Quitting is difficult because like Gina said, all of the stuff you've trying to forget or ignore starts bubbling to the surface. I think the physical addiction to substances is a bit dramatized. But my body is bullet-proof it seems, so maybe I'm different.
For me yes, it's remembering old traumas, and my unbridled stupidly, arrogance and obnoxious behavior. Further, the realization that I really have screwed up. Or things 'got screwed up,' and my position in life is a tenuous one at best. The latter is the most daunting and difficult to deal with, because now one needs to think: Ok, so I was an obnoxious little snit to a bunch of people I really never have to deal with again, there's not a lot I can do about it, so let it go. However, the realization of my crappy position in life, is depressing and not easily dispatched from my psyche. It brings on a host of scary possibilities, terrifying variables, and the ever present shame. How do I get out if this jam? If I do X, what happens if Y comes to pass? How stupid can I possibly be to have landed here?
I guess the various programs deal with this.
Anyway, thanks for listening.
