SollytheGolly

I know that there’s a school of thought that says you shouldn’t count the days, but I find it a great motivator. Whenever I feel any sort of craving for a beer, glass of red wine, or a single malt whisky (my past favourite tipples), I open the App, and remind myself just how far I’ve come.

As time passes, I expect to open the App less and less. But until then......

Hope it helps Raj.

Willow00

Thanks everyone for your support ❤️
I’m feeling a lot more settled after Dad’s service. I cried my eyes out the night before, for Mum. And I think it released me to cry for Dad yesterday.
I’m still very sad about losing them, but the waves of grief are getting further apart and I know I’ll be ok. I just have to remain vigilant against the AV which has been knocking at the door a lot lately... stuck in an airport after cancelled flights and I’m drinking sparkling mineral water
Love to you all, you’ve been such a huge support for me to get through what has been the toughest thing in my 50 years on this earth. I’m so grateful to you alland so grateful for having had the love of my parents for 50 years. More than many others get to experience ❤️

Willow00

I count days too I’m on day 118

raj512

Solly - It really helps me to count days as every single day is a huge achievement. It suits me.

Willow - Things were tough for me in January but from what you are saying I think you are someone to be admired for staying drink free at this most difficult and horrible time. The strength you are showing, whether you feel strong or not, has helped me tell my AV “no”.
Thinking of you over the coming days.

On a different topic, I have this week just bought my first Apple product (iPad) and I love it. Should my wife get worried? 😂😂😂

tootsl1

Raj, I love the cats on your Avi, the black and white fluffy one reminds me of my old cat Spud. My best friend through so many times.

Willow, you are doing so well sweetie, I know your folks are watching you with pride.

Solly, there is no fixed right or wrong path to recovery, it is what works for each of us as individuals. I used to count days the first year, it helped me to stay focussed. I do like the sound of your app!

Willow00

Thanks Raj, sorry to hear about your Dad passing. It’s so hard losing your parents. I never expected to lose both of mine so closely together. I can so understand why you drank after losing your Dad. I had so many temptations. I also had a lot of feelings of despair and utter pointlessness of it all, which could so easily have led to me picking up a drink. I came very close quite a few times.

It would have been so easy to drown out my sorrows in the bottom of a bottle of red wine, but one bottle wouldn’t have been enough and it would certainly have led to more bottles, and more, and more, and so it goes on. It’s that realisation of the reality of my drinking that stopped me from having that first one. Because I’ve realised it’s never just one. But even with that realisation there were a few moments when I didn’t even care about the consequences. I thought so what, I’ll end up a homeless drunk, I don’t care, it’s better than this misery and hurt of losing my Mum. And my Dad. And that’s what stopped me. The memory of my mother’s eyes looking at me with love in her final hours, Just looking into my eyes with peace and love. That stopped me from drinking. My mother’s eyes. I am forever grateful to her for her love and support. I loved my Dad too, but it’s my Mum who was always there for me, no matter what. And she’s still always there for me, no matter what. So I will not drink. For Mum. To honour her. And for me, because I deserve a better life than can be found in a bottle

Willow00

Thanks for all your support Toots ❤️
I haven’t really talked to anyone about my recovery or my grief, but now that I’m home and back at work next week I think I’ll look into some counseling to help me work through it
I do need to sort some ot it out in my head to help me move forward
Thank you ❤️

badgerden

So I will not drink. For Mum. To honour her. And for me, because I deserve a better life than can be found in a bottle

Truth!!

Much love your way Willow

Lori

Willow00

Love back to you Lori
And your signature says it all ❤️
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

tootsl1

Hey Willow, how are you doing sweetie?

And how about the rest of you?

Willow00

Hi Toots
I’m pretty up and down actually. I’ll think I’m doing reasonably ok then I get swamped by a wave of grief. I’ve never before experienced such intense grief. I have felt sad before, depressed, upset, etc but never this level of pain. I have been compartmentalising my feelings otherwise I wouldn’t be able to function. I’m back at work, although I’m not motivated at all. I don’t think I’ll renew my contract after the next two months are finished. I am a bit rudderless to be honest.
I am not going to drink but have no idea what I want anymore. I deferred study and tried to get into student counseling but they’re fully booked out for at least 2 weeks so I’m going to look at other options. I think I need to work through some things.... I just want to sleep actually.
I know it will take time to adjust, but I still can’t believe both my parents are gone, just like that. It’s just so overwhelming to think about.
But I’m ok and I think I just need to somehow keep on going and hope that time will reduce the pain. I can’t think about it too much. I think I actually need to go to bed, I’m so tired, it’s 8pm, so I’m off to bed.... night night ❤️

badgerden

Toots!

Doing alright over here, another weekend on my own, husband is out doing farm work, so I am looking around trying to find any events/festivals to go to or just may flip a coin and see where that takes me.!

badge-26

tootsl1

Enjoy Badge.

Willow it sounds like you are actually doing okay. What you are describing is the grieving process. It may be worth checking if there is an online support group you could join? you are in my thoughts sweetie.

Willow00

Thanks Toots, I’ll look into it. 4 months sober today

raj512

Hi Toots,
I’ve been away from the internet for a couple of days but doing good thanks. 1 month and 29 days so far

Willow, congrats on 4 months. Thinking about you.

Missed you guys these past few days

badgerden

raj! congrats on the days!!

badge 25

tootsl1

missed you too Raj, congrats on 2 months!

Willow00

Raj 2 months is great!

raj512

Thanks guys. Celebrating tonight with a fakeaway from the supermarket with my wife (curry for me, Chinese for her) in front of the TV with 3 crazy cats and a glass or 2 of fruit cordial

John65

Congratulations on your 2 months Raj, well done!

Have a good evening.