SirFHaddock

Thanks, it's reassuring to hear it was fairly typical. The main problem with Day 5 was I didn't see it coming and thought something was wrong. Anticipating it might happen would have made it easier to cope with - though I was too ill to leave my sofa anyway if I wanted to visit the shop to buy any beer. It's why I'm slightly concerned that I currently have no cravings for alcohol, I wonder if this is going to bite when I least expect it.

BigShoe

Welcome new folks. Enjoy reading the posts. Some real struggle going on. Imagine the beauty that will come from it. Alcohol really is not our friend. Sometimes i wonder if my mind is even on my side.

MaximusD

Haddock, I have had little to no av issues either. It is a bit unnerving. I am pissed at the AV though so it is probably sulking in the corner. When it pokes its head out again I have a baseball ready for it.

MaximusD

Kaptn, my last slip was from a walk. I was out doing my sober thing and the AV popped up. I argued with it and when I do that it always wins.

Willow00

Yeah, I’m trying not to engage with the AV. When I have argued in the past I have caved in too. I’m trying to ignore it and distract myself. So far it’s working. Mostly. I’m on day 29 this time after multiple relapses. I’m determined to stay the course this time.

sodasoba

You ppl seem to be all lucky enough to have partners and families, however difficult.
Try imagining it where the AV is your only connect other than the work and
economic ties carefully calculated.
I read the posts here and am quietly astonished that alcoholics.....have wives?......partners, still ?
Then start wondering......maybe these guys aren't really that gone yet.

CaptainHaddock

sodasoba, I’m gone alright. I may still have a wife, but even if I very seldom get “fall down drunk” or aggressive (despite being able to drink as much as two and a half bottles of wine in one sitting), alcohol has made my life unmanageable enough. My take on it is that there might be different types of alcoholics, but we are all the same kind of animal. Add to that the progressiveness of alcoholism and I’m sure if I continue I will progress to the next level. No matter what, there will always be someone who is a worse alcoholic.

If you are still drinking, I hope to see you get back on track.

Dee74

Yet you've been sober before...you can be again.
I lost everything. Everything I have now is Version 2.0.

You can rebuild your life too, and make new connections, new relationships new chapters.

Don't build the AV up sodasoba - tear it down.

D

Willow00

Sodasoba, if I kept on going the way I was going, I wouldn’t still have a partner or a job. I decided I needed to stop drinking before the damage got any worse. As it is, my health has suffered a lot, I am lucky to still have a partner after all the drunken arguments, and I am lucky I still have a job after having worked hungover so often in the past. The AV is a liar and will rob us of everything if we let it. If we resist the AV and choose sobriety instead, we can establish a much better life for ourselves. Drinking takes life away. Sobriety gives life.

Be123

Hi SS. And hello group from March 2020!!

My experience is my wife put up with an abnoxious drunk man around for over 15 years. Remarkable powers of faithfulness and patience. And then one day she'd had enough and my life fell apart.

If I could go back and change one thing in my life it would be to get sober earlier, to avoid the pain I've caused her and my family. And I often beg people on here to learn from my experience because no matter how loving and patient the person in your life, we all have limits.

People are remarkably resilient and Put up with us being drunks. Until they don't any more.

July 2020 take the chance life has given you - get sober and build from the bottom up (if you have to).

Greentree87

Morning all. Day 3. I'm on a cleaning clear out frenzy which I often do after a heavy binge. No AV, No cravings, just not entertaining that alcohol even exists any more. No doubt it will creep back in though. Hope your all okay.

I'm glad you haddocks have found each other in sobriety. haha that made me smile
I don't see a post from puck :-(

Kaptn sometimes I have done that too and dreaded going back to the 'scene' but I found it helps me think of it as starting anew and getting it over with. I have already been back and forced myself to look at the tree I fell asleep under. eek

Sodasoba, I am lucky enough to have a very supportive husband but he is at the end of his tether now. He is tired and I am tired. He understands to some extent as he also had a drink problem, ironically meeting me helped him only drink in moderation again, also ironically I didn't drink at all until I met him and started having a couple, then progressed to here. Your AV is nothing....and there is a better life out there for you.

I think we always focus on what we don't have and what is missing in our lives when we are trying to get sober, and we just need to focus on the small stuff first till we get some good sober time behind us and stronger to build those new relationships... personally I would like to go back to college when the time is right as I dropped out at 19. Its something I can build up to, and I think we all have something to build up to.

Well done cutengay, willow, max, your building up those sober days now, keep going scott. sorry if I missed anyone, but have a great sober day! x

redcardid

Day 16

Getting a little better each day - spending more time out of bed. Boils have cleared up and gout has almost gone (a much shorter gout attack than when I was boozing) - sleeping better (did 7 hours rather than 2 hour stints with sort of creepy real-life dreams)

I don't want to drink and I have had no urges (I was drinking to be numb and I don't want to be numb any more - not the whole truth)

I'm in roller-coaster mode at the moment - mostly feeling normal (and the normal periods are getting longer) but with periods of intense anger or hysterical mirth

Some of the posts are sad (but alcoholism is a sad business)
Factlet - more than half the people on Erath do not drink alcohol but there are still about 234 million alcoholics on Earth
Simple truths can be used as mantra to help - "Drinking makes things worse. Not drinking makes things better"

Here are some numbers from a scientistic study (after 28 days of alcoholics not drinking)

Down

Weight -2%
Bad Cholesterol -5%
Glucose -16%
Liver Fat -15%

UP

Sleep +10%
Wakefulness +9.5%
Concentration +18%
Productivity +17%

Anyway - well done if you are hanging on :-)

Scott2295

Bodhi01, Venuscat - It was intentional. Maybe in the back of my head I thought I could moderate. I had a couple of stresses on me and I just gave in to cope. Moderation definitely does not work for me. That has become completely clear. Anyway, I’m back with more determination and understanding of my alcoholism and triggers. You would think I would had known it by now. I slept well last night and feel really good this morning. Blood pressure is high but it will come back down in a few days. I’m on meds for it and had actually been able to reduce the meds before this relapse. My goal was to get off the meds completely and I think I can with no drinking.

venuscat

What was intentional Scott? s
Are you talking about last night...perhaps. xx

Glad you are here this morning. ❤️

Scott2295

Redcardid - I had really bad gout when I first quit drinking in my feet, ankles, and knees. Funny thing was I would have some when I was drinking heavily but it was worse when I quit. It did go away after awhile and didn’t come back during my 124 day sober stint. Thankfully I’m not feeling it during my recent relapse. We’ll see in a few days.

Jewel72

A lot of great posts. Thank you. And the Haddocks....That is too funny!

Soda, I have a wonderful husband and great kids. But I still feel very alone in this battle. This is our problem and we are the only ones who can quit this cycle of addiction. No one can fight off the AV for us and there is no magical group who can change us. I’ve tried it all, and now I’m going to give it my all to be the version of myself I’m meant to be. Wishing you success in the days ahead.

OK folks, Here I am posting in the morning again as I need to get back to day one. My husband and I are talking again, I confessed my drinking, and now I’m really ready to get this beast off my back. Today’s plan is to stay home (no stores) and go for a long walk with the kids this afternoon. Also, hoping to get caught up with a
lady from my support group.

I will post tonight that I made it back. The AV can go to blazes today. I hate wine.

Charon

Morning.

Mrs decided to open all the doors & windows to let in fresh air - and pollen and mold spores. I got hammered as soon as I stepped out of my HEPA filtered bedroom. Very considerate - not. And when I said I'd like things closed up again because of my allergies (which she is very aware of) I got a p1$$y response and not even the hint of a "sorry". Of course I'm really miserable - eyes & nose/sinuses running, headache, hard to breathe, chest hurts, and angry and triggering.

I have a lot of mechanical maintenence to do on the garden tractor and I want to get the snow blower to the shop for some adjustments I can't seem to get quite right. I also need to run some errands. I'd much rather creep back into my bedroom, where I can breathe, and suck on a bottle. I'm not going to do that, though I wonder if I would if I didn't have so much to do.

I spent all day yesterday picking up the trimmings from 100 feet of bittersweet and mowing. It was a miserable day. I didn't expect to wake up to the outdoors this morning. Getting hit this way before I even had a chance to take my allergy meds really sux. I never hear the end of it if I so much as leave the toilet seat up. There's a wee house around the corner for sale - perfect size for one person. If I bought it I could live there and still take care of what I do now on this house/property. Maybe checking the price will help me get over triggering.

SirFHaddock

Day 15 - after a week or so of feeling much better, today has seen the return of clammy hands and a big headache out of nowhere for most of the day. I guess during recovery this happens and these kind of days get fewer and fewer as time goes on. Still no urge to drink though which is a good sign so far.

Citrus

Wow this thread is fasr moving!
Just checking in. I've been having a great time with my whole family home again. Yesterday my daughter, new son-in-law and grand puppy came to visit. My yongest almost didn't let the puppy go home! I think a new dog is in our not so distant future.

Glad to see you all fighting the good fight against that stupid AV!

venuscat

Oh wow your daughter got married? I did not know love. ❤️