One Year and Under Club Part 61
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 24
Just come home from an appointment with my key worker for my recovery. She said she is very proud of me and I can be discharged soon.
I took her a bunch of flowers to thank her for her support.
Feeling good about myself today
I took her a bunch of flowers to thank her for her support.
Feeling good about myself today
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
That’s awesome Raj 
I’m trying to keep busy because when I’m idle my grief seems worse and the tears flow more. I’m trying to find new things to do and alternate things to put in place when I used to spend time with Mum or when I’d regularly ring her. I really miss Dad too but it’s not quite as intensely as I didn’t see him quite as often.
Weekends and evenings are the hardest.
I know it’s different, but grieving for my lost parents is a tiny bit like withdrawal from alcohol, although this is way worse than I’ve ever felt before. But I had to find new ways to occupy myself so I didn’t drink when I first stopped drinking . Now I need new ways to occupy myself to lessen the pain of missing my parents being an integral part of my life. I’ve found myself thinking about drinking again recently, to fill the hole in my heart, but I know that’s a bad idea. I just have to stay strong against the devious, conniving AV which tries to sneak in when I’m feeling vulnerable. But I’m refusing to listen to it. I’m honouring my Mum and Dad by NOT drinking and by living the best life I can live.
Love to you all ❤️
I’m trying to keep busy because when I’m idle my grief seems worse and the tears flow more. I’m trying to find new things to do and alternate things to put in place when I used to spend time with Mum or when I’d regularly ring her. I really miss Dad too but it’s not quite as intensely as I didn’t see him quite as often.
Weekends and evenings are the hardest.
I know it’s different, but grieving for my lost parents is a tiny bit like withdrawal from alcohol, although this is way worse than I’ve ever felt before. But I had to find new ways to occupy myself so I didn’t drink when I first stopped drinking . Now I need new ways to occupy myself to lessen the pain of missing my parents being an integral part of my life. I’ve found myself thinking about drinking again recently, to fill the hole in my heart, but I know that’s a bad idea. I just have to stay strong against the devious, conniving AV which tries to sneak in when I’m feeling vulnerable. But I’m refusing to listen to it. I’m honouring my Mum and Dad by NOT drinking and by living the best life I can live.
Love to you all ❤️
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Willow, I've heard it said that if you don't find something positive to replace drinking, you leave a bottle shaped hole in your life just waiting to be filled, and although you can never replace your parents, it is a really good idea to find positive things to do at the times that you would have spent with them. Otherwise, as you have hinted at AV will come calling. Perhaps find a hobby, a night class or volunteer work would take you out of yourself? Do you have elderly neighbours that you could maybe connect with?
Raj that is great news and I'm sure your key worker was stoked with the flowers!
Raj that is great news and I'm sure your key worker was stoked with the flowers!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Willow68 
I’m honouring my Mum and Dad by NOT drinking and by living the best life I can live.
Love to you all ❤️
Love to you all ❤️
Keep going, you are doing great
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks Toots, Purps, Raj ❤️
I am looking into finding new interests. I was studying which used up most of my spare time but I deferred. I need to decide whether I’m going to continue or change tack a bit, but I’ve decided not to make any major life decisions until I’m feeling more settled. I also organised a counselling session for a few weeks time (the soonest available appointment). I had a phone session but I didn’t really like it, I prefer being able to see who I’m sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with..
I go to yoga classes a couple of nights a week but lately I’ve been busy with family stuff and my motivation has been pretty low, but I need to get back into it I think..
Toots I like your idea of connecting with an elderly neighbour too. I’m sure there are plenty around here who would enjoy some company.
I’m also reconnecting with some old friends, ringing them for a chat when I used to ring Mum.
I guess I need to get plans for when the AV is loudest too, it was in my ear strongly yesterday afternoon when a work colleague mentioned the “medicinal benefits” of scotch whiskey. I don’t even like whiskey! But the AV got excited! Ugggh. Stupid AV is a liar and a thief and needs to be locked up!
I am looking into finding new interests. I was studying which used up most of my spare time but I deferred. I need to decide whether I’m going to continue or change tack a bit, but I’ve decided not to make any major life decisions until I’m feeling more settled. I also organised a counselling session for a few weeks time (the soonest available appointment). I had a phone session but I didn’t really like it, I prefer being able to see who I’m sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings with..
I go to yoga classes a couple of nights a week but lately I’ve been busy with family stuff and my motivation has been pretty low, but I need to get back into it I think..
Toots I like your idea of connecting with an elderly neighbour too. I’m sure there are plenty around here who would enjoy some company.
I’m also reconnecting with some old friends, ringing them for a chat when I used to ring Mum.
I guess I need to get plans for when the AV is loudest too, it was in my ear strongly yesterday afternoon when a work colleague mentioned the “medicinal benefits” of scotch whiskey. I don’t even like whiskey! But the AV got excited! Ugggh. Stupid AV is a liar and a thief and needs to be locked up!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,098
Hello all, hope everyone is doing well and not over doing the pumpkin latte's!
Husband and I are going to the coast this weekend, do some salmon fishing. Really looking forward to the time together. We will be staying with our friends that I have spoken about before, the house of way to much alcohol, and for the first time I am not the least bit anxious about it. The house has lost its power of me finally.
Last week for some reason my AV was trying to tell me how much fun it would be to be drunk, that it would all be fine, just one day. So that night what did I dream about?? I was drunk, it was one of those scary real dreams so that when I woke up I had to check and reaffirm to myself that I wasn't truly drunk. Weird, so I mentally told my AV "there I got drunk, go away"
Purps, Willow Raj, Captain and all the other undies thinking of you and beyond proud to be in this group!
Badge-14
Husband and I are going to the coast this weekend, do some salmon fishing. Really looking forward to the time together. We will be staying with our friends that I have spoken about before, the house of way to much alcohol, and for the first time I am not the least bit anxious about it. The house has lost its power of me finally.
Last week for some reason my AV was trying to tell me how much fun it would be to be drunk, that it would all be fine, just one day. So that night what did I dream about?? I was drunk, it was one of those scary real dreams so that when I woke up I had to check and reaffirm to myself that I wasn't truly drunk. Weird, so I mentally told my AV "there I got drunk, go away"
Purps, Willow Raj, Captain and all the other undies thinking of you and beyond proud to be in this group!
Badge-14
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Enjoy the fishing Badge! I live on the River Tay in Scotland, one of the best salmon rivers and beautiful. We live near the estuary, the fishing is better further inland, here you can catch sea fish as well as the water is tidal.
I'm glad you are not feeling tempted and well done on shouting down your AV. I have done weird drinking dreams and get so annoyed that I still have them, but I guess 5years sober is up against 30years drinking, so my subconscious still has a lot of bad habits!
I hope you all are doing okay, and I agree with Badge, proud to know you all.
I'm glad you are not feeling tempted and well done on shouting down your AV. I have done weird drinking dreams and get so annoyed that I still have them, but I guess 5years sober is up against 30years drinking, so my subconscious still has a lot of bad habits!
I hope you all are doing okay, and I agree with Badge, proud to know you all.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Hello everyone. I don't think I've posted in this thread for awhile, but I just wanted to say good morning. I'm on day 33 and am in the August class, but would like to check out some of these other threads more too. I hope you all have a great day! 
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone 
I’ve had some ups and downs, still lots of tears and sadness and moments of disbelief, anger, back to sadness and round in circles but I guess that’s all part of the grieving process... but I’m going ok and still sober (and plan to stay sober)
But I wanted to share this from today
So, the AV tried a new trick today but it was quite laughable really. It sounds like a long description but it all went flitting through my mind in an instant and was rejected completely with a laugh and a shake of my head incredulously! It’s almost comical. I’d just come out of a morning yoga class, it was 9am and I was walking down the road to get a coffee, feeling amazing and healthy and fit , when a bloke wandered aimlessly out of a dodgy pub on the corner, obviously at least half cut already at 9am, judging by the stagger he had up (no judgment here, this has been me before) and the AV was almost dancing with glee, going to me, “yeah, how cool, nothing wrong with him, not a bad life really, he obviously doesn’t have to go to work, he can just relax all day and get on it! The pub’s open, how about a glass of wine instead of a coffee, what a great idea! That dude is obviously having a fun time...” WT???
I laughed out loud (at the AV not at the guy, and out of earshot of the drunk guy) and I went on my way and got a coffee.
.. I’m still shaking my head
But I can’t get complacent. The AV could trip me up at anytime without warning, and without vigilance that poor guy coming out of the pub could easily be me
I’ve had some ups and downs, still lots of tears and sadness and moments of disbelief, anger, back to sadness and round in circles but I guess that’s all part of the grieving process... but I’m going ok and still sober (and plan to stay sober)
But I wanted to share this from today
So, the AV tried a new trick today but it was quite laughable really. It sounds like a long description but it all went flitting through my mind in an instant and was rejected completely with a laugh and a shake of my head incredulously! It’s almost comical. I’d just come out of a morning yoga class, it was 9am and I was walking down the road to get a coffee, feeling amazing and healthy and fit , when a bloke wandered aimlessly out of a dodgy pub on the corner, obviously at least half cut already at 9am, judging by the stagger he had up (no judgment here, this has been me before) and the AV was almost dancing with glee, going to me, “yeah, how cool, nothing wrong with him, not a bad life really, he obviously doesn’t have to go to work, he can just relax all day and get on it! The pub’s open, how about a glass of wine instead of a coffee, what a great idea! That dude is obviously having a fun time...” WT???
I laughed out loud (at the AV not at the guy, and out of earshot of the drunk guy) and I went on my way and got a coffee.
.. I’m still shaking my head
But I can’t get complacent. The AV could trip me up at anytime without warning, and without vigilance that poor guy coming out of the pub could easily be me
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Isn't it funny what AV thinks will trick you if it catches you unawares! Great going Willow. And dare I say, you are sounding like life is beginning to feel a little more normal, no longer completely submerged in your grief? You are so much stronger than you ever knew Willow, and I think that lady is really beginning to show her stripes!
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Toots
Yes the AV is cunning but sometimes it’s not very clever
I’m still having massive waves of grief knock me over, but I’ve just started seeing a grief counsellor and we’re going to work through it over the coming weeks which will be good for me
Doing a yoga workshop really helped release some of my pent up emotions too, and I feel physically a lot better too
Yes the AV is cunning but sometimes it’s not very clever
I’m still having massive waves of grief knock me over, but I’ve just started seeing a grief counsellor and we’re going to work through it over the coming weeks which will be good for me
Doing a yoga workshop really helped release some of my pent up emotions too, and I feel physically a lot better too
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,098
hello all, made home safe and sober. It was a fun weekend, we caught 3 fish, (1 keeper). Weather was wonderful for the Oregon coast. After we finished dinner, I saw the bottle and cork remover come out and I freaked a little, made a big deal of getting ice for my water and ran to the living room, still expecting a glass to show up in front of me, but it did not occur. Husband I am sure has had a conversation about us not drinking anymore. Believe it or not I was a little hurt that they didn't offer, at least my AV was.
So much of me wants to come clean with my husband about how much, how often I drank. Kind of purge my conscious I guess. I came really close but just could not take that leap and say the words. He knows I had/have a problem, I just cant bear the disappointment in his face and voice. Perhaps someday the time will present itself.
take care all!
badge- 9
So much of me wants to come clean with my husband about how much, how often I drank. Kind of purge my conscious I guess. I came really close but just could not take that leap and say the words. He knows I had/have a problem, I just cant bear the disappointment in his face and voice. Perhaps someday the time will present itself.
take care all!
badge- 9
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