DaisyBelle7

Good morning all. I had a very rough night. My 15 yo daughter came home and asked to talk with me. She confessed that she’s been restricting food AND purging when she does eat. I’ve suspected this since July or August, and I’ve gently asked her quite a few times. She denied up until now.

I grew up with an anorexic mom in a house where calories were always counted (hence my fear of the scale at the doctor’s office yesterday). I worked so hard when raising my kids not to talk about weight, calories, other people’s bodies, diets, etc. I’ve raised them to eat 3 meals a day, healthy snacks, and that food is fuel. It didn’t work. She has been heavily influenced by society. She doesn’t know why she’s been doing this, other than low self-esteem which I also don’t understand. I called a therapist and left her a message. Now I’m absolutely terrified that she’ll continue to make herself throw up and I’ll walk in her bathroom and find her dead. Maybe if I hadn’t been so concerned with my drinking binges, I would’ve been more clear minded and could’ve helped her sooner. She already has a red dot on her eye from forcing herself to vomit.

I have a very, very heavy heart today. Ive said the serenity prayer countless times in the last 12 hours. If you all are the praying type, please send some our way... or good thoughts or whatever you believe in. We could really use some strength. I’ll be occupied with a friend today (previous plans). Will be back online tonight.

Cityboy

Prayer sent db7. My kid eats a lot and could definitely be more fit. I have not set the best example, mostly with the liquid intake, but addressing that situation. I can't tell you how much my kid's fitness level has increased my stress load, which increases the likelihood of turning to alcohol, which continues to set a bad example. Funny how things cycle themselves.

Don't want to be responsible for moving the conversation further towards religion. When these issues or conflicts come up I ask myself how it would all make me feel if I were the big guy.

fishkiller

Daisybelle there is no worse feeling than knowing your child is suffering.

My Daughter had some issues growing up so I can relate.
The great thing is you are sober and she can see that. That will help her immensely.

venuscat

DaisyBelle love ~ I think it is absolutely amazing that your daughter could come to you about this. Really. Most teenage girls will talk to anyone but their moms....so I feel that shows clearly what a great mother you are. s

You did the absolute best thing in my opinion by calling a therapist. I am sure she will be able to help your girl. s xxxxxx

Willow00

So jr, my A. to Q5, my answers wouldn’t change. I think jr would be forgiven. I think that as long as we learn from our mistakes, we’re forgiven

And I agreed with all Bacchus said too

Freedomfries, hang in there with us, we’re all here in the same boat trying to stay afloat. Sobriety is worth the struggle of the early days, it really truly is!

Cityboy the cur dogs are gorgeous! They remind me a bit of the north Qld bull arabs that were bred for hunting wild pigs. I love large breed dogs

Daisybelle7, sending prayers your way ❤️ I think it’s really good that your daughter has come to you and opened up. That really is wonderful. Together you will be able to deal with this ❤️

Dee74

hope everyone is doing well, but for those facing trying times, there's help and support here - keep using us

Freedomfries I know Suze has posted this before but it's a good link on recovery plans.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

Whiteknucking gets tiring after a while.

D

Lixie

Good morning, class! How is everyone doing?

jr67

Good morning, Lixie
After your chipper greeting
We're much better thanks

jr67

We're much better thanks
and we are hoping the same
may be said for you

freedomfries

Good morning on day 14
. Two weeks!

jr67

Freedomfries arrives
Right on schedule today. Yes!
One could set one's clock

Dee74

congrats on 2 weeks FF

D

Willow00

Well done everyone!
Good night from northern Australia where it’s raining

freedomfries

Back from my jog. Intended not to vape for half an hour before and during my jog
​​​​​​
ended up vaping during it

Oh well, one thing at a time. I'll look at giving up vaping when I'm a month sober

Reid82

Weather was really bad here the last few days so no days on the road with the job- was just working from home. Back on the road again tomorrow! Can't believe
I'm fast approaching 9 months now!?

dontlookbacchus

Good morning and evening, classmates.

jr67. Right back at you. I like waking up to read your energetic and unique posts. Especially now, as we all get to know each other, with more of your first-person, day-to-day journey coming in to your posts. You are doing great, btw, keep going.

db7, to agree with Willow, and the others, for your teenage daughter to open up to you is such a good sign. The fact that you are sober now, and present, right when she needs you, is such a blessing.

FF. Well done fighting that AV spike so well. When it happens again, you *know* you can fight it off, and build muscles against it. This is too important for us, this time. We are all behind you and know you can do it. 2 weeks is awesome. I am also reading Dee's post about really creating a recovery strategy and am learning from this process already.
I will also put an actual plan today. Thank's Dee. FF and I are in similar camps, in that way.

Lixie. I am doing great. I think Getting mentally ready for the day and *determined* to make it to the gym shortly.

For me, Jan is just about getting out of the habit of not drinking every night ( or morning, day and night's in the weekend). And rediscovering me.
I think my body doesn't reflect my slightly healthier lifestyle at all. I may even look worse, but that is 100% fine. Feb can be about shaping up.

Have a safe, sober and happy day all. I feel so fortunate to be part of this group.

dlb

jr67

It is totally Oh well, freedomfries, I couldn't agree more, one thing, one breath, one day at a time.

I am just wondering, though:

The next time you intend not to vape, whether that is in a couple of weeks when you are a month sober, or next time you go jogging, or whenever it is, ... I am wondering whether, when that time arrives, you might wish to leave the vaping apparatus behind.

I have found that taking such steps increases the friction between noticing a craving and caving in to it.

Just cuz jr is wondering, that doesn't mean ff feels like replying, but if you wish to, ff, feel free. (You are always welcome to feel free.)

freedomfries

that would probably be a good idea

jr67

You couldn't have said it better.

Plus it's less to carry on the jog. Doesn't the vape kit jangle around in your pocket?

When I used to jog, or when I ride my bicycle (still do), I liked (like) to do so as unencumbered by paraphernalia in general, and when I was still smoking (before you were born), by my nicotine delivery system in particular, as possible.

I still have to smile (can't help it) when I see someone riding by on a bicycle with a lit cigarette dangling from the rider's lips.

Cityboy

Morning jr and ff. I suppose that jogging with a vape kit is no worse, or perhaps better than, going for walks with wife with beer bottles in my pockets.

Dontlookback, I've definitely put on a few pounds in the last couple of weeks and haven't been to the gym. Like you, I'm looking forward to re-addressing these issues in coming weeks.

Reid, I'm going back out of town today for the first time since dropping the beer can. Will likely be the biggest hurdle yet. Need to get in some routine like reading a book or hitting hotel gym. Just anything to look forward to except getting smashed in hotel room.

Lixie, glad to see you sticking around.

Willow, glad you're getting rain. Was looking at the bull arabs last night. We still have the two dogs that are getting older. I haven't really wanted to get another dog since loosing the cur, but have a soft spot for the rugged working dogs. Maybe I'll look around for one when I get ready for another dog.

Dee is right about the support being available here, without which I would almost certainly still be in the same cycle I was just a short time ago.