Class of October 2013 - Part 14
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Good luck on your interview, Cindy! Happy birthday! Have fun at the game!
Whodey, my guys don't wear suits very often either, but man, as a woman I can tell you we like seeing you all dressed up every once in a while! "Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man!"
This weekend we have a have a few house projects planned. My husband and I have always enjoyed working on home projects together and since we rented for over 3.5 years, we are feeling like making up for lost time, while it is still a novelty!
Whodey, my guys don't wear suits very often either, but man, as a woman I can tell you we like seeing you all dressed up every once in a while! "Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man!"
This weekend we have a have a few house projects planned. My husband and I have always enjoyed working on home projects together and since we rented for over 3.5 years, we are feeling like making up for lost time, while it is still a novelty!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Cindy ... Best of luck with the interview! If they're flying you out to California to interview with the second office, they must be really interested!
A birthday and a Royals game. Sounds like a great time. What's your favorite ball park food?
DD ... My wife definitely had more fun when we picked out my suit than I did! Funny how that works.
I've been reflecting on my recent thoughts regarding moderation. I've been under life pressure from multiple angles and it's all I can do to tread water and keep my head up. I definitely do better with my sobriety when I'm moving forward and have a larger vision in front of me. At those times, I'm not tempted to drink as I have bigger plans. When I'm not moving forward, however, it's tempting for me to find solace by hiding behind a drink.
Many years ago (around 20+), I went through a period of pretty heavy depression. A key aspect of my climb out of the pit was when I got outside of myself and my own negative thinking and started to give to others. I began volunteering at a local nature center and getting outside of my own head had a tremendous impact.
This feels similar. If I'm passive and let life "happen" to me, then I'm at risk to feeling beaten down and the refuge of alcohol begins to have an appeal. If I'm active, however, the dynamic changes and the allure of alcohol is much less.
That's what I know this morning. That and the fact that pollen allergies stink.
Have a great day, Tobers.
A birthday and a Royals game. Sounds like a great time. What's your favorite ball park food?
DD ... My wife definitely had more fun when we picked out my suit than I did! Funny how that works.
I've been reflecting on my recent thoughts regarding moderation. I've been under life pressure from multiple angles and it's all I can do to tread water and keep my head up. I definitely do better with my sobriety when I'm moving forward and have a larger vision in front of me. At those times, I'm not tempted to drink as I have bigger plans. When I'm not moving forward, however, it's tempting for me to find solace by hiding behind a drink.
Many years ago (around 20+), I went through a period of pretty heavy depression. A key aspect of my climb out of the pit was when I got outside of myself and my own negative thinking and started to give to others. I began volunteering at a local nature center and getting outside of my own head had a tremendous impact.
This feels similar. If I'm passive and let life "happen" to me, then I'm at risk to feeling beaten down and the refuge of alcohol begins to have an appeal. If I'm active, however, the dynamic changes and the allure of alcohol is much less.
That's what I know this morning. That and the fact that pollen allergies stink.
Have a great day, Tobers.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 353
Good Luck Cindy
I like home project DD, I am trying to get my house ready to be placed on the market, yet having to work with my renters isn't easy. Some days I want to give them 30 days then I can go in and deep clean it..
WD Always love reading your post, give me food for thought
I like home project DD, I am trying to get my house ready to be placed on the market, yet having to work with my renters isn't easy. Some days I want to give them 30 days then I can go in and deep clean it..
WD Always love reading your post, give me food for thought
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
I think I am the only AA'r here in our little group?? Much of what we talk about helping in sobriety here on this board are the same concepts followed by AA people. There are three keys to working the "program" and they are spirituality (not to be mistaken for religion), fellowship (meetings, friends, support system) and service work (helping other alcoholics mostly but in general being of service to others). I think these are good concepts for everyone, not just those of us living with addictions. The whole of humanity is spiritual for me. Putting out good energy is how I do my part there. I love going to meetings. I have met so many friends. I have someone to talk to at anytime of the day or night and we do so many fun outings, fun stuff outside of meetings.
The most important one for me though is service work. When I do something as simple as hold a door open for another person or go visit my granny in her assisted living place or pick up some trash as I walk by - those things make me feel like a good human. That's the stuff that makes me feel good. I do those things with no expectation for return - something I lost in my drinking days. I was too selfish or I was so low of self worth that I needed someone to recognize my good deeds.
One thing AA has too much of is cliches but this one I really do believe: if you aren't moving forward you are moving backwards...
The most important one for me though is service work. When I do something as simple as hold a door open for another person or go visit my granny in her assisted living place or pick up some trash as I walk by - those things make me feel like a good human. That's the stuff that makes me feel good. I do those things with no expectation for return - something I lost in my drinking days. I was too selfish or I was so low of self worth that I needed someone to recognize my good deeds.
One thing AA has too much of is cliches but this one I really do believe: if you aren't moving forward you are moving backwards...
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 358
WD - my favorite ballpark food is peanuts! I just love being outside and feeling the excitement of the game with the people around me. Watching my son watch the game he loves to play. It's all good. (I have allergies too - ugh!)
DD - that's so awesome you get to do stuff to the house now that you own it! What kind of projects are you working on? The house projects reminds me of Driver. I wonder how he and his little family are doing...and Bill and Jeff...I hope they are all doing well wherever they are!
HDR - kick 'em out and get your house sold! LOL
DD - that's so awesome you get to do stuff to the house now that you own it! What kind of projects are you working on? The house projects reminds me of Driver. I wonder how he and his little family are doing...and Bill and Jeff...I hope they are all doing well wherever they are!
HDR - kick 'em out and get your house sold! LOL
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
None of my guys went for baseball. My middle son played a couple of years of little league and my daughter played about 4-5 years of softball and she is actually an amazing pitcher, but no one developed a real passion for it. I like the more relaxed pace of baseball/softball games. My kids play/played football, lacrosse, basketball, volleyball, soccer, tennis and track. Never a dull moment.
We have hired a lot of people to do the bigger projects around the house, but my husband is sealing the gutters and after cutting back some overgrown bushes we discovered that we actually really loved the antique house lights outside, so instead of replacing them, we are going to refurbish them this weekend and paint them bronze, instead of the garish red that they are now.
WD, it is good to find out what your triggers are that starts your AV playing with the moderation game. I was surprised to see that some of my biggest triggers are actually happy, celebratory times. The holidays, anniversaries and for instance, my son's graduation really get me feeling sorry for myself sometimes that I am not imbibing with everyone else, but it always passes in less than a couple of hours and I am always happy to fall into bed sober.
We have hired a lot of people to do the bigger projects around the house, but my husband is sealing the gutters and after cutting back some overgrown bushes we discovered that we actually really loved the antique house lights outside, so instead of replacing them, we are going to refurbish them this weekend and paint them bronze, instead of the garish red that they are now.
WD, it is good to find out what your triggers are that starts your AV playing with the moderation game. I was surprised to see that some of my biggest triggers are actually happy, celebratory times. The holidays, anniversaries and for instance, my son's graduation really get me feeling sorry for myself sometimes that I am not imbibing with everyone else, but it always passes in less than a couple of hours and I am always happy to fall into bed sober.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
Okay, back in town after the out-of-town wedding.
While I wasn't tempted to drink, it was a major issue for me to be surrounded by drinking and not being able to participate. I really felt like an oddball. Alcohol was upfront and prominent all weekend: open bars, multiple gatherings in bars, toasts, a tradition of passing around a bottle of bourbon, etc..
For some reason, soda which I was drinking in the reception area was not allowed into the dining area, so I had to have water while everyone else had wine/champagne. Again, I don't feel like I was tempted, but it stunk being the outsider.
I know that we sometimes skew what's happening around us and think everyone is drinking but us, so I purposefully looked for other non-drinkers ... zero. Zero. Perhaps this wedding was an exception ... I don't know ... but I never felt like I was part of the celebration like everyone else.
Enough whining.
Cindy ... I want to hear about the job interview and the Royals game. I hope you didn't get ejected from the game! Sounds like there were some fireworks ...
While I wasn't tempted to drink, it was a major issue for me to be surrounded by drinking and not being able to participate. I really felt like an oddball. Alcohol was upfront and prominent all weekend: open bars, multiple gatherings in bars, toasts, a tradition of passing around a bottle of bourbon, etc..
For some reason, soda which I was drinking in the reception area was not allowed into the dining area, so I had to have water while everyone else had wine/champagne. Again, I don't feel like I was tempted, but it stunk being the outsider.
I know that we sometimes skew what's happening around us and think everyone is drinking but us, so I purposefully looked for other non-drinkers ... zero. Zero. Perhaps this wedding was an exception ... I don't know ... but I never felt like I was part of the celebration like everyone else.
Enough whining.
Cindy ... I want to hear about the job interview and the Royals game. I hope you didn't get ejected from the game! Sounds like there were some fireworks ...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Hi, WD.
I hate to sound sexist but I am guessing that the whole not drinking thing might be a little tougher on guys. I remember I used to pride myself on being able to "drink like one of the boys," but that was kind of unusual. Being "ladylike" and not drinking is pretty socially acceptable for women, even though prim and proper really doesn't fit my personality. Uptight people really get on my nerves and in my experience, many non-drinking people are people who I would classify as "uptight."
I guess this is really isn't helpful or rah-rah sobriety. I just wanted you to know that I can commiserate with you. Even still, the uncomfortableness of these occasions are a small price to pay for the overall betterment sobriety has brought into our lives.
I hate to sound sexist but I am guessing that the whole not drinking thing might be a little tougher on guys. I remember I used to pride myself on being able to "drink like one of the boys," but that was kind of unusual. Being "ladylike" and not drinking is pretty socially acceptable for women, even though prim and proper really doesn't fit my personality. Uptight people really get on my nerves and in my experience, many non-drinking people are people who I would classify as "uptight."
I guess this is really isn't helpful or rah-rah sobriety. I just wanted you to know that I can commiserate with you. Even still, the uncomfortableness of these occasions are a small price to pay for the overall betterment sobriety has brought into our lives.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I am guessing that the whole not drinking thing might be a little tougher on guys.
WD it's definitely a learning curve...but it gets easier...I'm not self conscious at all about not drinking now...that no soda rule would have really ticked me off tho...
D
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Hey, all. I was thinking of Little Sparrow earlier this morning. I hope she is doing okay. I have been feeling a little blue the last few days. I can't really pinpoint it to any one thing, just a lot of little irritations. I really need to move on from my dead end job, but there are some things that are holding me back, namely that my employers have become close friends of mine and there is so much flexibility and freedom that I think I would have a hard time finding that somewhere else. But at the same time, I am not challenged at all. There is zero creativity or spark there. I become a sounding board for my boss to gripe about her life. I don't have to work as we have enough money, but I don't want to go back to being a homemaker. I found that to be empty and I am afraid that my parents would try to engulf me if I went back to just being at home. I don't want to just jump to something else, though, because I really want my next move to be something that I can build on to become more of a career, especially with my children growing older. Thanks for letting me get this out.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 818
DD and Dee (D3?) ... Thanks for the support. Even though life is much better without alcohol, I think it's natural to sometimes wish we could drink. Just this morning, a colleague I don't see often was telling me about a small tavern with good food/beer and that we should make a point of meeting there. I know I could have a soda, but somehow it doesn't seem the same in my mind at this point in my journey. Dee, I hope you're right and that it will become easier with time. As it is, I know I will not drink. If I have to deal with feelings of being an outsider time to time, well, that's just the way it's going to be.
DD ... It sounds like a change of jobs or, at least, an examination of your "path" is in order. Are there jobs that entice you? If you don't need the money, I think volunteering can be a great outlet. I volunteered for years at a nature center and it was fantastic. All the fun without having to get involved with workplace politics!
Cindy ... Your travel voucher will not be approved until you post a trip report! How did the interview go?
DD ... It sounds like a change of jobs or, at least, an examination of your "path" is in order. Are there jobs that entice you? If you don't need the money, I think volunteering can be a great outlet. I volunteered for years at a nature center and it was fantastic. All the fun without having to get involved with workplace politics!
Cindy ... Your travel voucher will not be approved until you post a trip report! How did the interview go?
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