Class of September 2017 Support Thread Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Hi Septembers, hi Caprice - we're on the same day - can you believe it's been nearly a month? It's definitely become more of a habit now. I still think about drinking most days, but it's a duller more distant thought.
And wow! We've all graduated September together. Rounds of applause all round! Cheers! (with herbal teas of course)
It's Sunday afternoon here, an incredibly busy weekend at work, but in a good way.
I roasted a chicken the night before last and have left overs. Chicken pies tonight I think.
A question for all of you: What are your sober goals? I mean obviously to be sober, but what else do you want to do now you have extra time, money, and energy?
For me, I'd really like to save up and have some work done on my teeth. They're not *that* bad, but I've always been a bit ashamed of them, and terrified of how much dentists cost, and there was always feelings of inadequacy too, that someone like me didn't deserve to walk into a fancy dentist and get work done. Red wine has definitely taken a bit of a toll on their whiteness too. So that's my plan. I'd love to hear yours.
And wow! We've all graduated September together. Rounds of applause all round! Cheers! (with herbal teas of course)
It's Sunday afternoon here, an incredibly busy weekend at work, but in a good way.
I roasted a chicken the night before last and have left overs. Chicken pies tonight I think.
A question for all of you: What are your sober goals? I mean obviously to be sober, but what else do you want to do now you have extra time, money, and energy?
For me, I'd really like to save up and have some work done on my teeth. They're not *that* bad, but I've always been a bit ashamed of them, and terrified of how much dentists cost, and there was always feelings of inadequacy too, that someone like me didn't deserve to walk into a fancy dentist and get work done. Red wine has definitely taken a bit of a toll on their whiteness too. So that's my plan. I'd love to hear yours.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,915
Good topic, Kachal! I've been wanting to explore my creative side and be more involved in the art world.......(I'll be in need of dental work too, and for the same reasons 
)
Gotta get ready 4 work but I'll see y'all a little later!
)Gotta get ready 4 work but I'll see y'all a little later!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all,
Great to see people checking in
Kachal-I can relate to that. I have loads of sober goals. Losing weight should be simple but seems so much harder as we get older. I would like to get my nose done. It's quite big at the tip and i'd love a small refined nose It's got worse over the years, probably wine not helped 
Saving wine money to have it done.
Still feel really tired all the time and weather awful here today. Have a good Sunday everyone,
Great to see people checking in
Kachal-I can relate to that. I have loads of sober goals. Losing weight should be simple but seems so much harder as we get older. I would like to get my nose done. It's quite big at the tip and i'd love a small refined nose
It's got worse over the years, probably wine not helped 
Saving wine money to have it done. Still feel really tired all the time and weather awful here today. Have a good Sunday everyone,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Originally Posted by Kachal 
Hi Septembers, hi Caprice - we're on the same day - can you believe it's been nearly a month? It's definitely become more of a habit now. I still think about drinking most days, but it's a duller more distant thought.
And wow! We've all graduated September together. Rounds of applause all round! Cheers! (with herbal teas of course)
It's Sunday afternoon here, an incredibly busy weekend at work, but in a good way.
I roasted a chicken the night before last and have left overs. Chicken pies tonight I think.
A question for all of you: What are your sober goals? I mean obviously to be sober, but what else do you want to do now you have extra time, money, and energy?
For me, I'd really like to save up and have some work done on my teeth. They're not *that* bad, but I've always been a bit ashamed of them, and terrified of how much dentists cost, and there was always feelings of inadequacy too, that someone like me didn't deserve to walk into a fancy dentist and get work done. Red wine has definitely taken a bit of a toll on their whiteness too. So that's my plan. I'd love to hear yours.
And wow! We've all graduated September together. Rounds of applause all round! Cheers! (with herbal teas of course)
It's Sunday afternoon here, an incredibly busy weekend at work, but in a good way.
I roasted a chicken the night before last and have left overs. Chicken pies tonight I think.
A question for all of you: What are your sober goals? I mean obviously to be sober, but what else do you want to do now you have extra time, money, and energy?
For me, I'd really like to save up and have some work done on my teeth. They're not *that* bad, but I've always been a bit ashamed of them, and terrified of how much dentists cost, and there was always feelings of inadequacy too, that someone like me didn't deserve to walk into a fancy dentist and get work done. Red wine has definitely taken a bit of a toll on their whiteness too. So that's my plan. I'd love to hear yours.
Too bad your employer doesn't cover medical costs. Dentists can be expensive but that is a great goal.
For me, apart from staying sober my goal is to work on my other issues mainly associated to diet and mood. I'm just not steady or stable and don't know if I'll ever be.
Financially, I want to save for flight and start up costs along with my pups to Mexico come January. Also quit smoking by the end of this month after i finish the cartons i bought. Yuck. But given i always eat out, my expenses are up there if not more so than when i drank because then i wouldn't eat as much or often.
Good luck to all and congrats on graduating in September! Hope we all stay on the wagon.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Happy Sober Sunday everyone! Look, we graduated! Today is day 41 for me. Wow! A miracle. Yesterday I finished my 5th, 6th and 7th steps. The 6th and 7th are quick ones. I feel wonderful about it!!
My goals for sobriety are to learn how to stand up for myself while still being nice. Not to be afraid of confrontation and 'difficult conversations'. To be less selfish and become open to close relationships.
I also want to start saving toward retirement, lose weight and become more spiritual.
A new house would be great, too.
And, pay off the IR(#$@)S!
My goals for sobriety are to learn how to stand up for myself while still being nice. Not to be afraid of confrontation and 'difficult conversations'. To be less selfish and become open to close relationships.
I also want to start saving toward retirement, lose weight and become more spiritual.
A new house would be great, too.
And, pay off the IR(#$@)S!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Congrats on day 41 sober369 and getting through the steps. Are you finding it helpful working through them? I went to a few AA meetings about 10 years ago and did enjoy it but didnt continue with them.
Day 35 for me - just realised. I'm not being as obsessed with counting days as I was last time. I love counting as quite an organised obsessive person with lists and counting days etc but for some reason I'm not counting as obsessively this time. I don't know why tbh.
My son is home from seeing his father and his father has given him a decent amount of money which was a huge surprise. Makes up for the lack of child support over the last 18 months. The crazy thing is when we first separated 3 years ago he paid regular maintenance and after the initial shock and animosity of the split we got on quite well, civilly at least. This all deteriorated throughout this year to the point we don't even speak anymore. All contact and access arrangements are made between my ex h and new h who get on very well. Considering I left my ex h for my new h it sounds extremely weird and bizarre. Anyway ex h refuses to speak to me as we had words some months ago with me accusing him of lack of contact an lack of child support.
Anyway, tomorrow I was planning to text him to thank him for the money for our son and say he had a nice weekend with him and hopefully he will see him again soon. Do you think this is ok? I want to acknowledge and thank him for the money and be civil. Of course he will probably ignore me but I feel it is the right thing to do for may part.
Don't you find it's these sort of things that require thought and feelings and sorting out that can be quite difficult to deal with sober? At least I am clear headed and just telling myself all I can do is what I think is best. If I am honest with myself the row we had was when I was drunk and I left a very aggressive message on his phone.Whilst what I said was true I could have done it in a much better way for all concerned.
Day 35 for me - just realised. I'm not being as obsessed with counting days as I was last time. I love counting as quite an organised obsessive person with lists and counting days etc but for some reason I'm not counting as obsessively this time. I don't know why tbh.
My son is home from seeing his father and his father has given him a decent amount of money which was a huge surprise. Makes up for the lack of child support over the last 18 months. The crazy thing is when we first separated 3 years ago he paid regular maintenance and after the initial shock and animosity of the split we got on quite well, civilly at least. This all deteriorated throughout this year to the point we don't even speak anymore. All contact and access arrangements are made between my ex h and new h who get on very well. Considering I left my ex h for my new h it sounds extremely weird and bizarre. Anyway ex h refuses to speak to me as we had words some months ago with me accusing him of lack of contact an lack of child support.
Anyway, tomorrow I was planning to text him to thank him for the money for our son and say he had a nice weekend with him and hopefully he will see him again soon. Do you think this is ok? I want to acknowledge and thank him for the money and be civil. Of course he will probably ignore me but I feel it is the right thing to do for may part.
Don't you find it's these sort of things that require thought and feelings and sorting out that can be quite difficult to deal with sober? At least I am clear headed and just telling myself all I can do is what I think is best. If I am honest with myself the row we had was when I was drunk and I left a very aggressive message on his phone.Whilst what I said was true I could have done it in a much better way for all concerned.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I'm struggling with diet and mood too Caprice plus feel tired all the time. I'm hoping it helps more when we get more sober days and things fall into place It's exciting for you to be planning a move
Hope work goes well purpleprks
Congrats on day 27 Kachal and everyone else on their days.
I wonder if we have lost some of our class when we moved, maybe some have gone into October.
Hope we all stick around
It's exciting for you to be planning a move Hope work goes well purpleprks
Congrats on day 27 Kachal and everyone else on their days.
I wonder if we have lost some of our class when we moved, maybe some have gone into October.
Hope we all stick around
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 171
Originally Posted by Caprice6
Morning Kachal, congrats on Day 27!
Too bad your employer doesn't cover medical costs. Dentists can be expensive but that is a great goal.
.
Too bad your employer doesn't cover medical costs. Dentists can be expensive but that is a great goal.
.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Where the Honey is
Posts: 728
Happy Sober Sunday. Day 22. Having a good weekend. Family seems a little less on guard and we have had a few enjoyable moments. I have been very vocal in the actions I am taking to remain sober: SR, counselor, Action Plan and meeting attendance. I did not try this hard the last quit. That is probably why I failed - you think!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Happy Sober Sunday from me too. I’m back on all cylinders. I had a good day. I took my friend, who has been really sick, grocery shopping. I dropped her at the grocery store and went to REI next door 
. Boy that place is dangerous. Kuhl, Prana, Patagonia, Northface, the place is a wonderland for guys who love high tech, ultra durable, clothes. Ended up leaving with a hoodie and a pair of pants. Ouch! Whatever, I’ve got a year to return them. I do need to return some things and just stop shopping period.
I was going to make a bunch of food but I’m not hungry. I’m ready to settle in.
Viper
. Boy that place is dangerous. Kuhl, Prana, Patagonia, Northface, the place is a wonderland for guys who love high tech, ultra durable, clothes. Ended up leaving with a hoodie and a pair of pants. Ouch! Whatever, I’ve got a year to return them. I do need to return some things and just stop shopping period. I was going to make a bunch of food but I’m not hungry. I’m ready to settle in.
Viper
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 258
Popping in after a very busy but productive sober weekend. It's amazing how much I can accomplish when not spending my weekends drinking!
Day 31 today, woohoo! No desire to drink. Have replaced that with clothes shopping. Ca-ching!
Have read all the posts, thank you, I'm sure that all of us are helping each other with our posts.
Headed to bed shortly, prepping for a very long week at work. Have a board meeting to get ready for to lead, new employees coming in etc...
Stay strong and sober!
Day 31 today, woohoo! No desire to drink. Have replaced that with clothes shopping. Ca-ching!
Have read all the posts, thank you, I'm sure that all of us are helping each other with our posts.
Headed to bed shortly, prepping for a very long week at work. Have a board meeting to get ready for to lead, new employees coming in etc...
Stay strong and sober!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 526
Good luck RAL with the ex, nice of him to have come through for your son in either case though. Glad to hear I'm not the only one struggling in dealing with myself, whims and impulses (other than alcohol).
I hope it will turn out alright with that Mexican adventure, I'm a little worried but done with office jobs and the harsh CDN winters. A new language and some culture (Toronto lacks any of the latter) would be welcome along with better weather. if I need to struggle to get by or live from paycheck to paycheck, may as well try it out somewhere I may enjoy these life's terms better or more.
I hear ya Kachal about self employment, it has it's pros and cons. I started boarding/walking/daycare for dogs and other services once I quit corporate and although there's lots of opportunities for it here, there are also many others who do the same and I am not anticipating being in the freezing cold for up to 6 hours a day come winter. Also, I seldom know from one week to the next what my income will bring, but so far so okay. I did have to get a roommate to save, have been ripped off by some scum (for $1650) and need to make up for it too. I got a few on board over the weekend and on the next as well (up to 5 altogether boarding, and walking twice as much). It's hard work, many are not easy to handle and/or have other issues.
Long live this thread, I hope more return, check in and continue on this sober journey!
Also wanted to mention when I skip replying or "thanking" it's because I am more often typing on my cell and do not have the option to click on particular tabs.
I hope it will turn out alright with that Mexican adventure, I'm a little worried but done with office jobs and the harsh CDN winters. A new language and some culture (Toronto lacks any of the latter) would be welcome along with better weather. if I need to struggle to get by or live from paycheck to paycheck, may as well try it out somewhere I may enjoy these life's terms better or more.
I hear ya Kachal about self employment, it has it's pros and cons. I started boarding/walking/daycare for dogs and other services once I quit corporate and although there's lots of opportunities for it here, there are also many others who do the same and I am not anticipating being in the freezing cold for up to 6 hours a day come winter. Also, I seldom know from one week to the next what my income will bring, but so far so okay. I did have to get a roommate to save, have been ripped off by some scum (for $1650) and need to make up for it too. I got a few on board over the weekend and on the next as well (up to 5 altogether boarding, and walking twice as much). It's hard work, many are not easy to handle and/or have other issues.
Long live this thread, I hope more return, check in and continue on this sober journey!
Also wanted to mention when I skip replying or "thanking" it's because I am more often typing on my cell and do not have the option to click on particular tabs.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: US
Posts: 52
Been a rough week, had a very unwanted medical issue that kept me at home with something else to worry about. The past few months have really just been the worst, so many obstacles. Hopefully the Doc took care of it and time will heal without further interruptions in my life. Definitely kept me away from drinking so thats good! Just finished Day 24.
Tomorrow will be the first day at a new job, it's freelance but I have not worked since I got laid off a few months ago so a step in the right Direction. Need to keep busy.
Not being able to get any sober closer with my ex girlfriend has still been the most difficult thing mentally to get over and tonight has been really bad. I don't want those drunk texts or words to represent all of me to her and I fear that's all she see's in me now. Never had anyone I loved so much be mad at me like this before. I tried to message her once a week ago but I'll never know if she got it as she blocked me off an on. I know that was the last thing I could do to try and make amends.
Anyone have advice for moving forward after drunk incidents ruined a relationship without much chance of closure afterwords? I'm really hurting with this.
Tomorrow will be the first day at a new job, it's freelance but I have not worked since I got laid off a few months ago so a step in the right Direction. Need to keep busy.
Not being able to get any sober closer with my ex girlfriend has still been the most difficult thing mentally to get over and tonight has been really bad. I don't want those drunk texts or words to represent all of me to her and I fear that's all she see's in me now. Never had anyone I loved so much be mad at me like this before. I tried to message her once a week ago but I'll never know if she got it as she blocked me off an on. I know that was the last thing I could do to try and make amends.
Anyone have advice for moving forward after drunk incidents ruined a relationship without much chance of closure afterwords? I'm really hurting with this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,466
I thin you need to focus on yourself right now Neo - as much as you want to fix things, a bit of space will probably do the both of you some good.
Get yourself together and securely in recovery - then you can mend fences... actions speak louder than words in my experience anyway - you getting sober and staying that way will be better than any words.
D
Get yourself together and securely in recovery - then you can mend fences... actions speak louder than words in my experience anyway - you getting sober and staying that way will be better than any words.
D
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,915
Yes, try to focus on you, Neo......easier said than done, I know....I'm the expert at beating myself up over those kinds of things....this crap just takes time I guess....stay close to SR! 
Hey September-members! Trying to bounce back and forth between here, August 2017, and my "home" group March '16.....the little voice says "Then stop slipping, dummy!!!"
Glad to be here with you all.....I won't drink today!
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Seattle
Posts: 140
Kachal- I can so relate to the feelings on the dentist. For me, I always worried about being judged by the dentist.. my enamel has worn away a bit from passing out after drinking and not brushing my teeth. I’ve had thousands of dollars of orthodontic work done so my teeth are straight, it’s a shame I’ve let them get cavities and ruined the enamel. As far as sober goals, mine right now are: Setting appropriate boundaries with people (I tend to either be WAY too passive or react in anger), continue to improve my spiritual life, continue in AA and working the steps, also I can highly relate to the diet and mood stuff that others mentioned- maybe this is just the norm at this point in sobriety to be feeling this way?
Purp- Yes, I’d also love to explore my creative side more! I have always been an artist of some sort… writer, musician, painter and it all became nonexistent while I was drinking. Time to try again.
Caprice- Quitting smoking is hard, but I know you can do it!
Sober369- Great job in completing 5,6 and 7! During my longest stint of sobriety (3 yrs) I worked the steps, had a sponsor, eventually sponsored other people and went to a lot of meetings. It was when I started to detach from AA that I relapsed. I’m looking forward ro beginning to read with my new sponsor this week and get back into it!
RAL- I can relate so much to your situation. We are also a blended family and have a parenting plan in place. The tension is mostly between my step-daughter’s mother and us. I would run it by your husband first to see what he thinks about you sending that text. My opinion is that it sounds like a good idea, but I also appreciate when my husband asks me before he texts something like that to his ex. It sounds like you are really putting a lot of thought and care into this- good job!
Badger- My family seems a lot less on-guard too. It feels really nice to see that I’m slowly regaining their trust.
Viper- REI is totally my weakness too!
HG- good luck with your meeting today!
Neo- What worked for me is going to AA meetings and doing the steps- especially making amends to those I harmed during my drinking. Other than that, just time and proving that you are not the person you seemed to be when you were drinking. Hoping it all works out.
Stronger- good job on 28!!
Purp- Yes, I’d also love to explore my creative side more! I have always been an artist of some sort… writer, musician, painter and it all became nonexistent while I was drinking. Time to try again.
Caprice- Quitting smoking is hard, but I know you can do it!
Sober369- Great job in completing 5,6 and 7! During my longest stint of sobriety (3 yrs) I worked the steps, had a sponsor, eventually sponsored other people and went to a lot of meetings. It was when I started to detach from AA that I relapsed. I’m looking forward ro beginning to read with my new sponsor this week and get back into it!
RAL- I can relate so much to your situation. We are also a blended family and have a parenting plan in place. The tension is mostly between my step-daughter’s mother and us. I would run it by your husband first to see what he thinks about you sending that text. My opinion is that it sounds like a good idea, but I also appreciate when my husband asks me before he texts something like that to his ex. It sounds like you are really putting a lot of thought and care into this- good job!
Badger- My family seems a lot less on-guard too. It feels really nice to see that I’m slowly regaining their trust.
Viper- REI is totally my weakness too!
HG- good luck with your meeting today!
Neo- What worked for me is going to AA meetings and doing the steps- especially making amends to those I harmed during my drinking. Other than that, just time and proving that you are not the person you seemed to be when you were drinking. Hoping it all works out.
Stronger- good job on 28!!
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Seattle
Posts: 140
Hey everyone, quick day 31 check in. This weekend was busy and stressful with all of the kid's activities. I'm trying to be grateful for this season and realize that it's not going to last forever, and I'll most likely miss it a lot when it's over.
Other than that, waking up to the Las Vegas news has my heart breaking. We are supposed to leave this Saturday for Mandalay Bay with our 2 older girls. I cried a lot this morning... I can't imagine how scary that would be. I'm also wondering if they will reschedule the conference? I doubt it since tens of thousands of hotel rooms and flights have already been booked. We should know more this afternoon.
Other than that I'm doing ok. No super strong urges to drink.. it's just my mood- I've been really edgy/cranky lately and will look into some stress-management strategies today. What do you all do when life just seems really overwhelming and stressful to calm yourselves down?
Other than that, waking up to the Las Vegas news has my heart breaking. We are supposed to leave this Saturday for Mandalay Bay with our 2 older girls. I cried a lot this morning... I can't imagine how scary that would be. I'm also wondering if they will reschedule the conference? I doubt it since tens of thousands of hotel rooms and flights have already been booked. We should know more this afternoon.
Other than that I'm doing ok. No super strong urges to drink.. it's just my mood- I've been really edgy/cranky lately and will look into some stress-management strategies today. What do you all do when life just seems really overwhelming and stressful to calm yourselves down?
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: US
Posts: 52
Thank you Dee, Purplrks, Stronger and hns. Gonna try and go through the day just working on myself, with my focus on the positives of my sobriety. Time is very much what I need to heal and she wants her space, I need to keep telling myself this.
I hope the day is treating you all as good as it could.
hns-I am fairly new to figuring out some stress and anxiety tactics myself. The two that seem to have worked for me at times so far has been letting everything out through talking or writing. I'll write everything down on paper that I am feeling or I will talk to a friend or family member I know I can trust. While those haven't been a 100% stress cure, those two things as well as a nice run or walk have made things easier.
I hope the day is treating you all as good as it could.
hns-I am fairly new to figuring out some stress and anxiety tactics myself. The two that seem to have worked for me at times so far has been letting everything out through talking or writing. I'll write everything down on paper that I am feeling or I will talk to a friend or family member I know I can trust. While those haven't been a 100% stress cure, those two things as well as a nice run or walk have made things easier.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hi everyone,
Thanks Caprice. I changed career and moved countries some years ago and it's the best thing I ever did. Good luck with your new adventure. Follow your heart and what you want to do. If you don't try you'll never know
Congrats on 24 days neo. I agree with the others, concentrate on yourself and let your ex go. you'll only drive yourself mad texting and wondering if it got through.
Congrats on 31 days HG & HNS
Good to have you here Purplprks I still check into my old group Dec 2012 too.
HNS - isn't it awful about Vegas. I thought of you this morning and thought it was this weekend you were there. A relief you weren't but such an awful happening especially as you were going to that hotel too. Thanks for your kind words. i'm lucky in that my husband has no children so he only has to deal with mine. It must be challengin at times having stepchldren and exes to deal with.
Congrats on day 28 Stronger. You're getting stronger
had a good day at work though very tired not. not sluggish, just proper work tired!
Thanks Caprice. I changed career and moved countries some years ago and it's the best thing I ever did. Good luck with your new adventure. Follow your heart and what you want to do. If you don't try you'll never know
Congrats on 24 days neo. I agree with the others, concentrate on yourself and let your ex go. you'll only drive yourself mad texting and wondering if it got through.
Congrats on 31 days HG & HNS
Good to have you here Purplprks
I still check into my old group Dec 2012 too.HNS - isn't it awful about Vegas. I thought of you this morning and thought it was this weekend you were there. A relief you weren't but such an awful happening especially as you were going to that hotel too. Thanks for your kind words. i'm lucky in that my husband has no children so he only has to deal with mine. It must be challengin at times having stepchldren and exes to deal with.
Congrats on day 28 Stronger. You're getting stronger
had a good day at work though very tired not. not sluggish, just proper work tired!
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