FBL

Gil.

Gilmer

Canadian Koala

Yes, I'd like to stick around for awhile...it looks like a nice group.
Thanks Gilmer

stargazer016

Until you found out that I hang around here too!

Good to see you CK! Have you made your first year yet? This is a very unique of folks here with different world views and personalities, but we all share the vision of living each new 24 hour day without alcohol. There is a lot of hard earned wisdom here.

FBL, sorry Fran has not progressed as quickly as hoped, but it is better to take the safe road in this situation. I am also glad to hear that your boss is becoming aware of the enormity of responsibility that will lie ahead of him in the coming months.

Gilmer, what courses will you be pursuing after you finish Greek? There is a reason behind the saying," It's all Greek to me" isn't there?

Courage, thanks for your continued wisdom.

Glee, I love reading your perspectives on sobriety and life, as we both work in the corporate world and face unique challenges to ourselves and our sobriety each and every day.

Just finished a week of working 5:00 am each day. I enjoy working a steady shift each day, though I just can't fall asleep early enough to get more than five hours of sleep a night.

Went out with family and friends late last night for a local production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The cast were very funny, and the audience was hysterical screaming out line after line. In my younger days, many theaters featured midnight showings on weekends for years and years. I know that I will be singing "Time Warp" to myself all day long.

I have a friend whom went back out and is struggling immensely from hour to hour and day to day. Though we all have varying lengths of sobriety underneath our belts, take a moment today to think back to our own Day Ones and be incredibly grateful for each and every moment of our lives that we have sober. It is easy to forget that our whole world can come crashing down in flames with just one errant thought leading to just one drink. Remember the disgust, self loathing, lying, and hopelessness that our lives were until very recently. Be grateful, kindhearted and forgiving to those that are part of our lives as we have no idea what demons are running around inside their heads. Make the world a better, safer and more nurturing place one thought at a time.

Gilmer

Hi, SG.

When I was younger I saw midnight showings of Rocky Horror numerous times. I even dressed up twice!

The first time I was in college. At that time I was overweight, owned a flannel shirt, and had an unfortunate haircut, so I went as Eddie.

Three years later I had dropped a lot of weight, so I went with my waitressing gang and dressed as Janet.

Unfortunately, the theater that was showing Rocky Horror was the very same theater my dad worked at as a projectionist.

I knew he’d be up on the third floor in the projection room, so I knew he’d never know I was there.

I didn’t count on his boss spotting me, though.

He ran up and tattled to my dad, who came charging downstairs full of fury and complete embarrassment!

He dragged me away from my pals and ordered me to get home IMMEDIATELY!

Now that I’m old I’m in seminary. I’ve already taken all of the classes in the Old Testament. After Greek I plan to take the four classes in the New Testament; whether I’ll plow through the rest of the degree I don’t know yet.

I like the analysis of the actual books, but the languages are really frustrating. This current class makes me want to throw in the towel.

gleefan

I agree with what everyone said so far. When I am carrying guilt for something I've done I try to break it down: what did I do? Why did I do it? Was it because my security felt threatened? What specifically felt threatened?

Then I tell someone what I did and what part of me felt threatened. I try to talk to someone outside of the situation, like my sponsor, or Carlos, or another friend. I might write about it here to get this group's perspective. The key for me is to get honest feedback. Putting it to light never fails to relieve my discomfort.

Nine times out of ten, I was simply upholding my boundaries -- and what I experience as guilt is actually just feeling a bit jangled after upholding a boundary. (That's still new for me).

I suspect that might be the same for you. Felling guilty for doing the *right* thing is a challenge many women face.

I recommend doing the analysis and then asking a trusted sober friend or friends feedback. You can always conduct this over PM if you don't have a guru IRL and the details can't be shared on a public internet page. I know you have a lot of connections and any of us would be honored to support you, my dear.


Sitting in the car with my youngest at an ice rink while his brother's team prepares for the first hockey game of the day. It's drizzling and I am drinking coffee while we are listening to a great 90s song on the radio. Pretty soon we'll go in and hang out with everyone but it's cool we got to sneak in a cozy moment on a long day on the road!

This is a rink where 5 years ago a super prissy hockey mom on my older sons team ripped me a new one. I felt so guilty and trashy for getting yelled at, that I ran to the car and cried. I felt like I must have done something to incite it from such a nice person.

Our paths have crossed from time to time since that season. I've always just ignored her, but felt ashamed like it was my fault. Haha, today I understand that whether I did (or didn't) say something to incite her anger, no one deserves to be publicly humiliated.

Gilmer

Thank you, Glee.

JL2014

Welcome Ck,

I'm moderately more successful at letting things go but in recovery I'm still such an emotional child that my upsets are like inner tantrums. I can, now, however, look for my part in a bad situation and first turn it over, then if I'm listening to my higher power, I'm WAY better off. I know being sober has also opened me up to experience some pain and sadness that needs to be addressed.
I think counseling may be on my future . Not sure, but it'll come if it's meant to.
Busy crazy week . Wife's surgery is in the morning. It'll be hectic, but I'll be there sober by the grace of God, to take care of everyone and hopefully survive some bad work drama, unrelated to me personally.
Good night friends
Praying for Mrs Fran-

Canadian Koala

I'm happy to see you are in this group SG, I always like to read you in the "One Year and Under Club" group.
I'm still a true Undie at 10 ½ months but I'm getting there!
(It's fun that halves still count somewhere in my life lol)

I do more than remember because it was almost yesterday.
I often have dreams where I'm on a relapse and I know I shouldn’t drink or smoke.
I had one a few hours ago and it leaves a very sour taste to start the day.
I will feel guilty as hell for hours before it disappears. No control on that?

I did a lot of bad things in my active life, to others but mostly to me.
Sometimes, I'm happy that at least I didn't kill anybody.
There’s a long way to go until I feel completely OK but I’m willing to make it day after day, one day at a time.

I’m grateful to have SR to help me go through my quest for sanity.
Have a good day

Gilmer

Congratulations on your four week soberversary, Site!

I’ll be praying for your wife today, JL.

FBL

CK, we'll keep a chair warm for you in the overs section!

Another busy week ahead on my Album book project,

Have a great Monday, gang!

courage2

A long string of excellent POSTs!

Whenever that almost-knee-jerk thought comes up, 'I don't have to deal with [insert person, place, thing], I can just get drunk,' I visualize my bottom. No, I can't *just* get drunk.

Continued thoughts for Fran, and JL, for your wife.

Thanks, someone for asking, yes I got the pip of the paper in, have already regretted order of the introduction, and am now several hours behind on the next lift. I have 4 more big things over the next 10 weeks. I should put one of those progress bars in my signature -- now standing at 20%.

Gilmer

I am very much more at peace now. The friend whom I had wronged has just made me a lovely goodwill gesture, which I appreciate deeply and have reciprocated in kind.

I feel so much better now than I did this time last week.

Thank you all for supporting me when I was down.

courage2

Gilmer!

Welcome, Koala!

gleefan

Gilmer - What a nice turn of events.

JL - Yes! 1000 times this! I'm doing this right now, trying to take a step back from a highly frustrating youth hockey situation. If I can tune out my ego and instead tune in to my HP, I can at minimum feel some serenity and stop adding to the problem. I can't be part of the solution of my ego stays planted in the drivers' seat.

I hope your wife's surgery went ok.

Fbl - I hope Fran is doing better too.

Welcome to the new POSTers.

Prayers for all of us to have serenity.

JL2014

Gilmer I'm SO happy that situation went good, for you. I say that because for one to go good I'm my own experiences, has been a newer thing , in sobriety.
I'm glad recovery works !!
Well, laundrys done, baths, dishes are done as they're gettin ! Lol.
Wife's now snoozing, prayers are done, kids are sharing a computer in bed together ( my hearts bout to bust on that note), those little guys together is all I've ever need in my life. all the post coming home bloods cleaned up ( soaks through a little. ( ureter mesh sling installed). I'm on kids then work, next 2 days, then off to S Ga for a Firefighter test. Remainder of Thur and Friday are off, Then a 3 day stretch.
Thank y'all for the thoughts and prayers.
Courage, you're a worker, for real !
Hugs to you all. I'm gonna try to

JL2014

My post got all scrambled up.
My 2 little angel boys fighting.
4 yr old called 9 yr old stupid and punched him. 9 yr old used psy- ops and said "you suck"
In came somebody to inform of the wrong done and pled for justice ( that being the hanging at dawn- of the other one) !!!
Life, one day at a time. LMAO !!!!

stargazer016

So all, I have permission from the lady herself to let you know that Delizadee is alive and clever and biting as ever. She has and is going through a very difficult patch in her personal life and is mired down in the Canadian Judicial System fighting for guardianship of her children. I made her promise that when she finally gets back home, she will start writing the novellas here that we all grew to love.

Courage, she wanted to thank you for the word "Unflappability" as she has faced a ton of crap from all sides recently but is standing as strong as she can.

PS: Don't tell her I told you this, but Thursday the 19th is her birthday!

Gilmer

Oh, I’m so pleased, SG! Thank you for letting us know! I’m rooting for her with both barrels to gain custody of her kids.

JL2014

I hope she gets something worked out with her family stuff. In another group we posted at the same time she posted about things, and I could really empathize with those feelings.
Sometimes ( like now) I feel like I shouldn't post little life tales about my 3 boys, but one really rude awakening thing I've observed in non-drinkers is that they can tend to see children as some type of burden, and in fairness, that may be in some cases. I hate it when I notice that, as I'm pretty sure I don't deserve mine the way I've drank over the years. Not a resentment I don't think, just a realization, and quite s few instances made my 4th step lists.
I know she's come along ways in her sobriety, and we all have.
Whew. I'll not be re-reading ANY of my old, looney posts from when I first started on here. Maybe if it's relevant to helping someone stay sober; that'd be it.
The fact that I genuinely care about other people, and if they're doing ok, is a different way of life for me. It was all me and my BS, for most years prior.