kgirl41

Hi Bluesy, no need for apologies, that's what we are all here for to vent out our fears and anxieties. We need an outlet because alcohol used to be our outlet and we can't use that anymore

I also want you to know I am somewhat in the same boat. I have been at my current job for 11 years and in the insurance industry for 18 years. The company I work for is a large corporation....global insurance company. We have had so many re-orgs and changes over the last 5 years that what remains is a toxic environment and the inability to really get any work done. I recently got my certification in Scrum Mastery (a software development methodology) and I really want to begin using that certification. On Monday I received a call from an old co-worker that left my company for another and she is trying to recruit me. It's intriguing and exciting but an entirely different industry (railroads) and a very small company. To say I'm scared is an understatement! But at this point it's just a matter of updating my resume and applying for the job. If I get an interview, great! If I don't, well nothing lost there. I'll just take it one step at a time and follow my heart.

Good luck to you. Keep us posted

kgirl41

Please be careful, as you know, alcoholism is progressive! Be safe and we will look forward to your posts next week

kgirl41

You bet! You are doing great, Quit. Keep on keepin on!

kgirl41

Daisy - I knew you were a list girl just like me

snitch

Hey everyone from Phoenix, Arizona!!!!!

Wow its 5am here and I can feel the heat already phew!

I am so so grateful to be sober today! Its day 108 for me. Last weekend was hard. So hard but I look back now and 2 things stand out. 1. I was sitting in self pity. Oh poor me poor me. I can't drink wahahahaha. 2. I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed . Only over little things nothing major but my go to option to immeditaley ease these stresses was to take a drink. So I am now having to find new coping mechansisms and you know what, that is ok! It's more than ok! It's living life on life's terms and not fuzzing my feelings with a drug!!!

I had a really horrible drinking dream last night. As in, really horrible!!! And to wake up hangover free, guilt free and shame free is the most amazing thing ever for an alcoholic like me. Sobriety truly is a gift anf I will say my gratitude for being sober daily.

Thank you all for your support when I needed it!!

Daisy, congrats on 4 months. Well done you!!! How are things with hubby now? If you don't mind me asking?!

Donny wow. What a sad story about your friend. Maybe that might have happened to him anyway if he hadn't been drinking, who knows? But as you say; you fell yourself previous to that. I myself had a fall too. Would WE be so "lucky" next time? I don't wanna find out!! My condolences Donny boy.

Hi to everyone else.

I am gonna have some brekkie and go for an early morning swim as its gonna be unbearably hot later. Catch u all later!!

Xxxxx

Jewel72

So good to wake up to some updates!

Yes, Daisy, day 3 here. I’m going to stick close to SR, drink lots of water, and eat healthy. I managed a 3 mile run yesterday which I was very pleased about considering how yucky I felt. Thanks for your encouragement.

You too, KGirl! It means. A lot.

Hi Snitch! So glad you’re safe and sober. I was a little worried when you hadn’t posted for a bit of time.

Viper? We’re starting to worry about you. Let us know you’re out there.

Rowlands, Honesty is always the best! I hope you will get back on the sober path, with us, soon.

Hi Bluesy, Hope your feeling a bit more calm today. Just remember, sobriety is the most important thing for you right now. You are exactly where you need to be today. The rest will fall into place. Give it time, friend.

Hi Erratic, Donny, Strawberry, Dee, and The rest of the class.

Donnyb

Hi Peeps! Just checking in at lunch time. It’s 11:00 am and I am starving! I start work at 6 and ate a bowl of cereal at 5:30 so it’s time. It’s supposed to rain here and kind of hoping it does, just to have an excuse to take it easy. School starts back up in 3 weeks and I need to have 4 schools in our district ready so we have been pushing hard. I love waking up hangover free with my coffee when the sun is coming up and the smell of the fresh steaming mulch. I know weird but whatever! I am happy and sober. Only 18 days but I am finally seeing that light shine in and man it feels good!

Anna, I know it is hard to be on holiday like that and not drink. Just be careful and when you leave, that’s it. No more.

Suze, so happy to hear you are happy and feeling better like our old Snitch. Stay cool and enjoy your trip.

Vipe, all good buddy? Post when you get a chance.

Bluesy, when the right job comes along, you will know it. It’s so hard changing course when you’ve been on the same path for so long. Stay focused and you will end up where you are supposed to be.

Mum, Kgirl, Quit, Strawberry, and our entire class, sending peaceful vibes and lots of love.

Thank you everyone for the condolences of my friend. I haven’t seen him in awhile but was a good person and hopefully he found his way home. Again, just a very strong reminder that I can’t have 2 or 3. I may be able a few times but eventually I will fall again just like I did last time, and he did for the last time. No difference. He just landed different and I am here to tell about it. Next time it could be, man, I can’t believe Donny’s gone. He was a good guy. That’s a shame he never got to see his son graduate college, and his daughter having her successful career.. Yes I know I could fall and die tomorrow. But I will be damn if it is while I’m drunk. Enough is enough.

Strawberry18

Day 21 coming to an end !
29 days until my mother in law leaves
53 days until a day off!!!
And day 2 no smoking !!!
Looking forward to crawling into my air con bed when I finish !
Love to all around the world xx

Erratic

I hear u strawberry x good job on 21 x

I was down at daughters and grandson and did 7 days, came back sunday and me and husband drank. really dont know how to sort this, i never drank last night but husband did. tonight i drank but he didnt. all not so good as spoke to daughers fiance father and he drink also and was trying to sort out thinks. guess prob not, also woke up with my face showing yellow which ffs i thought i wouldnt go and fk drink but i have.

so still here and will try to get my **** together and love to u all xx

Daisybelle

23.00

Hi again Aprils
Just checking in quickly before I go to bed. I hope you've all had a good Wednesday.

Strawberry you work so hard, I don't know where you get your energy from, especially in that heat. Anyone would think you were on countdown to your mother in law going home, lol. I bet you love her really You'll be so ready for that day off. Good luck with the no smoking. x

Kelley, its so hard to know what to do for the best when changing jobs is concerned especially when you've been there for years, you get in a rut and it can be hard to take that big step and leave. Though you do sound as though you've given it a lot of thought and you have the right attitude, fingers crossed you get an interview and it goes well.

Hi Suze, I didn't realised you'd gone to Arizona, how exciting. It's so good to read your post tonight and know that you are in a much better place than you were last week, the good thing is that you know what caused your black cloud, you worked through it and you are still here on an amazing day 108 and best of all you are sober. You are such an inspiration.
Arghh those drinking dreams are dreadful, I think of them as my minds way of reminding me of how I don't want to be.
Thank you for your congrats, you're very nearly there yourself.
Things with my husband are good now, thanks for asking, we are good, we are okay and I don't ever want to put him or me through that again.
Enjoy your time in Phoenix and let us know what bargains you find. Take care. xx

Hi Quit, you're doing well, half way to a week, the days add up so quickly. I'm really pleased you put your trainers on and ran, I think you needed that, keep on with it. I will see you back here tomorrow on day 4. xxx

Hiya Donny boy, did you get that much needed rain. It actually did a spot of raining here today, not a great deal though, I never thought I'd be glad to see rain. The smell of fresh, steaming mulch, errmm how lovely ( not).
I have to say you are sounding really good, so much better in yourself and I can't believe how fast those 18 days have passed, only 3 more and it's 3 weeks! Wow! Sending you peaceful vibes and lots of love back. xx

Good to see you posting Erratic but sorry you drank. It can't help when the other half is drinking too. If your face is still looking yellow tomorrow maybe it would be a good idea to see your doctor. You need to take good care of yourself.

Off to bed now, sleep well my lovelies, see you here tomorrow.

Daisybelle

Viper, check in, we're worried about you, don't make me come over there.

Viperidae

Hello 🐍

Thanks Donny. I meant to post a couple of times but didn’t get around to it. I’m all good. I could feel a lot better, but I’ve got 22 days.

Yesterday I got the car fixed for $250 and they found my brake lines and fuel lines are corroded beyond belief. It’s only a matter of time. There’s no shortcuts with the stuff, it’s expensive as all heck. They need to take copper tubing and custom bend 4 brake lines that go to the rear, then the fronts, plus the fuel lines. I’m just going to keep driving it.

Then my sister and I discussed with my sister how my parents aren’t going to be able to manage on their own much longer and I need a plan and fast!!

Two things that normally would send me to the bar.

I had the ideal premium bike I could have low balled online, because it wasn’t selling, and I’ve been so exhausted I never did it. A beastly Specialized. But, today I fell in love at REI and I’m ruined. They have a store brand of bikes. Very nice. It’s a new combination of a racing style street bike with traditional downward handle bars, but made rugged with mild knobby tires. I went into this saying I’d never pay X in the bike store, I’d get it used, and I loved this thing, and will pay double what X was. Cannondale and Specialized have this style for way more money. You know when you try on the right running shoe after trying on 5 and you’re like OMG, these feel good. That happened. We shall see. Uuugghhh. I’d definitely have to sell a couple of toys to justify this!! 😬 But REI Brand bikes seem nicer, and this is way less than the major brands.

I’m kind of numb. My normal benzo that I take is far more powerful now without the booze. I was on 3 a day, then 2, now I think I should bring it down to 1, because it’s much stronger now.

However, food and sugar sensitivities are through the roof now too.

Life Coach tomorrow night for 2 hours. I can’t wait. I need it and I have the good news about not drinking and the benefits of it.

V

snitch

Hi all.

5.30 pm here and I am just chilling in my room. Gonna watch some netflix soon. I've had a lovely day. Went down to the pool early for some sun and swimming then had breakfast. Had a manicure and pedicure and went for the luxury pedicure for a little treat. Hot stones and hot wax and massage. Lush! Feet like a baby's bum now!! Standard trip to Target! Love it there. Went in for one thing and spent $100 ooops!! And then I discovered somewhere new... a place called My Sister's Closet! Omg!!!!! Its a shop that sells all consigment clothes shoes handbags and jewellery. So all pre owned stuff and the owners get a cut of whatever is sold. There were some fantastic things in there! I got 4 tops, a bracelet and 2 rings and I could have spent a ton more but I ran out of cash!! Maybe I'll go back tomorrow...... lol.

My crew were meeting at 5pm in the bar for "wine hour". I could go to be sociable and obviously not drink but to be honest I really don't want to. I am quite happy to chill out by myself. I am realising that it isn't because I am hiding away more that the ONLY reason I would go to meet up is so I could drink. Am not really that interested in socialising with everyone sober which tells me I have spent a lot of my time doing stuff I didn't really enjoy JUST because I could drink!

The last time I Was in Phoenix at this hotel was in March. My crew and I were required to operate an extra flight home so we flew out as passengers. I drank on the flight all the way there. Champagne, wine and port. Fell asleep on the plane and woke before landing feeling rotten and started swigging red wine from the little miniature bottles that I had been given to take off with me. By the time I got to the hotel I felt wrecked and passed out in bed. Woke about 2am and drank the remaining bottles I had with me! Had an insatiable hunger so ordered a big fried breakfast on room service and felt bloated and disgusting after. It was so hot and I felt sick, anxious, depressed (for over drinking yet again) tired and irritable. Went to the shops for buts I needed which felt like I Was climbing Everest, was such an effort and came back to my room and tossed and turned trying to sleep before getting ready for work. It was awful. I felt and looked like a bag of shite.
This time has been soooo different. I woke up hangover free and had my coffee on the balcony with a beautiful view of the sun rising over the lake. Had my swim and healthy breakfast. Pamper time and shopping. And I feel genuinley happy and am ENJOYING myself. Alcohol completely robbed me of that. I only THOUGHT I Was enjoying myself when I drank. If I were to go and meet up and drink now, well tomorrow doesn't bear thinking about. And that's if I even made it to tomorrow. I have no idea where a drink will take me.

So, I am very happy to be in my room, I have some little nibbles with me and lime perrier water (sooo good) back to back forensics show on the tv (I adore forensics programmes) and netflix on hand. Beats getting drunk and waking up suicidal anyday!!!

Donnyb

This made me so happy to read! You sound like you are in such a good place Suze, enjoy and easy on the spending 🙄💜

Donnyb

Hi everyone!

Vipe, glad to see all good👍🏼 I have seen people around on Rei bikes and they are definitely nice. I just took
Mine in for service, and it was $100! Oh well, it glides nice now and got all my disc brakes replaced and a new rear tire so I guess it was worth it.

Just rained a little he today Daisymum, and we worked right through it. My college helpers go back to school in another week and a half, and I am definitely going to miss those young strong backs! They are great kids and so lucky to have them for the summer working for me. I am going to do something nice their last day but not sure what yet. Oh btw, I am drinking my half lemonade half ice tea right now. It is actually called an Arnold Palmer and they sell it in the grocery stores already mixed. I don’t like it as much as my own. I use citrus green tea and mix it with Minute Maid light lemonade. Very refreshing. I know, weird Americans!

I am off to bed and going to read back a little but very tired and probably be sleeping in 5 min. Stay safe and sober April peeps and will check in tomorrow 💜💜

Jewel72

Great to hear from you, Viper!

Snitch, What a wonderful post. I am truly happy for you and where you’re at in sobriety. Something to look forward to, for sure!

Goodnight Donny. You’re doing great. Sleep well!

snitch

It's storming in Phoenix. Oh my! I love a storm but this is bad I am actually scared.... eek!!

snitch

Thank you Quit. You will get there. You just have to never give in to that AV. It's bloody hard but I think it is harder living on that awful hamster wheel of addiction. Hugs and kisses for you.... you ARE doing it!!

snitch

Awww thank you Donny 😘😘 oh and err re the spending...too late hahaha!!

Viperidae

Snitch, I’d so rather hang out by myself than with other people most of the time. I mean what better company could I ask for? Seriously, a hotel room all to myself? Aaahhhhhhh. Nothing better. The beach by myself? Ahhhhhh. The movies by myself? Hell yes! I like to be alone. I’m usually 2,000 miles away, deep in thought. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a charmer. I can make friends anywhere, instantly. I just prefer not to... most of the time. Every place I shop for bikes says, ‘yes and you get 15 months of free tune ups blah blah blah, annndd... we have groups that go out every weekend if you’d like to...’ Me: ‘✋ I prefer to bike alone. I don’t need those people showing me down.’ Total awkward pause by salesperson.

I’ll easily save enough to make an expensive purchase if I’m not blowing it on booze. My habit got pretty cheap compared to the old days. I have no idea how I came up with so much back then to pay for booze. However 2 heavy binges a week does add up. A few months and a bike is paid for.

Donny, those REI bikes are lovely. Especially once you get into their mid level stuff. It seems like once you get out of the low range, you get way more for the money. They really think the bike out. The Co-Op ADV 3.1 is awesome. Look it up. Additionally REI’s famous return policy applies to their bikes. If for any reason you are not satisfied with your purchase within one year, we will refund your money, exchange the item, or whatever you want. Many of my more pricey purchases are made at REI. It takes all of the nervousness out of big purchases. I almost never return unles the item is still new in the bag.

V🐍