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One Year and Under Club Part 61

Old 12-14-2018, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by badgerden View Post
Hello Joy and welcome from Eastern Oregon. Congrats on your sons accomplishments! To me just being able to apply to Harvard is a big deal. Just imagine yourself in 3 months being able to be by his side and sober regardless of whether or not he is accepted! that would be a great goal for you I would think.

Whats done is done, I am glad you are okay, do you have plans, or ideas of how you want to change things around? As hard as it is try not to beat yourself up to much, I have spent way to much of my sober time with regrets and anxiety over things long past and forgotten by others. Easier said than done.

Lots of support here, stay close

Badge
Thanks for your response. What I will do differently is to NEVER entertain the idea that I 'can' moderate. This wasn't a spur of the moment slip. I premeditated this for weeks. I was 100% confident it would be different this time. I was dead wrong.
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Old 12-14-2018, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by tootsl1 View Post
Congratulations Willow! I agree with Badge, your folks are smiling down on you.

John, I'm sorry you had such a slip last year, and sorry AV is trying it's best to get you to drink again.

After the early months of recovery when we 'settle' into a more sober routine, it is easy to forget the problems we had with drink, especially when our AV is telling us we really can't be an alkie because we've gone 'x' number of months sober. Coming here is a constant reminder that actually we do have a problem.

Joy if quitting was easy, there would be no AA, no SR or any of the other way to help us quit. It took me a decade of knowing my drinking was a problem, of making bargains, of lying, hiding and cheating to reach my personal rock bottom. I've said before here I don't know what was different about the day that I finally did take my last drink, I only know that, fates willing, it will remain that way. I come here as a reminder of why I no longer drink, and of what I have gained in sobriety.

I feel it is important especially this time of year, to find your gratitudes in sobriety. To look at how sobriety will help you find a better way of living, to remember the worst of what drinking has done to you in the past.

One important thing to get past in the first year is changing your way of thinking. You are not 'giving up' drinking, it is no loss, it is a poison that controlled you and would continue to destroy any semblance of a decent life you had. My drinking increased in the last 18 months of my active drinking days, to the extent I truly was not in control even though on the face of it, I seemed to be. I know that if I had continued, I would not be living the life I live now.
In sobriety, you gain so much. Clear thinking helps you to make better decisions. You can chose to do things that aren't based on where you can get a drink. You have more money and more time, you can begin to be the person you were meant to be before drink complicated everything.
Sobriety doesn't make life better. But it does give you the chance to do that for yourself. All alcohol does is steal your life. It has stolen enough from every one of us, don't allow it to steal a single moment more.
Thank you so much, what a beautiful response. I really appreciate this advice and this is why I love SR.
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Old 12-14-2018, 06:48 PM
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It's been awhile since I popped in to the Undies. Just wanted to say Hi and it's great to see everyone here.
Toots, I can't begin to tell you how much you helped me and it's very heartwarming to see you continue on, helping so many others with your wise posts. You have a true gift and are a very compassionate person. Take care everyone.......
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Caramel View Post
^ Excellent post, tootsl1
I agree! Thanks Toots for an awesome post!
And this really is fabulous... “Sobriety doesn't make life better. But it does give you the chance to do that for yourself.”

I went and got my hair done as a treat then I went out for Friday lunch with some normie friends (I don’t have many, most are alcoholics whom I’ve been avoiding lately...). Anyway, they were hopping right into the champagne and kept offering me some and I kept declining. So I got through that unscathed.

But on my way home the warped part of my brain (the AV) was very smug and very insistent “See, you’re doing soooo well! You’ve totally got this drinking business under control now, let’s stop at the bottle shop on the way home and pick up some wine for tonight “ WT??? Despite the urgency and intensity of my cravings at that point I didn’t stop to pick up wine. Later on we went over to a friend’s place on the spur of the moment to say merry Christmas last night. The others proceeded to zip through about 10 or 12 (or more) beers each (the blokes, including my partner) and more than a bottle of wine each (the girls). Luckily I had a bottle of grape juice in the fridge (my emergency stash) that I took with me.

And tonight is the work Christmas party at a fully licensed restaurant (all food and alcohol included) so I’m going to eat. Probably quite a lot. And probably have seconds for dessert
But I’m pledging right now, NO alcohol....
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Old 12-15-2018, 01:08 AM
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Well done Willow, What a win! And a prime example of how sneaky that AV gets! You manage the hard part, so it tries to sneak under the wire! Enjoy your works party tonight. I no longer work, but the first three years I had to get through them, and man could some of my colleagues get into mess ( as has I previous years!) it was really not hard to stay sober, but I also wanted to leave early and leave them to it.
Pat yourself on the back Willow!

Good to see you Bandi! Coming up 3 years? Congrats!

Thank you guys for your kind words, it means such a lot to me. This thread was one heck of an important one to me in my first year, it truly kept me going when I wanted to give in to that voice. Now I'm on the other side of that first year and I have first hand experience of how much better and easier sober living gets. Which is why I do so darned much here to help you guys get through the hardest time you will ever have to deal with in the battle for sobriety.

I want you guys to win this!
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Old 12-15-2018, 06:31 PM
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Oh Dizzybee I’ve been there too, the constant drowning in wine and feeling sick. So good you’re here, together we’re stronger and we can do this

So sorry to hear about your uncle Red

Jo I hear you re the drunk girl at the Christmas party. We had my partner’s work Christmas party dinner last night at a restaurant. I really hope this doesn’t sound judgmental as it’s not intended to be. It reminds me of my previous life of drinking to excess that I’m trying to escape. One girl was halfway wasted when she arrived an hour late. She sat opposite me. She drank 8 spirits and 6 beers in 2 hours and hardly ate. She was loud and disruptive, and kept throwing Christmas decorations at people and laughing uproariously and swearing. I felt a bit annoyed but I also felt very sad for her. I really hope she finds sobriety one day. She stumbled out glassy eyed at the end, yelling that she was going to the pub. So many times I have been there myself, stumbling, slurring and glassy eyed at the end of the night, but not ready, or unable to stop drinking. But for the grace of God, that could have been me. It was a very timely reminder to me of why I chose to stop drinking and it put my recent AV attacks in perspective so that I wasn’t tempted to drink at all.
24 more hours sober please.
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Old 12-15-2018, 06:57 PM
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Oops I just realised I posted this here instead of the 24 hour thread!!
I couldn’t find my post and then realised it was here,
sorry!
but I was going to tell you about the Christmas party anyway, just not the responses to the other guys on the 24 hour thread...

and thanks Toots for all your support
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Old 12-17-2018, 02:05 PM
  # 488 (permalink)  
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Hi undies
I’ll be travelling to visit my partner’s family for the next couple of weeks. I’m at the airport now, drinking coffee at the bar .... I’ll check in and say hi when I can, not sure of phone signal and internet connections where we’re headed. Stay strong over the Christmas season everyone x
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Old 12-17-2018, 02:16 PM
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Have a great trip, Willow!
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Old 12-17-2018, 03:49 PM
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Bon Voyage Willow

D
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Old 12-18-2018, 01:31 AM
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new thread here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-62-a.html (One Year and Under Club Part 62)
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