Class of May 2015 (Part 5)
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Johnny- LOL!!!!! I had no idea Dave Matthews had such rabid fans! "....about to flip a Jetta on it's ski-racked roof" had me cracking up!!
We may have a stormy day here, AllieK so I may doing an arts and crafts day with my kiddos. They love finding rocks outside, painting them to make new 'pets' haha!
Casey, I understand what you are saying about the restaurant biz. I didn't start drinking until I worked in one in college- it is quite a partying culture. Tons of credit to you for staying sober- and over the years I met quite a few bartenders in recovery!!!
We may have a stormy day here, AllieK so I may doing an arts and crafts day with my kiddos. They love finding rocks outside, painting them to make new 'pets' haha!
Casey, I understand what you are saying about the restaurant biz. I didn't start drinking until I worked in one in college- it is quite a partying culture. Tons of credit to you for staying sober- and over the years I met quite a few bartenders in recovery!!!
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Haven't been posting a ton in here as I am usually in Newcomers and such, but I plan to keep up with you Mayvens. Just did the online SR meeting tonight. One of our members has almost 3 yrs sober, and she urged all newcomers to keep in touch with their class.
So, as I love to heed advice from people with a good amount of time sober, I am going to do just that and stay close to you all.!
So, as I love to heed advice from people with a good amount of time sober, I am going to do just that and stay close to you all.!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Time difference: Type the city or place and bingo...
The World Clock - City Search, Search for city, place or country
Melbourne is 14 hours ahead of CT. That's right by Tasmania? It's always fascinated me. But just getting to Australia would be enough. I'd like to cross it by motorcycle.
Night it's late
The World Clock - City Search, Search for city, place or country
Melbourne is 14 hours ahead of CT. That's right by Tasmania? It's always fascinated me. But just getting to Australia would be enough. I'd like to cross it by motorcycle.
Night it's late
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Starting day 37. Up way too early again. Didn't sleep well again. Not going to stress on it. After an hour or more of not being able to sleep, decided to just get up and face the day. Going to make some breakfast here in a few minutes.
Work this morning. Going to my folks' house after work to do last load of laundry that I wasn't able to finish yesterday. No other plans. Wishing everyone a safe and sober Saturday!
Dharma33--glad you checked in and agree with whoever in chat said to stick close to your class. It's worked wonders for me so far. Helped me build some accountability and also a good support system.
Work this morning. Going to my folks' house after work to do last load of laundry that I wasn't able to finish yesterday. No other plans. Wishing everyone a safe and sober Saturday!
Dharma33--glad you checked in and agree with whoever in chat said to stick close to your class. It's worked wonders for me so far. Helped me build some accountability and also a good support system.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Maybe someone needs to start a "Class of Australians Talking While the Rest of the World Sleeps" thread.
I figure Dee must get about three hours of sleep a night since you never know when he's going to pop up on a thread. It's pretty amazing.
I figure Dee must get about three hours of sleep a night since you never know when he's going to pop up on a thread. It's pretty amazing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 174
48 hours until 45 days - half way through 90 days.
Going to start another chapter in the journey next week - as it's become increasingly clear that the mental issues that got me to the stage I was aren't yet resolved - only manifesting themselves in different ways - like over-indulging in caffeine and over-exercising - hence I seem to be tired all the time.
Though when out last night, due to toning down exercising, was definitely a shitload more energetic than before. And during the night, saw plenty of examples of why I stopped drinking; a guy I used to teach with (whom I had until now thought was pretty sound, good teacher etc), while pissed, said some transphobic stuff to a ladyboy, and tried to grab her crotch.
And a drunk Brit (sad to come from the same country as me) was being annoying and inapporpriate with my Thai friend Maz (wasn't overly worried about her though - the girl can punch like a steamhammer when she's pissed off), poking her, including on the head.
When I tried to explain to him that in Thai culture, touching someone on the head isn't cool (it's the worst sign of disrespect actually - in Buddhism, the head is the most sacred part of the body, touching someone's sacred space is the worst thing you can do short of getting nob out and pissing on them - though there are one or two exceptions; being touched on the head by a senior monk, or a member of the Thai royal family is considered a blessing; the aforementioned people are kinda transmitting some of their holiness to you if they do that), he got arrogant, calling me a sheep and a conformist, saying he shouldn't have to respect Thai culture - even though he actually lives here (he's been a teacher here for a month - though if he continues on this path, he won't last here very long).
These two examples and other episodes of arseholery I witnessed well and truly reminded me why I stopped drinking.
But I'm digressing. There's no question I've definitely substituted booze with caffeine. So going to try to quit that. Though every time I think about quitting caffeine buzz, get same kind of AV thoughts that used to come up every time I thought about drinking my 'last beer'.
It's definitely no bad thing I've quit booze & smoking. But kind of feels like just going without alcohol was only the easy part. As was quitting insanely long daily treks on top of teaching schedule - I'm busier than I have been for a very long time, no wonder I'm so tired.
Next stage is, I guess, trying to go without caffeine. Not sure how to do that, considering I feel so dependent on it in early mornings, when teaching, when my energy levels need to be up. And then get on the meditation again - and do it consistently, every day. Go right to the core of my stuff that way.
Going to start another chapter in the journey next week - as it's become increasingly clear that the mental issues that got me to the stage I was aren't yet resolved - only manifesting themselves in different ways - like over-indulging in caffeine and over-exercising - hence I seem to be tired all the time.
Though when out last night, due to toning down exercising, was definitely a shitload more energetic than before. And during the night, saw plenty of examples of why I stopped drinking; a guy I used to teach with (whom I had until now thought was pretty sound, good teacher etc), while pissed, said some transphobic stuff to a ladyboy, and tried to grab her crotch.
And a drunk Brit (sad to come from the same country as me) was being annoying and inapporpriate with my Thai friend Maz (wasn't overly worried about her though - the girl can punch like a steamhammer when she's pissed off), poking her, including on the head.
When I tried to explain to him that in Thai culture, touching someone on the head isn't cool (it's the worst sign of disrespect actually - in Buddhism, the head is the most sacred part of the body, touching someone's sacred space is the worst thing you can do short of getting nob out and pissing on them - though there are one or two exceptions; being touched on the head by a senior monk, or a member of the Thai royal family is considered a blessing; the aforementioned people are kinda transmitting some of their holiness to you if they do that), he got arrogant, calling me a sheep and a conformist, saying he shouldn't have to respect Thai culture - even though he actually lives here (he's been a teacher here for a month - though if he continues on this path, he won't last here very long).
These two examples and other episodes of arseholery I witnessed well and truly reminded me why I stopped drinking.
But I'm digressing. There's no question I've definitely substituted booze with caffeine. So going to try to quit that. Though every time I think about quitting caffeine buzz, get same kind of AV thoughts that used to come up every time I thought about drinking my 'last beer'.
It's definitely no bad thing I've quit booze & smoking. But kind of feels like just going without alcohol was only the easy part. As was quitting insanely long daily treks on top of teaching schedule - I'm busier than I have been for a very long time, no wonder I'm so tired.
Next stage is, I guess, trying to go without caffeine. Not sure how to do that, considering I feel so dependent on it in early mornings, when teaching, when my energy levels need to be up. And then get on the meditation again - and do it consistently, every day. Go right to the core of my stuff that way.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Haha! Cissy. Casey closed. Good one.
I've actually ridden horses my whole life. However I am not named after any rodeo related personality. At least not that I know of!
Allie, I listen to country sometimes too, but I've recently noticed there's a lot of songs about not drinking too. Even made myself a little playlist of them!
Copper, sorry to hear about the slip but glad you're back. Nothing you can do about it now except move on. I know how busy life can be, but just checking in once a day makes a huge difference for me. Even if it's just a quick "hi, I'm here" and nothing else, it seems to help!
Johnno, good luck with the caffeine! I need to quit that too. I haven't been substituting, but I've always drank too much of it. Not looking forward to that task!
Had another drinking dream last night. I had a sip of corona and then spit it back out and couldn't figure out if it counted as drinking or not haha. Not sure why I'm having them again all of a sudden, haven't really had any thoughts of drinking, but I don't mind them. It's a good reminder of how I would feel if I actually did ever drink!
Hope you all have a lovely day! I'm off to try some hang gliding. Fingers crossed for no broken bones!
I've actually ridden horses my whole life. However I am not named after any rodeo related personality. At least not that I know of!
Allie, I listen to country sometimes too, but I've recently noticed there's a lot of songs about not drinking too. Even made myself a little playlist of them!
Copper, sorry to hear about the slip but glad you're back. Nothing you can do about it now except move on. I know how busy life can be, but just checking in once a day makes a huge difference for me. Even if it's just a quick "hi, I'm here" and nothing else, it seems to help!
Johnno, good luck with the caffeine! I need to quit that too. I haven't been substituting, but I've always drank too much of it. Not looking forward to that task!
Had another drinking dream last night. I had a sip of corona and then spit it back out and couldn't figure out if it counted as drinking or not haha. Not sure why I'm having them again all of a sudden, haven't really had any thoughts of drinking, but I don't mind them. It's a good reminder of how I would feel if I actually did ever drink!
Hope you all have a lovely day! I'm off to try some hang gliding. Fingers crossed for no broken bones!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
AGAG--So I know it doesn't work with alcohol, but could you possibly moderate your caffeine intake? Maybe allow yourself one cup of your preferred beverage every morning or noon time?
It is pretty eye opening to soberly observe drunks in their natural state and habitat, isn't it?
Dee-- There is truly an emoticon for every situation, eh?
It is pretty eye opening to soberly observe drunks in their natural state and habitat, isn't it?
Dee-- There is truly an emoticon for every situation, eh?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: STL
Posts: 388
Good morning everybody! I also find myself drinking way too much caffeine. It is definitely something I need to work on but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. One battle at a time.
So this morning when we woke up the cops were dropping crazy neighbor at her house. We can't quite piece together what happened but I'm glad I'm not in her shoes right now. I haven't spoken to her since I quit drinking and I'm so glad. She and I were never good influences on each other.
I have a friend who celebrated 5 months sober yesterday! I am very proud of her and wish the best for her. I have been having dinner with her about every other week. She was the person I turned to when I decided to quit. I appreciate knowing that there is someone in my life going through the same things. She says she still thinks about drinking occasionally but it isn't very often. That gives me hope because in some days the thought of drinking is really hard to shake off.
My daughter wants me to take her to the bank to open a savings account this morning and when she asked me about it. I said "maybe". It's funny how old habits die hard. Even though I'm not drinking I STILL find it hard to commit to anything on a Saturday morning. For years I knew that if I planned anything for that time I would probably not show up so I would never commit to anything. It's a hard habit to break. This is the first time I realized that I still do it.
Random thoughts on Saturday morning...
I should get moving now. I'll check in later.
Have a great day! :-)
So this morning when we woke up the cops were dropping crazy neighbor at her house. We can't quite piece together what happened but I'm glad I'm not in her shoes right now. I haven't spoken to her since I quit drinking and I'm so glad. She and I were never good influences on each other.
I have a friend who celebrated 5 months sober yesterday! I am very proud of her and wish the best for her. I have been having dinner with her about every other week. She was the person I turned to when I decided to quit. I appreciate knowing that there is someone in my life going through the same things. She says she still thinks about drinking occasionally but it isn't very often. That gives me hope because in some days the thought of drinking is really hard to shake off.
My daughter wants me to take her to the bank to open a savings account this morning and when she asked me about it. I said "maybe". It's funny how old habits die hard. Even though I'm not drinking I STILL find it hard to commit to anything on a Saturday morning. For years I knew that if I planned anything for that time I would probably not show up so I would never commit to anything. It's a hard habit to break. This is the first time I realized that I still do it.
Random thoughts on Saturday morning...
I should get moving now. I'll check in later.
Have a great day! :-)
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Freedom1982--congrats on 40 days! When are you getting your Super Bike!?
I'm looking forward to hitting that number myself on Tuesday. I was just thinking about this yesterday--when I do hit 40 days, it'll be the fourth longest period of sobriety I've ever had since I took my first drink ever in April 1999. (I bet I'm one of the only people on SR who can tell you the exact date and pretty much the exact hour that I took my first drink ever.)
I've faltered on 39 days a couple of times including once this year when I made a New Year's resolution to stop drinking and did so until early February. That time I mainly stayed sober by sitting alone in my house and playing video games obsessively. I checked in once a day here on SR but didn't really reach out to anyone else or pay attention to other's problems.
I've also hit 53 days twice. Both times were ten or more years ago and in large part were because I was in the middle of legal situations that made it nearly impossible for me to drink. Once those legal issues were resolved, my desire to not drink disappeared immediately as well.
And then my very first go-round at sobriety after joining SR in July 2013, I went 69 days. I was reasonably active on SR that time, though nothing like I am now. I still mainly talked about myself instead of trying to get out of my own head and help others.I was also going to AA meetings near every day but was not working the steps or asking for help. I mainly just sat in my chair and listened but didn't take any action besides opening that meeting room door. When I did get that first craving in a while at day 69, I had absolutely no defense against it. It was pretty much an instantaneous decision--"My life is going better. Maybe drinking really wasn't the problem. Let's try it again and see what happens now that the rest of my life is starting to straighten out." While my drinking since then hasn't caused me to hit some of the lows that it did earlier in my life, it has certainly not made my life any easier either.
So, anyways, 69 days is my "record." But this current time is by far my "best" sobriety in that I really feel like I'm on the right path and am being active in my recovery. It just feels different.
While I don't want to get cocky about it or take sobriety for granted, I feel more and more comfortable every day saying things like "WHEN I get to day 40." While I know I only have the gift of grace just for today, I also know that if I keep doing the same things today that I did yesterday, I will go to bed sober tonight. That's a fact. And I do also truly believe today that I don't have to take that first drink no matter what. Drinking is no longer a viable option for me.
Site--hang gliding? Good for you, but I could never do that. Not scared of heights or anything and I know it's safe if you know what you're doing, but I just can't make myself take chances like that. I'm a big old chicken for anything more dangerous than your average roller coaster. Have fun and hope you check in when you're done!
AllieK--congrats to your friend for her 5 months! How is she maintaining her sobriety? Have a great day with your daughter. What a responsible young lady asking to open a savings account. That's awesome!
Very short shift at work today. I had to take a couple of tests. They were easy peasy. Now I'm off until Monday night. Maybe that fact will let me sleep easier. Wishing everyone a safe and sober Saturday!
I'm looking forward to hitting that number myself on Tuesday. I was just thinking about this yesterday--when I do hit 40 days, it'll be the fourth longest period of sobriety I've ever had since I took my first drink ever in April 1999. (I bet I'm one of the only people on SR who can tell you the exact date and pretty much the exact hour that I took my first drink ever.)
I've faltered on 39 days a couple of times including once this year when I made a New Year's resolution to stop drinking and did so until early February. That time I mainly stayed sober by sitting alone in my house and playing video games obsessively. I checked in once a day here on SR but didn't really reach out to anyone else or pay attention to other's problems.
I've also hit 53 days twice. Both times were ten or more years ago and in large part were because I was in the middle of legal situations that made it nearly impossible for me to drink. Once those legal issues were resolved, my desire to not drink disappeared immediately as well.
And then my very first go-round at sobriety after joining SR in July 2013, I went 69 days. I was reasonably active on SR that time, though nothing like I am now. I still mainly talked about myself instead of trying to get out of my own head and help others.I was also going to AA meetings near every day but was not working the steps or asking for help. I mainly just sat in my chair and listened but didn't take any action besides opening that meeting room door. When I did get that first craving in a while at day 69, I had absolutely no defense against it. It was pretty much an instantaneous decision--"My life is going better. Maybe drinking really wasn't the problem. Let's try it again and see what happens now that the rest of my life is starting to straighten out." While my drinking since then hasn't caused me to hit some of the lows that it did earlier in my life, it has certainly not made my life any easier either.
So, anyways, 69 days is my "record." But this current time is by far my "best" sobriety in that I really feel like I'm on the right path and am being active in my recovery. It just feels different.
While I don't want to get cocky about it or take sobriety for granted, I feel more and more comfortable every day saying things like "WHEN I get to day 40." While I know I only have the gift of grace just for today, I also know that if I keep doing the same things today that I did yesterday, I will go to bed sober tonight. That's a fact. And I do also truly believe today that I don't have to take that first drink no matter what. Drinking is no longer a viable option for me.
Site--hang gliding? Good for you, but I could never do that. Not scared of heights or anything and I know it's safe if you know what you're doing, but I just can't make myself take chances like that. I'm a big old chicken for anything more dangerous than your average roller coaster. Have fun and hope you check in when you're done!
AllieK--congrats to your friend for her 5 months! How is she maintaining her sobriety? Have a great day with your daughter. What a responsible young lady asking to open a savings account. That's awesome!
Very short shift at work today. I had to take a couple of tests. They were easy peasy. Now I'm off until Monday night. Maybe that fact will let me sleep easier. Wishing everyone a safe and sober Saturday!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 216
Hi guys....just checking in on a Saturday morning. Day 33 for me. Casey, you have to keep posting with your day count because that's how I keep track. I'm 4 days behind you.
Feeling blah lately, like just going through the motions. Nagging memories of a trauma that happened in 2012 creeping back in. My drinking skyrocketed afterwards and sort of numbed it, but now after 30 plus days with no alcohol it's back. It's funny, I don't really feel like drinking over it but I do have my moments.
Have a good Saturday guys
Feeling blah lately, like just going through the motions. Nagging memories of a trauma that happened in 2012 creeping back in. My drinking skyrocketed afterwards and sort of numbed it, but now after 30 plus days with no alcohol it's back. It's funny, I don't really feel like drinking over it but I do have my moments.
Have a good Saturday guys
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Haha Gina I'm one day behind you and that's how I keep track! Sorry you're feeling blah. I know what you mean. I'm trying to wait until I have some more sober time before I try to deal with some past issues because I know they've lead me to drink and is going to be hard. I'm not ready yet, but they seem to want to pop into my kind anyways sometimes.,.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 216
Thanks, Site. That's what I'm trying to do, just push it away. Trying to get motivated to do something, anything today, but I just feel like doing nothing. My dog is butting my arms off the keyboard now with her big head so have to run. I can't even have one hand on the keyboard, it has to be both hands off the keyboard.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Quitting is difficult because like Gina said, all of the stuff you've trying to forget or ignore starts bubbling to the surface. I think the physical addiction to substances is a bit dramatized. But my body is bullet-proof it seems, so maybe I'm different.
For me yes, it's remembering old traumas, and my unbridled stupidly, arrogance and obnoxious behavior. Further, the realization that I really have screwed up. Or things 'got screwed up,' and my position in life is a tenuous one at best. The latter is the most daunting and difficult to deal with, because now one needs to think: Ok, so I was an obnoxious little snit to a bunch of people I really never have to deal with again, there's not a lot I can do about it, so let it go. However, the realization of my crappy position in life, is depressing and not easily dispatched from my psyche. It brings on a host of scary possibilities, terrifying variables, and the ever present shame. How do I get out if this jam? If I do X, what happens if Y comes to pass? How stupid can I possibly be to have landed here?
I guess the various programs deal with this.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
For me yes, it's remembering old traumas, and my unbridled stupidly, arrogance and obnoxious behavior. Further, the realization that I really have screwed up. Or things 'got screwed up,' and my position in life is a tenuous one at best. The latter is the most daunting and difficult to deal with, because now one needs to think: Ok, so I was an obnoxious little snit to a bunch of people I really never have to deal with again, there's not a lot I can do about it, so let it go. However, the realization of my crappy position in life, is depressing and not easily dispatched from my psyche. It brings on a host of scary possibilities, terrifying variables, and the ever present shame. How do I get out if this jam? If I do X, what happens if Y comes to pass? How stupid can I possibly be to have landed here?
I guess the various programs deal with this.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by Ginamarie323 
Day 33 for me. Casey, you have to keep posting with your day count because that's how I keep track. I'm 4 days behind you.
Feeling blah lately, like just going through the motions. Nagging memories of a trauma that happened in 2012 creeping back in. My drinking skyrocketed afterwards and sort of numbed it, but now after 30 plus days with no alcohol it's back. It's funny, I don't really feel like drinking over it but I do have my moments.
Feeling blah lately, like just going through the motions. Nagging memories of a trauma that happened in 2012 creeping back in. My drinking skyrocketed afterwards and sort of numbed it, but now after 30 plus days with no alcohol it's back. It's funny, I don't really feel like drinking over it but I do have my moments.
Is the 2012 trauma something that a therapist or counselor might help with? If so, maybe it's time to do so. Time is not the sole healer of all wounds. Sometimes they take something more.
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