Class of March 2016 part 66
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by venuscat 
And I think I want to get married again....we are going to actually. I only had one SR friend there.....mind you, that sounds awful.....I am so so so glad she was there....I want more of you to be there but even if not I want to do it again wearing what I want in front of who I want...you know? And not nervous and crazy from bridal stress....Nick suggested we do it again Sept 24 this year, but it's a Monday.....sigh.....I don't know.
I always wanted a “do-over” on my wedding. I was so young and got totally dominated by my mother in law. That wasn’t my wedding dream....it was hers!
Anyway, enuff about me. Live your dream!
BTW ~ I would have loved to have been there for your wedding Suze. I was a mess. I’m sorry.
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Originally Posted by KiKi0615
I really relate to this Lillian! If you met me you would think I was a huge extrovert! I’m very social. But that’s where the “cameleon/actress” part comes in. I was taught at a very young age to “act a certain way”. I was taught that it wasn’t ok to be myself. People are shocked when I say I’m an introvert! Like Apple, I’m an extroverted introvert! I love my alone time but not too much of it. I hate crowds & huge parties etc. I would rather have a small intimate gathering. I definitely have social anxiety with people I don’t know well but you’d never know it by looking at me. I’m weird I guess. Lol.
. No, not weird. Wonderful.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,687
Um, so yeah, two years. Progress? None. If anything I’ve gone deeper into this addiction. I remember March, 2013. I resolved then to deal with the issue based on a strictly financial perspective. Fail. I didn’t reregister on SR until three years later.
I remember July, 2006, vaguely. That was the first time I happened upon SR and registered and posted. That was when I truly realized I had a problem. Fail. Almost 12 years; I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I never doubted the progressive nature but to consider myself now…
I remain in the yet category. When will it happen? Whatever it may be. What will I lose? What will it take to wake up this dumbass? These are questions I’ve wrestled with the last two years while seeing remarkable achievements by all of you. I’ve not met nor even really tried to achieve my own. My longest stretch of sobriety is so pathetic that I almost can’t bring myself to say that it’s been two days or less. In two years! The previous 10 are no less uninspiring.
I hope this post does not read as a pity party but just as reality. The support is wonderful but I’m just not utilizing it and clearly remain in the rather drink than be sober category. I have to be honest. The lack of posting is due to the lack of action on my part. It’s difficult to come back time after time after time after time. It’s not because of the shame, though there is that; it’s because I see you all doing great things and getting back after it on the rare occasions there is a slip. So far I am not like that. I want to be like that and it’s why I stick around. It’s hope which for me can be a precious commodity. Somehow, someway it will imprint and I’ll realize that not only is sobriety worth it, but that I can do it too. Preferably it’s not too late when I do. So far it eludes since clearly I don’t want it bad enough.
Moving on, congrats to all on milestones and defeating the hag/beast. It can be a bitch from what I understand. Love and good wishes to all.
I remember July, 2006, vaguely. That was the first time I happened upon SR and registered and posted. That was when I truly realized I had a problem. Fail. Almost 12 years; I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I never doubted the progressive nature but to consider myself now…
I remain in the yet category. When will it happen? Whatever it may be. What will I lose? What will it take to wake up this dumbass? These are questions I’ve wrestled with the last two years while seeing remarkable achievements by all of you. I’ve not met nor even really tried to achieve my own. My longest stretch of sobriety is so pathetic that I almost can’t bring myself to say that it’s been two days or less. In two years! The previous 10 are no less uninspiring.
I hope this post does not read as a pity party but just as reality. The support is wonderful but I’m just not utilizing it and clearly remain in the rather drink than be sober category. I have to be honest. The lack of posting is due to the lack of action on my part. It’s difficult to come back time after time after time after time. It’s not because of the shame, though there is that; it’s because I see you all doing great things and getting back after it on the rare occasions there is a slip. So far I am not like that. I want to be like that and it’s why I stick around. It’s hope which for me can be a precious commodity. Somehow, someway it will imprint and I’ll realize that not only is sobriety worth it, but that I can do it too. Preferably it’s not too late when I do. So far it eludes since clearly I don’t want it bad enough.
Moving on, congrats to all on milestones and defeating the hag/beast. It can be a bitch from what I understand. Love and good wishes to all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,681
13TH- this place is not care bears with warm fuzzy hugs. It is a place where people come together to get support..day to day. The fact you are posting, alive and are gaining a stronger awareness is very important..to all of us. You are not alone on this journey..we may not be able to walk your path- but we can help you carry the load. Never forget that. You are wanted and respected. Remember addiction is not something that gets bad people wanting to be good..it is very sick people wanting to get well.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,460
I concur with what PJ and Kiki said.
Honestly 13th I tried to quit for 15 years, but nothing was as strong as my apathy except maybe my fear of change.
My life sucked but I knew the parameters...and even tho it got a little worse each year I didn't notice mostly.
It took a sudden and frightening health shock to get me to stop drinking and for me to discover the real me again.The trouble with waiting for a wake up call like that is that not everyone gets it and not everyone survives it..
I really hope you can find a way through whatever apathy and fear is holding you back and make this year the year of the the big change - and I hope you stick around here to let us help you make that happen
D
Honestly 13th I tried to quit for 15 years, but nothing was as strong as my apathy except maybe my fear of change.
My life sucked but I knew the parameters...and even tho it got a little worse each year I didn't notice mostly.
It took a sudden and frightening health shock to get me to stop drinking and for me to discover the real me again.The trouble with waiting for a wake up call like that is that not everyone gets it and not everyone survives it..
I really hope you can find a way through whatever apathy and fear is holding you back and make this year the year of the the big change - and I hope you stick around here to let us help you make that happen
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,197
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
13TH- this place is not care bears with warm fuzzy hugs. It is a place where people come together to get support..day to day. The fact you are posting, alive and are gaining a stronger awareness is very important..to all of us. You are not alone on this journey..we may not be able to walk your path- but we can help you carry the load. Never forget that. You are wanted and respected. Remember addiction is not something that gets bad people wanting to be good..it is very sick people wanting to get well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,197
Morning Marchers.
Day four here. On my way to work. Feels good to wake up without that thick hangover cloud over my head - trying so hard to appear “normal” to everyone around me.
Thirteenth - always happy to see you post. Man, it has been quite a ride since March 2016. But, we are still here and trying. Fall down nine times, get up ten - right? Stick around.
Well best be off. Happy hump day.
Day four here. On my way to work. Feels good to wake up without that thick hangover cloud over my head - trying so hard to appear “normal” to everyone around me.
Thirteenth - always happy to see you post. Man, it has been quite a ride since March 2016. But, we are still here and trying. Fall down nine times, get up ten - right? Stick around.
Well best be off. Happy hump day.
Sober date: 20th May 2023
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,384
Keep trying 13th. Like Dory says "Just keep swimming..."
I would have loved to be at your wedding V. xxx
I've just finished the second series of The Good Place...bummer. I loved looking forward to watching it on Netflix each day but sadly have run out of episodes.
I'm off to sleep...Love you guys xxx
I would have loved to be at your wedding V. xxx
I've just finished the second series of The Good Place...bummer. I loved looking forward to watching it on Netflix each day but sadly have run out of episodes.
I'm off to sleep...Love you guys xxx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,527
Originally Posted by LillianGish
Love this idea!
I always wanted a “do-over” on my wedding. I was so young and got totally dominated by my mother in law. That wasn’t my wedding dream....it was hers!
Anyway, enuff about me. Live your dream!
BTW ~ I would have loved to have been there for your wedding Suze. I was a mess. I’m sorry.
I always wanted a “do-over” on my wedding. I was so young and got totally dominated by my mother in law. That wasn’t my wedding dream....it was hers!
Anyway, enuff about me. Live your dream!
BTW ~ I would have loved to have been there for your wedding Suze. I was a mess. I’m sorry.
Need more coffee... ♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,527
Originally Posted by Thirteenth
Um, so yeah, two years. Progress? None. If anything I’ve gone deeper into this addiction. I remember March, 2013. I resolved then to deal with the issue based on a strictly financial perspective. Fail. I didn’t reregister on SR until three years later.
I remember July, 2006, vaguely. That was the first time I happened upon SR and registered and posted. That was when I truly realized I had a problem. Fail. Almost 12 years; I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I never doubted the progressive nature but to consider myself now…
I remain in the yet category. When will it happen? Whatever it may be. What will I lose? What will it take to wake up this dumbass? These are questions I’ve wrestled with the last two years while seeing remarkable achievements by all of you. I’ve not met nor even really tried to achieve my own. My longest stretch of sobriety is so pathetic that I almost can’t bring myself to say that it’s been two days or less. In two years! The previous 10 are no less uninspiring.
I hope this post does not read as a pity party but just as reality. The support is wonderful but I’m just not utilizing it and clearly remain in the rather drink than be sober category. I have to be honest. The lack of posting is due to the lack of action on my part. It’s difficult to come back time after time after time after time. It’s not because of the shame, though there is that; it’s because I see you all doing great things and getting back after it on the rare occasions there is a slip. So far I am not like that. I want to be like that and it’s why I stick around. It’s hope which for me can be a precious commodity. Somehow, someway it will imprint and I’ll realize that not only is sobriety worth it, but that I can do it too. Preferably it’s not too late when I do. So far it eludes since clearly I don’t want it bad enough.
Moving on, congrats to all on milestones and defeating the hag/beast. It can be a bitch from what I understand. Love and good wishes to all.
I remember July, 2006, vaguely. That was the first time I happened upon SR and registered and posted. That was when I truly realized I had a problem. Fail. Almost 12 years; I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I never doubted the progressive nature but to consider myself now…
I remain in the yet category. When will it happen? Whatever it may be. What will I lose? What will it take to wake up this dumbass? These are questions I’ve wrestled with the last two years while seeing remarkable achievements by all of you. I’ve not met nor even really tried to achieve my own. My longest stretch of sobriety is so pathetic that I almost can’t bring myself to say that it’s been two days or less. In two years! The previous 10 are no less uninspiring.
I hope this post does not read as a pity party but just as reality. The support is wonderful but I’m just not utilizing it and clearly remain in the rather drink than be sober category. I have to be honest. The lack of posting is due to the lack of action on my part. It’s difficult to come back time after time after time after time. It’s not because of the shame, though there is that; it’s because I see you all doing great things and getting back after it on the rare occasions there is a slip. So far I am not like that. I want to be like that and it’s why I stick around. It’s hope which for me can be a precious commodity. Somehow, someway it will imprint and I’ll realize that not only is sobriety worth it, but that I can do it too. Preferably it’s not too late when I do. So far it eludes since clearly I don’t want it bad enough.
Moving on, congrats to all on milestones and defeating the hag/beast. It can be a bitch from what I understand. Love and good wishes to all.
You don't need to be alone.....and being around us all of the time might just allow you to find that one thing that gets you past two days sober...that's the good part.....and not feeling that wonderful 'oh, I feel better' feeling kind of stops you from wanting to be sober.....just my thoughts.....
You still want this. You can still have it.
Sending huge hugs.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,527
Originally Posted by Mish
Keep trying 13th. Like Dory says "Just keep swimming..."
I would have loved to be at your wedding V. xxx
I've just finished the second series of The Good Place...bummer. I loved looking forward to watching it on Netflix each day but sadly have run out of episodes.
I'm off to sleep...Love you guys xxx
I would have loved to be at your wedding V. xxx
I've just finished the second series of The Good Place...bummer. I loved looking forward to watching it on Netflix each day but sadly have run out of episodes.
I'm off to sleep...Love you guys xxx
And THANK YOU...never heard of that show, watched the trailer and I am in love!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,191
Mornin' Marchers. Finished startin' fluid and had breakfast. This is going to be a terrible day though. My old friend PAWS is paying me a visit. Brain fog so bad I can barely function! Some days it's barely noticeable but today... Wow!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Good morning.
Hey 13th. This is where you need to be. NO MATTER WHAT. Just saying.
Family dinner night. Yay for me.
Suze, have your do-over. It's a great idea. We almost renewed out vowels on our 20th, but that was 2 years ago, and well, I'm not sure he was really into it at that time. I wasn't really sure we were going to stay married. A lot has changed for me in two years. Thank God.
Have the best day ever, March People!
Hey 13th. This is where you need to be. NO MATTER WHAT. Just saying.
Family dinner night. Yay for me.
Suze, have your do-over. It's a great idea. We almost renewed out vowels on our 20th, but that was 2 years ago, and well, I'm not sure he was really into it at that time. I wasn't really sure we were going to stay married. A lot has changed for me in two years. Thank God.
Have the best day ever, March People!
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