Originally Posted by
SpiritOfDjinn 
I know exactly what you mean. I still feel like I failed myself yesterday despite the fact that I DIDN'T drink. Just knowing that I was so close to giving up and starting over is a horrible feeling. I think that's just the nature of the beast that is addiction.
These words of yours are so true. Oh my god. I'm still beating myself up. A weight on the chest. And it makes me feel sad. I don't know if I'll ever be able to change enough on the inside to actually achieve what I need to achieve -- an ongoing sober life and just generally feeling ok. Hang in there. The worst for now -- and maybe forever -- is behind us, yes?
I'm inserting the turkey-rider-to-the-rescue to help us feel better...