PhoenixJ

posting

PhoenixJ

joandmel

joandmelandhan

I'm up and showered......this will be one hellish day but I'm committing here and will check in when I can. Thank you for your support xxx

Simplicity4114

Hey All! Another work day down Things are still going well and my gal pal has just "resurfaced" again. Our contact has been somewhat sporadic, especially over the last month or so. It's been bringing me down to some extent but it is what it is. I'm sure somewhere down the way she'll eventually want to talk to someone besides her boyfriend-lol. Heck, even when we do talk she's talking about him. She's over the moon for this guy....ahhhhh new love.....nothing quite like it
Jo- Keep on muscling through girl! You can do this, I know you can! How was your day?
A big hello to everyone else!

joandmelandhan

Hi Sim. It's so nice being back and catching up. I've had a dreadful day to be honest but I didn't drink and I'm now in bed. Hopefully I'll get some sleep but if I don't then so be it.......goodnight everyone xxx

Simplicity4114

I'm glad you're back We've missed you! Keep on keeping on friend, everyday will get a little better. I hope you were able to get some good sleep. Keep on posting and let us know how you're doing.....we're all here for you and each other

Speaking of which.....how you doing Toot?

joandmelandhan

Hi again all. I'm still absolutely dreadful today. No better at all yet and I'm working myself up with panic. God this does get progressively worse.......praying it eases soon so I can begin to feel human again. Love to you all xxx

Caramel

These dreary hours will pass eventually, joandmelandhan.
Do you need to see a doctor. do you think?
Hoping you feel better soon and have continual progress and brighter days ahead xx

joandmelandhan

I'm too frightened to see a doc. Stupid I know but I'll ride it out see how tonight goes xxx

Simplicity4114

Happy Friday Everyone! Can't wait for the weekend to begin!

Jo- How you feeling today? I hope its improved some....

joandmelandhan

Hi Sim. You sound nice and happy it's great to see. I still don't feel great at all but I'm riding it through......just staying rested and hydrated. Have a good weekend all xxx

Dee74

I'm glad you're feeling at least a little better joandmelandhan
D

tootiesdad

Tugging along, thank you ma'am
It helps me to come here and...read. I think I'm at that point where the av is telling me 'See, you can stop when you want...' When that happens I think back to what got me to the point of self-realization and the feeling I had at that moment...physically and mentally.
I've got a dishwasher to install at some point this weekend. Fun stuff!
I hope y'all have a wonderful weekend

Simplicity4114

Ahhh the ole AV and it's bright ideas...my AV comes up with some doozies too. Moderation, what could 1 beer hurt after so long....I mean is it really that bad? I've gone nearly a year with only one night of drinking. But the truth is....yeah 1 beer would hurt because 1 would become 2, and then 3, and 3 would become vodka. I know me. Somewhere along the line, I crossed an invisible line with alcohol. I went from an occasional "normal" drinker to an alcoholic. Those night sweats that I thought was early menopause-alcohol. That shaking in the morning-alcohol. Dying of thirst in the middle of the night-alcohol. Daily headaches that I thought were hereditary-alcohol. 3 Cavities in 8 years-combo of sugary alcohol and passing out prior to brushing my teeth. Feelings of misunderstanding/isolation/depression-alcohol. Alcohol, alcohol, alcohol.
Would it be nice to have a beer over dinner with friends? You betcha. Is it worth risking going back to my previous existence or worse. Not a chance.
I've accepted the fact that once that line is crossed, there's no going back to "normal" anymore. And I'm good with it. Alcohol didn't add to my life, it took away.....it robbed me of living. It's all I did outside of work. My whole life revolved around alcohol. I would actually rotate and go to 3 different liquor stores. That way it would look like I was only going through that amount of alcohol monthly rather than weekly. I've often wondered what my recycling guy thought when he'd come to empty the overflowing bin every week
Just keep reminding yourself of why you're doing this. Of how bad it was in the past and how you wanted sobriety, knew you needed to hang it up, and craved freedom more than anything. And then be grateful. Grateful that you're sober, grateful that you didn't surrender all the incredible things or lose all the incredible people in your life to the bottle. Some do. Keep on keeping on friend! You're doing an amazing job!
Best of luck installing the dishwasher! I expect updates

Caramel

Great post, Simplicity

Simplicity4114

Hey Jo! I am happy these days The new jobs going well and I feel good and at peace with my life. It's been a longggg time coming, so I'm kinda savoring it. Keep hanging in there, keep posting, and keep taking extra good care of yourself

Simplicity4114

Happy Saturday! Guess it's about that time to quit smoking....I promised myself I would see 40 addiction free soooo planning ahead, I've decided to quit on 4/29....my original sober date. I'm going cold turkey basically because I don't see a point in drawing out the nicotine addiction and although I've had past success with Chantix......I can't deal with the side effects. I'm basically posting to hold myself accountable.
As far as today goes.....housecleaning it is and then watching baby girl for a couple of hours this evening while her parents sneak in a date night before welcoming the newest addition to their fam.
Wishing y'all a great weekend!
How's the dishwasher installation going toot?
How you feeling today jo?

Dee74

great post sim - good luck with the no smoking

D

Simplicity4114

Happy Sunday!

Simplicity4114

Ok, quit smoking update....I'm out of smokes, so I'm just quitting now Combo of not wanting to drive to the store out of laziness and knowing it's not going to be any harder or easier this coming Saturday than it is today......so today it is.