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Class of October 2013 - Part 14

Old 03-24-2015, 05:27 AM
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Class of October 2013 - Part 14

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-13-a-20.html

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Old 03-24-2015, 06:56 AM
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Thanks D
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Old 03-24-2015, 09:11 AM
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Hi friends! Quick check in.

WD - how are you doing, pal? Thinking of you!

DD - any update on your mom? hugs!

SW - what's going on with you? Update?

HD - thinking of you! Hope things are getting better with your daughter and grandkids.

I went fishing this last weekend with AA Guy. We had a really great time. I had never been fishing before and it is one of his fave things to do. I caught 5 trout (and the biggest one of the day which won me a little side bet - I'll spare you the details LOL). We ate some of the fish for dinner when we got home on Sunday. it was so cool to catch the food we ate - I don't know how to explain it except to say that it made me feel like a good little human hehehe. Things are good with him. We talk about EVERYTHING and it is so nice to be able to do that with a man. I have never been in a relationship like this. It feels like we are truly friends first and foremost and that the romantic part is above and beyond.

Anyway, I broke things off with the Sprint Guy officially yesterday. He took it well. No drama. I think he could see it coming. What a relief!

FINALLY got approval on my mortgage refi yesterday (post-divorce). This is great news as I have been trying to get this done for two months now. I guess rates are good and the mortgage companies are over-loaded with requests at the moment. It was due for the divorce on March 10th so I was sweating things there for a bit.

Redid Steps 1-3 with my new sponsor and working on 4 (again). She is not pressuring me at all and things are moving along quite nicely now.

Still nothing with my 17 year old daughter but I am just working on me and hoping she comes around at some point. She asks the little ones if I ever talk about her and if I miss her but then continues to tell them she does not like who I have become. I just need to stay true to who I am and let her work this stuff out. I have told the littles to please tell her yes, I miss her and I will be here when she is ready to talk. Speaking of the younger ones, they are doing good. The sadness is mostly gone and we are working on calmness and happiness at my house. I have to let go of what happens when they are with their dad. Nothing I can do about it.

That pretty much sums things up for me lately. Work sucks - I am waiting to see if I got a second interview at a different company. Cross your fingers for me!

I still think about our old friends and hope they are doing well (Driver, Bill, Jeff...)
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Old 03-24-2015, 10:54 AM
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Hi Cynderino im from the class of july 2013 but i stay in touch with a lot of the classes and try to help and be supportive i am doing ok i currently have an ongoing ear infection (i see specialist for 2nd time at the end of april) and i also have been treated for alopecia and a patch of my hair is slowly starting to grow back

I am making lamb stuffed aubergines at the moment for my dinner hope you have had a nice day
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Old 03-24-2015, 11:01 AM
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Wow ... I post a groaner of a pun and Dee thinks it's cause to start a new thread. I guess I need to find better material.

Cindy ... Sounds like Beginner's Luck with the fishing! Glad you were able to land the Catch-of-the-Day. I'm speaking of the fish ... not AA Guy.

SW ... Glad to have you posting with us!
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Old 03-24-2015, 03:06 PM
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I know I don't comment on your post and I don't expect one on mine. Yet I just need to get somethings off my chest.

My daughter is calling me almost daily blaming me for CPS being called on her, my response is you brought this on yourself, if it got that bad that CPS had to be called then obviously it was brought on by you. You need to fix it. Plus she told my 3 yr old G'daughter she wasn't going to see me any more.

Work is getting very stressful, more and more work not enough time to get it done.

I have a house I rent out, and now I am ready to let go of it, my renters are begging to stay. I don't make them pay what the monthly house payment is so I am losing money on this house going on 3 yrs. I allowed them to rent because they need a place to live.

Took my husband to a medium, last Sunday and it freak him out to the core. He won't talk to me about what was so upsetting but he will to his best friend (Old girlfriend).

I came home today, sat outside (45) and cried for a while the whole time wanting a drink. I just wanted one glass of wine..No I didn't have one but DAMN it I miss it sometimes. I feel like I have no one to talk too.. It is getting harder and harder to say no to AV
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Old 03-24-2015, 03:22 PM
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you always have us to talk to HDR - and I'm always happy to reply to your posts
The children are always the most important thing - so I hope CPS getting involved will help them.

I also hope your daughter will come around. I know that must be painful.

I don't know what to say about your husband. Maybe he feels it would upset you to know?

Do you do AA or anything like that? the real people aspect of it might help you find more folks to talk to and make friends with?

One thing I know is that drinking will not help any of this - it will make things much worse tho...I hope the rest of your week improves anyway

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Old 03-24-2015, 03:29 PM
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just coincidence whodey LOL

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Old 03-24-2015, 03:54 PM
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Thanks Dee--- No AA for me tried it twice it just wasn't working for me. I will bury my feelings I am good at it.. No I won't drink either. it is not to say I won't think about it though
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:24 PM
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Hi, guys. Rosebud, I'm sorry. A lot of times in life it seems like when it rains, it pours, but if I look at my overall life a much larger percentage of it is good and peaceful. The bad times stand out because they really aren't the norm, if we are honest with ourselves. For most of my life, I took abusive phone calls and face-to-face rants from my personality disordered parents. When I really started taking care of myself and focused on sobriety, it started to become really apparent to me that accepting abuse was self abuse and that was as bad as the abuse others inflicted on me. You do not have to listen to any of your daughter's rants. Your renters will find another home. Put them and your daughter and your grandchildren and your husband in your HP's hands. He loves them every bit as much as He loves any of us and He takes full responsibility for them and their lives. He only wants you to share responsibility with Him for your life!
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Old 03-24-2015, 06:29 PM
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My mom has now doctored the story that she fell because of her bunions, although the clear story of what really happened has not appeared. My aunt and I talked again and she has been very supportive and loving, so I am grateful for that. I put a call into a therapist. I think a few sessions of therapy would be good for me right now as my mom's alcoholism seems to be on an even bigger downhill spiral.

Otherwise, I am doing well. We are hoping to close on this home by the end of the month. My job is working on my nerves, too and I am seriously considering quitting it this summer and looking for another one this fall, but this could change. Overall, I am getting better at sitting back and just experiencing life on a day-to-day even keel basis.

Love your corny jokes, WD! Keep em coming!!
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Old 03-25-2015, 01:21 AM
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Originally Posted by HDrosebud View Post
Thanks Dee--- No AA for me tried it twice it just wasn't working for me. I will bury my feelings I am good at it.. No I won't drink either. it is not to say I won't think about it though
well you can bury your feelings but I have to be honest - I don't think that's the best or most healthy response.

sounds to me like you need an outlet - I only suggested AA because it's everywhere and it's full of folks who understand.

You could go to SMART or LifeRing too, or simply pursue a hobby or an interest - maybe some volunteering if you have the time - something that gets you interested, interacting with people and making new friends?

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Old 03-25-2015, 04:21 AM
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Thanks everyone for the words of advice, no I didn't drink. I went to bed early. DD I usually turn to HP but it wasn't until I read your advice this morning I realzied that is what I need to do. I still have a knot in my chest and tears in my eyes but I know I will be ok.

Thanks for letting me vent
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Old 03-25-2015, 07:42 AM
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HDR - sending lots of hugs and love your way. You have several different things going on and you sound overwhelmed. One thing that I started to do back when I first got sober is to go on walks. I have moved onto running for the most part at this point but I do something every day. 30 minutes walking - even in the cold and snow - always seems to help get my mind in the right place.

There are no minimum posting requirements for support here. XOXO
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Old 03-25-2015, 09:04 AM
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Rosebud ... I congratulate you on not drinking. You're getting it from all fronts ... work, daughter, husband, even renters. In the midst of the turmoil, do take a moment and pat yourself on the back for remaining sober.

The burying of feelings. I've read that book ... but can't say I would recommend it. Burying feelings is one of the reasons I took to drinking. Bury 'em and pour a bottle of booze on top. Great way to hide. Terrible way, however, to resolve anything.

Keep posting. I've always sensed in your posts that you had a lot going, but seemed reluctant to talk about it. Tober Nation is here for you. Post away.

Rainy in Whoville this morning, but supposed to hit 70 this afternoon! Now you're talkin'!
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Old 03-25-2015, 11:57 AM
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Whodey-- you are correct on the burying of the feeling and not telling all..something I learned at a young age, it is better to bury than to burden others with your problems. Even my best friend knows something is going on but I can't burden her with it.. Maybe that is one of the reason I choose to start drinking in the first place.. you gave me something to think about. Still drink free

Jealous how you are getting 50 here in Michigan
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Old 03-25-2015, 01:15 PM
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Rosebud, burying feelings helped contribute to my two large stomach ulcers, that and gallons and gallons of red wine . . . .
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Old 03-26-2015, 08:23 AM
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Quick update on the Sprint guy - broke things off with him yesterday. Basically just told him that I am not in a place to date right now and hoped we could be friends. He took it really well. No drama. Such a huge relief!
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Old 03-26-2015, 08:36 AM
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I'm sure it wasn't easy, but you did the right thing, Cindy (although every guy within reach in cyberspace winced at the "hope we can be friends"-part ... !!

Rosebud ... I suspect that I will always deal with the urge to bury feelings and running away and hiding. Alcohol provided me with an escape which while it proved to not be effective long-term, it did allow me to run away. Especially at home, when I'm confronted with some conflict with someone close to me, my first instinct is to run and hide!

I'm proud of myself for learning to address some issues head on. Often it's a very conscious decision on my part to listen and work through whatever drama is on the agenda. In the past, my running to hide behind the bottle created an "unavailability" to my family. I'm sure this has been an adjustment to my family as well as they now need to learn how to deal with Dad! We're getting better ...

Rainy in Whoville ... dang it.
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Old 03-26-2015, 09:33 AM
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Good stuff Cynderino
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