ManInTheArena

Thanks, Toots and Mags. That book can definitely wait for a better time.

The HALTS thing is real, Toots - so thanks for that, too.

Have a great Sunday everyone!!

ManInTheArena

Good morning Rose, Mags, Time2 and Toots. Just checking in to say Happy Labor Day!

I see my friend Purps all over the place here on SR, so I can see she's off to a good start this Monday

Anyone have big plans today? I've just got some chores and things to do - staying away from the drinking crowds as best as I can.

Rose335

Good evening MITA. (10' o'clock at night here in the U.K.) I've had a good day, thank you, if a bit exhausting. Babycare this morning, a social event this afternoon and a dinner with friends this evening. I was a bit late and my two friends had ordered cocktails and when I got there they said - without any attitude at all - we didn't get one for you because you're not drinking are you? My change of habits is going unnoticed - well noticed but unnoticed - in the best possible way. I was pleased about that.

Happy Labor Day and I hope you have or have had a good one.

tootsl1

Isn't it wonderful how some friends accept without derogatory or negative comments Rose, or worse, try to get you to drink or won't take no for an answer. Sounds like you have two good pals there! Btw, where in the U.K.? I live in Dundee now, but have gotten around a bit!

MITA, hubby had a rare Monday off so we had a game of golf and thoroughly enjoyed it!

Mags1

Rose, good that your friends have accepted your sobriety.

MITA. I’m in U.K. and it’s 07.40 ish am. I’m going for a routine hospital appointment late morning and I’m sure Mr. Mags will take me out for lunch as a treat afterwards (hopefully!)

Hope it’s a good sober day for all of us. xx

Rose335

Hi all - toots I live in London and have done for many years (although I was brought up in Yorkshire). I've never been to Dundee but it always sounds very nice to me, partly because one of the highlights of my Christmas childhood was a slice of Dundee cake which - in Yorkshire - we always had with cheese. Sounds like you and Mags might have had a good Monday courtesy of your other halves! Hope that was the case.

Mags1

Rose, I was born in South Yorkshire where I lived until I was 6. Then my parents moved to north east Lincolnshire or South Humberside as it was called then. I love fruit cake with cheese!

Tuesday was good, blood tests done then on the way home plans to stop for lunch. Except we couldn’t decide where so we drove home and hubby cooked the dinner.

tootsl1

Rose, Dundee has its good side and it's shadier side - most drugs deaths per capita in Europe- but it's where hubby is from and our kids and gson are here, so this is home. I used to live just north of London in Herts.

Be Strong, Undies!

ManInTheArena

Hello Unders!! I hope everyone had a nice week - I am looking forward to the weekend! While I'm certainly more productive and happier being sober during the workweek, sober weekends are the great reward

Mags1

Hi unders, hi MITA

It’s really nice being sober through the weekend (and the week too) I never tire of it.

tootsl1

I get so much more from my level of enjoyment of my time now. And so much more freedom of time now it's not dedicated to drinking or thinking of drinking!

Rose335

Hi lovely Unders - definitely in agreement on sober weekends, Such a gift and a free one to boot. Good for me to remind myself about that, especially since this last week in particular I've had a couple of AV moments having more or less escaped them thus far. I just have to see them as the inevitable reality that they are and firmly ignore them (which I'm managing to do with the help of SR).

Toots - those drug related stats about current day Dundee are so sad but I now realise of course that memories of 60 odd years ago can't begin to match reality now. London also has its shady side of course and I have to put to one side any worries I have about my small granddaughter growing up here and recognise that where we are is no worse than anywhere else and better than many.

Mags - I am very familiar with South Yorkshire, having lived there for many years before I moved to London. In fact we're planning a short trip to (west) Yorkshire in October if the weather stays semi reasonable. So many good walks there.

No rain:p; no hangover; no ironing to do. Good as it gets for me this weekend and I hope it's the same for all of you.

ManInTheArena

We've got a real nice UK contingent in this thread. It's been decades since I traveled over there. My son was in Edinburgh a few weeks ago for about a week - he had a great time.

Enjoying my clear headed Saturday morning - it never gets old

tootsl1

Edinburgh has to be my favourite city MITA, I'm glad he enjoyed himself. Rose, Dundee has changed in the 20 odd years since I've been coming here ( before we moved) and is really beginning to get a vibrancy about it it is really lifting up. We were at Verdant Works recently on a cold soggy day with nothing better to do, and read about the women Jute weavers ( they employed boys up to the age of 18 - children from the age of 10!-) the women were the ones out earning the wages and the men were 'kettle husbands' they stayed at home and raised the kids. Apparently the women were real hellraisers when they went into town and at one point more women than men were thrown in the pokey to sober up and front up the judge next morning! In the 1800's to mid 1900's that was unique for pretty much an entire town!

Rose335

Toots - I never knew that! Let's hear it for the jute weavers and the 'kettle husbands' (really liked that name) whilst recognising that the jute weavers could possibly have chosen a different way of showing their superiority to men than outmatching them on drinking! I'm now going to google Verdant Works.

MITA - Edinburgh is truly beautiful.

I've been reading some newcomer threads, including one on the AA and the 12 step programme. It definitely seems to be one that raises the emotions. I'm not contemplating AA because mercifully SR is providing the necessary support for me but I thought I'd ask in this slightly smaller forum what views, if any, you had on using AA or the 12 steps. Definitely don't want to open a can of worms and anyway you might not have/wish to share a view so answers not essential!

Dee74

It works for a lot of people Rose.
It's saved a lot of my friends lives but it's not something I used myself.

If you're intrigued I think the only thing to do is check it out.

D

Rose335

Thanks Dee. You're right. So far so good with SR for me but if that were to falter then I will explore all other options.

tootsl1

Some people benefit from the face to face interaction of AA and the idea of a sponsor to turn to in moments of temptation. I believe what some people dislike about AA is the religious aspect, but I gather there is agnostic alternatives.
I would say that the here is no single route to sobriety that works for everyone. We all need slightly different tools as we all have different personalities, different capabilities in the face of temptation, and different battles to confront in the first years of sobriety.
Some people can be quite blinkered and because they have a personal prejudice to a particular thing, will make very negative comments, when in fact it could be very helpful to another.

Mags1

That’s a good point toots. Being with SR has always been enough for me. I prefer it than face to face interaction. I can sometimes clam up when I’m sat in front of someone, as I have from past experience with my doctor !

Rose335

Thanks Mags and toots for taking time to share your views which I find close to my own. I'm still very taken with, deeply surprised in fact, at just how effective SR is proving to be (once you actually commit to it). I read various threads for ages but it was only when I actually put pen to paper so to speak that I realised what a powerful resource it was. I definitely credit it with making the difference for me and I really hope it stays that way.