Class of September 2017 Support Thread Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 13
Two weeks here! I've started cooking and baking again, and sewing. None of those are strenuous physical activities, but they're things I enjoyed doing before I got sick, and both require enough concentration that they help distract me from the pain a bit. The sewing is especially good for that, since it's so repetitive.
I think the Gabapentin is helping with the pain, but it seems I need to take at least 500mg before it really does anything, and then as the half life does its bit, the pain comes back. I'm supposed to be hitting 600mg three times a day, if my current titration schedule works and doesn't give me any weird/problem symptoms, but I'm not there yet. I'm up to about 1100mg a day, so I have to decide if I want to do a couple of 400mg doses with a 300mg between, or a couple of 500mg and take the 100mg between, or what. I'll be adding another 100mg in the next day or so, which is good, but still leaves me with the titration balancing act to do. Really looking forward to getting up to that therapeutic dose that my doctor wants me on, as I think it will make it a lot easier to control the pain consistently instead of having to deal with peaks and dips throughout the day.
Really happy with how my recovery is going otherwise. I'm not craving opiates. I did think last night, when my pain level suddenly spiked up in one foot and ankle just as I tried to go to sleep, that it would be so easy to take some marijuana (it's legal here, and we do have a small amount in the house, and more than one of my doctors have recommended it for pain control - but I don't like using it because I can't function on it and it makes me feel disconnected from my body, and slow, and stupid) and just sleep through the pain. But I don't want to go down that road, either. I can see the marijuana becoming just as much of a crutch as the opiates, although I'm not sure how marijuana tolerance impacts the efficacy of using it for pain control long-term, as using different variations of it even just a couple times was enough to tell me that it wasn't an acceptable solution for me personally. So instead, I got up, put on a movie, and started embroidering. It worked. I can find ways to deal with this pain issue without needing something that's going to drastically alter my perceptions while it's active.
So now the house smells like freshly baked bread, I'm planning to make cookies tomorrow or early this coming week - something that I haven't done in months, and using a recipe that has sentimental value to me and that I haven't made in years and years - and I'm starting to peruse my other recipes and see what else appeals. It's been probably a year or more since I made a soufflé, but I'm also wanting to try some noodle dishes, maybe something with egg noodles or soba in black sauce, perhaps with some garlic...
I think the Gabapentin is helping with the pain, but it seems I need to take at least 500mg before it really does anything, and then as the half life does its bit, the pain comes back. I'm supposed to be hitting 600mg three times a day, if my current titration schedule works and doesn't give me any weird/problem symptoms, but I'm not there yet. I'm up to about 1100mg a day, so I have to decide if I want to do a couple of 400mg doses with a 300mg between, or a couple of 500mg and take the 100mg between, or what. I'll be adding another 100mg in the next day or so, which is good, but still leaves me with the titration balancing act to do. Really looking forward to getting up to that therapeutic dose that my doctor wants me on, as I think it will make it a lot easier to control the pain consistently instead of having to deal with peaks and dips throughout the day.
Really happy with how my recovery is going otherwise. I'm not craving opiates. I did think last night, when my pain level suddenly spiked up in one foot and ankle just as I tried to go to sleep, that it would be so easy to take some marijuana (it's legal here, and we do have a small amount in the house, and more than one of my doctors have recommended it for pain control - but I don't like using it because I can't function on it and it makes me feel disconnected from my body, and slow, and stupid) and just sleep through the pain. But I don't want to go down that road, either. I can see the marijuana becoming just as much of a crutch as the opiates, although I'm not sure how marijuana tolerance impacts the efficacy of using it for pain control long-term, as using different variations of it even just a couple times was enough to tell me that it wasn't an acceptable solution for me personally. So instead, I got up, put on a movie, and started embroidering. It worked. I can find ways to deal with this pain issue without needing something that's going to drastically alter my perceptions while it's active.
So now the house smells like freshly baked bread, I'm planning to make cookies tomorrow or early this coming week - something that I haven't done in months, and using a recipe that has sentimental value to me and that I haven't made in years and years - and I'm starting to peruse my other recipes and see what else appeals. It's been probably a year or more since I made a soufflé, but I'm also wanting to try some noodle dishes, maybe something with egg noodles or soba in black sauce, perhaps with some garlic...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2
Hello everybody,
I also join you. This is my first week. Difficult psychologically and physically. But than you for sharing your experience. It is good to know that you are not alone try to fight with it. And.. even there are some who sucseed it...
I also join you. This is my first week. Difficult psychologically and physically. But than you for sharing your experience. It is good to know that you are not alone try to fight with it. And.. even there are some who sucseed it...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: US
Posts: 52
Day 16 just about wrapped as I'm calling it a night.
Been a mixed two days. Fortunate to have good friends to talk to who have been supporting me and offering help. Still going through very heavy motions of regret with not having my job or my ex around.
Trying to get a new job going but my ex just hated me so much the last we talked. My mind is really having trouble accepting that's how she will last think of me. Keep trying to focus that I'm becoming something better, but not having closure has really been eating me up inside. I guess the good thing here is these thoughts completely halt any temptation with alcohol. I just gotta learn how to balance the regret as others on here have told me so it's not so torturing.
On a unexpected positive, I've noticed a huge difference in my skin. Certain parts of my face and arms would get really dry and red. That's been pretty much absent now.
Been a mixed two days. Fortunate to have good friends to talk to who have been supporting me and offering help. Still going through very heavy motions of regret with not having my job or my ex around.
Trying to get a new job going but my ex just hated me so much the last we talked. My mind is really having trouble accepting that's how she will last think of me. Keep trying to focus that I'm becoming something better, but not having closure has really been eating me up inside. I guess the good thing here is these thoughts completely halt any temptation with alcohol. I just gotta learn how to balance the regret as others on here have told me so it's not so torturing.
On a unexpected positive, I've noticed a huge difference in my skin. Certain parts of my face and arms would get really dry and red. That's been pretty much absent now.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 222
Welcome Faranti!I also just joined the September-Gang this week.
RapidTwitch, I can smell the freshly baked break from here
It's great you're picking up old hobbies again. I love to draw and crochet, but when I'm drinking I never get around to it, because all my spare time is taken up by partying or nursing my hangovers, i.e. lying on the sofa, unable to move, watching TV, feeling anxious and incredibly sorry for myself.
It's Sunday morning 9 am. I went out for dinner with the family last night, they had wine, I had water. Because I went to bed at a reasonable time and didn't drink, I was able to take care of my dog this morning at 8 am, who needed to go for an earlier and longer walk because he gave himself the hiccups chomping down his breakfast too quickly. *eye roll*
I also really discussed my problems with alcohol for the first time with my husband yesterday (in more detail than just "you party too hard"), whose being amazingly loving and supportive.
I'm awake, the sun is shining, the windows are open, I'm having a tea. Now, what does one do so early in the day on a Sunday?
RapidTwitch, I can smell the freshly baked break from here
It's great you're picking up old hobbies again. I love to draw and crochet, but when I'm drinking I never get around to it, because all my spare time is taken up by partying or nursing my hangovers, i.e. lying on the sofa, unable to move, watching TV, feeling anxious and incredibly sorry for myself.It's Sunday morning 9 am. I went out for dinner with the family last night, they had wine, I had water. Because I went to bed at a reasonable time and didn't drink, I was able to take care of my dog this morning at 8 am, who needed to go for an earlier and longer walk because he gave himself the hiccups chomping down his breakfast too quickly. *eye roll*
I also really discussed my problems with alcohol for the first time with my husband yesterday (in more detail than just "you party too hard"), whose being amazingly loving and supportive.
I'm awake, the sun is shining, the windows are open, I'm having a tea. Now, what does one do so early in the day on a Sunday?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Morning ,
Yesterday I cleared out the shed and reorganised what was left . I like that clean and tidy feeling . Indoors I had been searching for a week for a set of expensive hair clippers . Do any of you get stressed looking for an item you know must be in the house . Anyway I found them by pure accident in a place I had looked 3 times under a pile of jeans in big chest of drawers . the packaging they are in is a soft material so previously I assumed it was clothing .
My new cables/attachments arrived for my TV hearing set but I still can't get it to work so that disappointed me , it looks like I need a full new kit .
Throbbing tension headaches later yesterday evening spoiled my night somewhat but fine today after a decent sleep .
I am thinking I need to wander round different parts of the site as TBH I am finding the newcomers section is depressing me , I am a newcomer insofar as sobriety goes but I think for me just now too much time in there isn't doing me any favours . I get so sad seeing what this poison is doing , people out in out in .
I don't think I have what it takes to offer anything contructive so id rather now not say anything ,its too big .
Yesterday I cleared out the shed and reorganised what was left . I like that clean and tidy feeling . Indoors I had been searching for a week for a set of expensive hair clippers . Do any of you get stressed looking for an item you know must be in the house . Anyway I found them by pure accident in a place I had looked 3 times under a pile of jeans in big chest of drawers . the packaging they are in is a soft material so previously I assumed it was clothing .
My new cables/attachments arrived for my TV hearing set but I still can't get it to work so that disappointed me , it looks like I need a full new kit .
Throbbing tension headaches later yesterday evening spoiled my night somewhat but fine today after a decent sleep .
I am thinking I need to wander round different parts of the site as TBH I am finding the newcomers section is depressing me , I am a newcomer insofar as sobriety goes but I think for me just now too much time in there isn't doing me any favours . I get so sad seeing what this poison is doing , people out in out in .
I don't think I have what it takes to offer anything contructive so id rather now not say anything ,its too big .
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all,
Hope your headache has eased Thomas & sorry to hear that your equipment isn't working. Can you change it?
Welcome Faranti.
It's like a mid winter;s morning here, wet windy and wild
Some indoor cleaning and must do some exercise.
Happy sober Sunday
Hope your headache has eased Thomas & sorry to hear that your equipment isn't working. Can you change it?
Welcome Faranti.
It's like a mid winter;s morning here, wet windy and wild
Some indoor cleaning and must do some exercise.Happy sober Sunday
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by RapidTwitch 
T
Really happy with how my recovery is going otherwise. I'm not craving opiates. I did think last night, when my pain level suddenly spiked up in one foot and ankle just as I tried to go to sleep, that it would be so easy to take some marijuana (it's legal here, and we do have a small amount in the house, and more than one of my doctors have recommended it for pain control - but I don't like using it because I can't function on it and it makes me feel disconnected from my body, and slow, and stupid) and just sleep through the pain. But I don't want to go down that road, either. I can see the marijuana becoming just as much of a crutch as the opiates, although I'm not sure how marijuana tolerance impacts the efficacy of using it for pain control long-term, as using different variations of it even just a couple times was enough to tell me that it wasn't an acceptable solution for me personally. So instead, I got up, put on a movie, and started embroidering. It worked. I can find ways to deal with this pain issue without needing something that's going to drastically alter my perceptions while it's active.
Really happy with how my recovery is going otherwise. I'm not craving opiates. I did think last night, when my pain level suddenly spiked up in one foot and ankle just as I tried to go to sleep, that it would be so easy to take some marijuana (it's legal here, and we do have a small amount in the house, and more than one of my doctors have recommended it for pain control - but I don't like using it because I can't function on it and it makes me feel disconnected from my body, and slow, and stupid) and just sleep through the pain. But I don't want to go down that road, either. I can see the marijuana becoming just as much of a crutch as the opiates, although I'm not sure how marijuana tolerance impacts the efficacy of using it for pain control long-term, as using different variations of it even just a couple times was enough to tell me that it wasn't an acceptable solution for me personally. So instead, I got up, put on a movie, and started embroidering. It worked. I can find ways to deal with this pain issue without needing something that's going to drastically alter my perceptions while it's active.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 322
Thomas59 - you are correct, the newcomers section is quite all over the place and depressing. In the end we are in charge of our own minds and all those stories instead make me realise how lucky I am and how miniscule my problems really are.
Other people have illnesses, families, mental health issues, multiple addictions and so forth. I sympathize with them, but use their stories to not get distracted and concentrate on bettering my life. If they can do it. So can I.
Other people have illnesses, families, mental health issues, multiple addictions and so forth. I sympathize with them, but use their stories to not get distracted and concentrate on bettering my life. If they can do it. So can I.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Renvate thanks for that .
Let me try and rephrase this ( i,m not great at writing ,my grammar is all over the place at times )
I think SR is a life saver and is the place I came to each time I needed help .
I am empathetic towards every single person whom I know have many problems and addictions , I just want to hug and cry or laugh with them .
I know what it,s like . I have a lifetime history of alcohol abuse and many years of benzo and co-codamol abuse ( I think the medical establishment in UK should be sued for dishing out long term scrips for benzodiazepine for relief of anxiety .)
Because I am still in early recover at 55 days I still sometimes feel fragile and what I mean by that is sometimes small things can swing my mood down suddenly .
I am quite spiritual and sometimes the despair I pick up from others resonates with me so much I feel hopeless because iv,e been there , wore their shoes to some degree , some more some less .Its like I have this connection with them and I don't know how to deal with it .
On this forum and others I have previously been a member ( for anxiety which I took myself out of as all that is talked about is symptoms and illness , never wellness , scare mongering is rife ) .
Very few of us REALLY know each other .
We don't see facial expression ,hand gestures ,body language . we don't hear or feel (such as a handshake or embrace) . Very few of us know whats really going on , it would take months at least writing all day to tell our REAL story . A couple of paragraphs can never do that . I get annoyed at times when I see judgement passed on someone we have never saw based on a few lines and probably lines that are distorted through mental health issues and or addiction(s) .
Having said all that I still think as internet forums go this is the best for addictions . It is very well run by dedicated people and the long term sober people are always ready to lend their wisdom .
I hope I am making some sense in my fuzzy headed way .
I solute all newcomers on deciding to get sober .
This is just some feelings that I needed to express .
Bless
Let me try and rephrase this ( i,m not great at writing ,my grammar is all over the place at times )
I think SR is a life saver and is the place I came to each time I needed help .
I am empathetic towards every single person whom I know have many problems and addictions , I just want to hug and cry or laugh with them .
I know what it,s like . I have a lifetime history of alcohol abuse and many years of benzo and co-codamol abuse ( I think the medical establishment in UK should be sued for dishing out long term scrips for benzodiazepine for relief of anxiety .)
Because I am still in early recover at 55 days I still sometimes feel fragile and what I mean by that is sometimes small things can swing my mood down suddenly .
I am quite spiritual and sometimes the despair I pick up from others resonates with me so much I feel hopeless because iv,e been there , wore their shoes to some degree , some more some less .Its like I have this connection with them and I don't know how to deal with it .
On this forum and others I have previously been a member ( for anxiety which I took myself out of as all that is talked about is symptoms and illness , never wellness , scare mongering is rife ) .
Very few of us REALLY know each other .
We don't see facial expression ,hand gestures ,body language . we don't hear or feel (such as a handshake or embrace) . Very few of us know whats really going on , it would take months at least writing all day to tell our REAL story . A couple of paragraphs can never do that . I get annoyed at times when I see judgement passed on someone we have never saw based on a few lines and probably lines that are distorted through mental health issues and or addiction(s) .
Having said all that I still think as internet forums go this is the best for addictions . It is very well run by dedicated people and the long term sober people are always ready to lend their wisdom .
I hope I am making some sense in my fuzzy headed way .
I solute all newcomers on deciding to get sober .
This is just some feelings that I needed to express .
Bless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Newcomers doesn't depress me at all - maybe I've been here so long I know that the majority of the people who become regulars here have some success in recovery
Don't Lose heart - don't let that AV talk you down and depress you guys
I can suggest the Under One Year thread as a good positive place to hang out
D
ps I take your point on judgements being made on a few words Thomas.
Don't Lose heart - don't let that AV talk you down and depress you guys
I can suggest the Under One Year thread as a good positive place to hang out
D
ps I take your point on judgements being made on a few words Thomas.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Great post Thomas, thank you.
I like newcomers -like reading the stories of people who have long term sobriety and listening to new people who are just starting out. But I know what you mean, it can be quite depressing. You sound like a very empathetic person which is probably why you feel as you do maybe?
I get the judgment thing. Maybe some of us are just so raw and frustrated with our own issues plus have mental health issues some stuff comes across as judgmental. it's also difficult when, as you say, there is no intonation or body language.
Maybe just read what helps you ?
I like newcomers -like reading the stories of people who have long term sobriety and listening to new people who are just starting out. But I know what you mean, it can be quite depressing. You sound like a very empathetic person which is probably why you feel as you do maybe?
I get the judgment thing. Maybe some of us are just so raw and frustrated with our own issues plus have mental health issues some stuff comes across as judgmental. it's also difficult when, as you say, there is no intonation or body language.
Maybe just read what helps you ?
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
Good Morning all.
RAL- here is to a better work week! or maybe week period,,,,
NewDawning glad you found us, it is a growing and very positive group,
RapidTwitch- can I come live with you?? your house sounds so comfortable with the baking and sewing. I have found some pumpkin bread recipes that I want to try and also need to get some zuccini bread done. As far as sewing, the only thing I do is repair fuzzy dog toys that get shredded in the tug o war competitions.
Nice post Thomas59- the typed word is one of the worst ways we humans communicate. I think I am one of the worst at jumping to the wrong conclusions, I can take a simple "thank you" and turn it into the most snarly sarcastic thank you known to man, get my nose all out of joint and angry at the writer, when that is really all it was, was a thank you. It does take time and effort to know others in this sphere of communication, it is well worth it though.
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RAL- here is to a better work week! or maybe week period,,,,
NewDawning glad you found us, it is a growing and very positive group,
RapidTwitch- can I come live with you?? your house sounds so comfortable with the baking and sewing. I have found some pumpkin bread recipes that I want to try and also need to get some zuccini bread done. As far as sewing, the only thing I do is repair fuzzy dog toys that get shredded in the tug o war competitions.
Nice post Thomas59- the typed word is one of the worst ways we humans communicate. I think I am one of the worst at jumping to the wrong conclusions, I can take a simple "thank you" and turn it into the most snarly sarcastic thank you known to man, get my nose all out of joint and angry at the writer, when that is really all it was, was a thank you. It does take time and effort to know others in this sphere of communication, it is well worth it though.
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Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning Badge
Welcome NewDawning
Nearly midday here, I've done 20 mins on the light lamp and feel surprisingly better. spent the last hour moving furniture around and de-cluttering my son's room and feel more positive. Went on cross trainer but only managed 5 minutes but it's a start.
happy sober Sunday
Welcome NewDawning
Nearly midday here, I've done 20 mins on the light lamp and feel surprisingly better. spent the last hour moving furniture around and de-cluttering my son's room and feel more positive. Went on cross trainer but only managed 5 minutes but it's a start.
happy sober Sunday
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Originally Posted by badgerden
Nice post Thomas59- the typed word is one of the worst ways we humans communicate. I think I am one of the worst at jumping to the wrong conclusions, I can take a simple "thank you" and turn it into the most snarly sarcastic thank you known to man, get my nose all out of joint and angry at the writer, when that is really all it was, was a thank you. It does take time and effort to know others in this sphere of communication, it is well worth it though.
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Ever since I read that I've been trying not to judge anyone, at all. You can never know someone's entire story, and even if you think you do you'll never be able to know how it affected them. We're all so different!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Readyatlast I think because my hearing is so important and I dont want to wake up the whole street with the volume at 95 I am going to splash out on an updated version of TV hearing device .
Dee I don't get depressed per se at reading newcomers posts ( i,m a newcomer too ) . I would say I get frustrated and sometimes overwhelmed at the scale of our problem . I do learn from every post I read no matter what the circumstances are . My feelings are something I need to work on . I am slowly healing so maybe I am at an awkward stage in recovery .
EDIT to say " where I use the word judge maybe assess is better . Also I have been told my personality type A is typically prone to perfectionism , catastrophizing ,fretting and overthinking .
Bargerden , thanks for your comments , yes is so worth it .
Newdawning : welcome
Dee I don't get depressed per se at reading newcomers posts ( i,m a newcomer too ) . I would say I get frustrated and sometimes overwhelmed at the scale of our problem . I do learn from every post I read no matter what the circumstances are . My feelings are something I need to work on . I am slowly healing so maybe I am at an awkward stage in recovery .
EDIT to say " where I use the word judge maybe assess is better . Also I have been told my personality type A is typically prone to perfectionism , catastrophizing ,fretting and overthinking .
Bargerden , thanks for your comments , yes is so worth it .
Newdawning : welcome
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Day 20.
Not much to go on about, the past few weeks have been emotionally challenging and I'm just glad i didn't drink through them cuz it only would have made everything worse and set myself back.
Definitely have more work to do as far as my diet goes, anxiety and nicotine and not having a tendancy toward being self destructive. The drinking may only be the tip of the ice berg.
Happy Sunday to everyone.
Not much to go on about, the past few weeks have been emotionally challenging and I'm just glad i didn't drink through them cuz it only would have made everything worse and set myself back.
Definitely have more work to do as far as my diet goes, anxiety and nicotine and not having a tendancy toward being self destructive. The drinking may only be the tip of the ice berg.
Happy Sunday to everyone.
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