Daisybelle

Good morning Aprils and a happy Sunday to you all. It's early here at just turned 7.30 am, I've already been up for over an hour but that's my favourite time of day, when everyone else is still in bed.
Last night when I was perusing S.R I read a very motivating post '25 years' by Surly Redhead, please go and read it if you get chance It really moved and inspired me.

Wow Viper, that was so kind of your brother and sister, they obviously think the world of you. We used to have a big, old dark green Jetta many years back, I remember it fondly, it was like driving a tank. The one you've picked sounds amazing, I hope you get it soon.

Back later, enjoy your day, whatever you're doing. xxxx

Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming, Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll later regret.

snitch

Morning all happy sunday!

Wow Vipe how beautiful! Choked me up reading that!

Morning Daisy, I haven't seen that thread I will look out for it. I love reading stories like that, it inspires me so much. I do not like reading people are in pain and still drinking however those stories serve as a stark reminder to me too of where I do not want to be and where I easily could be if I were to pick up a drink today.

I had a good day out with my dad at football yesterday. I enjoyed it! Except it was soooooo cold. Anyway as we walked into the stadium I was hit by the smell of beer. It reminded me of concerts and festivals and it perked up some neurons in my brain. At one point i was sitting watching the football and I was having thoughts of buying a large wine and literally downing it to get the full effect. My mind starting to go with how can I ever not drink again??? Very dangerous. I concentrated on the game and and the thought disappeared and later when I was home the thought of a drink repulsed me! But it was there for a few minutes.

However I am waking up sober and hangover free yay! And I have a gratitude meeting to go to this morning and more family time and will be going home later this afternoon.

Daisy thanks for that "thought" about the pause. I try to practice that alot now! It doesn't come naturally to me I am such a reactor. Lol. But it has helped me in many occasions and it is a good reminder to me today!

Have a lovely lovely everyone. X x

xxxNICHOLExxx

Hey y’all
Glad everyone seems to be doing awesome!!! Makes me happy to see everyone pushing through and living the good life!!! I haven’t had a drink since Wednesday decided work on one thing at a time so it’s not so overwhelming then after I got control over not drinking I’m going to work on the other issues I have. Snitch your post about the football makes me think about the upcoming weekend I have a concert Saturday then Tuesday I have another concert I’m just going to focus on the music I’ve been waiting months to see this band and counting down the days I definitely don’t want to ruin it with alcohol the tickets wasn’t cheap and I get to meet the band so I want to remember this not remember drinking!!!
Hopefully y’all have an amazing day enjoy life!!!

Erratic

evening all x

OMG great job nicholex xx i am also sober x

what a character willem is now, with him walking and all that. Its been lovely to see him and also my lovely daughter x

sry just a quick pop in will check in again soon xx

have great evening everyone hugs to all xx

snitch

Hey all

Great to hear you are both sober Nichole and Erratic. It's the only way for us ladies!!. We have to accept that we are alcoholics and we have 2 choices. 1. Continue to drink and live in blackout, fear, anxiety and despair. 2.surrender to the fact that alcohol has zero place in our lives, that we cannot ever drink moderately and safely and then put 100% into our recovery to make the best life possible for ourselves.

They really are the only 2 options we have.

So, I need to look over old posts but I feel I may be coming full cycle into my hate everyone, dont give a f#$k, feing depressed and emotional cycle. I have had drinking thoughts this weekend also using thoughts, I know my mum has co-codamel tablets in her cupboard which contain codeine which is an opioid I particularly like and the lure of drinking and using to numb out and escape reality was pretty strong. However my HP is stronger but I was feeling really resentful today towards my brother and my sister in law. My brother didnt come to the CA meeting with me. He seems to think he is "cured" because he hasn't done any cocaine for a couple of weeks now as he has been off work sick with a shoulder injury. Yeh right! Then he invited my mum and dad round for a roast dinner today but not me and seren even though we were at my parents! He said there wasn't enough room which I interpreted as his wife saying there wasnt enough room. Then my dad was chatting away to him on the phone all jolly and happy even tho to me he moans so much about how useless my brother is with his drinking and using!.ugh I just wanted to get away from them all. On the way home I broke my sugar ban by buying and eating a family pack size of m&m's.! So I feel sick now. But... I haven't drunk. I shared with other alcoholics how I felt and I put it all down on paper to see where my resentment was stemming from. And I found out it was my self esteem, my pride, my ambitions, my personal relationships and my security that were being affected and that I was being selfish in wanting my wants and needs to be met, and expecting my brother to be something he is not and to go somewhere he does not want. His drinking and using are nothing to do with me. I am powerless over his thinking and his actions. I was also pissed off because I am like, look at me , look at what a good job I am doing, how on earth can you not want to be like me lol. I also felt resentful that he was drinking today because I wanted to drink and I can't (aww poor me moment) and I was pissed that he is still so stuck in denial that he has a drinking problem whereas I am well aware and therefore am having to do something about it. But I turned it around into gratitude. Thank God I AM aware today. Thank God I am doing something about it today. Because if I wasn't I would be in a serious mess by now. Probably dead. And I am not. I have been given a 2nd chance. I spent this evening reading with my daughter in bed and chatting with her and cuddling her and stroking her hair and face. I wouldnt have been able to do that now if I had been drinking today. I would be comotosed next to her, completely unaware of how fantastic she is and how special this time together is.

So I need to be extra vigilant at this time. Keep up my step work, my meetings and sharing what is going on in this f$&ked up little head of mine lol.

Catch you all tomorrow !!!

Xxxx

Daisybelle

Good evening Aprils and it's good to see a few posts tonight.

Suze, that post is well worth reading, it both moved and inspired me. I prefer to read the success stories too. I'm glad you enjoyed the football with your dad, you couldn't have picked a worst day, weather wise, it was awful. Well done though, for talking yourself out of the sudden urge to drink, it happens, but thankfully you didn't act on it and what a good feeling it is to wake up sober and hangover free.
I'm trying to practise the pause too and it doesn't come naturally to me either, but I'm a work in progress. xx

How wonderful to read your post Nichole, well done on day 4, see you can do it. I think you've made the right decision in working on one thing at a time, keep doing what you're doing. xxx

Well done to you too Erratic, that's fab news. I'm glad you enjoyed your visit with your daughter and baby Willem, I bet you saw a difference in him. xx

G'night Aprils, lots of love to you. xxx

Viperidae

Daisybelle

You just do what's right for you Viper. Let us know how your meeting goes tomorrow. Good luck. xx

Love to you all, have the best Monday you can. Back later. xx

Erratic

evening all x

just another quick pop in while willem is having his dinner. He is having his first omelette which his grandpa made him.

good to see u viper, daisy,snitch and nicholex xxxx oh and our dee xxx

Daisybelle

Hope you've taken loads of pics of Willem Erratic, what did he think of his Omelette? Happy memories. x

Good night lovely Aprils. xx

Daisybelle

Good morning Aprils

I hope you're all well, happy & sober.
Have a good day whatever you're doing. Back later. xx

Don’t let the sadness of your past and the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present.

snitch

Morning Apriler's

One day left of April!

Am getting in the garden this weekend to get it all ship shape for summer. A nice relaxing weekend at home is what I have planned!

My weekend was a bit up and down but am back on track now. Talked it through with my sponsor and shared about it in my meeting yesterday. It's still that control thing with me. I am completely powerless over other people and how they act and what they do and if I REACT to it only disturbs my own peace and serenity. My sponsor also said to me that maybe my HP was doing for me what I could not do for myself!! My brother would usually always invite us around and he didnt on Sunday and you know what, thank God he didnt because I had been having drinking thoughts and it would have been crazy to have put myself in a situation where I was around people drinking red wine! Pretty cool hey?

So I got back on the healtjy food wagon instead of having a week long binge as going down that road would have just depressed me. I feel so good when I am putting nutritious, healthy food into my body. However chocolate beats alcohol hands down and those m&m's on Sunday were my saviour lol.

How are things with all your grandchildren Daisy?

Awww Erratic, lovely! Quality time with your grandson. Nothing beats that!

Vipe! What's going on?? Are you getting the car then or not? You have a good family there that love you 😊😊

Right, am getting up. Shower and meeting . Update on my friend who drank... she said she has come clean to her sponsor about her drinking and she thanked me for helping her (!) And that she wants to get well! Wow! I hope that is the case but I can never tell with her if she is being truthful or not but again that is nothing to do with me, all I know is I have to protect my sobriety. However saying that, I pray it is true as I want to see her get well. I dont want to see any of my friends here or in the fellowship drink!

Am praying for patience, tolerance and compassion today ! I have been finding people irritating lately. Can hear the kid running around upstairs like a lion. Bless him . It's not his fault. Now the mother on tbe other hand.....🤔 !! Parience, tolerance, compassion, patience, tolerance, compassion .... repeat! Lol

Have a fab, sober day all!!

Daisybelle

G.evening Aprils, hope you've all had a good day. All good with me and the weather hasn't been too bad either, quite warm really.
My son had my grandson for a couple of hours after school today and I had to go an pick him up at 7, I picked my mum up from her choir practice first and had to take her with me. She hasn't seen my son for quite a few months and she was really shocked when she saw the state of him, she said he looked like a down & out. It's very sad and I've quoted the 'sick man' prayer to myself several times this evening.

I can't quite believe it's 01 May tomorrow Suze, I just don't know where the time has gone, it just flies by. I'm hoping to get some work done in my garden too this weekend, hopefully the weather will be kind to us.
Your sponsor had a good take on what happened at weekend. She could be right about your H.P looking out for you, it makes sense doesn't it?
My 3 grandchildren are all fine, thank you for asking, there's only 5 months between my granddaughter and my live in grandson, makes me laugh because he only comes up to her armpit. They were like the terrible twins when they were toddlers and they still have a love/hate relationship.
I'd still be on the wary side re that A.A friend to be honest, keep her at arms length until you know for sure.
P.S I loved your 375 days post. Congrats. xx

Well that's about it for now, I'll go and have a catch up on my other threads. Love to you all and I'll be back tomorrow. xx

Dee74

congrats to everyone on your second April down

D

bluesymusey

Daisybelle

G.morning April's, posting from my phone with sono reading glasses, so please excuse any typos. I'm just sat in the car outside the doctor's waiting for my mum. Nothing serious, just routine bloods and a blood pressure check. Then I'll drop her in town so she can do a bit more compulsive shopping 😂. Whatever she buys today, she'll take back tomorrow because you can guarantee that it will have one sleeve shorter than the other. I've given up telling her that since she broke her shoulder a few years back she has one arm shorter than the other 🙄.

Thank you so much Dee and well done to you also for getting another April under your belt. X

Hi Bluesey, as always it's good to see your post. I'm glad your work life is slowing down a little. There is life at the end of the tunnel.

Have a good 'top of the hill' day." Love to you all. Back later. Xxx
​​

Daisybelle

G'night Aprils, sleep well. xx

xxxNICHOLExxx

Hey y’all thinking of you lovely people!!
Still not drinking I did get that itch today thinking a drink would be nice but what’s even better not drinking and having that gut feeling of shame regret then losing all control passing out waking up sick nope I’m good on that!!!
I really do want to make this stick I noticed when drinking days turn into weeks turn into months then years the longer I keep pushing it off the harder it keeps getting so why not now?? My biggest struggle other then the cravings is the feeling of “missing out” how to have “fun without” but I guess in all reality the only thing I’m missing out on if I don’t drink is hangover black out passing out or doing something stupid which I can live without that in my life!! I’m trying to really turn my life around I have made plenty of mistakes I don’t want what if’s and regret I already have so much regrets I’m trying to accept and move on because changing the past is impossible but I can decide how my future plays out and I’m thinking full of life and being present it’s definitely one day at a time sometimes one minute at a time and very thankful everyday I wake up and have another chance at life sometimes I forget life is a blessing not a promise!!
Hopefully everyone has a awesome night and a beautiful morning thanks for always being here and show love and support the world needs more people like you

Dee74

I'm glad you're sticking with it Nichole

I have more fun now than I ever did as a drinker, but it can be hard to imagine that if you're still in the same old social circle.

My old friends were all about getting wasted. My friends now, by and large, don't chase that.

D

Daisybelle

Good morning Aprils and I hope you're all well, happy & sober, which goes without saying really. It's a very rainy morning here but quite mild, my weeds will be having a field day. Just back from doing the school and mum runs, the traffic was horrendous coming back so I'm just having a strong coffee and half an hour posting to set me up for the rest of the day.

Yay Nichole, I'm so very, very proud of you. I always knew you could stay sober.
Maybe don't try to think too far ahead, just concentrate on today, today is all we have. I've learnt from experience that I missed out on more when I was drinking because I could never remember half the things that happened because I was too wasted, or in a drunken coma, I've wasted far too much of my life with my head stuck in a bottle and now I get the greatest of joy from the simple things in life. Keep doing what you're doing and keep coming back here to tell us about it. Lots of love to you. xx

Thanks Dee, I've distanced myself from a lot of 'friends' but at the end of the day were they good friends if all they wanted for me was to be drunk and out of it. I have a small circle of close friends now and that's good enough for me. xx

See you all later, I hope you have the best of days. Much love to you all.xxx