Dee74

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-20.html

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nymets86

Thanks for the new thread Dee.

I'm on a break now between meetings. Gorgeous day out. Had a long car ride by myself and feel pretty good. Obviously a bit mad at myself for drinking, but also very determined to stay sober and realizing how much better my life is getting by cutting alcohol out. While it's technically day 2, I feel like it's quite a bit more since I'm not desperate and spiraling out of control like I was in February.

So yeah, I'll get home late tonight and have work tomorrow, then my vacation begins!

ReadyOrNot123

Thanks for the thread continuation Dee. Keeping busy is good Mets. You sound determined to keep the progress going and that's great. Especially with such a nice vacation coming up. You can't undo the slip, so take the lessons learned and stay the course.

All is well here. I went out to dinner with friends after work and saw a local band for a set. I almost bailed as I'm pretty tired by week's end, but I'm glad I didn't. It was fun, and now it's still relatively early and I can get some good sleep for tomorrow. I was pretty productive today so feel good about that, and good about Monday/Tuesday's meetings in general. Now I can treat tomorrow as a catch up day on all the stuff that I've had to set aside in order to prepare.

Good night all.

ReadyOrNot123

Mets, you're on vacation! At least I hope so, and that your meetings ended up going well.

I'm pleased the week is over, I got a lot done and am ready for a busy week coming up. In the meantime, two days of relaxation. No real plans which works for me. No drinking urges lately, feeling good and strong. Got to stop with the sweets though, I'm not nearly as disciplined there lately.

nymets86

Vacation has started with a bang. Got an offer from a competing firm for a huge salary increase. Their bonus structure seems a bit strange, so not sure I'll accept the offer, but I think at the very least I can use the offer as leverage for a big raise at my current job.

All of this will come after my vacation, I suppose, since I can't exert any leverage while in Europe and the new firm has said anytime before the end of August is OK. I knew when I did the interview back in June that it went well, but I didn't expect an offer at all, let alone the one I got.

I don't think I can directly attribute it to my long run of sobriety when I did the interview, but it certainly didn't hurt with self confidence, knowledgeability, quickness, etc.

In many ways, I'm thinking highly of myself now. In a way that I don't think is healthy. It's probably a once in a lifetime event that I can show up from a vacation and tell my boss I want a big raise to stay.

I believe there's a solid chance I'll get matched by my current firm since I've been producing a ton of new accounts, even when I was drinking way too much. I've been doing even better since I quit, so regardless of what happens, I know I need to stay sober.

ReadyOrNot123

That is awesome Mets, and a dream scenario. Congratulations! Sounds like you are very good at your job.

I slept very well last night, it's a little gray and damp out but I don't have any outside plans, so no big deal. All good here.

ReadyOrNot123

I am struggling a bit with the eating getting out of control. I eat like I drink - everything in sight, so it's best to not have anything in sight. On the up side, I am confident that I can rein it in with some discipline, as I have done so before, both with food and alcohol, shopping, biting my nails, and every other vice I've succumbed to. Addictive personality much? ! Plus, my regrets with food manifest in a stomach ache, but no concerns about making an ass out of myself, so if I have to choose, I'll take the overeating.

I'm relaxing on this nice Sunday, put on the AC since it's hot and humid, and am watching golf. For me, it's a pretty great day! It's still early enough I can putter around with some scrapbooking and maybe catching up on some of my other hobbies if I feel like it. Nothing too stressful with an early night ahead of a very busy work week. I do have two work dinners/happy hours this week but I am not concerned about drinking at them. Most people at work do not know me as a drinker so there will be no surprise when I drink my sodas. That said, I've still thought about it since vigilance is key!

ReadyOrNot123

What a busy two days. The meetings I was dreading went quite well, and now they are over (except for the takeaways of course) and I am pleased. The jury is out on the anxiety meds, I still felt the anxiety but I do think it was less than before, but still has a ways to go. I have a follow up with the doctor in about a week, will get her assessment then. Another work outing this week, but it's departmental, not client related so should actually be fun, rather than the tedious client dinners where you have to pretend to be interested in people who are generally not terribly nice. I had a sudden and strong urge to have a rum and coke on the drive home, which came out of nowhere but left fairly quickly too. But overall, other than being tired from little sleep and probably a bit of stress, I feel pretty good. Now I have to dig myself out from the two days where I couldn't attend to any of my other client deliverables, but at least I can work from home tomorrow, which will help.

nymets86

Ready, hopefully the meds are working. Just reading your response to the meeting you were anxious about and now how you feel about this one saying it should be fun certainly seem to indicate a better mood and less fearful outlook.

Good job with that craving too. I wish I'd had that control last week. Nonetheless, I'm wrapping up day 8 here. A bit aided by the time zone shift in Europe!

Been a great vacation. Trying not to let that job offer go to my head too much. There was some slight drama where my boss did learn about it through a combination of someone at the firm that made me the offer reaching out to someone else at my company and me confiding in the wrong person when I needed a cover for leaving to interview. Anyway, I spoke on the phone with my boss and she understands its business and there's no hard feelings. She said she hopes to have a counter offer I can't refuse by the time I get back.

Been up early and doing light jogs. Then doing loads and loads of walking. I love sightseeing here and being with family has certainly helped with any thoughts of drinking. They've clearly noticed I've not been drinking around them since February (both my slips were not with them) and they notice my wright loss, so I haven't had the difficult discussion about saying I'm quitting, but actions speak louder than words.

ReadyOrNot123

Glad to hear vacation is going well. I have a couple days off next week and am looking forward to it. Can't imagine a couple of weeks (although I will be taking two off in August).

All good here, I slept in a little and feel a bit better with some rest. I wish I had been more productive today, but there's a bit of a letdown after the adrenaline of the last couple of days. Tomorrow will be busy, Friday should be easier and then the weekend again already. The weather today is amazing, we had lunch on the deck which was nice. I do enjoy working in my house a lot, no commute and just much more mellow. Not to mention, the dress code is quite a bit more relaxed, that's for sure.

nymets86

Yeah, I'm not into relaxing vacations for whatever reason, but for me, this kind of activity filled vacation is just great and makes me feel very vibrant and just want nothing to do with booze.

I found out that my current job is going to give me a substantial raise to stay. More than the other company was offering (I never gave them an exact number of the other base salary, so was nice to see the number come in above it). Everyone on the trip with me now knows, though that wasn't my plan, but either way, drinking didn't cross my mind. Some family members had a drink or two at dinner, my mom had none (she's on a very serious diet to get thin before my brother's wedding and I'm amazed at how thin she is getting, takes some of the mentions of my weight loss dry up a bit), and nobody seemed to notice.

Very nice day overall. I'll try to keep checking in, but wifi/cell is always an issue when over here. And weekend means no work emails to attend to, so might try to leave the phone in the hotel for a day or two. It's been years since I've done that.

ReadyOrNot123

Sounds like a fun trip Mets. Leave the phone! Nice to detach on occasion.

I'm glad it's Friday - I have a lot to do, but it's always better with the weekend looming. The weather could not be nicer these last couple of days and that always makes everything around me seem better, even if it isn't. I went to a work party last night, didn't feel any pressure to drink, stayed for a bit, talked to some of the people I don't get a chance to very often, didn't talk at all to the big cheese (I'm bad at the political stuff), and headed home. Overall it was a nice time.

TGIF!

ReadyOrNot123

Busy day today, some shopping and lunch this morning/afternoon, and now resting up before meeting a friend for some dinner. I was driving past a liquor store and actually found myself staring at it. Usually (after some weeks of sobriety) I find that I don't even notice them, so it was a little odd. I think the fact of the matter is that I would love to have a drink, but another fact is that I can't. I think it might be a good thing, not a bad thing, that this comes to my mind periodically so that I can affirm that latter fact. Anyway, just sharing random thoughts. Overall it's a good day.

ReadyOrNot123

Good Sunday Morning! It's a cool, cloudy day here, but we're in for a heat wave this week so I'll take it. Nothing much planned today, just doing some chores and getting ready for the upcoming work week, which will be short because I have Tuesday and Wednesday off. It's basically my favorite kind of Sunday, rest and relaxation, no rushing around. I can't believe it's the last week of July - how on earth is time going so fast?

nymets86

Just checking in on Day 14 for me this time (and 158 of the last 160 days). The trip continues to be great and there's really been zero temptation to drink. Been getting up early and doing the elliptical in the hotel and then sightseeing all day. Logging a ton of miles (or kilometers I guess).

I feel like the real challenge will be when I return and am back in the environment where drinking comes so naturally. For the time being, I'm going to enjoy tonight and then the rest of my European vacation.

Ready, I hope the week is treating you well and the anxiety meds are starting to take hold.

ReadyOrNot123

Just checking in myself, I have the day off and am heading into Fenway shortly to watch the incomparable Pedro Martinez have his number retired. I can't wait!

Good to hear you are having a good trip Mets. It sounds tiring but fun.

Dee74

Hey you guys

Congrats on 2 weeks mets!

D

ReadyOrNot123

What a fun day yesterday, we got there early, hung out at a bar until the gates opened (he had beer, I had soda, no craving or urges other than there are a ton more fun and tasty drinks than there are sodas), got into the ballpark early and it was a blast. Until the game started that is, boy are the Red Sox in a free fall. But it was a beautiful summer night and a really fun time. And a day off today (I'm at an age where I don't stay up late and get up early the next well, and have lots of vacation days so took today off assuming I'd be tired). It's going to be hot today so I don't foresee doing much more than finishing my book (Stephen King's 11/22/63 - I recommend it if you are a fan of time travel or King books, can't wait to see how it ends!) and maybe getting some lunch. Nice and low key.

Happy Wednesday!

ReadyOrNot123

Here it is, Friday again, and a perfect summer day after several days of sweltering heat and humidity. I've been very busy at work these last two days and am now actually waiting for one last thing to be wrapped up before logging off for the weekend. No plans tonight, tomorrow lunch and errands, and then dinner with a friend and some shopping. I had my anxiety medication follow up visit today with the doctor, she wants to give it another couple of weeks before increasing the dosage. I reported that the anxiety is better, but still there and she is hoping that a couple more weeks will make it gone, or we'll experiment with a dosage increase. I'm pleased on two fronts - that my hope that the anxiety will be gone entirely is not unrealistic, and that her knee-jerk reaction is not to expand the dosage immediately. I'd rather stay on as low a dose as possible but obviously I'd like to have more normal reactions to certain situations. Anyway, another positive is that she was able to review all my tests (standard stuff) while I was sitting there and I'm in excellent health. That's always nice to hear.

So overall I'm feeling pretty positive today. Mets you're probably coming to the end of your vacation, safe travels. Hope you're well on your way to sober weekend #24 (I think that's the number).

Dee74

Have a great weekend ReadyOrNot

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