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Class of April 2018 Part 10

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Old 04-24-2019, 03:13 AM
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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MAN

"Man is what he believes. "
--Anton Chekhov

My miracle is that I now believe in me. Today I accept my disease of
addiction and I do not resist or deny it. I believe that I am an alcoholic. I
believe that I am an overeater. I am a co-dependent. I believe that I am
an adult child of an alcoholic. And this belief enables me to be free.

For too long I played the game of control; blaming and bargaining - and
I lost. Now I choose to surrender to the reality of who I am. I accept my
disease on a daily basis and I make choices with the awareness of my
disease. And it is getting better.

My belief about my addiction has also given me an insight into God and
His gift of freedom. He loves me enough to give me choice and with this
gift comes responsibility. I believe that I am responsible for how I live
with my addictions. Today I accept that responsibility.

What I believe reflects the God I believe in; I believe in Freedom.

****************
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Old 04-24-2019, 06:12 AM
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Good afternoon Aprils

I'm properly back, laptop and all, yay. I took it to a chap who was recommended to me by several people and now I know why. I had a bit of a fiasco trying to find him, he has a little unit thing on an Industrial Estate only about 3 miles from where I live, I Googled the place and wrote out idiot instructions for myself as I have no sense of direction and I'm rubbish with the GPS, if it tells me to turn left I immediately turn left, even if it's down someone's drive. Anyway I followed my instructions to where it was supposed to be, there was a lot of building work going on all around and I just could not find his unit, none of the streets had name plates on, don't know why and I drove round in a big circle twice. I asked a couple of men in other units if they knew where' Henry's Laptops' was situated and they didn't have a clue. I phoned Henry to get a recorded message saying he wasn't available and to text him or leave a voicemail. I sent him a text not expecting a reply any time soon, but I got one straight away asking if I was on route. I replied advising that I was and after a couple of minutes he phoned me. He apologised for the message saying he was on a call to his mother in law having a deep and meaningful conversation and didn't want to cut her short. He told me to stay where I was and he them came out to find me and took me to his unit. I had been right all along with my directions but the unit had no number or sign on it. Anyway Henry was aged about 35 and he was very polite, he took my laptop, told me to sit down and checked it over whilst I sat there. He told me it could either be that a new screen was needed or possibly a loose connection. He took the screen off and spotted a slightly loose connection which he fixed within minutes, put the screen back on and hey presto, it works as good as new.
But get this, I asked how much I owed him and he told me nothing as it only took him 10 minutes and he wasn't going to charge me for that. I was gobsmacked, what a lovely man, you don't get service like that very often these days. I did give him some money, it was well worth it to me and I know that had I taken the laptop elsewhere they would have kept it for a few days and charged the earth. I'm well impressed. It's really made my day to know that there are some decent, kind and honest people out there.

Other than that all is good, it's a bit colder today with a forecast of thunderstorms later. The g.children all went back to school so I did the school run this morning then the 'mum run' so she could go and do some more compulsive shopping.

Thanks for sharing that prayer Suze, it's very meaningful and I can relate to it all. Oh and what's all this about flirting eh??

Back later, have an amazing 'top of the hill' day. Much love to you all. xx
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Old 04-24-2019, 03:05 PM
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23.00

Goodnight Aprils, maybe see you all tomorrow. xx
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Old 04-24-2019, 03:49 PM
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Y’all on my mind just want to say congrats on the sober time that y’all worked hard on makes me happy to see y’all reaching goals and living a sober life free from the addiction chains well done April family May there be plenty of more days months and years of achieving goals and live a lovely beautiful positive life I believe in you all take care much love
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Old 04-24-2019, 04:16 PM
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I hope you're still fighting for your own future and your own happiness too Nichole

D
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Old 04-24-2019, 04:18 PM
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Matthew - looks like my post didn't take.

I'm Australian so I've been in that horrible position of watching someone lose their life in the surf. It's a tragic thing to happen, even when its a stranger.

I'm so sorry you had to see that.

D
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Old 04-25-2019, 01:02 AM
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morn all x

i have taken this thur and fri off as holidays, so can sort things out. On tuesday i had another melt down and totaly black out in the evening. Had my appointment with alcohol clinic yesterday and went through the assessment, they said as i havent been back since last year was they needed to see where i was and what they can do. This time i said when asked do you want to cut down and control or be absent? i said cutting down or even trying to control my drinking is impossible so all i need is a 1 on 1 with someone to keep me absent while i wait for CPN and pdoc to sort out what meds may help me further, same old really, anyway i will again attempt taking the diazapam to help with withdrawals. when i saw my pdoc he said if i need to see him before 27th may concerning anything is to get in touch, also before then when i come back from daughters is i should be allocated a alcohol Councillor and they should be more up to speed on what they are letting themselves in for. so who knows, also i may have heard from surgery team for my date when i come back, thats the important thing to just get done and over with so i dont become obsessed and suicidal and plan for it. did tell them at alcohol clinic and said its ok as i have stopped looking into ways and guess they looked at me funny, as they was people i never really talked to before and i have this obsession in suicide in the most strangest way arrrghh cant believe i am telling u this. please dont take any notice!!! just my usual fleeing moments i have grr when writing grr


snitch again congrats on your year x sry for the above x

anyway got dog bed in washing machine to take with us on sat and get other stuff things sorted.

have good day x
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Old 04-25-2019, 03:15 AM
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Good morning Aprils and its a cloudy, chilly one here, back to my jumper and warm clothes. I hope you are all well, happy and sober.

Thank you Nichole, lovely to see your post and I re-iterate what Dee says.

Matthew/Dee I'm so lucky to have never been in that position, I can only imagine and the thought chills me.

Morning Erratic, I'm sorry about what happened to you on Tuesday, it must be pretty scary for you. I'm glad you went to the alcohol clinic and I agree with you, abstinence is the only way. I think we all know that cutting down and controlling drinking doesn't work, it never did for me anyway and I must have tried it a billion, gazillion times. Give it your best shot, you've taken a big step forward in asking for 1 on 1 and I truly believe you can stay sober if that's what you really want. Take all the help that's offered to you and don't forget that we've all got your back too.
Please don't be sorry for anything you say here, you don't need to be sorry, you're only saying what a lot of us think or have thought at times.
Keep posting, don't battle on alone. Big hugs. xx

Going to catch up on my other threads now, back later. Much love to you all. xx
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Old 04-25-2019, 03:55 AM
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I agree with Daisy Erratic - we know you and love you - no need to feel sorry about anything you share here. We just want whats best for you

and thank you Daisy - it was many years ago now for me.

D
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Old 04-25-2019, 05:26 AM
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thanks daisy and dee x

its turned blue skies here, was jumper and warm jacket yesterday here daisy.

xx
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Old 04-25-2019, 04:07 PM
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Goodnight/day all. xx
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:36 PM
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Erratic, keep trying!!! You’re worth it and you can do it. Stick with us.

So good news and bad news. The good news is my Colonoscopy + Endoscopy look perfect. The bad news is my Colonoscopy + Endoscopy look perfect. There are a couple of biopsies to come back just in case for Celiacs and something else. How many young, hot, sparky nurses can they put in one clinic??? It boggles the mind. It was like heaven in there. Fortunately I had other things to worry about. Should have been a nurse. 😩

They really f-Ed me over by not telling me I cannot have a SIBO test for 8 weeks after a colonoscopy because the prep screws up the results. If I had known I would not have waited for their idiot asses to get back to me, gone to my APRN and paid cash for the test immediately!!! Idiots.

anyway... I have my phone appointment with the ND, Naturopathic Physician, from California on Tuesday at 4:30. I think I’ll end up going there. She works with you beforehand to prep for a water fast and then learning a new way of eating, at the clinic. They detox your system like crazy. Take you off everything and restart on an extremely strict, healthy diet . Get used to that for a week and come back. Hopefully by then I have the energy to keep going and cook all my own stuff.

So for my weight, only a 3-4 day water fast (fasting makes it easier to adjust the palate and resets the system), then get on the diet. They load on the veggies. The food looks excellent. Nice single rooms are $149 a night, including tons of gourmet vegan food, and classes held by the doctors. There are some reasonable initial fees, and if course the price of a flight to Cali.

I wont spend more than my Brazil trip, and I could come back on my way to good health and a real life. I’ll probably be on a strict diet the rest of my life. I may be giving up on travel. I’d like to just get a place in the New Mexico high desert. I’d keep to my diet, get a dog, and live simply. Get a job of some kind. Or if I’m healthy stay around here depending on making money.

Im a little ticked off that my sister is breaking into the big time with one of businesses and I can’t be there to get in on it, too sick. I’d be in on the ground floor. Her real estate and architectural photography business has broken into Hotels with her first Marriott. It’s brand new and they need the photos for the web site and brochures etc. You get into something like that and it’s going from on Marriott owned hotel to another, making good money and getting free stays.

Vipe 🐍

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Old 04-26-2019, 05:45 AM
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Good afternoon Aprils, hope all is good with you lot. All is ok with me apart from the weather, it's soooo cold and wet and windy, apparently storm Hannah is on its way and due to hit us tonight , Eeek!

Good to see you posting Viper and it's really good news that your scopes didn't show anything sinister and even better that they are perfect. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long for the results of your biopsies and with any luck they'll be perfect too. Bit of a pain having to wait so long for your SIBO test though, hopefully the results of that will be fine too. By summer you could be well on the road to recovery, fingers and everything crossed.
It's a real pity that you can't be there to help your sister with her business break through, but no doubt if it all goes well, there will be more and by then you will be in good health. For now, look after yourself and do as you're told. Don't be putting your blood pressure up either ogling all those hot, sparky nurses

Back later, much love to you all. xx
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Old 04-26-2019, 10:30 AM
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Daisy, I’m not worried about helping my sister. I need a vocation!

As I said my consultation for the clinic in California is Tuesday. I should go there. I’m reading peoples accounts of fasting and starting on what they call the Whole Food Vegetable Based no Oil/Salt/Sugar, diet. It’s not easy. When your body stops working on digestion a massive amount of energy is available for healing, kicking out out toxins, etc. it can be very unpleasant.

I still feel lousy. I’m just ding one foot in front if the other.

I think I will ask the Naturopath to just schedule me to go to california. I am running out of options and western medicine has nothing for me.

V
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Old 04-26-2019, 02:15 PM
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Hey all

Sorry, it's been go go go!

I set my alarm for 7 and switched off as was sooo tired still and woke at 9 and had to rush to make my meeting. They gave me a lovely bunch of flowers and s signed card for my 1 year , then a whole bunch of us went for coffee and then i had lunch with my sponsor and 2 other AA members. My dad came down to pick us up as we are at my parents for the weekend and we went and got Seren and this evening we have been to my brother's to see my niece and nephew. Just got into bed!!

Tomorrow I am going to watch Millwall play with my dad!! He is a lifelong millwall fan and I wanted to spend some time with him and so I asked him if I could come to a football match. I am not really into football but I hought it would be really nice to go with him to something he loves!

Apart from that all is ticking over. I feel very happy today. Grateful to be free from the shackles of alcohol. A drink barely crosses my mind nowadays and when mit does I shoo it away like an annoying fly!

Daisy that is a lovely thing that guy did. Therr are really nice genuine people in this world ☺☺

Erratic, we are here for you! Share whatever you want to share, good or bad! This is a support group and we are here to support you as you support us. ❤❤

Oh Vipe I really though they would find out what's wrong! Keep going buddy. You will get there in the end and I will keep all crossed for you it is sooner rather than later!!

Nichole, let us know how you are doing honey?

Hi Dee!

Right am off to sleep. Gotta be fresh for the footie tomorrow 🤣🤣🤣 night all

Night all x x
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Old 04-26-2019, 04:26 PM
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I just hope it all gets sorted Viper and the sooner the better. Do what you have to do.

Good to see you back Suze, how nice of the people from your meeting giving you a card and flowers etc.
Enjoy your day with your dad, I think it's lovely of you to ask to go to the match with him, I bet he's delighted.

Going to bed now as I'm very tired and it's very late. See you all tomorrow. xx
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Old 04-26-2019, 05:42 PM
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Have a good weekend everyone

D
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Old 04-26-2019, 10:55 PM
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morn all x

off on our travels today so hope to pop in on sunday or tonight if can. xxx

have good day xxx
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Old 04-26-2019, 11:19 PM
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Thanks Dee, have a good weekend yourself too.

Safe journey Erratic, bet you can't wait to see baby Willem. I hope you have an amazing weekend with him and your daughter.

Good morning Aprils, I hope you're all well. It's only 7.15 a.m and its an awful morning out there, blowing a gale, pouring with rain and cold too. Not made any plans so I'll just go with the flow. I hope you all have a good weekend.

xx
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Old 04-27-2019, 09:50 PM
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Hi, my brother and sister care and cleaned up my rooms back here. The TV den they took out the old carpet and books and a ton of junk. They cleaned the hardwood and bookcases etc. it looks and SMELLS like a different room. They did a lot in my bedroom too. I’ve been pretty out of it and besides the moldy big carpet and books and s——-t have been in these rooms for 40 years.

So VW is releasing all of the diesel cars they took back after the scandal. They un-scandaled them mechanically, which means basically they get a realistic gas mileage within US emission standards. Long story short they have a million of them. My sister grabbed up a little Jetta gem like new at half price. My car has been a piece of junk. One thing after another and 200k miles on it. I don’t want to get rid of it. But it looks like the family came together and is arranging a VW for me. I went by myself to the dealer and chose the first one I sat in. A blue 2011 Jetta 6 speed manual, hatchback, with 50k miles. (I guess you guys know the Jetta Wagon Hatchback as the Golf. We have a shorter version we call the Golf). It’s pretty much new. Not a mark on it or in it. The highest trim level, every option. Certified, serious warranty, all service and new brakes, tires, etc etc. This VW dealer gets the best of the best. The prices are amazing. It’s like getting a new car for 1/3 the price. I sat in some other vehicles but this was great. Drives like a dream.

So just being shown people will help us a big boost today.

It looks like I’m getting into that car fast. They don’t want my ruminating and OCD to sour this.

I don’t know if people are still mad at VW but the scandal was a in like 2014. People gave back like-new cars and VW needs to recoup money. I’ll take advantage. These cars are a steal right now and VW did s fantastic job refurbishing them like new.

i haven’t bought it yet. I don’t like fancy stuff and to me I just think, ‘that’s a six month trip to Brazil in style!’

Ok next time.

V🐍
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