Class of June 2019 part 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Day 11 - now the target has to be treble figures, which seems like a bit of an impossible dream until I remember that 11 days also seemed like an impossible dream 12 days ago. So good to read about so many June people doing well and even better to read about those who've had real cravings managing to get past them and stay sober. It has been relatively easy for me so far because I haven't had to do much socialising but that will change on Friday and next week so I'm getting prepared. I'm keeping in my mind that I've been on this roundabout before. 19 months sober before a casual decision to have a couple of glasses of wine ruined all that - for over 3 years. In fairness that was before I'd realised there's no such thing as moderation for the likes of me and at least I do realise that now. I wish everyone a good day.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thanks rose.
Congrats on your sober time.
About socialising. if you dont feel like it or dont want to do it or worried about it then dont do it. I've learned that I have to put my sobriety first and if I dont want to attend a function then I dont. I dont worry what people think of my decision. I had 3.5 years sober a while ago and learned to put myself first. Its not selfish it's self preservation.
Going into tempting drinking situations in the first month of sobriety is a no no for me
Congrats on your sober time.
About socialising. if you dont feel like it or dont want to do it or worried about it then dont do it. I've learned that I have to put my sobriety first and if I dont want to attend a function then I dont. I dont worry what people think of my decision. I had 3.5 years sober a while ago and learned to put myself first. Its not selfish it's self preservation.
Going into tempting drinking situations in the first month of sobriety is a no no for me
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: fl
Posts: 246
Good Morning Day 33 still counting days keeps me accountable even though some days I forget how many its been! I am like ReadyAtlast the first month i had to pick & choose what settings I went into Im still not comfortable in a bar setting so i don't go I have a concert in August to go to that will be hard for me but i have to be honest Im feeling more like my younger sober self & hanging with friends that are not big drinkers is a huge help socially!!
plus you realize the drinking friends dont like people that quit they need you to drink so they feel better about there drinking !!
I hope everyone is having a great day!! going into the 4th what's everyones plans ? me ill run in the am then hang at home never was a big fan of going into large crowds
plus you realize the drinking friends dont like people that quit they need you to drink so they feel better about there drinking !!
I hope everyone is having a great day!! going into the 4th what's everyones plans ? me ill run in the am then hang at home never was a big fan of going into large crowds
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 409
Morning and day 19 here.
Feel much better today too.
Have the 4th off work so the plan is Yoga in the morning and maybe some barn time or a long walk with the pup.
Not a fan of crowds/fireworks either.
Hoping my neighborhood will not be too noisy as it scares my dog...
Happy Tuesday.
Feel much better today too.
Have the 4th off work so the plan is Yoga in the morning and maybe some barn time or a long walk with the pup.
Not a fan of crowds/fireworks either.
Hoping my neighborhood will not be too noisy as it scares my dog...
Happy Tuesday.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Oh, I want to hug you. 
You are far from brain dead dear Purina ~ you are doing amazingly well!!!
It is completely normal to forget to take the cake home when you are in a situation that is so emotional and I am betting it went home with another newcomer who had no food at home. And everyone forgets one item at Home Depot....for me it's Lowe's....there is always one thing I need, usually the thing I go there to get, that I leave without. But I always come home with more plants. (Haven't been there for a while, trying to dial back my plant addiction. ).
The fact that you are trying to learn something at 15 days like some programming you don't know....well that's admirable. I bet if you try again in two weeks it will all make sense. We heal. Truly.
This is the scary part though....we have to face the debts and the things life throws at us. Life on life's terms is not so easey peasey....I know that was one of the reasons I drank in the first place.
But it is possible. And we do find ways to work through whatever issues we need to work through.....financial and otherwise.
How? One day at a time. In small bites.
I really had no clue how I was going to be able to survive financially or find who I really wanted to be at this late stage. And I have made lots of mistakes in that search, I keep getting it wrong. Or I did. I finally got my lightbulb moment last night. And I am heading to 5 years sober. I am slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Be kind to yourself....all of you be kind to yourselves.....I agree with Abraham....this class thread is going to be around for years.
You are far from brain dead dear Purina ~ you are doing amazingly well!!!
It is completely normal to forget to take the cake home when you are in a situation that is so emotional and I am betting it went home with another newcomer who had no food at home.
And everyone forgets one item at Home Depot....for me it's Lowe's....there is always one thing I need, usually the thing I go there to get, that I leave without. But I always come home with more plants. (Haven't been there for a while, trying to dial back my plant addiction. ).The fact that you are trying to learn something at 15 days like some programming you don't know....well that's admirable. I bet if you try again in two weeks it will all make sense.
We heal. Truly.This is the scary part though....we have to face the debts and the things life throws at us. Life on life's terms is not so easey peasey....I know that was one of the reasons I drank in the first place.
But it is possible. And we do find ways to work through whatever issues we need to work through.....financial and otherwise.
How? One day at a time. In small bites.
I really had no clue how I was going to be able to survive financially or find who I really wanted to be at this late stage. And I have made lots of mistakes in that search, I keep getting it wrong. Or I did. I finally got my lightbulb moment last night. And I am heading to 5 years sober. I am slowwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Be kind to yourself....all of you be kind to yourselves.....I agree with Abraham....this class thread is going to be around for years.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
Yes, I have found it to be a mental trap to focus on situations that felt "unfair". it is a common thing to be an honest person, live a life of generosity and helping others and then bad stuff happens to you. And often in the past I would throw away my quit because of an incident like that.
But if my sobriety is contingent on life being fair and equitable then I am doomed and wont even be able to string along even 40 days together.
The sad truth is that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Never was and never will be. I dont know where we ever picked up this mistaken belief that life would be fair and that bad things would not happen to good people.
Dont get me wrong, i am not saying to be a pessimist or to be jaded. That is also an extreme view. But I am saying to temper our expectations and to expect life to be unfair. Instead of "blowing our stack" when something bad happens we should instead rejoice when something good happens.
The truth is that our Addictive Voice knows that bad things happen and so it is sitting back waiting to pounce at the next misfortune and to yank the rug from under our feet when the misfortune occurs in an attempt to get us to take that first drink or first drug or first bite of unhealthy food or first cigarette.
So let us guard our mind and be aware of this. I am ashamed of how many times I have fallen for this mental trick and gone out and drank over a tragedy or an unexpected financial loss. I was just reading last month about a guy who bought a $30,000 USD Harley motorcycle and drove it home, parked it in front driveway and when he woke up the next morning it had been stolen!
But if my sobriety is contingent on life being fair and equitable then I am doomed and wont even be able to string along even 40 days together.
The sad truth is that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Never was and never will be. I dont know where we ever picked up this mistaken belief that life would be fair and that bad things would not happen to good people.
Dont get me wrong, i am not saying to be a pessimist or to be jaded. That is also an extreme view. But I am saying to temper our expectations and to expect life to be unfair. Instead of "blowing our stack" when something bad happens we should instead rejoice when something good happens.
The truth is that our Addictive Voice knows that bad things happen and so it is sitting back waiting to pounce at the next misfortune and to yank the rug from under our feet when the misfortune occurs in an attempt to get us to take that first drink or first drug or first bite of unhealthy food or first cigarette.
So let us guard our mind and be aware of this. I am ashamed of how many times I have fallen for this mental trick and gone out and drank over a tragedy or an unexpected financial loss. I was just reading last month about a guy who bought a $30,000 USD Harley motorcycle and drove it home, parked it in front driveway and when he woke up the next morning it had been stolen!
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,526
Did we? Did we ever really think that Purina? I know for me, the young Suze found it hard to deal with 'life isn't fair', and like so many addicts....I just never grew up. I got stoned for years, and drunk for another 20, so I never learned to deal with anything. Normies learn that bad stuff happens to good people, and learn, as you said, to rejoice in the good things and deal with the bad. If you grow up.
Let me tell you, growing up at 50 was not a lot of fun....I had to learn so many things. But on the flip side, it is awesome to learn new things, joyous in fact, and everything new in my life is keeping me young.
So many awesome posts today. s
Let me tell you, growing up at 50 was not a lot of fun....I had to learn so many things. But on the flip side, it is awesome to learn new things, joyous in fact, and everything new in my life is keeping me young.
So many awesome posts today.
s
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Thanks for the useful thoughts on socialising in the early days of sobriety. I totally agree and have kept things to a minumum, this month only involving husband's birthday (very low key and early evening so that's OK) and an event one of my sisters is hosting for a charity. Not quite so low key but absolutely no obligation to drink and no-one will bat an eyelid when I don't. Even so it's good to be reminded of the pitfalls that any social event can involve in early sobriety - even late sobriety in my case, it was that that sent me straight over the precipice last time - and to be well prepared in advance.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
My nine year old says "its not fair" I think most of us adults long ago learned its not. Nor should it be for that matter. Its a near impossible situation.
"Fortunately, we don’t live in a world where everyone has to kill each other to prosper. The blessing of modern civilisation is there’s abundant opportunities, and enough for us all to get by, even if we don’t compete directly.
But never fall for the collective delusion that there’s not a competition going on. People dress up to win partners. They interview to win jobs. If you deny that competition exists, you’re just losing. Everything in demand is on a competitive scale. And the best is only available to those who are willing to truly fight for it.
Can you imagine how insane life would be if it actually was ‘fair’ to everyone? No-one could fancy anyone who wasn’t the love of their life, for fear of breaking a heart. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them was evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously. Raindrops would only fall on bad people.
Most of us get so hung up on how we think the world should work that we can’t see how it does. But facing that reality might just be the key to unlocking your understanding of the world, and with it, all of your potential."
Not my quote. Unknown author.
"Fortunately, we don’t live in a world where everyone has to kill each other to prosper. The blessing of modern civilisation is there’s abundant opportunities, and enough for us all to get by, even if we don’t compete directly.
But never fall for the collective delusion that there’s not a competition going on. People dress up to win partners. They interview to win jobs. If you deny that competition exists, you’re just losing. Everything in demand is on a competitive scale. And the best is only available to those who are willing to truly fight for it.
Can you imagine how insane life would be if it actually was ‘fair’ to everyone? No-one could fancy anyone who wasn’t the love of their life, for fear of breaking a heart. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them was evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously. Raindrops would only fall on bad people.
Most of us get so hung up on how we think the world should work that we can’t see how it does. But facing that reality might just be the key to unlocking your understanding of the world, and with it, all of your potential."
Not my quote. Unknown author.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Day 22 for me!
Got up real early and it afforded me to take a half day. I got home and chilled with the dog and got a much needed afternoon nap! Sleeping now is really a joy, even sneaky naps!(I was up before 6am, so for me that was real early!!)
Feeling good, feeling positive! Looking forward to the weekend- the 4th sober one for me. I think I've lost some of the bloat because my t-shirts feel a bit baggier so that.makes me a bit more confident!
There was a big parade near where I live last night, lots of people drunk watching it. This morning the streets were littered with empty cans, bottles and some very severe looking vomit. As I walked with the dog, I felt good that drinking was no longer part of my life, the reminants of heavy drinking scattered, I focused on my walk.
Got up real early and it afforded me to take a half day. I got home and chilled with the dog and got a much needed afternoon nap! Sleeping now is really a joy, even sneaky naps!(I was up before 6am, so for me that was real early!!)
Feeling good, feeling positive! Looking forward to the weekend- the 4th sober one for me. I think I've lost some of the bloat because my t-shirts feel a bit baggier so that.makes me a bit more confident!
There was a big parade near where I live last night, lots of people drunk watching it. This morning the streets were littered with empty cans, bottles and some very severe looking vomit. As I walked with the dog, I felt good that drinking was no longer part of my life, the reminants of heavy drinking scattered, I focused on my walk.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Zombie what an upbeat post. Great to read you're doing well. I had a nap in the sun this afternoon too. Very refreshing 😀
Abraham I also have a 9 year old who says ' it's not fair ' my response is always life isn't fair and it's a good lesson to learn now. Learn it and how to deal with it.
Back home now. We've had a good time but ready for home. We cut it short and came back early. done so much and pretty shattered.
Still sober. Tomorrow I will be positive eat well exercise and not drink.
Abraham I also have a 9 year old who says ' it's not fair ' my response is always life isn't fair and it's a good lesson to learn now. Learn it and how to deal with it.
Back home now. We've had a good time but ready for home. We cut it short and came back early. done so much and pretty shattered.
Still sober. Tomorrow I will be positive eat well exercise and not drink.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
You're right about that Zombie. I never felt refreshed after a drunken sleep. Four or five hours of being out like a light then that awful abrupt, heart thumping awakening feeling like total rubbish. And remembering. Happy to consign that to the past. Not much planned for the weekend and nothing that would automatically involve drinking if you don't count my time sitting at home in the evenings drinking myself stupid. That's not on the agenda any more.
Hi RAL sounds like you had a good break in the end and I hope your mood does you a favour and stays positive. Indeed that goes for all of us.
Hi RAL sounds like you had a good break in the end and I hope your mood does you a favour and stays positive. Indeed that goes for all of us.
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by Rose335
You're right about that Zombie. I never felt refreshed after a drunken sleep. Four or five hours of being out like a light then that awful abrupt, heart thumping awakening feeling like total rubbish. And remembering. Happy to consign that to the past. Not much planned for the weekend and nothing that would automatically involve drinking if you don't count my time sitting at home in the evenings drinking myself stupid. That's not on the agenda any more.
Hi RAL sounds like you had a good break in the end and I hope your mood does you a favour and stays positive. Indeed that goes for all of us.
Hi RAL sounds like you had a good break in the end and I hope your mood does you a favour and stays positive. Indeed that goes for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by Zombie79
RAL- thanks!
I think the whole practicing gratitude is really working for me and it's something I've never done anyother time I've tried going sober.
I think the whole practicing gratitude is really working for me and it's something I've never done anyother time I've tried going sober.
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