Dee74

no worries JCNY

D

ReadyOrNot123

Presidents Day 2015 at this time - I was very drunk. By 8 p.m. I had already slept some of it off but I was still out of it. The next day I was riddled with guilt and anxiety and basically out of my skin. I signed up for SR and committed to checking in every day. I had some ambivalent periods of time in the intervening year, but here I am, still sober. I'm actually grateful that tomorrow starts another year, because I feel like I've been reliving last year too much this last week or so.

Back to my Homeland marathon. I love long weekends.

nymets86

Congrats on one year Ready!!!!

That's a huge achievement.

My one-year anniversary is coming up this week too. Unfortunately I've drank a handful of times over the last year, but the horror of waking up at the hospital is fortunately something that's not even been remotely close to happening. Since booze is no longer a priority, when I have slipped, I've gotten back on track quickly.

For me last February, it was a Wednesday night and I was out at a bar watching basketball. Since my team (Duke) was on at 9, I'd drank a ton of vodka before meeting my friends, then was sticking to high ABV IPAs. My skewed logic was that if I didn't drink before the bar, I'd be too sober by the time the game ended at 11PM. Well, that game went to overtime and I don't really remember it, then I woke up in a hospital bed. I stumbled home from the hospital to find I had no keys, but the doorman had them since I'd passed out in the hallway and apparently he called the EMT when he found me there.

It took me weeks to feel comfortable leaving my apartment and seeing my neighbors, who may or may have not seen me on the floor in the hallway.

Not everything in my life has gone fantastically in the last 12 months, but it's such an unbelievable burden to have lifted, not dealing with blackouts. I hope the next year will be fully sober, but if not, I now have the tools to immediately get back on track.

Duke/UNC is this Wednesday and I've already told those who have asked that I'll be watching from home. It's not the exact one year anniversary, but it's the essentially the same in my mind. Will just be a nice evening at home with some club soda and a Lean Cuisine.

ReadyOrNot123

Thanks Mets and I think we've both done well. No horror for a year. Does that mean everything is perfect? Nope - but I'll take it and I know you will too.

I took today off, had a massage and lunch with a friend. Now I'm organizing some of my genealogy things. I really wish I had taken tomorrow off too, but will need to be satisfied with the long weekend I'm just finishing up.

Good plan for the game. Enjoy!

SereneEdition

I'm swinging by from the Feb 13 class to say hi and congratulate all you guys on 1 year sober! It's a big accomishment.

I really started to come into my own in Year 2 and I hope the same for you.

Dee74

Congrats Ready

D

ReadyOrNot123

Thanks Dee. And Thanks to Serene Edition for popping in with encouragement. I think year 2 will be good.

I just came from a wake for a friend's father. He had Alzheimer's. I hate that disease. But now he's free, and if you believe in heaven, he's with his wife who died last summer. I actually don't believe in heaven but I still think it's romantic when people are married for so long and die within a few days or months of each other.

So now I'm home and just hanging out enjoying a relatively mellow evening. Two more days and it's the weekend. I'm already ready for it, can't wait for spring.

nymets86

Well, another classic Duke/North Carolina game, just like the one last February. Except this time, I'm watching highlights and the press conference as opposed to being sent to the hospital and not even remembering the classic finish.

So much adrenaline now, so I won't get a good night of sleep, but I'll be at work on time tomorrow and just tired.

ReadyOrNot123

Awesome Mets! Definitely a better finish to the game than last year. And I'm sure today is a better day than last year at this time too. You are doing great!

ReadyOrNot123

What a gorgeous day today was. It was mild, sunny and pleasant. Tonight the sunset was absolutely amazing. We did some shopping for shelving at IKEA (middle class, middle aged, what can you do), had a nice lunch and did some errands. I later went to the grocery store and that's when I saw the glorious sunset and I literally thought "how can anyone be unhappy on a day like this"? Then I found myself drawn to the liquor store. I wouldn't even call it an urge, it just seemed natural. Well that kind of freaked me out once I reminded myself that I can't do that. My first reaction was disappointment, then I got kind of ticked off. I'm over it now though. Of course, I'm sitting here eating cookies instead, so maybe I'm just substituting addictions.

I hated this work week, and am already dreading Monday. In the meantime, I'm sorting through some old pictures from my dad's side of the family (I'm the historian / genealogist / archivist) trying to figure out who all these people are. I love puttering with the old stuff but I do need to get him over here to put names to faces before it's too late.

That's all I have for today. Tomorrow is supposed to be equally nice but I am going to stay home and relax, maybe binge watch House of Cards.

ReadyOrNot123

Today has been a very up and down day - I was very down in the dumps earlier for no apparent reason - I spent some time tidying up and doing some organizing and do feel better now. I'm tired and don't feel like facing another workweek, but it's fine - lots of people wouldn't work if given the choice so I'm hardly alone. I did just make plans with my dad to spend a day next weekend going through the old photos so that will be fun. I guess the occasional blah day is just that, an occasional blip. I don't feel like drinking so it's not a continuation of yesterday's feeling.

Anyway, it's time for another 30 day spending hiatus. I'm completely out of control. I don't need anything. I don't even want anything, but that's not stopping me from overdoing it completely. Last year I stopped spending for about 5 weeks and it actually felt good.

All for now. Have a good week.

ReadyOrNot123

Bonuses and raises came out today and I was very proud of the people on my team who got promoted. They all deserved it. My direct reports did well. Me? meh. Less than last year and less than one of my reports, and I took on an enormous amount of extra work this year. After sulking for about an hour I decided to ignore it, it's hardly like I'm suffering after all.

What else, hm. Oh yeah, another tooth broke today so I need to go in and get that fixed tomorrow. Good thing I like my dentist, I'm there a lot.

Otherwise all is well.

Dee74

sorry about the ups and down Ready - but great attitude

D

nymets86

Ready, I believe you're doing a fantastic job. I just got my promotion and don't want to deal with all the excuses. I'm impressed by your ability to thru the crap. Great job!

nymets86

I just got back from the gym. First time since I came down with the cold. Thankfully, my cough is totally gone, but annoying how long other symptoms are lingering.

Ready, your comment about teeth got me thinking. I had to get a crown last summer and the nerve still hasn't healed. I have a feeling that I'll need a root canal. Dental issues are certainly not ideal, but for whatever reason, I have no problem going to see my dentist like I would with a regular doctor.

ReadyOrNot123

Regarding my attitude, which I agree is pretty good in general - I am intrinsically a very lazy person and it takes an enormous amount of energy to hold on to negativity. Plus, what's the point? More often than not, nothing changes.

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not Miss Sunshine - far from it. I'm just not Miss Negativity either.

That said, and I get the contradiction - I do feel negative today. I'm going to do the bare bones that I have to do and call it a day as soon as I can. This too shall pass.

Mets, get your tooth fixed. It probably does need a root canal, I've had one and it's nothing other than expensive.

I don't want to drink today, but I did stop at Dunkin Donuts last night and got two donuts on my way home. I believe it's official, I've transferred addictions. Time to work on that too.

nymets86

With my tooth, the dentist xrayed it in January and said if the pain is tolerable, it's worth trying to "save the tooth" which doesn't happen with a root canal. Since I'm only 30, he recommended I wait it out since he said sometimes the nerve can take up to a year to heal after a crown is set.

There's a Dunkin donuts right by one of the liquor stores that was in my previous rotation. I'll admit to the same thing of making stops in DD to grab one of their croissant/sausage/cheese sandwiches which I find addicting.

Coming home this evening, I took the route home that is longer on the subway, but a shorter walk (since it is raining). No more issue passing the liquor store on that route. But outside a pizza place, I stopped and strongly debated going in. I'm enjoying a chicken cutlet I made on the foreman grill and some fresh pineapple. The battle with food is just as difficult as that with booze and in many cases, I feel a bit tougher as there's not that horrible hangover and days/weeks of regrets.

As for speeding, one thing I try to do is have "$0 days." That means no Amazon, no ordering in, etc. I don't count the rent or cable bill or whatever else is incurred all the time, but those "$0 days" have helped me save over the years.

Calicofish

Well done Ready. I don't post in this forum often but I do read it occasionally and I just want you to know that I am proud of you.

It's nice to wake up sober, isn't it. I as you said, up thread, while sobriety doesn't make all our troubles magically disappear, it certainly doesn't make them worse.

Let's meet again, same time, same place, next year and joyously do the zoomies around the house because it's year 2.

Hugs,
CF

ReadyOrNot123

I would love zoomies around the house CF! It's a date. Well done to you as well. Waking up sober is the best part, although there are lots of best parts with very few lousy parts. Thanks for checking in, and Congrats.

ReadyOrNot123

This week has been something of a roller coaster. And in keeping with it, after a pretty decent day overall, at 4:30 came the start of annoying, nagging emails, oozing with judgment. It's very tiring to have clients 90% of whom are on the negative end of the spectrum. Meanwhile, I have two that I have spent the lion's share of my time on this week, because they are so nice. And they actually thank me in a way that doesn't feel forced or just to be polite. They actually appreciate what I do for them. Anyway, I've decided to ignore the nastiness and sign off for the day. They can wait until Monday.

As for the rest of the week, it certainly was ups and downs. Wednesday was the worst, so awful - like everything was a battle. Last evening I went out to dinner with some work friends and we had a really nice time. I've known these women for over 25 years, and they were both my boss at different times. Two more different people you'll seldom find, but they both definitely shaped and mentored me in my early career. Nothing much will be going on this weekend, just taking it easy. We're relocating for work, so maybe I'll swing by to see what the new space looks like (and where it is).

I'm glad it's Friday. Mets, hope you're doing well. Dee, have a great weekend.