One Year and Under Club Part 62
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Purps, time2LLL60,Mags1
Thank you so much for your understanding - and very kind - responses. And you're right, toots, I should print it out and I will for that moment when the AV comes knocking. Or when I make the almost classic mistake of thinking I can moderate.... as if.
I also really love that you have all so self-evidently found peace as well as happiness from not drinking. That's the place I want to be please and I am certainly heading there. Reflecting on your point, Mags, about whether my younger self would have listened to advice from the (now rather old) me I really don't know. So long as I stay sober now for the rest of my life I'll take that. And I'm beyond grateful that my own son hasn't followed my footsteps as far as alcohol is concerned.
It's 7 pm in the U.K. so I wish you all a good evening and I look forward to further conversations.
Thank you so much for your understanding - and very kind - responses. And you're right, toots, I should print it out and I will for that moment when the AV comes knocking. Or when I make the almost classic mistake of thinking I can moderate.... as if.
I also really love that you have all so self-evidently found peace as well as happiness from not drinking. That's the place I want to be please and I am certainly heading there. Reflecting on your point, Mags, about whether my younger self would have listened to advice from the (now rather old) me I really don't know. So long as I stay sober now for the rest of my life I'll take that. And I'm beyond grateful that my own son hasn't followed my footsteps as far as alcohol is concerned.
It's 7 pm in the U.K. so I wish you all a good evening and I look forward to further conversations.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 456
Hello everyone,
My brain is like thick mud today, nothing is moving, so a very lazy day today for me.
It is a slow transition over the years how drinking changed for me. It’s such a slow change that it is almost hard to notice the change because the lines get blurred as my brain changed. I am just realizing that each time I reached for that drink, it wasn’t for fun. It was to get relief from anxiety and to lift my unhappiness which it clearly wasn’t doing. It just made it worse, but that one part of my brain said fun and the other part of my brain was so messed up it didn’t hear it.
I refer to myself as a slow learner lately mainly because of all the years of hurting my brain with booze. I have faith that will improve with time. I think that is what is scaring me a lot right now, my lack of being able sometimes to comprehend what I read and to think straight. I am just going to chalk it up to a down day today.
It has been so hot lately, when it cools a bit I need to get out for a fresh air walk.
My brain is like thick mud today, nothing is moving, so a very lazy day today for me.
It is a slow transition over the years how drinking changed for me. It’s such a slow change that it is almost hard to notice the change because the lines get blurred as my brain changed. I am just realizing that each time I reached for that drink, it wasn’t for fun. It was to get relief from anxiety and to lift my unhappiness which it clearly wasn’t doing. It just made it worse, but that one part of my brain said fun and the other part of my brain was so messed up it didn’t hear it.
I refer to myself as a slow learner lately mainly because of all the years of hurting my brain with booze. I have faith that will improve with time. I think that is what is scaring me a lot right now, my lack of being able sometimes to comprehend what I read and to think straight. I am just going to chalk it up to a down day today.
It has been so hot lately, when it cools a bit I need to get out for a fresh air walk.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Great advice Purp, one thing we do need to do in the early days is find another 'reward' .
It is true that you can find contentment in sobriety, maybe not the peaks and troughs of drinking, but to be honest, I'm done with the emotional highs and lows I was forced through when I wasn't in my right mind.
Time2 my head was really foggy, both in active drinking and in early recovery, I am clearer headed these days, but still wonder how many 'little grey cells' I killed off!
It is true that you can find contentment in sobriety, maybe not the peaks and troughs of drinking, but to be honest, I'm done with the emotional highs and lows I was forced through when I wasn't in my right mind.
Time2 my head was really foggy, both in active drinking and in early recovery, I am clearer headed these days, but still wonder how many 'little grey cells' I killed off!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Time2 - I have days like that too even at this relatively early stage of getting better and I have concluded they must 'just' be a part of recovery. I try and remind myself how much worse I felt in the jumpy, foggy-brained anxiety ridden drinking days and I also try and achieve one specific thing, often very minor, each day. And I mean very minor, for example driving to the recycling centre! I might also try and find a 'reward'. Since I stopped drinking I seem to have much more time on my hands which is a plus in many ways but which is also still a bit disorientating in other ways. Still I'll have that kind of disorientation any day!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 456
Hi unders and overs!
I did sit back last night and watched a calming video about Islands, it sort of took me away for awhile, and with a little imagination I could feel the sand below my feet.
I talked with my dr today and I am going to try a very low dose of one of the older type AD's to possibly help with my mood and some nerve pain that I have been dealing with for awhile. We'll see how that works, I have mixed feelings, but I am willing to see if it helps, especially after the first couple months when that is the time that I get feeling not sure what to do and I end up going back to the drink.
Interesting how the first of the year goes so slow and wow, August just flew by and Sept is in 5 days! Heard a comerical for pumpkin coffee already.
I did sit back last night and watched a calming video about Islands, it sort of took me away for awhile, and with a little imagination I could feel the sand below my feet.
I talked with my dr today and I am going to try a very low dose of one of the older type AD's to possibly help with my mood and some nerve pain that I have been dealing with for awhile. We'll see how that works, I have mixed feelings, but I am willing to see if it helps, especially after the first couple months when that is the time that I get feeling not sure what to do and I end up going back to the drink.
Interesting how the first of the year goes so slow and wow, August just flew by and Sept is in 5 days! Heard a comerical for pumpkin coffee already.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
That foggy brain is a familiar thing for many of us it seems
I like that you talked to your doctor, Time2, and that you have some professional help in addition to the voices of experience here. That’s very wise of you!!
The island video sounds really nice. Good luck and keep moving forward!
I like that you talked to your doctor, Time2, and that you have some professional help in addition to the voices of experience here. That’s very wise of you!!
The island video sounds really nice. Good luck and keep moving forward!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 456
Thanks MITA
I know there are a couple of gratitude threads, but since I am up and in here right now, I was going to throw in my gratitude. I am grateful that all the choices I made today were good ones. Good choices that helped to make me better, and were healthy. Even choosing to freeze a banana and blueberries for dessert instead of running to the store for ice cream or those delicious smelling cinnamon buns I saw earlier.
Drinking sparkling berry mineral water and not paying any attention to the ocktober fest beer that my husband brought home for himself. I didn't allow a craving to happen, I told myself that all I really wanted was something cold and carbonated, and the mineral water hit the spot instead of the sickly sweet and aftertaste drink he had. Mine was more refreshing.
So I am grateful I did well today.
I know there are a couple of gratitude threads, but since I am up and in here right now, I was going to throw in my gratitude.
I am grateful that all the choices I made today were good ones. Good choices that helped to make me better, and were healthy. Even choosing to freeze a banana and blueberries for dessert instead of running to the store for ice cream or those delicious smelling cinnamon buns I saw earlier. Drinking sparkling berry mineral water and not paying any attention to the ocktober fest beer that my husband brought home for himself. I didn't allow a craving to happen, I told myself that all I really wanted was something cold and carbonated, and the mineral water hit the spot instead of the sickly sweet and aftertaste drink he had. Mine was more refreshing.
So I am grateful I did well today.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Time2, being in a positive mindset and looking at recovery as a better choice will strengthen your resolve. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I was on ADs when I stopped drinking at with my docs agreement continued until I felt I was strong enough to come off them.
As to what to do with your new sober hours? Well, just about anything you want to! I did the Cto5K challenge and still run with the dog a few mornings a week. I also started writing again, and have now self published several books online, an achievement I am immensely proud of regardless of whether they're any good or not!
Meditation as mentioned by Purp is a definite mental and emotional strengthener.
Think about those things your younger self enjoyed before you drank, do any of them still appeal? Or is there something the new, sober you wants to do to celebrate? Do a night class, or if you're retired, an afternoon class! Finding people who share our interests can help us to enjoy life outwith drinking. And new people in your life will only ever know you sober, so no uncomfortable moments.
Even just taking a walk in the evening and communing with nature instead of lodged in a chair with a glass in your hand!
As to what to do with your new sober hours? Well, just about anything you want to! I did the Cto5K challenge and still run with the dog a few mornings a week. I also started writing again, and have now self published several books online, an achievement I am immensely proud of regardless of whether they're any good or not!
Meditation as mentioned by Purp is a definite mental and emotional strengthener.
Think about those things your younger self enjoyed before you drank, do any of them still appeal? Or is there something the new, sober you wants to do to celebrate? Do a night class, or if you're retired, an afternoon class! Finding people who share our interests can help us to enjoy life outwith drinking. And new people in your life will only ever know you sober, so no uncomfortable moments.
Even just taking a walk in the evening and communing with nature instead of lodged in a chair with a glass in your hand!
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,698
I know when I drank, I had highs and lows and tried to keep the highs constant with booze.
When I stopped drinking I wanted to change my life, everything seemed wrong in it and I wanted to right it! Fortunately I didn’t rush into any life changing events because of the wise words I read here on SR.
I read that for the first year of sobriety don’t do anything life changing (unless your life is in danger of course), and I think for me, it took that long to get my head sober and free of confusion and anxiety. I’d had anxiety before I drank so it wasn’t going to disappear because I’d put my head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich!
But it does all pass, with the right tools for each of us, we can stay sober in recovery.
When I stopped drinking I wanted to change my life, everything seemed wrong in it and I wanted to right it! Fortunately I didn’t rush into any life changing events because of the wise words I read here on SR.
I read that for the first year of sobriety don’t do anything life changing (unless your life is in danger of course), and I think for me, it took that long to get my head sober and free of confusion and anxiety. I’d had anxiety before I drank so it wasn’t going to disappear because I’d put my head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich!
But it does all pass, with the right tools for each of us, we can stay sober in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
I think Mags is right that life changing planning is not the way to go in year 1! Certainly not for me anyway. I love the idea of an evening walk, toots, and in fact I’ve been doing that. That’s one of the best things about having stopped in summer but I hope to keep it up in the autumn too. I’ve also rekindled my attempts at learning a second language which has been a good way to spend some of my ‘extra’ time although slow progress isn’t the word. Mostly I’m finding it interesting to note the changes that have ensued/are ensuing, both good and not so easy and I’m beginning to accept it’ll be a while before I’m able to believe that I have arrived finally at the new sober me, so to speak. It’s really helpful and interesting to hear people’s reflections, especially those who are much further down the path to planned, long-lasting sobriety. (I nearly said abstinence there but of course as Dee points out that’s not quite the same thing).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 456
Hi unders and overs! (keep wanting to type undies)
I really appreciate all the input, and I value your knowledge and experience.
Waking up this morning all these thoughts of changing my world were swirling around in my head. I had to rein it all back in before it got out of control. lol
I'll take it slow, but each day I'll make something work for me that is positive. I am a bit tired tonight so I am going to go put my feet up and relax.
I really appreciate all the input, and I value your knowledge and experience.
Waking up this morning all these thoughts of changing my world were swirling around in my head. I had to rein it all back in before it got out of control. lol
I'll take it slow, but each day I'll make something work for me that is positive. I am a bit tired tonight so I am going to go put my feet up and relax.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
I also found that writing a journal during the first year, helped me to get my emotions and thoughts straight in my mind, and gives you something to look back over when you are feeling tempted.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Right! Feedback duly noted and considered. Thank you. I've decided to introduce a new element into my recovery plan from 1st September, which is to start a journal. I don't know how I'll get on but I'm going to give it a go. So thanks again to everyone for their posts and toots and Mags in particular for that suggestion.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Valley of the Sun, AZ
Posts: 3,458
Hey there unders! I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend so far.
I got back from a week of traveling yesterday and got to rest up a bit last night. I had some crazy dreams, so a clear sign I wasn't sleeping well enough while on the road. On the flight back, I was listening the audiobook version of "Drinking: A Love Story". It's an excellent listen and I've seen it recommended on this site a lot of times - I could relate to a lot of it. Still, I had to set it aside for a while because I was getting some creeping AV and cravings, etc. One of my good SR friends in another thread mentioned "triggers" - which I think is exactly what this was for me. I think the combination of being tired from traveling and the audiobook content itself were enough to get my brain to start bringing these bad thoughts forward.
I guess the moral of the story is, if you're not in a good place with respect to sleep, food, exercise, etc., you need to be extra careful - at least I do!! Back to practicing some self care this week.
I got back from a week of traveling yesterday and got to rest up a bit last night. I had some crazy dreams, so a clear sign I wasn't sleeping well enough while on the road. On the flight back, I was listening the audiobook version of "Drinking: A Love Story". It's an excellent listen and I've seen it recommended on this site a lot of times - I could relate to a lot of it. Still, I had to set it aside for a while because I was getting some creeping AV and cravings, etc. One of my good SR friends in another thread mentioned "triggers" - which I think is exactly what this was for me. I think the combination of being tired from traveling and the audiobook content itself were enough to get my brain to start bringing these bad thoughts forward.
I guess the moral of the story is, if you're not in a good place with respect to sleep, food, exercise, etc., you need to be extra careful - at least I do!! Back to practicing some self care this week.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
HALTS MITA, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Stressed, all vulnerable emotional situations with regards to AV. You did right to put away the audio book until you feel emotionally stronger. Hope you're recovered today from all the travelling.
Hope you're recovered today from all the travelling.
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