Class of May 2016 Support Thread Part 9
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Ok, I need feedback. I just bailed on the concert tonight. I can't do it, I just can't. Just the thought of plastering a smile on my face for hours and making idle chit chat while everyone is drinking is stressing me out. I'm so tired of having to feel like I need to "act" to make everyone else feel at ease.
So is this a good thing or a bad thing?
On the one hand, I've hit the point of saying, me first.
On the other hand, I wonder if I'm slipping deeper into depression and isolating myself. I bailed on a hockey game last weekend.....same reason. Couldn't care less about going to a hockey game. Beer always got me through. Sans beer, I'd be dwelling on how cold it is in the arena and being annoyed by all the obnoxious horns and yelling and fighting on the rink. ugh.
Not sure which is which. Is this a "yay, you're finally acknowledging your feelings and putting yourself first moment" or is this a retreating from life slipping deeper into depression and you should force yourself to go and get out there moment?....just feel like I can't keep up the charade any longer. Bad enough I have to do it all week long at work let alone feel like I have to keep it up on my downtime. Feedback welcomed & appreciated
So is this a good thing or a bad thing?
On the one hand, I've hit the point of saying, me first.
On the other hand, I wonder if I'm slipping deeper into depression and isolating myself. I bailed on a hockey game last weekend.....same reason. Couldn't care less about going to a hockey game. Beer always got me through. Sans beer, I'd be dwelling on how cold it is in the arena and being annoyed by all the obnoxious horns and yelling and fighting on the rink. ugh.
Not sure which is which. Is this a "yay, you're finally acknowledging your feelings and putting yourself first moment" or is this a retreating from life slipping deeper into depression and you should force yourself to go and get out there moment?....just feel like I can't keep up the charade any longer. Bad enough I have to do it all week long at work let alone feel like I have to keep it up on my downtime. Feedback welcomed & appreciated
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,647
Simp- looking after yourself first in recovery- actually all the time is priority. If you do not feel comfortable- do not do it. Isolating to me is when a person stays in bed all day and makes no effort to connect with anything. You obviously not doing that because you are here.
It is good you avoid triggers for drinking. That is sensible and brave. You are discovering the real you. Brave you, brave all of us. It takes time. Give your self that. If you are worried about depression or anxiety- talk to your doc. I go every few months- having a diagnosis of major depression, just to keep myself in check. You are doing okay as far as you write it. Addiction sucks- you do not.
My support to you.
Keep posting. PJ
It is good you avoid triggers for drinking. That is sensible and brave. You are discovering the real you. Brave you, brave all of us. It takes time. Give your self that. If you are worried about depression or anxiety- talk to your doc. I go every few months- having a diagnosis of major depression, just to keep myself in check. You are doing okay as far as you write it. Addiction sucks- you do not.
My support to you.
Keep posting. PJ
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 168
I wouldn't feel bad at all for bailing on the concert and hockey game Sim. And I agree with the Phoenix… If it was depression you would be in bed shutting yourself out from the outside world. That doesn't sound like the case. It sounds like you are, in a sense,re-discovering a part of yourself that doesn't involve alcohol. That's awesome, even empowering, imho, that you are putting yourself first.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Oak Creek, WI
Posts: 517
Sim-
I wouldn't feel bad one bit for not wanting to or going to the concert... "Don’t let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself. " Good on you for doing what you think is right sista!
Happy Saturday to all! Wow-- weather here today was incredibly gorgeous! Got out and did some shopping and found some fun thrift stores in random towns. Love that stuff. Now to settle in after all that fresh air and relax!
Sounds exciting-- but hey, it is what it is! Hope you all had a great day!
Love,
Camery
I wouldn't feel bad one bit for not wanting to or going to the concert... "Don’t let others define you or make decisions for you that you should make for yourself. " Good on you for doing what you think is right sista!
Happy Saturday to all! Wow-- weather here today was incredibly gorgeous! Got out and did some shopping and found some fun thrift stores in random towns. Love that stuff. Now to settle in after all that fresh air and relax!
Sounds exciting-- but hey, it is what it is! Hope you all had a great day!
Love,
Camery
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Good morning folks & Happy Sunday!
Thanks all for the feedback I've changed in many ways since going sober....most of them for the better, but I don't go out as much, don't hear from my "friends" as much. It seems like whatever activity is going down, drinking is as much apart of it as the activity itself. I usually suck it up, go. These days I'm usually considered the group's built in designated driver.......it gets old. Same ole scene.
I'm feeling concerned about the hubs. He's under a lot of pressure at work these days and I've noticed he's begun drinking daily. Mostly beer. Nothing too over the top, but it's a change that has me a little worried. I haven't mentioned it. He seems more disconnected, more distant somehow. When I was explaining why I didn't feel up to going to the concert he interrupted me and said, "I didn't need to explain myself to him" and he walked away from me. I know he's annoyed. I also know he drank too much to be driving last night. I could smell the alcohol on him. When I told him that I was worried about the fact that he drove he basically said.....he's "continuing on with being him" whether I choose to join in or not. My spidey-sense tells me troubles a brewing
Not much on tap for today. Going to try my hand at crocheting.....God I feel like an old fuddy duddy
Thanks all for the feedback
I've changed in many ways since going sober....most of them for the better, but I don't go out as much, don't hear from my "friends" as much. It seems like whatever activity is going down, drinking is as much apart of it as the activity itself. I usually suck it up, go. These days I'm usually considered the group's built in designated driver.......it gets old. Same ole scene. I'm feeling concerned about the hubs. He's under a lot of pressure at work these days and I've noticed he's begun drinking daily. Mostly beer. Nothing too over the top, but it's a change that has me a little worried. I haven't mentioned it. He seems more disconnected, more distant somehow. When I was explaining why I didn't feel up to going to the concert he interrupted me and said, "I didn't need to explain myself to him" and he walked away from me. I know he's annoyed. I also know he drank too much to be driving last night. I could smell the alcohol on him. When I told him that I was worried about the fact that he drove he basically said.....he's "continuing on with being him" whether I choose to join in or not. My spidey-sense tells me troubles a brewing
Not much on tap for today. Going to try my hand at crocheting.....God I feel like an old fuddy duddy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 168
Hey Sim, I understand where you're coming from. Completely. Everyone is different, but I imagine that your husband is getting used to the new you just as you are as well. from my limited perspective, it seems like you were kicking butt 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Happy Monday All As it would turn out, crocheting is tougher than looks-lol!
How those lil ole ladies do it while they watch TV is beyond me! I'd crochet a row, skip a loop, tear apart a row, repeat. I have loose stiches, tight stiches, somewhere in between stiches. I should've paid closer attention when my grandmother was trying to teach me as a child.....but being a bit of a tom-boy, I was far more interested finding a tree to climb or joining in a neighborhood kick ball game. It did occupy my mind though and beings that I am a grandmother, I shall stick with it. Figure by this time next year I could complete a hideous, Dr. Seuss-ish looking creation that I shall display with pride
Had a decent talk with the hubs yesterday. He readily acknowledges he's been drinking more frequently as of late. He mainly attributes it to the stress at work. Not sure if he's planning on cutting back or not....
He did agree however, that overall my sobriety has been good for our marriage but we as a couple haven't adjusted our activities together accordingly to support a healthy sober marriage. So we're going to work harder to do just that. Today after I'm done working (he actually has off today!) we're going to head out to the local wild life sanctuary and spot some snow geese on their migration north. If I ever learn how to post pics here, I shall share....it's quite the sight!
Wishing y'all a great day
As it would turn out, crocheting is tougher than looks-lol!How those lil ole ladies do it while they watch TV is beyond me! I'd crochet a row, skip a loop, tear apart a row, repeat. I have loose stiches, tight stiches, somewhere in between stiches. I should've paid closer attention when my grandmother was trying to teach me as a child.....but being a bit of a tom-boy, I was far more interested finding a tree to climb or joining in a neighborhood kick ball game. It did occupy my mind though and beings that I am a grandmother, I shall stick with it. Figure by this time next year I could complete a hideous, Dr. Seuss-ish looking creation that I shall display with pride
Had a decent talk with the hubs yesterday. He readily acknowledges he's been drinking more frequently as of late. He mainly attributes it to the stress at work. Not sure if he's planning on cutting back or not....
He did agree however, that overall my sobriety has been good for our marriage but we as a couple haven't adjusted our activities together accordingly to support a healthy sober marriage. So we're going to work harder to do just that. Today after I'm done working (he actually has off today!) we're going to head out to the local wild life sanctuary and spot some snow geese on their migration north.
If I ever learn how to post pics here, I shall share....it's quite the sight!Wishing y'all a great day
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: West Wales
Posts: 1,630
Hi everyone, i'm trying to catch up on your posts but it's a lot to read.
Sim, I hear you about bailing out. I'm the same, for me I think it's got to do with age, the older I get the less I worry about other people's opinion of me. In a friendly way. It's my life and my happiness. It's a learning curve for me...
Sometimes I wish we could all sit around a table face to face and talk...
Take care everyone, lots of love, good night from Wales x
Sim, I hear you about bailing out. I'm the same, for me I think it's got to do with age, the older I get the less I worry about other people's opinion of me. In a friendly way. It's my life and my happiness. It's a learning curve for me...
Sometimes I wish we could all sit around a table face to face and talk...
Take care everyone, lots of love, good night from Wales x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Tuesday check-in Hubs and I had an amazing time spotting the snow geese yesterday. At last count, they numbered around 70,000! They make an appearance annually in these parts....we just happen to be along their migratory path. It was packed and we saw lots of out of state tags....so I guess our little local secret is out. Scored some awesome pics that I don't know how to upload 
May be a "offline" this week for a clip. Work is a little out of hand these days and Wed. & Thurs will pretty much suck. So more than likely it will be work and bed.
Elke- It would be great if we could all get together and talk! Anyone interested in a 10 year international May Class reunion-lol! You'll have to let me know if you ever come Stateside as I would truly love to meet you in person That goes for all the other Mayflies too.....if you're ever in the Philly area, let me know! And I will let y'all know if I ever make it to your neck of the woods.....Now to just get over that nasty fear of flying I have Think it's the whole being strapped into a metal missile that seems too heavy to defy gravity while doing 700 miles an hour at 37,000 ft. that really gets me. Oh and the fact that somehow my seat is supposed to double as a floatation device......not much confidence in that being a significant help if I somehow manage to survive impact. And I won't be needing the O2 mask....I will want to pass out prior to dying. I've flown 3 times in my life. What a @#$% show. I'm a freak I tell ya.
Hubs and I had an amazing time spotting the snow geese yesterday. At last count, they numbered around 70,000! They make an appearance annually in these parts....we just happen to be along their migratory path. It was packed and we saw lots of out of state tags....so I guess our little local secret is out. Scored some awesome pics that I don't know how to upload May be a "offline" this week for a clip. Work is a little out of hand these days and Wed. & Thurs will pretty much suck. So more than likely it will be work and bed.
Elke- It would be great if we could all get together and talk! Anyone interested in a 10 year international May Class reunion-lol! You'll have to let me know if you ever come Stateside as I would truly love to meet you in person
That goes for all the other Mayflies too.....if you're ever in the Philly area, let me know! And I will let y'all know if I ever make it to your neck of the woods.....Now to just get over that nasty fear of flying I have Think it's the whole being strapped into a metal missile that seems too heavy to defy gravity while doing 700 miles an hour at 37,000 ft. that really gets me. Oh and the fact that somehow my seat is supposed to double as a floatation device......not much confidence in that being a significant help if I somehow manage to survive impact. And I won't be needing the O2 mask....I will want to pass out prior to dying. I've flown 3 times in my life. What a @#$% show. I'm a freak I tell ya.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: West Wales
Posts: 1,630
No, you're not a freak Sim, you're a lovely lady with a great sense of humor. I'm the same about flying, never used to but now I try to avoid it. But you never know... It would be great lovely to meet you.
Watching the snow geese must be beautiful, I'll see if I can find it online... if you ever manage to upload pics here please let me kow cos I can't do it either
Hello tootiesdad, it must be your evening now, so I'll say Good Evening to you, I hope you had a good and sober day.
everyone else...
Watching the snow geese must be beautiful, I'll see if I can find it online... if you ever manage to upload pics here please let me kow cos I can't do it either
Hello tootiesdad, it must be your evening now, so I'll say Good Evening to you, I hope you had a good and sober day.
everyone else...
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Oak Creek, WI
Posts: 517
Happy Wednesday all!
UGH-- taking a business analytic class today and tomorrow, and so out of my element. I hate that! But it is good training, and I am glad I got to go.
My brain actually hurts.
Glad to hear you are all doing well! One more day left and then snow for the weekend, guess our 65 degree weather WAS short lived after all!
All my best--- XOXO
Camery
UGH-- taking a business analytic class today and tomorrow, and so out of my element. I hate that! But it is good training, and I am glad I got to go.
My brain actually hurts.
Glad to hear you are all doing well! One more day left and then snow for the weekend, guess our 65 degree weather WAS short lived after all!
All my best--- XOXO
Camery
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 973
Happy Thursday Mayflies! It's early o'clock here. Starting work at the butt crack of dawn The beauty of this 12 and a half hour work day is that I'm done for the week after today! Of course I'll probably be dragging butt tomorrow and I'm thinking tonight's counseling session will be a wash, but hey, I can sleep in tomorrow and enjoy a 3 day weekend! Now to just get through work....
Camery- I had a "grown-up" up job a couple of years ago. The meetings were brutal; long winded and full of information that I would need to retain to do my job competently. Coffee, lots and lots of coffee. My brain hurts just recalling it but the experience has padded my resume nicely and I'm sure it will do the same for you! You got this girl As far as the weather is concerned, I certainly hope you're not sending it our way! We too have been enjoying 60 degree weather in Feb. I know I should be concerned about global warming....yada...yada...yada...but I'm just happy for a little bit of warmth and sunshine!
Elke-I will try to post a link to the local wildlife management webpage. I'm sure their pics will be much better than mine anyway.....now just have to figure out how to copy and post a link
A big how-de-do to PJ, Toot, Dee, and everyone else. Our numbers seem to be dwindling these days....I like to believe this is a good sign, people off living the sober lives they've built for themselves!
Today is 93 days sober for me.
The beauty of this 12 and a half hour work day is that I'm done for the week after today! Of course I'll probably be dragging butt tomorrow and I'm thinking tonight's counseling session will be a wash, but hey, I can sleep in tomorrow and enjoy a 3 day weekend! Now to just get through work....Camery- I had a "grown-up" up job a couple of years ago. The meetings were brutal; long winded and full of information that I would need to retain to do my job competently. Coffee, lots and lots of coffee. My brain hurts just recalling it but the experience has padded my resume nicely and I'm sure it will do the same for you! You got this girl
As far as the weather is concerned, I certainly hope you're not sending it our way! We too have been enjoying 60 degree weather in Feb. I know I should be concerned about global warming....yada...yada...yada...but I'm just happy for a little bit of warmth and sunshine! Elke-I will try to post a link to the local wildlife management webpage. I'm sure their pics will be much better than mine anyway.....now just have to figure out how to copy and post a link
A big how-de-do to PJ, Toot, Dee, and everyone else. Our numbers seem to be dwindling these days....I like to believe this is a good sign, people off living the sober lives they've built for themselves!
Today is 93 days sober for me.
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