Dee74

Good to hear from you Bob. Congrats on your sober time.

Just my 2 cents but I'd run any kind of sudden massive diet change past your Dr?

D

matrac

Good to hear from you Bob. As fo the diabetes, once you get past the initial carb withdrawal, it’s not so bad. I did it about a month after I stopped drinking. By Nov I had lost 50lbs and have maintained it as well as the diet. Maybe a dietician can help you. There are plenty of online resources as well. Best wishes

matrac

Katy, I hope your dad is getting better now. You and your BF have a lot going on. Good luck with your work meeting. STaying sober you can think straight and hopefully it will go well. I’ll be waiting to hear about your next meeting too. With all your stress you need to hang on to the sobriety plans you laid.

DarklingSong

Good to hear from you Bob and good luck with the eating plan.

Hope your mood is picking up Be Kind. Thinking of you.

(((Katy))), you really have so much to contend with and you are doing brilliantly. My anxiety is fairly bearable at the moment. I have been reading a lot and it helps. Strength to you.

Mike and Bob articulated something I have been thinking about all week. I think the serial relapsing has made my obsession with drinking a lot worse and I am not doing enough to focus on developing the skills I need to stay sober. I think, without meaning to, I have used my posting on SR as a kind of justification for doing nothing. Saying to myself "i am trying' but really doing damn all but circle around the pain of my addiction.

Time to change.

matrac

DS, your post is interesting. I guess I find that posting /reading on SR is a way in which I can get support and/or learn how others achieve sobriety. I have tried some of things I’ve read about for myself and what they do for me essentially is to cause me to evaluate my thoughts about drinking against my desire to be sober. There are other things you can do, AA meetings, therapy, life coaches, ect... I think that for myself I have figured out (so far anyway) how to stay sober. Sobriety is a process and a long term committment and so that’s why I haven’t left SR....it works for me and I still think I need the help. The day may come when I don’t, not sure how I’ll decide that.... Interesting post

Aliceiw

It is interesting that you feel that way, Darkling. Are you using SR as an avoidance technique for doing other things that might help you?

Barbs

Hi everyone.

I have been reading but just haven't had the time to post but wanted to check in before another super crazy day tomorrow.

I'm doing really well. CBT has been a lot of work but it's paying off for me.

Good to see you Mike and Bob. Glad you're both doing well. Btw Bob, CBT works well for many behavior changes. Might be worth a look to kick the sugar/carbs.

Bonnie, thinking of you and your pup (((hugs)))

Alice, love the story of you and your fiance. Sounds like the two of you were meant to be. Many blessing to you both.

I'll try to post more in the next day or two if I can. Leave for Nashville on Wednesday. Hopeful things will allow down a bit while I'm there

Love to all.

Ayers

Was written yesterday/ Phase of power was off = no internet

Sunday morning

(((Mike))) wonderful to hear from you – and with such good news to boot !!! Congratulations. I am so pleased for you that you found a way that works for you.

Alice, that is such a lovely story about you and your husband to be. Just goes to show – love will find a way. When is the wedding ? You did mention it , but that was so long ago – I can’t remember – Is it in April ?

Darkling. How are you doing, my friend. Please stay the course and let us know how you are doing?

Bee, sorry to hear you are feeling a bit “grey”, like the weather. Hope the clouds lift today and you have a good one. I think it is high time now for you folks for some lovely sunshine and spring weather. That in itself will lighten your days and moods. I am sending you some lovely spring daffodils – can you see them? Put them in your kitchen windowsill. ((( )))

Katy, have you chiselled away at your workload? And how are you doing otherwise? I hope your dad is healing well. Have a wonderful Sunday today. Make it count. Even by just having a good lazy day.

Bonnie- how is poochie doing? Is the uni of Rochester the one closer to home? I remember you said some of them that she applied to is further from home. Hope this is the one closest – so she can come and visit often. These are such exciting times for our kids – when they go off to study – I remember experiencing my daughter’s excitement as tangible . There were so many emotions at home at that time . Excitement, sadness, trepidation, happiness – all at the same time.

Barbs, how are you today? Off exercising no doubt? I always feel guilty when I read about your activities – I really must get my bootie over to gym. I always start off well and then allow it to dwindle. Have a lovely day, my friend.

Love, hugs and good karma for you all. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ayers

Monday morning

Bob !!! So great to hear from you. Well done. And yes, many people seem to replace alcohol with sugar and carbs. I am also sruggling with too much sugar. Luckily I cut the carbs right at the start. Proud of you for your 1 1/2 months !!

Katy, good luck with your office meeting today. Breathe deeply and face the music . You have so much going on now that you have to contend with - maybe you feel a bit overwhelmed? Be kind to yourself , girl. Thinking of you today.

Love to you all XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sunflower84

Monday morning, start of a new week...

I had a lovely afternoon with my parents yesterday. My Dad is still in a lot of pain but healing very well. Me and my Mum walked the dogs and had tea and cakes and sat in the garden, really lovely day.

Well today I'm pushed for time, I need to get prepared for this meeting, thanks for the kind words Ayers.

I'll check in again tonight after it's all done and dusted.

Thinking of you all and wishing everyone a good start to the week.

Lots of Love xxxxx

Sunflower84

There's a God! My prayers are answered!!!!! lol

I rang the office to have a catch up and speak about this afternoons meeting, the director agrees with me that me taking half a day out getting myself there and back when we don't have much to have a meeting about is crazy when I can be home busy working on turning things around.
So, I'm off the hook and I have had a fantastic start to my working week, it's lunchtime now, this morning has been a huge success, I feel I'm really going to get work up to speed now this month, feeling so much better.

Sorry I'm just ranting about myself here, just stopping for a quick herbal tea then back to it so I'll post more later after work.

Bekindalways

Congrats for wining a couple more hours in your day Katy.

I was a bit grey yesterday too but got up and out in the afternoon which helped me. I ran some not-very-important errands but it was better than sitting on the couch.

Today I go to my sister's to spend a week looking after her granddaughter. I'm really looking forward to it. Granddaughter is about 2 and a half. It will be the first time my dad is on his own in his independent living apartment in 3 months. I'm not sure how he will do.

Bad things: my sewing machine is screwed up and I had to take it to be repaired; I lost my car in a parking lot . . .irk.

Good things: I am still really enjoying my frozen lemon blended with coconut water drink; I will see a friend for whom I make victorian clothes.

So off to pack a bit, send directions to a renter, and call insurance company.

Yeehaw . . . .not necessarily feeling that but trying.

DarklingSong

I hope you have a great trip Be Kind and find lots of things to lift the mood.

Katy......delighted your day turned out better than expected. Good luck with the work.....and prayers for your Dad.

Lovely to see you Barbs- glad to hear the CBT is paying off.

As for where I am.......my last post was my attempt to figure out where I am going wrong. I think it is true I am not doing enough to develop myself and just moaning on constantly about how crap I feel. Clearly that doesn't qualify as recovery. It is not even 'white knuckling'........its full scale wallowing. The second problem is that I don't feel I should be in this group anymore. I should have left after my second relapse. I love it here and love all of you. I don't want to leave......but it is the right thing to do.

Despite all I have said in other posts, it is becoming too difficult to be here for me. I think I need to gather my resolve and move on. I may join the April group....I don't know. I just know that I am quite demoralised at the moment to be back at day 9 and I need to do things differently.

I love the Augustonians. I wish you all the very best in your journeys. And many, many thanks to you all, from the bottom of my heart, for all the love and support you have so freely given.

Love
Darkling

Barbs

Darkling, so sorry you are struggling for direction. Join what ever group will help you, but I hope you know that that doesn't mean you have to leave here. Nothing wrong with belonging to multiple groups Wishing you strength and clarity on your journey (((hugs)))

Dee74

Hey DS

I just wanted to let you know that as I guy who struggled to stop for 15 years I understand demoralisation.

Never give up. Sobers were you want and need to be.

If necessary simply - I will not drink today. These are my supports and this is how I'll use them.

This is my plan for sudden ambushes of feeling or opportunity.

Keep lookign ahead - listen to your body - cut of the AV dialogue when it starts because the AV only wants one thing.

Have faith that sober is the way to go - if things are not OK now, they will be

I found staying sober was a lot less work than trying to stay drink.

D

Barbs

Yes, there is a God Katy, lol!!! So glad your day has some unexpected joy. Prayers for your dad’s continued recovery.

Bekind and Alice, I haven’t had a chance to respond regarding my job. I am a paralegal for a family law attorney. A lot of divorce, estate administration, estate planning and conservatorships. I deal with a lot of people going through some of the worst times of their life, divorce and the death of a loved one. I feel pretty good on those rare occasions when I have been able to give some comfort or calm some fears.

Ayers, yes at the gym pretty much 5-6 days a week. Part of managing my anxiety.

I have been off of my medication for about 2 weeks now. I didn’t have any trouble with withdrawals but I am noticing my thinking going back to old patterns. I have to keep reminding myself to practice my new skills from CBT. The last 24 hours have been a bit touch and go with some panic, but I managed to keep somewhat it under control.

We leave for Nashville Wednesday night and I brought home a ton of work from the office. I need to have this project completed for a Wednesday morning deposition, ugh.

My mom, has been struggling with bursitis in her hip for about 3 weeks now. She has spent the last 3 days in bed. Not so much from the pain but because she just feels out of sorts (so unlike her). I think a bit overwhelmed that she hasn’t had any improvement and her cousin (who lives across the street) is in the hospital dealing with complications from congested heart failure. I will take her to see her doctor tomorrow afternoon and hopefully we can put a better plan in place for her. I’m really nervous about leaving her for a week. But I have 6 sisters that are very capable and willing of stepping up while I am away. The difficulty comes with me stepping back so they can step up.

Well, enough of a break, back to work for me. Thinking of you all

Bekindalways

Darkling, absolutely do whatever will help you the most. I absolutely hate to lose you and absolutely want to encourage you to go if that is best for you. Watching you struggle with the anxiety and slipping has been like watching the most bad ass athlete going to the very zenith of their performance abilities.

I truly am beyond impressed with you and what you are doing in your life. It has been an honor to be in this group with you. I wish I could reach through this screen grab you by the collar and yell in your face about how amazing you are . . . .. yeah . . . .I have bad boundaries on occasions and my impulses are not always the best.

Most humans seem to love to ignore their demons and blame and complain. I get this and join in plenty of times in this behavior. You, on the other hand, have gone to the mat with some horrific demons. We are all trying to do some version of this but you in particular are really fighting the good fight . . . .I know we all have some rough times ahead. I hope I hit mine with a fraction of the courage and persistence that you have shown.

matrac

DS, I will surely miss you. But I understand the need to move to a “newer” board if you need support from those experiencing your current status. I hope that on occasion you’ll come back and let us know how you are. You can do this, you really can !

Aliceiw

I second what Bonnie said, Darkling. I was tempted to move to a beginners group after my slip, but I stayed here because of the people who know me and know what I struggle with. I found more support here than anywhere. I hope you keep us updated on your progress, and I wish you all the best.

Well -- not much new from me. I went to work this week with my fiance, so I'm typing from a hotel room in San Antonio. It's nice to go to work with him. Much less boring than staying home would be. The last time he was in San Antonio, there was a ghost in his hotel room. She tapped him on the shoulder and woke him up, then disappeared out the window when he jumped out of bed screaming. Needless to say, he does not like going to San Antonio alone anymore in case she comes back! Do you all believe in ghosts? Have you ever seen one? I was sceptical until I saw how very serious my fiance is about the one he saw. He's definitely not the kind of guy to make that stuff up.

Barbs, I'm glad to hear you didn't have any withdrawal coming off of your med. I hope the anxiety dissipates soon as the CBT becomes second nature. I once read a book that gave some really helpful tips for getting over panic and anxiety. It has a corny title, but it's worth a read. "Hope and Help for your Nerves" by Dr. Claire weeks.

Dee - Good advice as usual.

Bekind - Enjoy your time with the grandchildren. I hope your trip gives you something to chase away the doldrums. Loved the advice you gave to Darkling. You're such a positive force in this group.

Katie -- I'm glad you're getting a respite to allow you to catch up with your work.


Great to hear from Bob and Mike! Bob -- I think you should feel free to post your low-carb adventures and struggles here. I for one can relate to the trials and tribulations of trying to go low carb for the sake of health or weightloss!

I'll stay here today working on job applications. redoing my resume seems to have helped. I've been getting a few calls for interviews, which is nice. If I get too bored, maybe Ill walk to a nail salon and get a manicure. I doubt it though. So, It would be good to get a job, but if I do I won't be able to go to work with my fiance anymore.

matrac

Toughest day yet. I had to put my dog down today. She was suffering and the vet said it was time. It is one of the hardest things I’ve done. I am overwhelmed with emotion and grief. So hard also to see my son cry...my husband is devastated as well. I haven’t seen him cry in yrs. It would be nice to have a drink before bed so that my mind will just shut off. I have been having a tough time this week. I know that alcohol will only delay reality, but I could sure use a break.