Class of October 2015 Part 5
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
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Hey all,Grizz,that makes a lot of sense,maybe that's why I still get what feels like "withdrawal" ,its hot here too,I think they said 79 for the high,meh,I'm not complaining but I have baaad allergies and I think they're going to be rough,it's already started,hello to all have a great Wednesday😊
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
I still get the withdrawal feeling too, Winslow. Fortunately not as often now. This hasn't happened in awhile either, but over the last weekend I felt like I had a hangover Saturday and Sunday mornings. Bad enough for me to think really hard about it and be like but I didn't drink. I know I didn't drink! It definitely happens less frequently now, but it sure does come out of nowhere, and it's an awful feeling.
Busy day at work then I got my kiddo to swim practice and ran. Tonight I have to get more paperwork together for my loan application. My loan officer told me today that the appraisal comes back Friday, and if I get these 12 other things into her by then, they can send it to underwriting immediately. Ahhh! Ok, I'll try! I told my boss today that I thought I was supposed to be having fun and enjoying this experience, but it's got me a little stressed. He said nobody enjoys the process leading up to it, it's when I have the keys in my hand that it gets good. Ok. I'm holding on for that...
I hope everyone is doing well!!
Busy day at work then I got my kiddo to swim practice and ran. Tonight I have to get more paperwork together for my loan application. My loan officer told me today that the appraisal comes back Friday, and if I get these 12 other things into her by then, they can send it to underwriting immediately. Ahhh! Ok, I'll try! I told my boss today that I thought I was supposed to be having fun and enjoying this experience, but it's got me a little stressed. He said nobody enjoys the process leading up to it, it's when I have the keys in my hand that it gets good. Ok. I'm holding on for that...
I hope everyone is doing well!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
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Hey all,jeez really quiet here,Grizz,I too get that hangover feeling but like you said,its brief and only here and there,when we were buying a house years ago our Realtor told us that its one of the most stressful life events,it'll be worth it in the end,hello to all,hope everyone is well😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
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Hey guys - I'm trying. Not succeeding. I feel like if Sydneyman and Midton can drop on out of posting, so can I! I'm tired of being the responsible one. That has been the story of my life.
On the other hand. animals are giving me joy. My life is stressful, but I walked around this day at lunchtime and saw birds chirping happily in the sun in front of a McDonald's (no doubt, picking up scraps). That made me happy. Few things make me happy, but that did.
I just gave $50 to the Humane Society for stopping dog meat trade in Asia. I give money monthly to the ASPCA, not much, but what I can afford. I want to give more. Just ordered my meals for the upcoming company meeting - vegetarian only. I am trying to do my part. Have not been vegetarian up to now, but almost. I want to do my little share.
Sorry a sad post, I will scurry off.
On the other hand. animals are giving me joy. My life is stressful, but I walked around this day at lunchtime and saw birds chirping happily in the sun in front of a McDonald's (no doubt, picking up scraps). That made me happy. Few things make me happy, but that did.
I just gave $50 to the Humane Society for stopping dog meat trade in Asia. I give money monthly to the ASPCA, not much, but what I can afford. I want to give more. Just ordered my meals for the upcoming company meeting - vegetarian only. I am trying to do my part. Have not been vegetarian up to now, but almost. I want to do my little share.
Sorry a sad post, I will scurry off.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I admit it. I'm struggling. I tend to want to post only positive things and be a source of strength for others. But I haven't been able to take care of myself. I jump from one crisis to the next, one phone call to the next, one traffic jam to the next one, trying to get to the next appointment on time. I have to be the strongest one because people I care about are struggling. Sometimes I need someone to take care of me, but there isn't anyone. I guess admitting I'm struggling is a first step.
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There's al;ways people who want to help here Juno 
One of the things I had to do was step down from being General Manger of the Universe.
I took on so much I was drowning - and my fix for that stress was drinking.
I've learned what are my problems to fix and what are the things I can delegate, fix later, or not worry about at all.
I think a sense of balance is absolutely imperative to a lasting recovery Juno - and we're here to help
One of the things I had to do was step down from being General Manger of the Universe.
I took on so much I was drowning - and my fix for that stress was drinking.
I've learned what are my problems to fix and what are the things I can delegate, fix later, or not worry about at all.
I think a sense of balance is absolutely imperative to a lasting recovery Juno - and we're here to help
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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I so much appreciate that, Dee.
I don't have the answers to fix everything tonight, but as a first step I have reached out to my ex-husband to tell him I'm struggling. He's a decent guy and I know he understands my stress because he's the father of my kids. I have to tell someone I'm kind of drowning here. I sadly did turn to wine for relief and I feel sick right now.
I don't have the answers to fix everything tonight, but as a first step I have reached out to my ex-husband to tell him I'm struggling. He's a decent guy and I know he understands my stress because he's the father of my kids. I have to tell someone I'm kind of drowning here. I sadly did turn to wine for relief and I feel sick right now.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Hi, juno, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time right now. Post away about the bad stuff if it helps you feel better. It doesn't bother me. I'd rather read that and be supportive then know that you are quietly struggling on your own. Good that you asked for help. You are very strong, but you are one person, and you cannot possibly do everything on your own. There are people that care about you and want to help. Please keep posting whatever/whenever you need to!
I had a rough day too yesterday. I thought this is something I would definitely drink over in the past, but if I did that then I'd be going now what? I ate cookies and sonic instead. I still feel full this morning, and that's gross, but I didnt drink over it. I ate comfort food and went to bed early. That is some serious progress for me. I'm off to get ready for work. I hope we have a great friday, gang!
I had a rough day too yesterday. I thought this is something I would definitely drink over in the past, but if I did that then I'd be going now what? I ate cookies and sonic instead. I still feel full this morning, and that's gross, but I didnt drink over it. I ate comfort food and went to bed early. That is some serious progress for me. I'm off to get ready for work. I hope we have a great friday, gang!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Hey all,Grizz sometimes that's exactly what we need,junk food and sleep😊 Juno,I agree with what Grizzly said completely, please don't go away,I'll worry about you cuz that's just how I roll,I also wanted to add dont measure your sobriety by what others are doing Midton and Sydney will be here soon,this is a process, plus we don't know what's going on in their real world, it could be completely unrelated to alcohol in why they're not here,hope we all have a fab Friday😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Thank you so much guys, I appreciate the support. Suffering in silence is not good so I'm glad I reached out - both here and with my ex. I know just telling someone I'm suffering doesn't really solve the problems, but it's a first step and at least he knows this and will hopefully be sympathetic when I ask him for extra time taking the kids, etc. so I can do yoga or whatever - just supporting more "me" time even if it's just rest. I don't do enough of that - rest and doing nothing. There are so many changes I need to make in my life because the status quo is too difficult.
These past two months have been even more challenging than normal due to my daughter getting sick and managing all that and my Mom's upsetting diagnosis. And there's all the usual stuff and appointments galore - I have a had a huge load on my plate. Yoga has been pretty non-existent and that has to change.
So again, thank you for the great support - one other change I'm going to make is to drop out of my group therapy group - even though I really like - because the time involved and the stress of getting there and back is nearly putting me over the edge on Tuesdays. With my Mom's condition I can no longer count on her to hold up the fort at home while I go and the stress of leaving my family at that time of day is too much. So I'm taking a hiatus from the group for personal reasons - which will allow me to attend my regular SMART meeting on Tuesday nights. That time of day is much easier for me to get away and I think I could use the support from others dealing with alcohol and other addictions more than the regular group therapy right now. I also plan to start my sobriety plan binder this weekend which will include making plans for making things more manageable in my life.
Grizzly, I'm sorry you had a tough day, too. You handled it well - comfort food is better than alcohol. I can assure you that.
I drank about 2/3 of a bottle of Chardonnay and I was really reckless and out of control with it. Not that I did anything reckless, but I drank recklessly reflecting the stress I was feeling.
I went to bed around 9:00 (the kids were all settled anyway) and was zonked out for 3 hours. I woke up a midnight exactly and felt hot. That awful alcohol leaving your system kind of hot. Then I spent the next 3 hours alternating going to the bathroom with throwing up until every single last bit of anything was cleared from my system. Totally cleaned it out. In a horrible way, but it all got out of me. I could then sleep again for 3 hours before getting up to make lunches and get the boys ready for school. Miraculously, I did all that and got the boys to school, took the dog for a walk, emailed in sick to work and went back to bed for a few hours. I don't feel great, but I'm getting better.
My dog was so wonderful last night - he could sense that I was sick and struggling and so got up on the bed and snuggled next to me to give me support. He's just wonderful like that. Offering cuddling and support when needed. I don't know how he's so smart and intuitive - he just is. What a guy.
Take care everyone - I will try to do that as well.
These past two months have been even more challenging than normal due to my daughter getting sick and managing all that and my Mom's upsetting diagnosis. And there's all the usual stuff and appointments galore - I have a had a huge load on my plate. Yoga has been pretty non-existent and that has to change.
So again, thank you for the great support - one other change I'm going to make is to drop out of my group therapy group - even though I really like - because the time involved and the stress of getting there and back is nearly putting me over the edge on Tuesdays. With my Mom's condition I can no longer count on her to hold up the fort at home while I go and the stress of leaving my family at that time of day is too much. So I'm taking a hiatus from the group for personal reasons - which will allow me to attend my regular SMART meeting on Tuesday nights. That time of day is much easier for me to get away and I think I could use the support from others dealing with alcohol and other addictions more than the regular group therapy right now. I also plan to start my sobriety plan binder this weekend which will include making plans for making things more manageable in my life.
Grizzly, I'm sorry you had a tough day, too. You handled it well - comfort food is better than alcohol. I can assure you that.
I drank about 2/3 of a bottle of Chardonnay and I was really reckless and out of control with it. Not that I did anything reckless, but I drank recklessly reflecting the stress I was feeling.
I went to bed around 9:00 (the kids were all settled anyway) and was zonked out for 3 hours. I woke up a midnight exactly and felt hot. That awful alcohol leaving your system kind of hot. Then I spent the next 3 hours alternating going to the bathroom with throwing up until every single last bit of anything was cleared from my system. Totally cleaned it out. In a horrible way, but it all got out of me. I could then sleep again for 3 hours before getting up to make lunches and get the boys ready for school. Miraculously, I did all that and got the boys to school, took the dog for a walk, emailed in sick to work and went back to bed for a few hours. I don't feel great, but I'm getting better.
My dog was so wonderful last night - he could sense that I was sick and struggling and so got up on the bed and snuggled next to me to give me support. He's just wonderful like that. Offering cuddling and support when needed. I don't know how he's so smart and intuitive - he just is. What a guy.
Take care everyone - I will try to do that as well.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Las Vegas
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Juno I swear when I would drink my dog would stare at me,glance at the tall can,back at me,back at the can,its like he knew I was poisoning myself and trying to guilt me out of continuing, so funny how they're so intuned😊
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Oh gosh, I got looks from my dog that made me feel so guilty. He loves me, and he knew what I was doing was not good. I would pass out on the kitchen floor without feeding him and wake up with him right beside me. He's been very forgiving. I swung by to pick him up this afternoon. It was a drive with your dog kind of afternoon. He was so happy sitting beside me with his head out the window. It made me happy : )
Juno, I like your plan. Me time, some time to unwind and do what we want to do, is critical to our well being. Carving out some time for myself, ususally spent running, has helped me better deal with what life throws my way. You got this. You are asking for help, you have a plan, and you can do this : )
I had a better day today than yesterday. Yesterday work was hectic, and I was trying to get all my ducks in a row for this house at the same time. Then I got the news that the appraisal came in lower than the contract price. It came in at what I initially offered. I had a feeling that would happen, but I was willing to pay the extra $4,000 to get exactly what I wanted. So I didn't know if that would blow the whole deal up or we would re-negotiate or what. I'm still not sure. I do trust though that if this doesn't work out its because there is a bigger plan. Something I'm not privy to yet and cannot forsee but better. I do believe that if I do everything I can do, the rest will work itself out. One of the girls at the office this morning was like are you OK? Like maybe I was supposed to fall apart over this. I was like, yeah, I'm fine. Surprisingly calm and comfortable with the whole thing. My significant other was like I cannot believe how you are handling all this! I'm a different person now than I was (almost!) five months ago. I like it : )
I hope we all have a nice sober week with some good me time! We've earned it : )
Juno, I like your plan. Me time, some time to unwind and do what we want to do, is critical to our well being. Carving out some time for myself, ususally spent running, has helped me better deal with what life throws my way. You got this. You are asking for help, you have a plan, and you can do this : )
I had a better day today than yesterday. Yesterday work was hectic, and I was trying to get all my ducks in a row for this house at the same time. Then I got the news that the appraisal came in lower than the contract price. It came in at what I initially offered. I had a feeling that would happen, but I was willing to pay the extra $4,000 to get exactly what I wanted. So I didn't know if that would blow the whole deal up or we would re-negotiate or what. I'm still not sure. I do trust though that if this doesn't work out its because there is a bigger plan. Something I'm not privy to yet and cannot forsee but better. I do believe that if I do everything I can do, the rest will work itself out. One of the girls at the office this morning was like are you OK? Like maybe I was supposed to fall apart over this. I was like, yeah, I'm fine. Surprisingly calm and comfortable with the whole thing. My significant other was like I cannot believe how you are handling all this! I'm a different person now than I was (almost!) five months ago. I like it : )
I hope we all have a nice sober week with some good me time! We've earned it : )
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Good morning - day 2 here. Trying to find a way out of the hole I have dug myself into. Creating a simple list of things to accomplish (not too ambitious) to include yoga and relaxation. I got through Day 1 yesterday and started to feel okay mid-day. However, I had a sharp pain in my lower right abdomen - this is the pain that comes when I binge drink. It's scary. I know I'm doing damage to myself everytime I drink and like a cat with 9 lives, I think I have reached the 9th life. If I continue to binge drink (or drink at all, because even light drinking eventually leads to bingeing) then I might get going beyond my 9th life - the time when I start doing irreversible damage. So although I may not have picked the sobriety date of 2/19/16, it seems to have picked me.
I will carry on today and one of the things on my list is to start the sobriety/life plan binder which will be a work in progress, a plan for getting my life into something manageable.
My kids are all here right now and they were supposed to be at their Dad's this weekend. I'm having a terrible time trying to get them there. When they are here I don't have much of a break. I have little time to myself. My ex is willing to take them; at times they are unwilling to go. It stinks for me. I will plan to drop off the two boys with my ex at noon today to at least get a small break. My daughter will stay with me all weekend since she's still feeling very sick. Yoga at 4:30 pm should help get my health plan back on track.
And yes, dogs are so smart and intuitive. When I was drinking more regularly, like a bottle of wine every other day, my dog would actually slink away and hide when he saw me open up a bottle. They are smarter than we are sometimes.
Have a great Saturday, all. Grizzly, yes the process of buying a house is very stressful. It will all be worth it. You have a good attitude!!!
I will carry on today and one of the things on my list is to start the sobriety/life plan binder which will be a work in progress, a plan for getting my life into something manageable.
My kids are all here right now and they were supposed to be at their Dad's this weekend. I'm having a terrible time trying to get them there. When they are here I don't have much of a break. I have little time to myself. My ex is willing to take them; at times they are unwilling to go. It stinks for me. I will plan to drop off the two boys with my ex at noon today to at least get a small break. My daughter will stay with me all weekend since she's still feeling very sick. Yoga at 4:30 pm should help get my health plan back on track.
And yes, dogs are so smart and intuitive. When I was drinking more regularly, like a bottle of wine every other day, my dog would actually slink away and hide when he saw me open up a bottle. They are smarter than we are sometimes.
Have a great Saturday, all. Grizzly, yes the process of buying a house is very stressful. It will all be worth it. You have a good attitude!!!
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Hey all,day 120 woo-hoo😊 now I can say I have 4 months sober instead of days sober,Juno,I don't like my quit date number either, I like even numbers but it worked out the way it did and I'm happy😀 don't feel like working today at all! Boo-hoo,hope we all have a safe,sober,Saturday😊
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Hey everyone, just posting again
I'm through Day 2. Having a lot of thoughts about drinking and changing the way I think about it. The last binge was kind of severe and my body's reaction to it very severe. It has me thinking of alcohol in a slightly different way: like I am going from "it would be very nice to quit, I want to quit entirely" to "it's absolutely necessary that I quit in order to maintain my health." A change from "I don't like my sobriety date" to "I don't have a choice in my sobriety date because I can't drink again." So maybe this is good. The last couple of times I drink they weren't *that* bad because I stopped at 2 drinks, didn't have the severe hangover and could function the next day. This last time on Feb. 18th was not like that. I needed to wake up and see what alcohol can and is going to do to me. Sooooooo.... Day 2 successful.
Today was both good and bad.
Bad because: my Mom was pretty sick and I'm worried about her. My daughter also sick. Two of the people I care about most on this planet are really having trouble and it I wish I could do more to make them better. I was pretty sad for a while this afternoon, but trying to stay positive tonight.
Good because: I did a much better job of taking care of myself today. I made a reasonable list of things to accomplish and when it was clear I couldn't get it all done, I said, "Okay, some of these things will have to get done tomorrow." I also went to yoga and even took an afternoon nap when I was tired. I'm doing better at watching out for myself and need to keep this up, especially during the week when I get overextended and end up drinking.
Progress today and I need to keep it up. Tomorrow I will start the "binder" with ideas to take care of myself and make sure I never drink again. Life is too short to be sick, hungover or numb with alcohol.
I'm through Day 2. Having a lot of thoughts about drinking and changing the way I think about it. The last binge was kind of severe and my body's reaction to it very severe. It has me thinking of alcohol in a slightly different way: like I am going from "it would be very nice to quit, I want to quit entirely" to "it's absolutely necessary that I quit in order to maintain my health." A change from "I don't like my sobriety date" to "I don't have a choice in my sobriety date because I can't drink again." So maybe this is good. The last couple of times I drink they weren't *that* bad because I stopped at 2 drinks, didn't have the severe hangover and could function the next day. This last time on Feb. 18th was not like that. I needed to wake up and see what alcohol can and is going to do to me. Sooooooo.... Day 2 successful.
Today was both good and bad.
Bad because: my Mom was pretty sick and I'm worried about her. My daughter also sick. Two of the people I care about most on this planet are really having trouble and it I wish I could do more to make them better. I was pretty sad for a while this afternoon, but trying to stay positive tonight.
Good because: I did a much better job of taking care of myself today. I made a reasonable list of things to accomplish and when it was clear I couldn't get it all done, I said, "Okay, some of these things will have to get done tomorrow." I also went to yoga and even took an afternoon nap when I was tired. I'm doing better at watching out for myself and need to keep this up, especially during the week when I get overextended and end up drinking.
Progress today and I need to keep it up. Tomorrow I will start the "binder" with ideas to take care of myself and make sure I never drink again. Life is too short to be sick, hungover or numb with alcohol.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Juno, good for you!! I am sorry to hear your mom and daughter are still not feeling well. Not to make light of that at all, but you still found time to take care of yourself. That is so awesome! That has not been easy for you to do. I'm proud of you for making it happen today!!
Also, I love your new picture! It's adorable : )
Also, I love your new picture! It's adorable : )
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