Dee74

Wishing you two the best

D

nymets86

Ugh, same old Jets. I was optimistic they'd make the playoffs, but as usual, they screwed it up. Of the teams I follow, they're the one I care least about, so not too upset about it, but was pretty pissed watching the game.

The week coming up should be nice. No class, not very busy at work, so think I can get to the gym most mornings and in bed nice and early.

I'm not a Pats fan, but I know you are Ready, as is my new sister-in-law. I guess I'll go ahead and root for them begrudgingly this playoff season.

Have a nice week.

ReadyOrNot123

Thanks for the well wishes Dee, and thanks for rooting for the Patriots Mets, I'm fairly ticked off today too. I had a group of friends over to watch, and apparently having people over to watch football results into a loss for the team, if the Iowa Rose Bowl and Pats/Dolphins game are any barometer!

I'm very tired but very satisfied with the weekend's hosting duties. Everything is mostly cleaned up and I'm waiting for the season premiere of Downton Abbey. In our younger days, we'd still be going strong, and tomorrow would be a looong day. I'm quite pleased that things aren't going like that any longer, not just with me, but with the whole crowd. Folks drank of course, but it was largely under control.

The week ahead should be busy for us too, as a back office operations team, we're pretty busy with year end. Tomorrow we should be back at full staffing levels, thankfully.

Have a good one.

nymets86

Been a nice week here so far. I'm one of the few who actually likes it being cold since I can crack my window a tad and it gets nice and cool in my room (it's super noisy if I open the window fully).

Just got back from the gym for my third morning in a row and this week I've been back to watching what I'm eating and drinking. I got back into a bad habit of having juice all the time, which is loaded with sugar. Obviously better that I'm not pairing it with booze, but on Monday, I noticed that my pants felt a bit snug. Think I ate too much on vacation.

Anyway, sobriety is what's most important and that's going well. Cravings have been basically zero since I got back. I think finishing my fall classes added a lot of stress along with dating a bit and it being our busy season for work. Been nice this week getting home both days at 6PM and just being able to relax and catch up on reading and junk TV.

ReadyOrNot123

Last night was a work team dinner for the holidays, I don't love those things but usually have a good time, and yesterday was no exception. But I will say that I am thrilled that the last of the holiday festivities are finally over. Now time to get these decorations put away, and take it easy. This was one of my favorite holiday seasons in recent memory, but it's a lot of work to be so festive! My food intake is high, the sleep patterns all skewed, and I am looking forward to regulating everything.

Mets, glad someone likes the cold weather, since we will likely have more of it coming. As long as it's not impossible amounts of snow, I'll be ok with it.

All for now - got a busy meeting day today at work, and have been slow to do some stuff. Best get to it!

ReadyOrNot123

Well it's now the second weekend in January and I don't seem to be doing well on my resolutions. I'm stuffed to the gills with sweets, and I bought a bunch of new things I don't need. Tomorrow is another day. It's not that much different from drinking for me in a lot of respects. First break the habit through gritted teeth, and then work on the long haul.

Goes without saying that I'd rather be dealing with this than being a drunk. On that score, I'm feeling pretty strong. Any urges I have are fleeting, and more nostalgia than true desire.

We finally got the house mostly de-Christmassed. I love the holidays and this season was outstanding. But I do think I like the fact that you make a fuss and then all the stuff gets put away. I have a lot of Christmas decorations that are homemade and have wonderful memories and I love seeing them every year. But I also love going back to normal. When all is said and done, I am truly a person of habit and routine.

So nothing much going on, but it had been a few days since I'd made an update, and if there is one thing that I would say is making this quit different than others, it's using SR to make myself accountable.

Mets, unfortunately for you it has warmed up again. What a weird winter.

nymets86

Yeah, the warm/rain today isn't ideal.

This weekend for me has been a bit of a slog. I had absolutely nothing planned and with drinking not an option, has involved a lot of sitting around. I'm going to go to the gym in a bit and watch some football. One of the bad things with being single and living in an apartment by myself is that weekends like this can happen. I usually make sure to avoid them and set up travel plans or some activity, but didn't happen this weekend.

Again, a lot better than battling a hangover and regretting what may or may OT have happened while I'd been out drinking, but it's certainly easy to feel down in the dumps spending a weekend like this only interacting with the employees at the gym, the doorman and the clerk at the grocery store.

Good luck with the NY resolutions ready.

ReadyOrNot123

Well I got on the scale for the first time in a while and it wasn't pretty. I know what to do next, I've been down this road as many times as quitting drinking. If only I had a moderation switch.

So I'm a little down about that, and wish I was two weeks or so into the diet as it's easier to stay on the course than it is to get started. Weight can be lost though, and maybe I'll actually start getting some exercise too.

I'm sorry you were at loose ends this past weekend Mets. Next weekend is a three day weekend so hopefully you'll be able to set up some plans. How's the dating going?

nymets86

Sorry to hear about the weight Ready. For the both of us weight and alcohol are lifelong battles.

I have a date set up for tomorrow night with someone new. I really don't know why the last, extremely brief, relationship ended. Maybe she was seeing someone else, not sure. Either way, having booze out of the picture makes the ups and downs of the dating world be less exaggerated.

TGIF and good luck to the Pats this weekend

ReadyOrNot123

Goodness what happened to this week. I'm pretty glad it's over. I've done pretty well with the food intake. Once I get on a roll I do pretty well, so I just have to continue gaining momentum. But yes, it's a struggle. Sorry you are in the same boat Mets.

And good luck! I hope the date goes well. One of these ladies will click, I know it.

I get my hair done near a convenience store that also sells alcohol - I popped in for a soda before my appointment today - walked through a wine aisle - big bottle of white for 9.99. Now obviously not your better brand, but I did think "imagine that, my dessert at the team dinner last week cost almost that much, you really can get drunk for little money". Then I thought, stop! look at the bottle. do you want it? really want it? want it enough to actually buy it and drink it? And I didn't, not even a little bit. I'm not one of those people who feels it necessary to test herself, but I did it today for some reason. I won't make a habit of it but I was pleased.

Introspective moment over....on to the weekend plans. Tomorrow we will meet a brand new baby for the first time (should have met her at Christmas time but the poor little tyke was sick), then The Game tomorrow night, a massage and lunch with a couple of friends for a girl's day on Monday. Looking forward to it.

Hope you have good plans too Mets.

nymets86

Ugh, so I drank on the date. We met at a very nice restaurant and I had no intention of drinking. The drink menu came out and I said "I'm good with sparkling water" and she said the same as we ordered our meals. But when the appetizers came out, the waiter said that he thought he had a good bottle of wine to match with our meals.

Next thing I know that same drink menu is in front of me and I feel the inevitability. I bought a $60 bottle of wine (probably the same $9.99 bottle you saw) and shared it with my date.

The date went well and we made plans to go to the movies together next Friday. With that said, I drank half a bottle of wine and was pretty drunk by the time we went our separate ways. I'm now at my apartment and have sobered up a bit. I'm not all that mad at myself since I didn't overdo it, but I'm also realizing there's going to be a problem if I continue to see this woman and haven't established myself as a non drinker.

Well, the Patriots won and I caught the end of the Cards/Packers game which was very exciting.

I'm gonna head to bed now and sleep off this buzz. I'll think more about my dating life and navigating it while staying sober tomorrow. The day had been pretty good up until the drinking thing. I did 10.5 miles on the elliptical at the gym while watching my Duke Blue Devils lose to Notre Dame. I was upset, but happy that I'd notched over 10 miles during the game.

ReadyOrNot123

Been there Mets, I understand. When we were dating, I actually told my boyfriend (now husband) that I was an alcoholic, although I softened the language into "drinking problem" - he said he understood but he didn't. and eventually, I did drink, after 6 years of not drinking. It's hard to not feel part of the crowd, normal, whatever is the driver of the relapse. But believe me, it will get so much worse. I definitely got worse anyway (let's just say that my husband now understands). Best to get it under control Mets, I don't have to tell you that.

Dee74

Sorry I haven't been around much. Busy.

I'm sorry you drank Mets.

I think dating is traumatic anytime, but probably moreso in early recovery.

I agree with Ready. It's hard to come into a situation where you're trying to impress and declare you're a non drinker...especially in early recovery cos the AV will make that into a REALLY BIG THING.

I think that's what we need to do tho - even if we only declare it to ourselves for now.

It will get easier. A few years in and I have no trouble declaring myself a non drinker now anymore than I do declaring myself a non smoker

D

ReadyOrNot123

How are you doing Mets? I was thinking of you yesterday. Are you going on dates through an online type of thing? If so, I think you can put non-drinker on the profile (Dee's "non-drinker, non-smoker" analogy prompted the thought). Lots of people don't drink, and at least then it's out there, and you don't need to provide excuses until you're on more secure footing with the dates.

Let's see, what's going on here. It's freezing cold and looks like we're going to get some significant snow this weekend, ugh. This is about the time last year that we got hit repeatedly and hard with snowstorms and I'm feeling a bit like I have PTSD from it. Other than that, I had a good weekend, my massage was great yesterday and we had a lovely lunch out. One of the women recently got let go from a job she loved right before Christmas and now must start the interviewing process. Not sure why I mention it other than it'd probably be a good reason to drown one's sorrows, but she's not a big drinker and I bet it didn't even occur to her. I hope it wouldn't occur to me, hopefully I won't have to find out.

Going to hopefully buy a new car today - mine is 8 or 9 years old and is getting up there with miles. I haven't had to do to much with it, and love the fact that I don't have a car payment, but I also recognize that I don't want to find out I have a problem on the side of the road when it's dark and snowy. We've done the research, and basically agreed on a price with the dealer (love the internet) so hopefully it will be painless.

All for now, duty calls (got to pay for the car after all!). Mets, check in when you have a chance.

Dee74

Good luck on the car purchase Ready

D

ReadyOrNot123

Thanks Dee. We did buy one, not sure when we will pick it up, possibly Thursday. I'm really looking forward to it!

Dee74

awesome!

D

nymets86

Hey, so I'm on the bus on my way back to NYC from a business conference. I'm happy that I didn't drink and didn't have any residual cravings or something from having drank over the weekend. It was at a hotel conference center and lots of people were hanging out at the lobby bar. I went to the dinners, but both nights afterwards went up to my room and watched basketball. Went to the hotel gym both mornings and it was nice going into the conference in the mornings feeling very good and then seeing a bunch of people all glassy eyed and hungover.

Yes, I've been doing online dating and yes, there's a field where you could mark non-drinker, leave blank, or put "socially, moderately or heavily." I've yet to see anybody actually put "heavily," but anyway, mine is just blank. I suppose I could put non-drinker and look for only people who have that selected as well, but my thinking was I'd be limiting my options that way and missing out on things that I would find more important, which for me is someone who likes travel, sports and is not religious or a crazy republican.

So yeah, maybe if this doesn't work out, then I'll think of changing my profile and searching for someone else who is a non-drinker, just to take that out of the equation. For now, we do have a movie date planned for this weekend. There might be a crazy snow storm, so we'll see how that plays out. I will say that I'm far from 100% confident I won't drink. My mind keeps saying stuff like "well, nothing out of control happened last weekend, and wouldn't it be nice after the movie to go to a place to grab drinks after?" Unfortunately, that's like hard wired in for my dating life. Logically, I know there are alternatives, but I won't lie and say that thought isn't there. And yes, one thing I know for sure is that if I make "exceptions" to not drinking, it will slip back being into the norm and then I'll be back at more horrible habits, likely with the relationship definitely over.

So yeah, overall, I'm in a bit of a weird spot mentally. I so badly want a relationship that I know I'm risking sobriety. I know last February when I wound up in the hospital and began the run of trying to get sober, I instantly wanted to get back to trying to date, but I took advice from here and avoided it. So now I need to use some of my new skills and figure out a way to navigate this.

Thanks for the kind words Dee. I hope you're doing well!

Ready, congrats on the new car. Hopefully it does well in the snow. Northeast seems like it's going to take a beating this weekend.

ReadyOrNot123

Good to hear from you Mets. Yes, I'm excited about the car, I pick it up tomorrow. It's 4 wheel drive but I still want it in the garage in time for the snow! Hopefully we don't get much, they're doing the waffling thing on TV with the forecast.

I don't think you have to look for non-drinkers necessarily. Just that they understand that you don't drink and are ok with that. I 100% agree, that other things are more important, and we are on the same page about religion and crazy republicans. I married a republican and so we've cancelled each other out in the election booth, but he's not all that crazy so is actually jumping on the Hillary wagon if the choice is between her and Trump. At least that's what he is telling me now! Anyway, movies sound like a nice date night, and hopefully you won't drink. You know the traps, don't need to be told, but I'll say it anyway - the slope is slippery indeed. Stay away from it!! You don't want to be the guy who lies to his wife (yes I'm projecting forward), hides the bottles, lives in fear of being confronted and lives in a constant state of anxiety and shame. Been there, got the tshirt, hated myself.

Got to get back to work in order to tie up some end of day loose ends. Have a good one.

Dee74

I'm fine thanks Mets

I wonder whether there isn't a little AV there?
you might be pleasantly surprised by other non drinkers Mets?


D