first thing you do when someone is going yo be regularly driving your car is add them as a driver to insurance. This is a lapse of the utmost of stupidity. We already learned that when it was in my parents name and I was added as a driver. We discussed how he would put me on the policy. Mostly it’s for his protection. So it’s $10,500 in damage. It doesn’t take much trust me. He doesn’t want to submit to his insurance but this **** is his fault. Half mine for not doing certain things but the policy has accident forgiveness for anyone in it meaning nothing happens if you make a claim. I WAS NEVER MADE A F-ING DRIVER ON THE POLICY!!! It doesn’t apply. He has control of my meager funds and wants me to pay the damages. Nightmare situation. And he is incompetent in many ways including this circumstance.
The new apartment owners want a huge rent increase. The place is falling down. They aren’t fixing stuff. I can’t handle a move now and neither can the roommate.
It’s disaster after disaster. All I can think is I should get in a car and drive as far away as possible and start fresh.
my therapist says if you’re not on the path the ‘universe’ kind of slaps you. This car thing is a big slap.
anyway just wanted to tell you what’s happening
things have got to improve
Vipe
I’m not sure what to do. It’s obvious I’m on the wrong path. The universe keeps smacking me in the face. This last smack is brutal. I have been driving what was my dads old car which is expensive. We were to sell it and buy something else. But COVID has sent car prices at least double here, and I’ve been out of action for the winter with my condition. So my brother put the car in his name and on his insurance. I had a one person accident with the thing the other day. The circumstances are ridiculous. There was no avoiding it. The first thing you do when someone is going yo be regularly driving your car is add them as a driver to insurance. This is a lapse of the utmost of stupidity. We already learned that when it was in my parents name and I was added as a driver. We discussed how he would put me on the policy. Mostly it’s for his protection. So it’s $10,500 in damage. It doesn’t take much trust me. He doesn’t want to submit to his insurance but this **** is his fault. Half mine for not doing certain things but the policy has accident forgiveness for anyone in it meaning nothing happens if you make a claim. I WAS NEVER MADE A F-ING DRIVER ON THE POLICY!!! It doesn’t apply. He has control of my meager funds and wants me to pay the damages. Nightmare situation. And he is incompetent in many ways including this circumstance.
The new apartment owners want a huge rent increase. The place is falling down. They aren’t fixing stuff. I can’t handle a move now and neither can the roommate.
It’s disaster after disaster. All I can think is I should get in a car and drive as far away as possible and start fresh.
my therapist says if you’re not on the path the ‘universe’ kind of slaps you. This car thing is a big slap.
anyway just wanted to tell you what’s happening
things have got to improve
Vipe
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
I'm sorry about the insurance and the rent increase Vipe.
I'm not sure this is the Universe slapping you down tho - sounds like simple human agency (or mis-agency) to me.
Hope you can sort both things out
D
I'm not sure this is the Universe slapping you down tho - sounds like simple human agency (or mis-agency) to me.
Hope you can sort both things out
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey Dee,
and everyone else,
I am here,
just in bed . Had an awful night . Problems with seren and her dad. I need to start putting in some action around the situation so will be doing that this week.
im good. Well kind of. Still grieving obviously and am up and down with it. Am dabbling in SLAA fellowship and learning a lot about myself. I need and sponsor though as I really want to work the programme and get true freedom and I believe this is for me. Done a bit of AA just to hear the message and remember that I am an alcoholic and drugs and alcohol are big no no’s although I do truly relate now to what it says in the book that alcohol was just a symptom of my problem. My underlying issues are low self worth/self esteem, not feeling good enough, terrified of being rejected and abandoned, unlovable, unworthy. Pretty sad really hey? But I’m not the only one to feel this way and there is a programme and a way to learn to learn to love and value myself.
All the covid sites are closing end of March so I am now job hunting! It’s time to move on , not just for me but also I need to find something where I can be home for seren and not reliant on her dad.
I have no desire to drink, if I do get that ridiculous romantic notion of a drink will be nice, I remind myself there is no such thing as one drink for me and I remember where it will take me. Thank God for zoom as there is always a meeting available on my phone.
I haven’t been here much. Life has gotten busy. Also I am conscious of being on my phone a lot when seren is around, I think it really affects her.
but I need to put my recovery first so will make more effort.
hope everyone is doing ok?
can’t believe it is march tomorrow!!!
and everyone else,
I am here,
just in bed . Had an awful night . Problems with seren and her dad. I need to start putting in some action around the situation so will be doing that this week.
im good. Well kind of. Still grieving obviously and am up and down with it. Am dabbling in SLAA fellowship and learning a lot about myself. I need and sponsor though as I really want to work the programme and get true freedom and I believe this is for me. Done a bit of AA just to hear the message and remember that I am an alcoholic and drugs and alcohol are big no no’s although I do truly relate now to what it says in the book that alcohol was just a symptom of my problem. My underlying issues are low self worth/self esteem, not feeling good enough, terrified of being rejected and abandoned, unlovable, unworthy. Pretty sad really hey? But I’m not the only one to feel this way and there is a programme and a way to learn to learn to love and value myself.
All the covid sites are closing end of March so I am now job hunting! It’s time to move on , not just for me but also I need to find something where I can be home for seren and not reliant on her dad.
I have no desire to drink, if I do get that ridiculous romantic notion of a drink will be nice, I remind myself there is no such thing as one drink for me and I remember where it will take me. Thank God for zoom as there is always a meeting available on my phone.
I haven’t been here much. Life has gotten busy. Also I am conscious of being on my phone a lot when seren is around, I think it really affects her.
but I need to put my recovery first so will make more effort.
hope everyone is doing ok?
can’t believe it is march tomorrow!!!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
I'm glad you've found a fellowship that speaks to you Snitch
I didn't want to make anyone guilty for not checking in - just wondering how people are
Good luck with the job hunt and sorting out Serens dad.
D
I didn't want to make anyone guilty for not checking in - just wondering how people are
Good luck with the job hunt and sorting out Serens dad.
D
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
thanks for asking dee x
I have been in bad place with drink for near 2 weeks and found it hard to reach out. I am back to trying and doing to keep away from drink, i have taken this week off work to help me through this and get back on track. so im just slowely coming back.
good to see u snitch and hope u can sort out whats is happening with daughter and father x
will leave it there for now x good to see u also viper x
I have been in bad place with drink for near 2 weeks and found it hard to reach out. I am back to trying and doing to keep away from drink, i have taken this week off work to help me through this and get back on track. so im just slowely coming back.
good to see u snitch and hope u can sort out whats is happening with daughter and father x
will leave it there for now x good to see u also viper x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi guys.
im awake at 4am, not feeling too great , just done a covid test but it’s negative.
so thought id check in! Long time , life gets busy hey.
im good, sober, and working a good programme staying away from any ********, just want to enhance in my spiritual life.
My big news is what’s going on with serens dad.
so basically you guys know how up and down it has been over the years. Recently I was at a point where I thought I just can’t take this anymore!
well,Seren never wants to go stay with him but she has had to because I need to work and also, he is her dad.
but it has been getting worse and I was meant to take her over to his on Monday and she wouldn’t go. She screamed, cried, held onto a lamp post.!
I was like, this is not right!
we got home and she was inconsolable. I actually videoed her as I needed to be able to show her dad what I was dealing with.
anyway I told her it’s ok you don’t have to go you stay with mummy we will work it out.
he went mad. I sent him the videos to show him. He said he doesn’t want anything to do with her! Omg.
he dumped her clothes outside my flat yesterday am. We saw them as we left for school: I am beyond fuming . I am done with him. After 10 brutal years, he is out of my life. Img ex sponsor in AA has been amazing. He is very sick/ I am praying for him. It is not up to me to fox this. I am keeping seren with me and being a full time mum to her: I will do what it takes. I will get a job within school hours . I have been ruled by financial fear, always depending on him but really , for what? £200 a month (which he pays me for her and has not said he is going to stop) and him having her whikst I work. ?? I do T bloody need him. Why have I been putting up with all his crap and abuse for so long.!
of he wants a relationship with his daughter then it is up to him to fox it: but he will need to make massive changes and I don’t think he is prepared to do that . He genuinely cannot see where he is wrong!
guys, I feel free! Actual freedom for the 1st time since Seren was born
Thank ago I’m not drinking so I can be a present mum to her and get our ducks in a row.
my eyes are closing !!
be back soon
lots of love
hope everyone doing ok xx
im awake at 4am, not feeling too great , just done a covid test but it’s negative.
so thought id check in! Long time , life gets busy hey.
im good, sober, and working a good programme staying away from any ********, just want to enhance in my spiritual life.
My big news is what’s going on with serens dad.
so basically you guys know how up and down it has been over the years. Recently I was at a point where I thought I just can’t take this anymore!
well,Seren never wants to go stay with him but she has had to because I need to work and also, he is her dad.
but it has been getting worse and I was meant to take her over to his on Monday and she wouldn’t go. She screamed, cried, held onto a lamp post.!
I was like, this is not right!
we got home and she was inconsolable. I actually videoed her as I needed to be able to show her dad what I was dealing with.
anyway I told her it’s ok you don’t have to go you stay with mummy we will work it out.
he went mad. I sent him the videos to show him. He said he doesn’t want anything to do with her! Omg.
he dumped her clothes outside my flat yesterday am. We saw them as we left for school: I am beyond fuming . I am done with him. After 10 brutal years, he is out of my life. Img ex sponsor in AA has been amazing. He is very sick/ I am praying for him. It is not up to me to fox this. I am keeping seren with me and being a full time mum to her: I will do what it takes. I will get a job within school hours . I have been ruled by financial fear, always depending on him but really , for what? £200 a month (which he pays me for her and has not said he is going to stop) and him having her whikst I work. ?? I do T bloody need him. Why have I been putting up with all his crap and abuse for so long.!
of he wants a relationship with his daughter then it is up to him to fox it: but he will need to make massive changes and I don’t think he is prepared to do that . He genuinely cannot see where he is wrong!
guys, I feel free! Actual freedom for the 1st time since Seren was born
Thank ago I’m not drinking so I can be a present mum to her and get our ducks in a row.
my eyes are closing !!
be back soon
lots of love
hope everyone doing ok xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hey all
no action here
I guess this is how it goes sometimes
thought I’d pop in though and say hi!
im doing ok, sober and thankful.
been working a lot on changing negative thinking to positive thinking and affirmations. Today it’s all about letting go of fear and learning to be compassionate and loving towards myself.
im in love! Seeing the same guy it’s been 4 months now. He is lovely but he is separated from his wife so it may get messy at some point but at the moment things are good.
I have a nutritionist I am working with and sorting through my food issues.
seren is still not seeing her daddy but help for her is moving forward nicely.
still so devastated about my dear mum and even more so for my dad. I hate that he is on his own now without her and I feel he has really aged in the last year. It’s so effing sad. The worst part of life is death.
but there is bugger all we can do about it!
im just trying to enjoy my life now . I’ve spent too long being miserable.
I really hope everyone is good and hi Dee, hope you are well!
night xxx
no action here
I guess this is how it goes sometimes
thought I’d pop in though and say hi!
im doing ok, sober and thankful.
been working a lot on changing negative thinking to positive thinking and affirmations. Today it’s all about letting go of fear and learning to be compassionate and loving towards myself.
im in love! Seeing the same guy it’s been 4 months now. He is lovely but he is separated from his wife so it may get messy at some point but at the moment things are good.
I have a nutritionist I am working with and sorting through my food issues.
seren is still not seeing her daddy but help for her is moving forward nicely.
still so devastated about my dear mum and even more so for my dad. I hate that he is on his own now without her and I feel he has really aged in the last year. It’s so effing sad. The worst part of life is death.
but there is bugger all we can do about it!
im just trying to enjoy my life now . I’ve spent too long being miserable.
I really hope everyone is good and hi Dee, hope you are well!
night xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hello?? I’ve got 4 years. I’m not in the greatest of spots or the greatest of moods, but yeah 4 years. I have forgotten how terrible it is to the point where sometimes I just want to get blitzed. But I imagine the next day. Or the next hour after only 1 drink. The horror.
food is a drug for me now. I’m not getting huge or anything but my health issues require the strict diet and I’m like a junkie with the snacks which ruins everything.
so yeah I thought I’d pop in and let you guys know. I know I’m to blame as well… looks like things really slowed down here.
food is a drug for me now. I’m not getting huge or anything but my health issues require the strict diet and I’m like a junkie with the snacks which ruins everything.
so yeah I thought I’d pop in and let you guys know. I know I’m to blame as well… looks like things really slowed down here.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
Congrats on 4 years Viper
Hopefully you'll get the eating under control.
the process might be basically the same? " I imagine the next day. Or the next hour..The horror.."
D
Hopefully you'll get the eating under control.
the process might be basically the same? " I imagine the next day. Or the next hour..The horror.."
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Hi Dee
I hope you’re well!
I haven’t posted for a while , life and all but things are good with me, will come back and put a proper post soon x
viper asked me to message as he says he can’t remember his password and he can’t reset it either because the system doesn’t recognise his email, any solutions?
thanks , snitch xx
I hope you’re well!
I haven’t posted for a while , life and all but things are good with me, will come back and put a proper post soon x
viper asked me to message as he says he can’t remember his password and he can’t reset it either because the system doesn’t recognise his email, any solutions?
thanks , snitch xx
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