Class of March 2015 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by Pouncer 
Good morning!
I was thinking how sad it would be if our class size got smaller and smaller because we were struggling really badly one day and couldn't control the AV.
Every new urge or craving gives us a chance to be stronger in our sobriety. Those challenges are what we need to stay sober. Could we all make a pact to visit our March class when the AV is really strong?
Hoping you all have a great day!!
I was thinking how sad it would be if our class size got smaller and smaller because we were struggling really badly one day and couldn't control the AV.
Every new urge or craving gives us a chance to be stronger in our sobriety. Those challenges are what we need to stay sober. Could we all make a pact to visit our March class when the AV is really strong?
Hoping you all have a great day!!
Count me in, please. I don't know what I would do without you folks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
I came very, very close to slipping up a couple of days ago. The closest yet. Still processing how I got through the moment. Mostly, I think it was (as Dee puts it) a God shot. The scenario: an hour long intermission between two public events. I couldn't leave because I needed to talk to some people who were there -- and in writing/book world, this is when much of the 'action' or networking happens, and socializing gives me BIG anxiety.
Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first.
And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said.
I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer.
Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it.
We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time.
So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.
Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first.
And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said.
I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer.
Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it.
We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time.
So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 354
Originally Posted by NikTes
I came very, very close to slipping up a couple of days ago. The closest yet. Still processing how I got through the moment. Mostly, I think it was (as Dee puts it) a God shot. The scenario: an hour long intermission between two public events. I couldn't leave because I needed to talk to some people who were there -- and in writing/book world, this is when much of the 'action' or networking happens, and socializing gives me BIG anxiety. Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first. And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said. I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer. Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it. We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time. So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Well in the spirit of what was just said, I haven't been able to sleep more than an hour or so tonight and am crazy anxious right now in bed at 530am - huuuge work day ahead and only day 4 after my relapse, and I so want a few drinks or even some valium to calm me down right now
Something just 'feels wrong' maybe I had a bad dream in that hour or so I don't know
Either way there's no alcohol in the house so i have no choice but to get through, I'm going to listen to a meditation app and try for a little more sleep, but in a few hours I have a work brunch filled with alcohol and am already nervous about that plus the 'networking' aspect in addition to being so tired and anxious now,
I'm committed to not drinking, just wanted to put that in writing I suppose
Thanks marchers
Something just 'feels wrong' maybe I had a bad dream in that hour or so I don't know
Either way there's no alcohol in the house so i have no choice but to get through, I'm going to listen to a meditation app and try for a little more sleep, but in a few hours I have a work brunch filled with alcohol and am already nervous about that plus the 'networking' aspect in addition to being so tired and anxious now,
I'm committed to not drinking, just wanted to put that in writing I suppose
Thanks marchers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Hi immri, I hear ya and commiserate!
About your work brunch tomorrow -- please do have at your ready as many tactics as possible.
Temporary exit strategies (even if just to walk around the block outside), an explanation for not drinking (if asked, if you feel like responding to the asinine question), if you have anti-anxiety meds and think you might *need* them -- keep them handy, stand next to a sober friend, keep your paws filled with canapes, keep your eye on the clock for half time and then soon you're half way there... and then you're almost through... look forward to some ice cream at the end of the day? I know there's better tactics out there... anyone?
And when you get up, awake and ready to face the day, take a long deep breath. And then another. This day is yours for the making.
About your work brunch tomorrow -- please do have at your ready as many tactics as possible.
Temporary exit strategies (even if just to walk around the block outside), an explanation for not drinking (if asked, if you feel like responding to the asinine question), if you have anti-anxiety meds and think you might *need* them -- keep them handy, stand next to a sober friend, keep your paws filled with canapes, keep your eye on the clock for half time and then soon you're half way there... and then you're almost through... look forward to some ice cream at the end of the day? I know there's better tactics out there... anyone?
And when you get up, awake and ready to face the day, take a long deep breath. And then another. This day is yours for the making.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by NikTes
I came very, very close to slipping up a couple of days ago. The closest yet. Still processing how I got through the moment. Mostly, I think it was (as Dee puts it) a God shot. The scenario: an hour long intermission between two public events. I couldn't leave because I needed to talk to some people who were there -- and in writing/book world, this is when much of the 'action' or networking happens, and socializing gives me BIG anxiety.
Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first.
And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said.
I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer.
Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it.
We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time.
So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.
Anyway, I *almost* succumbed. As the break approached, the AV was nattering: get a beer, get a beer, get a beer, there's no f'ing way you can talk any of these people without priming yourself first.
And a part of me was trying to think rationally, objectively -- playing out the whole scene: one pint, several pints, slurring, tipping over, drinking wine at home, waking up feeling ashamed and sick and worrying over what I *may* have done/said.
I was just about to get in line at the bar, the AV had won, but just then a colleague asked me, how come you're not drinking? (Several people were already several pints in.) The question snapped me back to reality. I lied and said I was on antibiotics -- but I didn't order that beer.
Which gets me to the point of my message. I used to tell myself to "Stay strong" -- and I'd say that to other people -- "Stay strong and don't have that first drink." I don't know if that's the best way to look at it.
We're all strong here -- whether we relapse or we don't. Strength isn't the issue. I think it comes down to strategies and tactics and choices. Did we make the right choice, the best choice for long term health and happiness? Did we have the right strategy for that trigger? Smart tactics? It does come down to having a working, dynamic plan -- one that gets more and more robust with time.
So, let's keep making the best choices we can, Marchers! And let's keep adding strategies and tactics to our arsenal. We got this. We are strong.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by immri
Well in the spirit of what was just said, I haven't been able to sleep more than an hour or so tonight and am crazy anxious right now in bed at 530am - huuuge work day ahead and only day 4 after my relapse, and I so want a few drinks or even some valium to calm me down right now
Something just 'feels wrong' maybe I had a bad dream in that hour or so I don't know
Either way there's no alcohol in the house so i have no choice but to get through, I'm going to listen to a meditation app and try for a little more sleep, but in a few hours I have a work brunch filled with alcohol and am already nervous about that plus the 'networking' aspect in addition to being so tired and anxious now,
I'm committed to not drinking, just wanted to put that in writing I suppose
Thanks marchers
Something just 'feels wrong' maybe I had a bad dream in that hour or so I don't know
Either way there's no alcohol in the house so i have no choice but to get through, I'm going to listen to a meditation app and try for a little more sleep, but in a few hours I have a work brunch filled with alcohol and am already nervous about that plus the 'networking' aspect in addition to being so tired and anxious now,
I'm committed to not drinking, just wanted to put that in writing I suppose
Thanks marchers
At any rate, you GOT this! Try to focus on the actual networking. Run your "elevator speech" through your head. Focus on building those business relationships. The nerves will be high and you WILL be anxious but, I tend to find that once I've found some common ground with someone, it gets much easier. And it gives you a chance to highlight and showcase some of your skills and proficiencies!
Just remember that however it goes, we'll be here to help you in any way we can.
One day at a time.
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Nowhere, USA
Posts: 340
Originally Posted by NikTes
Ha. I feel like I didn't say no. In my mind, I had said yes, but then got sidetracked...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by SpiritOfDjinn
I know exactly what you mean. I still feel like I failed myself yesterday despite the fact that I DIDN'T drink. Just knowing that I was so close to giving up and starting over is a horrible feeling. I think that's just the nature of the beast that is addiction.
I'm inserting the turkey-rider-to-the-rescue to help us feel better...
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 919
If you are here right now reading this, you have not failed.
I am feeling bad today but trying to plow through it. I think the whole adrenaline and manic energy that has been pulling me for a while has collapsed. Fair enough, I can't keep going full blast forever. I am a manic depressive, this is how things roll. Now during the low energy phase I must do my best to keep my nutrition, sleeps, and mindset on point.
My day is consisting of tea and studying punctuated by walks. I said I would become at least conversationally fluent in this new language this year, and by god I will.
I am feeling bad today but trying to plow through it. I think the whole adrenaline and manic energy that has been pulling me for a while has collapsed. Fair enough, I can't keep going full blast forever. I am a manic depressive, this is how things roll. Now during the low energy phase I must do my best to keep my nutrition, sleeps, and mindset on point.
My day is consisting of tea and studying punctuated by walks. I said I would become at least conversationally fluent in this new language this year, and by god I will.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Thanks so much you two, those replies made me feel so much better and were really helpful. Didn't get any more sleep but listened to an aa speaker, some meditation and a bit of music now to cheer me up.
I was having real self-loathing thoughts 20 mins ago but I'm feeling more confident now. After all it's only one day!! Thanks again
I was having real self-loathing thoughts 20 mins ago but I'm feeling more confident now. After all it's only one day!! Thanks again
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 465
Good afternoon class.
Lots of good stuff here today.
Been feeling a little down, and I find that frustrating. Frustrating because I feel that I am putting my all into this recovery--exercising, eating well, seeing friends, etc. The sun is shining and it's beautiful out, but I feel down. Not sure why I feel that everything should be happy right now, but I am feeling discouraged. Not considering drinking at all, but kind of wishing that my mood would improve a bit.
Other than that, things are good in my world. I think that I probably just need to find some better ways to fill in my alone time.
Will see a Dr. if the low mood persists, but I think this may pass as quickly as it crept in.
Best to all today!!
MV
Lots of good stuff here today.
Been feeling a little down, and I find that frustrating. Frustrating because I feel that I am putting my all into this recovery--exercising, eating well, seeing friends, etc. The sun is shining and it's beautiful out, but I feel down. Not sure why I feel that everything should be happy right now, but I am feeling discouraged. Not considering drinking at all, but kind of wishing that my mood would improve a bit.
Other than that, things are good in my world. I think that I probably just need to find some better ways to fill in my alone time.
Will see a Dr. if the low mood persists, but I think this may pass as quickly as it crept in.
Best to all today!!
MV
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Have you heard of kool n sooth strips immri they get rid of migraines fast and they are 100% water ask your pharmacy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 237
Hi everyone, it's been a long week so far but I'm 24 days sober so that's one thing I'm grateful for this evening. I got home and worked on a puzzle with my husband. I'm about to read for a little bit and then go to bed early. I've been so tired lately but I'll take that over being hungover any day.
Congratulations to everyone on making it to April
Spirit, your wife sounds great and it's a huge advantage that she knows you so well that she did catch you. Or, do you think maybe you wanted to be 'caught' at least on some level? Just a thought... Regardless, I definitely agree with Dee that someone was on your side.
Soberwolf, I'm definitely checking out those migraine strips, thank you for sharing! Immri, I hope you start feeling better soon.
Have a great night everybody.
Congratulations to everyone on making it to April
Spirit, your wife sounds great and it's a huge advantage that she knows you so well that she did catch you. Or, do you think maybe you wanted to be 'caught' at least on some level? Just a thought... Regardless, I definitely agree with Dee that someone was on your side.
Soberwolf, I'm definitely checking out those migraine strips, thank you for sharing! Immri, I hope you start feeling better soon.
Have a great night everybody.
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