Class of October 2015 Part 5
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
I been struggling and caved in, yes I know again, hence I haven't been here. Got some news re mum again and I know the situation with her is clearly one of my triggers. I need to fly back home again. I got leave approved end of March so back I go again. My head is so full of mixed emotions and I feel so sad about my mums situation. I need to be stronger and more focused. Why cant I, I ask myself. I need to pull myself up. Somehow I don't let myself be happy and content as I know that on the other side of the world my mum is slowly wilting away. I don't think it is fair for me to be happy and content with my life. I know it is not right. God this is hard.
My Day 1 seriously will have to be now...Going for a walk..
Juno..I take a sedative when I fly. It helps me as otherwise I start thinking of all these crashes/bombs/suicide pilots etc. It helps me. However, after a couple of hours flying I just settle in my seat and sleep. I say to myself, hey the pilot wants to get home too!.
My Day 1 seriously will have to be now...Going for a walk..
Juno..I take a sedative when I fly. It helps me as otherwise I start thinking of all these crashes/bombs/suicide pilots etc. It helps me. However, after a couple of hours flying I just settle in my seat and sleep. I say to myself, hey the pilot wants to get home too!.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Back from my walk. It was good to get back into it. since I got back from my trip I got a chest and throat infection and was on 2 various antibiotics. Today was the first time that I enjoyed my walk and listening to music again. I guess I am slowly getting back to my normal self. I just need to keep that demon away. Why is it so hard? I know I can be sober I have proven that to myself before. Am I looking for escapism due to what I am going through in my personal life? I am not physically dependant on booze at all. Its a head thing.
Ok I will try my best.
Grizz. I am so happy for you!!! Well done.
As I said we made the last payment on our place this week and it was a great feeling.
Lots of good things are happening for me this year. House paid off and in November I have been with my employer for 10 years. In Australia that means that an employee is entitled to 12 weeks extra paid leave, we call it long service leave. That is 3 months. My employer is not compassionate about my mums situation unfortunately, it is actually border lining bullying and I have discussed this with HR. I have said that if I need to go back home due to my mother I will go no matter what. I am now using my last annual leave for my trip in March. I am hoping that my mother will be able to make it to November then it will be easy to have leave approved as my long service leave kicks in. If something happens between April and October I do not know what I have to do. My employer does not want to grant no pay leave, even in my circumstance!!!!. It is actually quite horrible how they are treating me to be honest. The last thing I should/need to worry about currently is about my job...
Enough of that I do not want to bore you with my rant.
Having that drink takes the pain away and makes me feel so much better. I will do my best to stay sober today and make this Day 1....
Normally I would have a drink by now and it is only 9.30am..Today I haven't,, I have a curry on the stove and the washing machine is going on full speed..I just need to busy myself and be strong. I hope I will last the day...
Have a good weekend all xx
Ok I will try my best.
Grizz. I am so happy for you!!! Well done.
As I said we made the last payment on our place this week and it was a great feeling.
Lots of good things are happening for me this year. House paid off and in November I have been with my employer for 10 years. In Australia that means that an employee is entitled to 12 weeks extra paid leave, we call it long service leave. That is 3 months. My employer is not compassionate about my mums situation unfortunately, it is actually border lining bullying and I have discussed this with HR. I have said that if I need to go back home due to my mother I will go no matter what. I am now using my last annual leave for my trip in March. I am hoping that my mother will be able to make it to November then it will be easy to have leave approved as my long service leave kicks in. If something happens between April and October I do not know what I have to do. My employer does not want to grant no pay leave, even in my circumstance!!!!. It is actually quite horrible how they are treating me to be honest. The last thing I should/need to worry about currently is about my job...
Enough of that I do not want to bore you with my rant.
Having that drink takes the pain away and makes me feel so much better. I will do my best to stay sober today and make this Day 1....
Normally I would have a drink by now and it is only 9.30am..Today I haven't,, I have a curry on the stove and the washing machine is going on full speed..I just need to busy myself and be strong. I hope I will last the day...
Have a good weekend all xx
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
I'm just checking in real quick too. I am so tired. I'm glad to see the posts today! Juno and sydneyman, good to hear from you : ) Winslow, great job on not giving in to those thoughts of drinking! I know what you mean. It was 75 degrees here too and my mind associated that with drinking by a pool. I was like ok, what that really means is passing out by a pool because all it would do for me is make me sleepy. That's not fun.
Hi, Midton!
Thank you, sydneyman, for the congrats on the house : ) Paying your last mortgage note is awesome!! Good for you!! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't even imagine how hard that is. We're here for you.
Hi, Midton!
Thank you, sydneyman, for the congrats on the house : ) Paying your last mortgage note is awesome!! Good for you!! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can't even imagine how hard that is. We're here for you.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hi all,
Will try to keep this as short as possible as I have to do a ton of stuff today!
- Hit rock bottom this week. It's not rock bottom in a traditional sense, but my own version of rock bottom.
-- My Mom (whom I am very close with) was diagnosed with Parkinson's
-- My 17 year old daughter has been sick and I spent a lot of the week in medical appointments for her (no real figuring out what's wrong with her yet)
-- Her boyfriend and only source of strength was threatening to break up with her and just about did last night (not sure where that stands)
-- Bitter cold temperatures; February is like the low point of the year for me.
-- "Time of the month" this week and I had excruciating headaches on Tuesday and Wednesday that wouldn't go away with Advil or Advil Migraine.
As you can guess, I turned to wine on Wednesday night for relief. I didn't realize I was experiencing a "rock bottom" type feeling until the next day when it all hit me with how much I was dealing with. I went to the store and bought a bottle of red and then cooked a pasta dinner with the wine. I'm not a good cook so the meal was so-so and the wine didn't even taste that great. I drank 2 glasses and dumped the rest. It did get rid of my headache (at the time, it came back the next day of course) but left me with a night of nothingness. There is nothing I can do when I drink. I can't read my book because my mind is foggy and I can't concentrate. Ditto for my favorite TV shows, which I only enjoy when I'm sober. I couldn't go anywhere and didn't want to. I couldn't do drunk Facebook because I'm off of Facebook and besides I hate that. So I wrote a couple of emails (no evidence of drunkeness - I checked the next day) and even wrote an email to my ex-BF - a long silly one where I told him how much of a jerk he was to me - and then I didn't send it. PHEW! I sent it to myself and that was that. Went to bed.
Woke up in the middle of the night with a panic, because of the alcohol and some loopy dreams I was having. Took and Advil and went back to sleep, curled up in a ball and had more strange dreams. In the morning, functioned as usual but felt crappy. It was then I realized I had hit rock bottom and this was my Day 1 that's going to last. No one can do this but me. I have all the power in the world to stop drinking and no one else has any. It's all up to me. So I decided "Stop talking about it and just do it." That's where I am.
Day 3 today (new sobriety date in signature) and here's my plan for the day. Took my dog for a long walk already in this bitter cold. Had 2 layers on for pants and 4 on top and then a long down jacket and was still cold. Needed at least another layer everywhere.
Planning to work for a few hours before the kids wake up (they are teenagers) and then do some laundry and bills, take my son to his therapist appointment, get on the treadmill, journal and START SETTING UP MY SOBRIETY PLAN BINDER which is going to be more upbeat than stopping drinking - it's going to be a LIFE PLAN binder, a POSITIVE life plan binder that includes healthy eating and NO drinking. I'm very excited about this.
So just a little more:
Sydneyman, I hope you are able to stay not drinking. It really sucks and adds nothing enjoyable to life. Keep posting!!! I'm so sorry about your Mum. I can understand what you're feeling and am so attached to my parents so it's a devestating feeling. It sucks that your work isn't more understanding of the situation!!!
Winslow, you did great being strong about the craving/feeling. As for Valentine's Day, I bought some roses for the dining room table for the whole family (we need a little joy right now!) and set up some heart lights around the living room. I helped my son make Valentine's cards for his class yesterday (he's the one with autism so they still do stuff like that, which is cute). And I'm just going to enjoy the day!
Grizzly, I'm so excited about your house!! It sounds like you're doing great with your running and exercise and I'm so jealous! I will get there!
I'm also jealous of Sydneyman making his last mortgage payment! I still have 17 years on mine - each time I make a payment I say to myself, "Progress."
Have a wonderful weekend all - I will check in again!
Will try to keep this as short as possible as I have to do a ton of stuff today!
- Hit rock bottom this week. It's not rock bottom in a traditional sense, but my own version of rock bottom.
-- My Mom (whom I am very close with) was diagnosed with Parkinson's
-- My 17 year old daughter has been sick and I spent a lot of the week in medical appointments for her (no real figuring out what's wrong with her yet)
-- Her boyfriend and only source of strength was threatening to break up with her and just about did last night (not sure where that stands)
-- Bitter cold temperatures; February is like the low point of the year for me.
-- "Time of the month" this week and I had excruciating headaches on Tuesday and Wednesday that wouldn't go away with Advil or Advil Migraine.
As you can guess, I turned to wine on Wednesday night for relief. I didn't realize I was experiencing a "rock bottom" type feeling until the next day when it all hit me with how much I was dealing with. I went to the store and bought a bottle of red and then cooked a pasta dinner with the wine. I'm not a good cook so the meal was so-so and the wine didn't even taste that great. I drank 2 glasses and dumped the rest. It did get rid of my headache (at the time, it came back the next day of course) but left me with a night of nothingness. There is nothing I can do when I drink. I can't read my book because my mind is foggy and I can't concentrate. Ditto for my favorite TV shows, which I only enjoy when I'm sober. I couldn't go anywhere and didn't want to. I couldn't do drunk Facebook because I'm off of Facebook and besides I hate that. So I wrote a couple of emails (no evidence of drunkeness - I checked the next day) and even wrote an email to my ex-BF - a long silly one where I told him how much of a jerk he was to me - and then I didn't send it. PHEW! I sent it to myself and that was that. Went to bed.
Woke up in the middle of the night with a panic, because of the alcohol and some loopy dreams I was having. Took and Advil and went back to sleep, curled up in a ball and had more strange dreams. In the morning, functioned as usual but felt crappy. It was then I realized I had hit rock bottom and this was my Day 1 that's going to last. No one can do this but me. I have all the power in the world to stop drinking and no one else has any. It's all up to me. So I decided "Stop talking about it and just do it." That's where I am.
Day 3 today (new sobriety date in signature) and here's my plan for the day. Took my dog for a long walk already in this bitter cold. Had 2 layers on for pants and 4 on top and then a long down jacket and was still cold. Needed at least another layer everywhere.
Planning to work for a few hours before the kids wake up (they are teenagers) and then do some laundry and bills, take my son to his therapist appointment, get on the treadmill, journal and START SETTING UP MY SOBRIETY PLAN BINDER which is going to be more upbeat than stopping drinking - it's going to be a LIFE PLAN binder, a POSITIVE life plan binder that includes healthy eating and NO drinking. I'm very excited about this.
So just a little more:
Sydneyman, I hope you are able to stay not drinking. It really sucks and adds nothing enjoyable to life. Keep posting!!! I'm so sorry about your Mum. I can understand what you're feeling and am so attached to my parents so it's a devestating feeling. It sucks that your work isn't more understanding of the situation!!!
Winslow, you did great being strong about the craving/feeling. As for Valentine's Day, I bought some roses for the dining room table for the whole family (we need a little joy right now!) and set up some heart lights around the living room. I helped my son make Valentine's cards for his class yesterday (he's the one with autism so they still do stuff like that, which is cute). And I'm just going to enjoy the day!
Grizzly, I'm so excited about your house!! It sounds like you're doing great with your running and exercise and I'm so jealous! I will get there!
I'm also jealous of Sydneyman making his last mortgage payment! I still have 17 years on mine - each time I make a payment I say to myself, "Progress."
Have a wonderful weekend all - I will check in again!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 1,486
Hey all,Syndey,I think its b.s that your employer lacks compassion! Ajobs a job but family is life,I'm glad you're getting through without drinking now😊 I'm soooo glad I didn't give in to drinking, yesterday the thought never popped up once! If I had drank Thurs,I'd still be on a bender today,ridiculous, Grizz,I hear you on the passing out part,when I was tempted I looked at the clock and it was 3p.m I told myself if I drank then I'd be ready for bed at 6:30,wake up throughout the night,panicky needing another drink,that does NOT sound fun! Midton, hope you can check in today,Juno,you too,hope we all have a great Saturday😊
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Sydneyman, how did the rest of your day 1 go? I know you can do this. You had a good bit of time towards the end of last year, and remember it got easier after the initial "getting used to not drinking" phase? I know you can do this!!!
Exactly, Winslow! If I started drinking yesterday when I the thought crossed my mind, I would have drank the rest of the day. Then I would drink today to try to get rid of the hangover, and I would drink tomorrow for whatever reason or no reason at all. Instead, today I am going to do yardwork, and I can use power tools because I'm not drunk!
Juno, wow, that's a lot on your plate right now. I am so sorry to hear about the diagnosis with your mom. And I hope they can figure out quickly what is wrong with your daughter. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better, but I don't. I will continue to pray for your family, and I know it will mean so much that you are there for them. I guess with something like that, being there for them is all we can do. My mom is awaiting a test for alzheimer's/dementia, I asked her to do that. I've decided what I can do is stay sober so I'm clear headed, be responsible with daily decisions, and plan long term so that if/when she needs me I am there for her like she has been for me. I even made sure the house I decided on has room for mom in case there comes a time she needs to move in with us. She is not planning that far ahead, but I need to know that I have done everything I can to be there for her.
Exactly, Winslow! If I started drinking yesterday when I the thought crossed my mind, I would have drank the rest of the day. Then I would drink today to try to get rid of the hangover, and I would drink tomorrow for whatever reason or no reason at all. Instead, today I am going to do yardwork, and I can use power tools because I'm not drunk!
Juno, wow, that's a lot on your plate right now. I am so sorry to hear about the diagnosis with your mom. And I hope they can figure out quickly what is wrong with your daughter. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better, but I don't. I will continue to pray for your family, and I know it will mean so much that you are there for them. I guess with something like that, being there for them is all we can do. My mom is awaiting a test for alzheimer's/dementia, I asked her to do that. I've decided what I can do is stay sober so I'm clear headed, be responsible with daily decisions, and plan long term so that if/when she needs me I am there for her like she has been for me. I even made sure the house I decided on has room for mom in case there comes a time she needs to move in with us. She is not planning that far ahead, but I need to know that I have done everything I can to be there for her.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
I have some news that I am really excited about! My son was invited to the National Young Leaders Conference in Washington, DC this summer. He got an invite when he was in fourth grade, but that was a really bad year for me. I was meeting with his teacher drunk and robbing his piggy bank to get high. Trying to get him to DC was definitely not on my mind. When he got the invitation again last month, I was proud of him but thinking I couldn't afford to send him. My parents had offered to help my buy a house if I needed help, but I'm going to be able to do it on my own. So I got to thinking that instead of them helping me, let's all pitch in and get my kiddo to DC this year! Why not go for it now? I talked it over with them Thursday night, and they're in! It's going to happen. We're going to get him there : ) I'm so excited because he's so excited, and for me this is a shot at some redemption. It's been so wonderful to see over the last few months that even though I can't change what I've done in the past, I get a chance to make things right.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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That's so great, Grizzly! He's going to LOVE DC!! There's so much to do here especially for kids his age. So happy for you both!! I have lived in the metro DC area for the better part of the last 25 years and love it here 
My 12 year old goes on the coolest field trips to museums, etc. I can't wait to hear all about it!
I'll keep this quick because I'm off to yoga (Yeah! Finally!) My kids and I watched the movie "The Martian" last night. Was pretty good!!
My 12 year old goes on the coolest field trips to museums, etc. I can't wait to hear all about it!I'll keep this quick because I'm off to yoga (Yeah! Finally!) My kids and I watched the movie "The Martian" last night. Was pretty good!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Thank you, juno!! He does have some really cool fieldtrips planned on the itinerary. Washington, DC is going to be his classroom for six days. We're so excited! I hope you enjoyed your yoga! I had rented the Martian last weekend but fell asleep at the end and had to take it back before I got to finish it : ( I watched Sicario Friday night. I thought it was really good! Not a kids movie though.
Happy Valentine's Day, gang! This year is so much different than last year. Last year, I started drinking at two, then we went out to dinner and I kept drinking, and when we got home I went out to get more wine. I went to Walmart really drunk and ended up asking this complete stranger if he knew where to get weed. He said he did, so I had this guy I'd never met before in my car telling me where to drive, and he took me out to a mobile home park in the middle of nowhere. We get there and there are all these guys there, and of course I'm drinking more with them, and the guy that had been in my car starts kissing on me and then biting me! It was really disturbing. I made it home really drunk and kept drinking and had a terrible two day hangover after that. I woke up this morning remembering that feeling and it was almost nauseating. SO glad I'm not there anymore!!
Happy Valentine's Day, gang! This year is so much different than last year. Last year, I started drinking at two, then we went out to dinner and I kept drinking, and when we got home I went out to get more wine. I went to Walmart really drunk and ended up asking this complete stranger if he knew where to get weed. He said he did, so I had this guy I'd never met before in my car telling me where to drive, and he took me out to a mobile home park in the middle of nowhere. We get there and there are all these guys there, and of course I'm drinking more with them, and the guy that had been in my car starts kissing on me and then biting me! It was really disturbing. I made it home really drunk and kept drinking and had a terrible two day hangover after that. I woke up this morning remembering that feeling and it was almost nauseating. SO glad I'm not there anymore!!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hi all, just a couple of quick comments this morning.
It's President's Day, a holiday for the kids and it's snowing. I'm doing okay, working from home as much as I can and dealing with other stuff like phone calls, appointments, ordering pet meds, etc. I'm doing well, much better than last week. I have plans to exercise and get to meetings and do yoga as much as I can.
I had a lot of strange dreams last night including a drinking dream. It was very odd because in the dream I had a container of vodka (I never drank vodka in real life - I didn't like it) and it was obviously vodka because of the label on the bottle. I had it on a counter and was planning to mix it with some other drink and hide it from everyone and get buzzed. My Mom saw it and shook her head disapprovingly and made some comment about what a life I lead. I then proceeded to pour a glass of pure vodka and guzzle it down (it didn't taste bad in the dream like it does in real life) and then my head got dizzy. I woke myself up quickly after that because it was too upsetting. I even thought to myself, "I have to re-set my sobriety date again". Sooooooo glad it was just a dream!
Grizzly, that's a really disturbing story about last year's Valentine's day!! I think it's important that we remember the bad stuff that has happened because of drinking. I could come up with a horror story or two as well. The situations that we put ourselves in when we drink!!! Aren't you glad about this year's Valentines' Day???
Also, my son went on a school trip to Philadelphia last year (it was overnight for 2 nights). He had a GREAT time!! He loved the city and all the museums and history and things to do - the Liberty bell, Independence Hall and the Franklin Institute. There is no better way to enjoy a city and its offerings than an overnight trip with a great itinerary. I think your son will get a lot out of this trip!!!
One more thing: on Valentine's Day, my daughter ended up going to the movies with her boyfriend. I'm not sure where their relationship stands. But at least the day wasn't a total bust for this family - I'd hate to have her traumatized by a breakup on Valentine's Day or just before!!
Later, all!
It's President's Day, a holiday for the kids and it's snowing. I'm doing okay, working from home as much as I can and dealing with other stuff like phone calls, appointments, ordering pet meds, etc. I'm doing well, much better than last week. I have plans to exercise and get to meetings and do yoga as much as I can.
I had a lot of strange dreams last night including a drinking dream. It was very odd because in the dream I had a container of vodka (I never drank vodka in real life - I didn't like it) and it was obviously vodka because of the label on the bottle. I had it on a counter and was planning to mix it with some other drink and hide it from everyone and get buzzed. My Mom saw it and shook her head disapprovingly and made some comment about what a life I lead. I then proceeded to pour a glass of pure vodka and guzzle it down (it didn't taste bad in the dream like it does in real life) and then my head got dizzy. I woke myself up quickly after that because it was too upsetting. I even thought to myself, "I have to re-set my sobriety date again". Sooooooo glad it was just a dream!
Grizzly, that's a really disturbing story about last year's Valentine's day!! I think it's important that we remember the bad stuff that has happened because of drinking. I could come up with a horror story or two as well. The situations that we put ourselves in when we drink!!! Aren't you glad about this year's Valentines' Day???
Also, my son went on a school trip to Philadelphia last year (it was overnight for 2 nights). He had a GREAT time!! He loved the city and all the museums and history and things to do - the Liberty bell, Independence Hall and the Franklin Institute. There is no better way to enjoy a city and its offerings than an overnight trip with a great itinerary. I think your son will get a lot out of this trip!!!
One more thing: on Valentine's Day, my daughter ended up going to the movies with her boyfriend. I'm not sure where their relationship stands. But at least the day wasn't a total bust for this family - I'd hate to have her traumatized by a breakup on Valentine's Day or just before!!
Later, all!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Well, Midton and Sydneyman seem to be missing in action. I know Midton said he wasn't going to post for 7 weeks - sniff sniff 
I guess it's just us holding down the fort. I'm more committed than ever to not drinking. I've decided it would be helpful to think of it as an allergy to alcohol, because for me it sort of is. Just 1-2 drinks and I'm miserable the next day. That isn't good. So if that helps me, I will think of that the next time I'm in a situation where I could have a drink.
I forgot to mention that last week I got invited out to a movie with a girlfriend and some of her friends and then she said they were going out for drinks after the movie. I had so many reactions to this (of course, I said no). I could have gone for the movie and then gone home, but really, I can see movies by myself and almost prefer it. Besides, I have huge amounts of stuff going on with my kids and I can't get sitters for them anymore (they're too old) but they're not stable enough for me to just leave them for a night out on the town. Sigh... good thing I don't really like going out anymore!
But here's the way my friend's invitations struck me:
1. Really??? You still are able to go out for drinks? That was something I could do when I was young. Doesn't work for me anymore. People still do that?
2. Drinks at 9:00 pm??? Nope, I'd be ready for bed. When I drank these past several times I would start around 5:00 pm or not at all. Why start drinking at 9:00 pm?
3. Drink and drive? Nope. Besides, I preferred to drink alone in the past few years. Haha, that sounds really bad!
4. See a movie with others? I'm so used to seeing them alone that now I prefer it! I get to sit wherever I want, see the show that I want, and go home directly after.
I'm no longer any fun, but I don't care... maybe that's the good part of being over 50
I had a pretty good day to start, it seemed to get better as it went on, then went down hill this evening. I'm going to take an anti-anxiety pill and read or watch TV. I hope everyone's having a good day.
I guess it's just us holding down the fort. I'm more committed than ever to not drinking. I've decided it would be helpful to think of it as an allergy to alcohol, because for me it sort of is. Just 1-2 drinks and I'm miserable the next day. That isn't good. So if that helps me, I will think of that the next time I'm in a situation where I could have a drink.
I forgot to mention that last week I got invited out to a movie with a girlfriend and some of her friends and then she said they were going out for drinks after the movie. I had so many reactions to this (of course, I said no). I could have gone for the movie and then gone home, but really, I can see movies by myself and almost prefer it. Besides, I have huge amounts of stuff going on with my kids and I can't get sitters for them anymore (they're too old) but they're not stable enough for me to just leave them for a night out on the town. Sigh... good thing I don't really like going out anymore!
But here's the way my friend's invitations struck me:
1. Really??? You still are able to go out for drinks? That was something I could do when I was young. Doesn't work for me anymore. People still do that?
2. Drinks at 9:00 pm??? Nope, I'd be ready for bed. When I drank these past several times I would start around 5:00 pm or not at all. Why start drinking at 9:00 pm?
3. Drink and drive? Nope. Besides, I preferred to drink alone in the past few years. Haha, that sounds really bad!
4. See a movie with others? I'm so used to seeing them alone that now I prefer it! I get to sit wherever I want, see the show that I want, and go home directly after.
I'm no longer any fun, but I don't care... maybe that's the good part of being over 50
I had a pretty good day to start, it seemed to get better as it went on, then went down hill this evening. I'm going to take an anti-anxiety pill and read or watch TV. I hope everyone's having a good day.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Yep, we're holdin down the fort! Midton and sydneyman, we'll leave the light on for you : ) I miss you guys!!
Dee, I hope you're doing well!!
Juno, you sound great! I had a lot of things cross my mind while I was reading your posts, but I'm having a bad case of PAWS since friday, and I don't think I'm going to get everything from my head to this post. A couple of things though: 1) yes, valentine's day was sooo much better this year! We did presents on friday, a movie on Saturday, and dinner last night. The whole weekend was so nice, and I was able to do all of that because I wasn't busy drinking or being hungover! 2) I'm not into all that stuff that comes with an invitation like you got either. And I also don't care! We went out to dinner last night with a few of friends. They are just a couple of years older than I am. It was dinner, but it was clear the main event for them was drinking. They got loud, obnoxious, sweared profusely, and spent a lot a lot of money on booze. And there was drunk drama. I was like oh my God, yall are in your mid thirties, but it sure doesn't seem like it. And all they had to show for it afterward was a hangover and a sad bank account. It was so clear to me I am not missing anything at all. They drink a lot at home also, and one of my friends seemed to feel bad for me that I don't go out much so she was like you can come over anytime you want. I politely said thank you, but in my head I was thinking I am real busy doing things that benefit my family and myself. Sitting around listening to a bunch of drunk people is not a good use of my time.
Keep up the great work, juno!!
You know what sounds really good to me lately? Some meditation time with some incense going. I think I'm going to do that tonight.
Dee, I hope you're doing well!!
Juno, you sound great! I had a lot of things cross my mind while I was reading your posts, but I'm having a bad case of PAWS since friday, and I don't think I'm going to get everything from my head to this post. A couple of things though: 1) yes, valentine's day was sooo much better this year! We did presents on friday, a movie on Saturday, and dinner last night. The whole weekend was so nice, and I was able to do all of that because I wasn't busy drinking or being hungover! 2) I'm not into all that stuff that comes with an invitation like you got either. And I also don't care! We went out to dinner last night with a few of friends. They are just a couple of years older than I am. It was dinner, but it was clear the main event for them was drinking. They got loud, obnoxious, sweared profusely, and spent a lot a lot of money on booze. And there was drunk drama. I was like oh my God, yall are in your mid thirties, but it sure doesn't seem like it. And all they had to show for it afterward was a hangover and a sad bank account. It was so clear to me I am not missing anything at all. They drink a lot at home also, and one of my friends seemed to feel bad for me that I don't go out much so she was like you can come over anytime you want. I politely said thank you, but in my head I was thinking I am real busy doing things that benefit my family and myself. Sitting around listening to a bunch of drunk people is not a good use of my time.
Keep up the great work, juno!!
You know what sounds really good to me lately? Some meditation time with some incense going. I think I'm going to do that tonight.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
I just re-read my post, and I think it sounds a little harsh about my friends. I do not want to come across as uppity because that's definitely not how I feel. Let me sum it up by saying I am glad I am not in that place anymore. I make different decisions now, and I am so unbelievably grateful for that. I consider myself very fortunate.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Hey all,Grizz,you didn't sound rude in your post,in fact you worded exactly how I feel in those situations too,ugh,I'm feeling PAWS-y too,seems to always happen when I'm coming up on another month,I just blow it off,if I got this far dealing with different emotions, situations and everything else I can do it again right? Juno,glad your daughters bf came through on V-day,I have 3 daughters so you can imagine the relationship dramas I've been through with them,jeez,my son seems to be the only drama free kid😊 hope Midton and Sydney are doing well,its boring without their posts,I look forward to each and every one of your guyses posts,keeps me going😊 alrighty I hope everyone has a lovely day
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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I agree - nothing wrong with how you worded your feelings, Grizzly! I once went to a Washington Nationals baseball game with my co-workers. I was determined not to drink and just get a hot dog and a diet coke and watch the game, get a few souvenirs for the kids, etc. The game was RAINED OUT so we had to go wait in the bar because there was nowhere else to stay dry. My co-workers proceeded to drink beer after beer and I stood there like a bored idiot watching them get louder and louder and want more and more beer and then have to find a bathroom to pee, etc. It wasn't pretty and it was very boring for someone who just wanted to enjoy a baseball game. There was one other guy there who doesn't drink and he and I started get hungry as you normally would around that time. Everyone else was oblivious of the need for food because they were drinking. It was eye opening!
Yeah, Winslow - girls in their teenage years carry with them a lot of drama. I am glad I have just one daughter. I think the boys are easier but the one with autism is giving me a run for my money right now. The younger one seems much more chill and drama free. I hope he stays that way!
I'm doing okay. I had a disappointment this morning in that an important meeting for son's education was cancelled because of this silly storm we're having. It's an exercise in patience. In fact, it seems like the whole winter is an exercise in patience and being "flexible" in order to shift the schedule and move things around. I'm looking forward to the weather not being such an important part of things. Bring on spring
Grizzly, I hope your mediation goes well! I could use a little more of that. Even 10 minutes can help if you're busy just to stop and re-focus.
Have a good day, all - I'm trying!
Yeah, Winslow - girls in their teenage years carry with them a lot of drama. I am glad I have just one daughter. I think the boys are easier but the one with autism is giving me a run for my money right now. The younger one seems much more chill and drama free. I hope he stays that way!
I'm doing okay. I had a disappointment this morning in that an important meeting for son's education was cancelled because of this silly storm we're having. It's an exercise in patience. In fact, it seems like the whole winter is an exercise in patience and being "flexible" in order to shift the schedule and move things around. I'm looking forward to the weather not being such an important part of things. Bring on spring
Grizzly, I hope your mediation goes well! I could use a little more of that. Even 10 minutes can help if you're busy just to stop and re-focus.
Have a good day, all - I'm trying!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Oh wow, juno and winslow, you ladies are strong! I was terrified of having a girl when I found out I was pregnant. I thought if payback is ten fold, I'm not going to make it! I have my one son, and I am done. Except for his colic early on, he has been laid back and easy. I figure I'm not going to push my luck...
Winslow, I was talking about my PAWS after my meeting tonight, and somebody was telling me that alcohol is still in our systems up to eight and a half months, therefore the brain fog. He said they have done studies on it, and there is something about that eight and half month marker that it finally clears. So we're about halfway there : )
Juno, I didn't do my meditation last night. I got all ready and then was like I'm going to sleep now. I'm really going to have to just make time to do it.
I had a good day. Work was good, I had a great run outside, and the meeting was really good. Tomorrow I will be out in the field seeing a lot of houses, and it's going to be 81 degrees. That's hot!
I hope everyone has a great sober Wednesday, gang!
Winslow, I was talking about my PAWS after my meeting tonight, and somebody was telling me that alcohol is still in our systems up to eight and a half months, therefore the brain fog. He said they have done studies on it, and there is something about that eight and half month marker that it finally clears. So we're about halfway there : )
Juno, I didn't do my meditation last night. I got all ready and then was like I'm going to sleep now. I'm really going to have to just make time to do it.
I had a good day. Work was good, I had a great run outside, and the meeting was really good. Tomorrow I will be out in the field seeing a lot of houses, and it's going to be 81 degrees. That's hot!
I hope everyone has a great sober Wednesday, gang!
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