Class of November 2016 Support Thread Part 7
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
Oh Kimmy, sometimes you really do have to put the phone down, and mean it. I had to make a similar decision with a friend of mine as it was doing my head in.
Strange thing, when I made that determination she became much more reasonable, but still I have to be vigilant about how much I am prepared to take. Boundaries are really important Kimmy and I'm crap at them, but each time I set one it always works out for the best, for both parties. Big hugs Kimmy.
This stuff is so hard to talk about. I can't at the moment.
Did want to say rainy when you posted about the death of a friend, and thoughts of drinking, that a woman I met at rehab did exactly that, and turned the entire funeral on its head. It was outrageous. A young man who had overdosed. I'm so glad you didn't drink rainy.
Also, thanks to everyone for liking my trolley. After I posted it I felt like a d/head and wanted to retract. Thanks Nobenders.
My head is too messy to say anything of worth so will close in letting Solly and all know that I am keeping the faith.
Strange thing, when I made that determination she became much more reasonable, but still I have to be vigilant about how much I am prepared to take. Boundaries are really important Kimmy and I'm crap at them, but each time I set one it always works out for the best, for both parties. Big hugs Kimmy.
This stuff is so hard to talk about. I can't at the moment.
Did want to say rainy when you posted about the death of a friend, and thoughts of drinking, that a woman I met at rehab did exactly that, and turned the entire funeral on its head. It was outrageous. A young man who had overdosed. I'm so glad you didn't drink rainy.
Also, thanks to everyone for liking my trolley. After I posted it I felt like a d/head and wanted to retract. Thanks Nobenders.
My head is too messy to say anything of worth so will close in letting Solly and all know that I am keeping the faith.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 354
Hi Dee. I know, only thing is, I don't know which makes me more anxious. Answering or not!
I know you guys are here for me. I am staying strong and am going to stay accountable to my nuclear family, my online family and myself. X
I know you guys are here for me. I am staying strong and am going to stay accountable to my nuclear family, my online family and myself. X
The Little Alcoholic Monstress That Could
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,159
Thank you all.
Kimmy sounds like we both have a little standing up to our sisters to do.
Today was nice, took the kids to the park, ate a yummy vegan burger, and now watching my favorite show in a quiet house.
Good night all
Kimmy sounds like we both have a little standing up to our sisters to do.
Today was nice, took the kids to the park, ate a yummy vegan burger, and now watching my favorite show in a quiet house.
Good night all
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 298
In a diner in NYC having breakfast before work, and The Eagles just came on the radio. I smiled and thought about you all.
Went to see Miss Saigon on Broadway last night. It was amazing, and I was sober, and enjoyed the show, rather than being consumed by thoughts of my next drink.
Sober Sunday!
Went to see Miss Saigon on Broadway last night. It was amazing, and I was sober, and enjoyed the show, rather than being consumed by thoughts of my next drink.
Sober Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
I talked to my boyfriend today about how I really feel. He already knew I wasn't doing well lately but he didn't know how bad it was. At first I felt bad about telling him, cause I don't want him to worry and I always feel like I have to deal with everything myself and can't ask for help or support. Sharing here in this class definitely helps me with that. Thank you my lovely classmates!
His reaction was so lovely though, he said he loves me for who I am and asked me to believe him. He noticed that I had been distancing myself from him lately, which I did cause I can't understand why he still wants to be with me, when I am like this. He asked me to just trust him and told me that I have his full support.
I am so lucky to have him in my life. I feel like I should be really happy. But somehow I can't. On the outside my life is really good. But on the inside it's hell. It's like I'm trapped in a glass cage. I can see how beautiful my life could be outside the cage, I'm so close to it but it's out of reach. Inside the glass cage I am trapped in a hell of isolation, emptiness, fear and pain. Now I just need to find a way out.
Sorry for still being a downer. I hope next week will get better.
His reaction was so lovely though, he said he loves me for who I am and asked me to believe him. He noticed that I had been distancing myself from him lately, which I did cause I can't understand why he still wants to be with me, when I am like this. He asked me to just trust him and told me that I have his full support.
I am so lucky to have him in my life. I feel like I should be really happy. But somehow I can't. On the outside my life is really good. But on the inside it's hell. It's like I'm trapped in a glass cage. I can see how beautiful my life could be outside the cage, I'm so close to it but it's out of reach. Inside the glass cage I am trapped in a hell of isolation, emptiness, fear and pain. Now I just need to find a way out.
Sorry for still being a downer. I hope next week will get better.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Good to hear you both didn't pick up Kimmy and LLG!
Rainy, the recipe thread is here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html
Hello Steely, Poppy, Phoenix, Dee, Solly, tnek, Abriella, Badge and all the others! Have a good start to the new week everyone!
Rainy, the recipe thread is here
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-8-a.html
Hello Steely, Poppy, Phoenix, Dee, Solly, tnek, Abriella, Badge and all the others! Have a good start to the new week everyone!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
Good morning my friends.
Slept for 8 hours last night, plus the tumour has disappeared from my leg
. I think it was a tealeaf or something. Fair dinkum!
I guess I had to put my anxiety somewhere, and 'real' physical symptoms and signs more easily understood and addressed, than than processing of the mess going on in my head. I have to let go. Plan!
I feel trapped in the glass cage too kevlar. It's like a gaol with the door open and I won't walk out, and there are cobwebs in every corner. Air guitar Phoenix - "Ive got to break free."
Fear is the only word I can find, and I guess that's pretty normal given the fear I have felt throughout my life with both childhood and the 'events' (it was not my fault, and I know that now) that ensued. I think every single developmental stage in my life was screwed somehow. Think I've said that before, but nay mind. Immobilised with fear.
I don't read all that much psych literature anymore, but was thinking that I saw a shift some time back about it not being all that helpful to keep remembering and rehashing. A shift towards being in the now. I find that really hard, and my anxiety peaks. Give it time, yes? Gotta go through these painful emotions as you say, Phoenix.
Don't think it was intended to mean NOT remembering, but the focus more directed to the present, and that requires a plan. Steely and her plans, ha! How can I rebuild myself if I'm not putting down the foundations? My house will be made of straw and I will remain that frightened child with no self esteem or confidence that has been 'with' me for as long as I can remember, despite the bravado.
How can I have confidence without doing the things that inspire confidence and esteem? I don't want to remain trapped in an open gaol when the key is at hand. Gotta get out the bricks and mortar. I must have a fair dinkum plan.
So good you talked with your boyfriend kevlar. I smiled when I saw, "I told him how I really feel." That's absolute progress. Taking it from here, to the real world. Guess that's what it's all about, and am grateful to you all for not judging my ramblings while I take it to the real world too.
Glad you enjoyed Miss Saigon tnek. Different life experiences go to produce different 'alcoholics'. I'm one that wanted to be loved and nurtured as a child but it didn't happen. I set out on a path of self destruction because it really was all my fault. Not!
My love to all, and really hope that the telling of my story has not put people off. This really does concern me. I don't want to be a downer.
Star Gazing with Prof. Brian Cox and Julia Zamero is on TV next week and I'm really hanging for it. Into the Universe. Like to close on a positive note and the Universe always brings it into perspective. Yikes, perspective and the Universe.
Slept for 8 hours last night, plus the tumour has disappeared from my leg
. I think it was a tealeaf or something. Fair dinkum! I guess I had to put my anxiety somewhere, and 'real' physical symptoms and signs more easily understood and addressed, than than processing of the mess going on in my head. I have to let go. Plan!
I feel trapped in the glass cage too kevlar. It's like a gaol with the door open and I won't walk out, and there are cobwebs in every corner. Air guitar Phoenix - "Ive got to break free."
Fear is the only word I can find, and I guess that's pretty normal given the fear I have felt throughout my life with both childhood and the 'events' (it was not my fault, and I know that now) that ensued. I think every single developmental stage in my life was screwed somehow. Think I've said that before, but nay mind. Immobilised with fear.
I don't read all that much psych literature anymore, but was thinking that I saw a shift some time back about it not being all that helpful to keep remembering and rehashing. A shift towards being in the now. I find that really hard, and my anxiety peaks. Give it time, yes? Gotta go through these painful emotions as you say, Phoenix.
Don't think it was intended to mean NOT remembering, but the focus more directed to the present, and that requires a plan. Steely and her plans, ha! How can I rebuild myself if I'm not putting down the foundations? My house will be made of straw and I will remain that frightened child with no self esteem or confidence that has been 'with' me for as long as I can remember, despite the bravado.
How can I have confidence without doing the things that inspire confidence and esteem? I don't want to remain trapped in an open gaol when the key is at hand. Gotta get out the bricks and mortar. I must have a fair dinkum plan.
So good you talked with your boyfriend kevlar. I smiled when I saw, "I told him how I really feel." That's absolute progress. Taking it from here, to the real world. Guess that's what it's all about, and am grateful to you all for not judging my ramblings while I take it to the real world too.
Glad you enjoyed Miss Saigon tnek. Different life experiences go to produce different 'alcoholics'. I'm one that wanted to be loved and nurtured as a child but it didn't happen. I set out on a path of self destruction because it really was all my fault. Not!
My love to all, and really hope that the telling of my story has not put people off. This really does concern me. I don't want to be a downer.
Star Gazing with Prof. Brian Cox and Julia Zamero is on TV next week and I'm really hanging for it. Into the Universe. Like to close on a positive note and the Universe always brings it into perspective. Yikes, perspective and the Universe.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
Hi Kimmy and LiveLikeGold.
Wanted to say that in setting down some reasonable boundaries I was not abandoning my brother or my friend, and which is how it felt to me. I just knew I needed some time out, and had to take it, otherwise I would finish up worse than them both. And I nearly did.
Wanted to say that in setting down some reasonable boundaries I was not abandoning my brother or my friend, and which is how it felt to me. I just knew I needed some time out, and had to take it, otherwise I would finish up worse than them both. And I nearly did.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Morning all
Great post Steely, the gaol analogy is bloody awesome.
Off topic here, but QLD (north) is about to be hit with a pretty heavy gauge cyclone (hurricanes for the Americans here) which is concerning. We have family and friends up North so I am watching the coverage like a person obsessed. Is that morbid?
Great post Steely, the gaol analogy is bloody awesome.
Off topic here, but QLD (north) is about to be hit with a pretty heavy gauge cyclone (hurricanes for the Americans here) which is concerning. We have family and friends up North so I am watching the coverage like a person obsessed. Is that morbid?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
No it's not morbid Poppy, I'm concerned about it too. Category 4 is big weather. I hope all your friends stay safe, and that all in its path evacuate as advised. The wind is picking up now.
Good to see you Poppy..
Good to see you Poppy.
.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Queensland
Posts: 568
Thanks Steely, haven't been on here as much as usual.... not sure why. I am aware it could be that I am becoming complacent a wee bit. Rarely do I think about drinking these days, certainly haven't had a craving for awhile now.
I have never gone this long without alcohol in decades and it sort of worries me that I seem to be handling it very well.
I gotta worry about lots of things at one time, seems to be my personality lol.
I have never gone this long without alcohol in decades and it sort of worries me that I seem to be handling it very well.
I gotta worry about lots of things at one time, seems to be my personality lol.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,457
I hope it ends up as lot less than the media is making it up to be Poppy.
I had a period where I had to force myself to stay committed to recovery...round about 4 months or so too...I'm glad I did that cos I couldn't afford another relapse, I don't reckon.
D
I had a period where I had to force myself to stay committed to recovery...round about 4 months or so too...I'm glad I did that cos I couldn't afford another relapse, I don't reckon.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
I've felt the need to pull away sometimes too Poppy, and don't think it entirely unhealthy or looking to relapse, necessarily.
I found that sometimes all I needed/wanted was space. And I reckon that's OK.
I want Nobenders to understand that space is sometimes necessary to my recovery, and that we support each other in real time space as well, and that it will not interfere with our online relationship one bit.
All of us want sobriety, I know, and you guys help me so much, besides, I'm hanging in to see what happens in the end.
Nobenders are spacey
Poppy
"It takes a worried man to sing a worried song. I'm worried now, but I won't be worried long." - American folk song.
I found that sometimes all I needed/wanted was space. And I reckon that's OK.
I want Nobenders to understand that space is sometimes necessary to my recovery, and that we support each other in real time space as well, and that it will not interfere with our online relationship one bit.
All of us want sobriety, I know, and you guys help me so much, besides, I'm hanging in to see what happens in the end.
Nobenders are spacey
Poppy
"It takes a worried man to sing a worried song. I'm worried now, but I won't be worried long." - American folk song.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,599
I hope that thing peters out too Dee, but it does sound fair dinkum. Wait and see I guess, but they have to be absolutely vigilant because of loss of life in fires etc., when solid warnings were not broadcast. It's not an accurate science, so do hope it drops.
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