ReadyAtLast

Day 26 for me. I've had a horrible week which improved slightly towards the end. Anyway last night my husband got very drunk and we had a row-well not so much of a row as words. He sometimes just drinks a couple of beers but got some port as a gift and drank a lot of it. This is a very rare occurrence and the silly thing is I DO get it as have been there. Anyway everything was fine then he started saying horrible things I didn't let it get to me as I know it's just booze talking.

This morning he can't remember and was very apologetic when I told him. We decided to go into town and have a nice lunch. en route I started getting thoughts of drinking. Reminders of when we used to lunch out on Fridays (he's retired and I don't work Fridays) wine next to the open fire which would be perfect today as it's wild and raining here. he would drive home as not drinking today so I could drink wine. The thoughts just came on me-WHAM! First serious cravings and desperate longings in 26 days. Then the voice starts. You've been so good for 26 days, just have a few, even if you get drunk it doesn't matter, you can start again tomorrow, imagine the taste etc etc. and on and on it went.

We went swimming first but then got to the restaurant. I ordered lemonade and water and ate. I'm relieved I didn't drink but just serves as a reminder how these thoughts really do just appear out of the blue and with such urgency and ferocity. But there is an option to not drink. home now, rain lashing down on the windows, Mr RAL sleeping off last night.

Caprice6

Congrats on sticking it out Readyatlast,
It is a struggle (fighting off the urge and craving) and one that will hit me hard too, I know it, at some point. I'm anticipating it. When it does I will come on here or just read, it helps to have others doing it and knowing what it's like.

hpdw

Yes those thoughts can come right out of the blue . For the first time in 52 days I felt a twinge of poor me earlier today . It wasn't a craving just a sad feeling of how things can NEVER be the same and I accept that but felt a feeling of loss just the same . It passed as quickly as it went . Been very busy with some electronics today .setting up a hearing device for my TV ( I am 70 percent deaf ) . I couldn,t get my device to work so I have sent for some new adaptors and cables on from amazon next day delivery so should hopefully be set up tomorrow . The reason I want my TV hearing device working is that I have been building up lots of series to start watching since the nights are getting colder darker . I wear a hearing aid but hopeless for watching TV as I hear the busses and lorries roaring past outside lol .

Hope you all have a happy healthy weekend .
If your struggling come here and read or get busy .

Take care

Enemdio

Good quote, Leeloo - just wrote it in my journal and put a border round it.

Thanks, Dee - you have a good weekend, too

Linners820

Hi everyone, well I guess I'm on day 1 again. Feeling like total garbage from drinking way too much last night. In the past my attempts to not drink have only lasted 3 or 4 days. I'm going to be checking in here daily for the support, I'm going to need it.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks for your kind words Caprice and thomas. it helps so much knowing people understand. One thing I thought was that if i did drink I would not sleep properly again for weeks. I'm just so tired and enjoying 8 hours a night - def not wanting to throw that away Hope your new equipment arrives tomorrow Thomas and you get it set up. Definitely agree this weather is perfect for box sets!

Welcome Linners

Badger07

Good morning Peeps. Day 13 here.

Readyatlast - That must be hard to abstain when your spouse is drinking to excess. Is it possible that he could use SR's help too?

site1Q84

RAL - nice job toughing it out. They do come on strong and out of nowhere! I know it's hard in the moment, but maybe your husband and his words can be a nice reminder of why you quit?

Kate123

I am on Day 4. Feel very good. Having anxiety issues but that happens quite a bit, and I went running two out of the 4 days to try to deal with that. Insomnia though! I hate that. I am guessing it'll regulate though. I feel very good on the whole. Thanks everyone for being here!

hns0685

Day 21 check in. Mood wise I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday. Fridays are hard for me though as my kids have 3 different sports tonight and its usually pretty chaotic. I would have a glass of wine to calm my nerves (and then after it was all done drink until I was drunk). I'm learning that its ok (and quite normal) to not feel ok all of the time though. Feeling stressed is just a part of life sometimes and there are much better coping skills than drinking!

This weekend is also quite busy with kids sporting events. The good thing is that I'll be occupied and not sitting at home bored.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and sober weekend.

hpdw

Readyatlast , thank you . Started on Ray Donovan ,next is Game of thrones .
I think being sober is always a work in progress and coming here is a great help to me . I never get smug or too comfortable with my sobriety as today I had a strange feeling of sadness not at anything specific ,well come to think of it my birthday is on Tuesday and the family always have a small thing for all our birthdays . I,m going to suggest Chinese eat all you can buffet .

ReadyAtLast

Hi Badger, he's fine, usually just has a couple of beers a couple times a week. he did have far too much last night - I can probably count on 1 hand the number of times he's done that since we met. It doesn't bother me normally , it was just unfortunate that some unpleasant things were said

badgerden

happy friday all! Wow so many posts love it!

Congrats everyone on your success and determination.

Yesterday I got all the flower bulbs that I have into the ground. I still have one section that I need to do, but will wait till payday to get some more. Today is one of those rare days around here where it is windy with off and on rain, rather gray. So will stay indoors and get some house work done,,, or not, I don't know yet.

Take care all
Badge

ReadyAtLast

It's quiet round here tonight. It's 8.20pm in the UK - other people overseas are probably still at work.

I'm sitting here so utterly relieved I didn't drink today. I really wanted to drink but said I would not regret NOT drinking but I would regret drinking. True true true. Feel quite unnerved still. Crazy isn't it coming up for 30 days and feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me. It does help so much coming here Caprice and knowing everyone here understands.

Sorry I'm being very self indulgent today.

Great news about your plant bulbs Badge It will be lovely to see them grow. Don't overdo the housework - relax

I've not seen Game of Thrones Thomas. I'm watching Jordskott at the minute. It's one of those re-runs on ITV Encore. They show some pretty good stuff on there and I love all that Scandinavian Nordic Noir stuff.

congrats on 21 days HNS

Site- you speak very wisely. I was thinking just that last night about how glad I am that I won't be like that again. I wasn't mad at him because I totally understand, having been like that on numerous occasions. Just relieved it won't be me in the future.

Congrats on day 4 Kate - you will sleep eventually. I found before the week was out I did and it was deep, rejuvenating proper sleep, not just passed out from booze.

Hope everyone gets through Friday night and has a great weekend.x

Frank14

I'm entering weekend #3 without drinking, so I think I'm slowly learning how to live a sober life one step at a time. As far as physical improvements, I've had chronic hives since November of last year, and I've had to take allergy medication every 24 hours. Perhaps it's a coincidence, but it's been 3 days now with no signs of hives (I'm keeping my fingers crossed!). I'm thinking the drinking threw off my immune system and caused the hives, but the dermatologist simply said they have no idea what causes it.

Like everyone else, I'm planning my weekend activities to keep busy. I'm also doing some techniques where I visualize certain triggers (wife leaves for the afternoon, argument, stress), and how I'm going to cope with these situations without resorting to alcohol. Hopefully these techniques can help me rewire my brain and habits for the better.

Wick

Hi all, checking in day 7!
Been a really busy day traveling. My husband amd I are headed on a trip. This weekend isn't going to be easy so I will be checking in more frequently then usual look forward to reading everyone's posts. Have a great weekend!

badgerden

Afternoon all,, had a very unproductive day, did some laundry, ran a load through the dishwasher, sewed up some of the dog toys, and basically veged. Sat in the recliner with a dog on my lap not doing much else, except chug down lemon water, i just couldn't drink enough of that today for some reason.

I did get hit with a urge to get a bottle, but I was to lazy to act on it.

We do not have HBO so no GOT watching for me, although I would like the parts that involve the dragons.

My evening plans are pretty much as I spent my day, doing nothing. Even dinner is going to be easy,,, salad and more water,,,

will be checking in

take care all

Badge

Stronger2017

I had my first drinking dream last night. It felt very real. I didn't actually drink anything, but the beer was there waiting for me and nobody would be any the wiser if i just had a few😰. I was so relieved to wake up!

squiz

The one person I've never discussed any previous attempts at being sober with is my sister. We work together (running a pub!) and I know how my addiction and behaviour has upset, terrified, concerned and ****** her off.

Today I managed to make a few sentences to her. It's a friends party tomorrow and she said something like 'make sure you don't drink a bottle of wine' and gave me The Face. It gets to me somewhere raw when she looks at me with no faith whatsoever. I understand the history of me and booze gives her every right to be completely sceptical.

So I just said sort of, the past is now the past. it happened. I'm sorry for it. Try not to think about it or the future, just this minute right now. That's all there is and this minute, right now, I'm not drunk, I'm not drinking and I have no intention of doing so.

When she jibes at me it gets under my skin far more than anyone else on the planet. So hopefully she heard me 🤞I don't expect her active support, I've let her down too many times before but just a little peace while I'm getting my feet steady.

Anyway, sorry long post, it felt good to feel confident enough to say something direct and hopeful. Day 35, life is so different already ❤️

We're doing alright Septembers 👍

Dee74

I'm glad you at least broached the subject Squiz.
Have a good happy and sober trip Wick!

Drinking dreams are very common , especially in the beginning Stronger - how great you didn't cave, even in your dream?

glad you resisted badgerden

congrats to everyone on hitting a milestone today no matter what it is

and welcome back linners - regroup, replan and retry - you can do this

D